


défaite

by Hannaadi88, HunkyDory (DullahanShadow)



Series: Roue de la Fortune [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Character Death, Child Abuse, Exhibitionism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lima Syndrome, M/M, Molestation, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Sexual Slavery, Sexual Slavery, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Violence, dubcon, season 1 divergence, what if voltron lost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2020-09-28 15:17:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 116,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20428082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannaadi88/pseuds/Hannaadi88, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DullahanShadow/pseuds/HunkyDory
Summary: Lance wanted. He wanted to be an ace pilot. He wanted to fall in love. He wanted to explore and see the stars. He didn’t think this was a lot to ask for.Being chosen as a Paladin wasn’t necessarily on that wish-list, but man, it was awesome.Until it wasn’t.Being kept prisoner by an evil purple alien was never part of the plan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> My friend and I were in the mood to play around and try our hand at a dark AU, and though this scenario has been written quite a bit, we wanted to do our own version :) As the original text has been adapted from our rp, we decided to focus on Lance's POV to make the reading a smoother experience for you all. We hope you enjoy the story- we certainly do!
> 
> And, as a wise old woman once said- don't like, don't read.

Lance jolts back into consciousness as something hard crashes into him.

He groans in pain as every nerve in his body feels like it's on fire, and his limbs throb with what were probably a million bruises. Or maybe a broken rib. Lance can't be sure, he's never broken anything other than his arm once, after falling off a tree, but whatever this is- it hurts. A lot.

Why does he feel like he'd spent five hours in a mixing bowl?

Opening his eyes proves to be a challenge, and even once he accomplishes the herculean task, Lance's vision is too blurry to make out anything useful. His ears ring with a dull, unpleasant sound. Lance tries to focus, to make sense of things, and he finds that he's able to move his head from side to side- though each movement is pain incarnate.

Still, from two movements alone he's able to make out Shiro to his right, Keith and Allura to his left. With how close Keith is, Lance guesses that the guy must've knocked into him and woken him up. What a klutz.

But why is he in so much pain? And why are the others on the ground next to him?

Squinting, Lance leans back against whatever hard surface he'd been placed next to and tries to decipher the scene in front of him. There's a small figure on the floor in the middle of the room, splayed and unmoving, and Lance notes with a sinking feeling the green surrounding the figure. That had to be Pidge.

And what are those tall, purple blobs in the middle of the room? Galra?

Panic swells in Lance's chest.

Had they been attacked? The last thing he can remember is speaking to Coran on the bridge.

Where is Coran? Where is Hunk? What's going on?

Turning again to look at Keith, Lance startles as he realizes that Keith is staring right back him. And, for whatever reason, the effort of focusing makes him want to throw up.  
  
Well, he might want to, but he's certainly not going to allow himself to get sick all over the place. The last thing Lance needs is to be stinky and gross on top of the cuts and bruises and the... Possibly fractured rib. 

Lance tries to remember if having all of that is possible while still actually being alive, but he can't seem to focus on one thought for more than a second or two. Everything is foggy and confusing and- fuck!

Lance winces as Keith is suddenly whirled out of his line of vision at a speed that makes Lance nauseous. The purple figure had done it, and it was suddenly close. Too close. Too big. Too alien. Why can't all aliens be as pretty as Allura?

Lance cranes his neck and makes a pained sound as he tries to find Keith again. He needs to know where everyone is. But he can't find Keith. At least, not in his current position. He can see Allura struggling next to another purple figure- Galra. Right. Pidge still hasn't moved from the floor and Shiro... Is awake? Is he? Lance can't tell.

Still no Hunk. No Coran. And now, no Keith.

Lance grits his teeth and turns back to look at the Galra peering down at him. His eyes narrow as he tries to make out any discerning features from the blurred purple mess in front of him.

"Your... Bat?"

For some reason, the Galra's ears remind Lance of bat ears and for the moment, that's the only thing he can think about.

Things come into sharp focus for a split moment when the Galra grabs Lance's chin. It's enough for him to recognize the man- can he call him that? What did one call a Galra chick? Lance doesn't dwell too long on his own questions.

But he does recognize the guy. Senpa? Sencrack? Sen something, for sure. This was the Galra whose ship Voltron had blown into smithereens. What was he doing here? How did he survive?

What... Happened?

Lance wishes he could pull away from the Galra's grasp, but the large hand had a strong grip he doubts he could pull away from, even uninjured. He does manage to frown and make a disgruntled noise. Lance has to voice his displeasure somehow. Can't have this Galra going about thinking he can turn him about like a rag-doll.

For a brief second, Lance is filled with relief as a loud sound snaps the Galra from his inspection and forces him to let Lance go. The sound is familiar... Coran, perhaps?

His hope is shattered as a shot is fired and a body that looks suspiciously like Coran's slumps to the ground. There's another shot and another figure grunts with pain as he falls to his knees, but it's clear that he's alive. Hunk?

Cold dread floods Lance's system as red pools around Coran's still body.

"No," Lance whispers hoarsely and with great struggle, reaches for his bayard. He manages to support its weight and land a hit on the Galra’s shoulder.

The Galra grunts and turns around, leering down at him and lifting him up by his tattered uniform.

“You must be a fool to think fighting is anything but futile,” the Galra sneers and drops Lance with a scoff, jerking his head in the direction of a nearby sentry.

“Take them to my ship.”

.x.

When Lance opens his eyes again, he isn't in the Castle of Lions. The fact that he can easily tell snaps him into focus and he sits up, taking stock of his body. He's better, that's a no-brainer. His vision is as sharp as ever, and the static noise in his ears is gone. He can move again, though each movement triggers a deep ache that urges him to stay put.

As do the handcuffs.

Frowning, Lance looks around the cold, metallic cell and is relieved to see his friends surrounding him in varying states of consciousness. All of them are bound and dirty, but they're alive. Lance is willing to bet that they'd undergone the same healing process he must've gone through.

Lance eagerly finds each team member in the dim purple light and notes where they are, but for the life of him he can't seem to locate Coran.

"Hey guys? Can we sound off?"

Keith is the first to reply, muttering an eloquent ‘fuck’ and shifting against the wall.

“Is everybody okay?” Keith's voice is raw.

Lance is pretty sure Allura has started to cry to his left.

"I'm fine," Lance hears Shiro grunt from the corner, and he turns to look at their leader. He wants to hear reassurance, that Coran is out there working on a way to free them from wherever the hell they are. That everything is going to be okay. That it's only a matter of time.

But all Shiro does is look around the room in pensive concentration and then lean back against the wall in resignation.

Lance doesn't like that one bit.

"I'm okay," Lance answers Keith and tries to move closer to the princess. Her crying is more distressing than Shiro's silence. Though he can't hug her, Lance sits down next to Allura and bites back a pained grunt.

"Princess, it's okay, we're here," Lance murmurs, saying the words he desperately wishes to hear himself.

Allura quiets as Lance speaks and rests her head upon his shoulder.

“I failed you,” she says with a tremble in her voice. “I failed you all. I am sorry.”

Hunk lets out a whimper of pain in the corner.

"No," Lance rasps, shaking his head, though not hard enough to disturb Allura's perch on his shoulder. "This isn't your fault, none of.... This, is."

Lance has no way of knowing that for certain, however. His hesitation triggers something in Shiro, who speaks up.

"We're on a Galra warship," he states quietly. "Commander Sendak's, to be exact. He- he commanded the ship I escaped from," Shiro adds.

Lance gulps. That doesn’t sound good.

"What happened?" He whispers, though his voice is loud and clear in the otherwise silent chamber.

Keith clears his throat.

“Sendak attacked. He attacked the Arusians. And you and Co-“

He pauses, and Lance can feel Allura stiffen at his side.

“Attacked by the crystal," Keith finishes and curls his hands. “Are any of you in fighting shape?” He asks after a pause, but the pained sound from Hunk is enough of an answer.

Lance bites his lip. The way Keith cut himself off was telling enough. He'd hoped that the image in his head of a motionless body and blood had just been a bad dream, but apparently that was too much to ask for.

Coran is dead. And they're all prisoners on a Galra ship. Lance has no doubt that the Lions are secured somewhere nearby, but with the bars and shackles, they might as well be a galaxy away.

"Keith," Shiro takes a heavy breath. "Without the Lions and our bayards, there's not much we can do at the moment. They've deactivated my arm," he lifts his robotic arm with his other hand and lets it drop limply at his side.

"The only thing we can do is try to stick together."

Keith exhales hotly.

"So, what? We give up? Shiro... What-”

"We sit and wait," Shiro states in a voice Lance hasn’t heard him use before. "Keep our eyes and ears open for any opportunity to escape with the Lions."

Footsteps echo in the hallway and everyone falls silent.

The moment the door slides open, Keith jumps up and charges at the figures. Sentries. For a moment, Lance thinks Keith will succeed in taking them down, but then one of the bots pulls out a rod and sends a course of electricity through Keith. He crumples to the ground and grunts in pain.

“Get up,” one of the sentries orders as the others grab the paladins and force them in a line out of their cell.

Lance yelps as he's dragged to his feet by the scruff of his bodysuit after a sentry decides that he was taking too long to get up by himself. He huffs and falls into a tightly guarded line, sandwiched by Hunk in back of him and Pidge in front. Lance tries to distract himself from the fear knotting in his stomach by watching Pidge carefully, ready to intervene should Pidge stumble or fall.

Their long walk takes them through deserted corridors and ends in what had to be the bridge.

If the halls were empty, then the bridge was full of Galra. Lance looks down and refuses to meet the many curious and sneering faces in the crowd, especially as he's forced to his knees. He shakes as he looks up to find a tall, looming figure standing in front of them.

That had to be Zarkon.

"Behold, the mighty Paladins of Voltron," Zarkon's voice booms in the room and is followed by laughter and jeering from the audience.

"You have had your fun, defeating my witch's beast and destroying one of our warships. But playtime is over, Earthlings. It is time for you to bow to your Emperor and beg for mercy."

Keith spits on his boots.

Silence follows Keith's insult, but it doesn’t last long. Lance winces as Zarkon takes a step towards Keith and immediately delivers a sharp kick to his face. Blood trickles down Keith's nose.

"The Red Paladin, hot-headed and stupid. You do not deserve the title of paladin. You shame your predecessor."

Zarkon steps back and surveys the kneeling paladins once more, eyes falling on the princess.

"I would be ashamed of granting a runt like him your father's title, Princess Allura of Altea. Were you truly so desperate that you made these weak Earthlings your paladins?"

Lance watches nervously as Allura straightens and stares Zarkon down.

"These paladins stand more for Voltron then you ever could," she states. "The Lions would never be foolish enough to make the same mistake twice. You will never have Voltron again. Not truly," she says and her voice remains unwavering.

Lance looks between Zarkon and Allura in confusion. He'd usually be the first one to deny that he hadn't understood something, but everything Zarkon and Allura have said so far has gone completely over his head.

Had he missed something when he'd been out? Aside from, well, the castle being invaded?

Looking at the other paladins, Lance is somewhat relieved to see his confusion mirrored on their faces as well. He bites his lip and quickly looks away as his eyes meet Keith's. Should he be speaking out as well? Or was Keith just being his usual stubborn self?

Regardless, Lance doesn't like seeing him bleed, rival or not.

"These Earthlings aren't and never were true paladins," Zarkon says dismissively. "If what you say is true, where are the Lions?" Zarkon's voice echoes off the walls. "Why do they not rush to the aid of their paladins?"

Zarkon lets his words resonate for a moment before walking over to Shiro.

"The Champion," Zarkon says mockingly and Shiro raises his head to meet Zarkon’s gaze unflinchingly.

"I suppose that out of the five of you, the Champion would make the best candidate for Black Paladin," Zarkon muses. "But none of you are truly deserving. The Lions are back where they belong."

Shiro squares his shoulders.

"We are the paladins of Voltron," he states. "And nothing you say can change that."

Zarkon gives Shiro a long, contemplative look.

"Perhaps," Zarkon drawls, "but there is plenty I can do."

Lance tears his eyes away from Shiro and Zarkon as someone from the crowd steps forward and speaks up.

“Emperor Zarkon, might I make some suggestions?”

Lance recognizes that voice. But from where?

“You may speak, Sendak.”

Oh. Sendak.

“The green one has an astute mind,” Sendak says slowly. “As long as he is under careful watch, he could produce much needed improvements to our technology. As for the Champion and the Red Paladin, I believe they would thrive in the arena.”

Lance watches with wide eyes as Shiro's face goes white as a sheet. The arena? Was that where Shiro had been before? He thinks Shiro mentioned something about being forced to fight, but they haven't really had the chance to talk much since forming Voltron for the first time.

Was Zarkon going to send Shiro and Keith to fight? Why? What exactly happened in the arena? Were they all going to be separated? But that's what Shiro said they should try to avoid!

Zarkon gives the paladins a calculating look.

"Commander Sendak, you have proved your prowess and loyalty to me and to the Empire by capturing the Lions and the Earthlings. If you say that the green one possesses the intelligence to be of service to the Empire, then I shall trust your judgement. As for the Champion and the red one- I agree. I shall like to see them humbled in the arena, especially the reckless one," Zarkon narrows his eyes at Keith before moving onto Hunk.

"And how shall you be of use to me?"

Lance looks at Hunk’s shivering form and he wants nothing more than to hug his best friend. He should speak up, say something, protect Hunk. But before he even has the chance to open his mouth, Allura clears her throat and beats him to it.

“Hunk is a deft mechanic. He can make repairs to your ships,” she says, head still held high.

"Then so be it," Zarkon says dismissively after a brief moment of consideration. "Should his overseers think otherwise, there will always be a place for him in the mines. As for you," Zarkon meets the princess's steady gaze, "the witch has personally requested you, and I am inclined to grant her request."

Lance's mouth goes dry as Zarkon's eyes finally fall on him. He's torn between meeting the Galra's gaze and looking away. What would be better? Braver? Smarter?

"You, Blue Paladin," Zarkon says loud and slow so that no one will miss his words. "The last in line. The Empire needs to be reminded that I am not to be crossed. You will make a fine example to those who unwisely rise against me."

Lance's blood runs cold.

An example?

“Sire,” Sendak suddenly interrupts and Lance jerks his head to stare at him.

“Forgive the impudence. But if you end the Blue Paladin’s life, his lion will seek another. Keep him alive so we might better control the Empire. _Your _Empire," Sendak emphasizes with a salute.

Lance can't control his body's shaking as Sendak speaks.

So it was true. Zarkon wants to kill him. Probably in a horrible, painful way if he's to be made an 'example' of.

Fuck. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

He wants to speak up, to say that he can be useful too. But as Lance wracks his brain for something he can offer the emperor, his mind goes blank. Zarkon doesn't need a pilot, practically everyone in space can fly a ship.

But the rest of Sendak's words finally sink in and Lance turns his head in the commander's direction, shocked and suspicious. Why was Sendak speaking up for him?

"Your impudence is forgiven this once, Sendak," Zarkon says stiffly. "Do not interrupt me again. What would you have done with the Blue Paladin?"

Sendak smiles, his sharp teeth glinting in the purple glow.

“There are other ways for this paladin to be made an example of, and his team seems to come to his defence, time and again. It might benefit us to have one of them under a... Tighter hand, to keep control of the others.”

Sendak looks down at Lance’s shivering form and his grin broadens.

“And after gifting you the Lions, and their paladins, I was wondering if I might request to keep this one," he states, eyes returning to Zarkon before lowering them in respect.

“If it suits you, Sire.”

Lance freezes and for the life of him, he can't tear his eyes away from Sendak's icy grin. He tries to tell himself that this isn't real, that all of this is just a bad dream, that he'll soon wake up in his bed at the Garrison.

But Lance knows that isn't true. He's in space, captured by an evil alien race and is currently having his fate decided. Death or... Sendak.

Lance doesn't even know what Sendak wants from him, why he's risking displeasing Zarkon just to ask for him. Does he want to torture him himself?

Without knowing what Sendak has in store for him, Lance can't honestly say what he'd prefer.

Unfortunately for him, the decision is completely out of his hands.

"I suppose you are deserving of some kind of reward," Zarkon sniffs and gives Lance one last look before turning away. "As I do not have any need of him, the Blue Paladin is yours if you desire him."

Lance's pulse thunders in his ears as Keith jumps in front of him with a strange growl, standing between him and the quickly approaching Sendak. He cries out in alarm as Keith is hurled to the side, falling to the floor a few feet away.

Sendak grins and hovers over them.

“You never learn,” he says bluntly. Lance meets his eyes, wide with terror.

Sendak smirks at him before turning to a sentry and giving him an order.

“Take him to my ship.”

Lance scrambles to his feet, intent on rushing to Keith's side to see if he's okay and to put as much distance as possible between him and Sendak, when the sentry grabs him from behind and lifts him over his shoulder.

Lance struggles, eyes tearing up as he watches his friends being taken away in different directions. But the sentry's hold on him is firm and Lance starts to cry as he's carried out of the bridge.

Fuck his pride. Fuck appearances. He's terrified, alone, and doesn't know if he'll ever see his friends again, much the less his family.

He refuses to meet anyone's eyes as he's carried through the halls and onto a different ship. Dread fills him as the sentry enters a large room and unceremoniously drops him on the floor. Lance grunts at the blunt pain of falling on his bruises, but his pain in the least of his concerns.

He's in a room. Probably Sendak's. And he still has his handcuffs on.

Resolutely, Lance waits until the sentry leaves the room to stand up and look around. He can't give up, not yet. There must be a way out of here. He's in a commander's room- surely there's an escape pod somewhere? Some cool weapon he can hide and use at an opportune moment?

So Lance walks over to what looks like a desk and tries to look through the items on top of it with his limited dexterity. Everything is in a language he doesn't understand.

Lance bites his lips and lowers himself back to the floor.

How…

How is he supposed to get out of here?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! 
> 
> First of all, thank you so much for your comments! We get so excited whenever we receive one :D 
> 
> Now, for some notes about the story:
> 
> \- As of chapter 1, Sendak is the proud owner of two healthy eyes. He does have his metal arm, though.  
\- Speaking of changes in the Galra cast, Haxus is alive! Hooray!  
\- Our update schedule is currently once a week. If there will be any changes, we'll let you know.
> 
> In the meantime, enjoy the chapter, and let us know what you think!

Hours later and the entire room a mess, Lance still hasn't found something useful. He's tired, thirsty and desperate when the unmistakable sound of the door opening comes from behind him. He turns around, heart beating loudly in his chest, and tries to make a run for it.

But Sendak effortlessly catches him, lifting Lance into the air.

“You really are the weakest among you. First to fall. Useless to fight,” Sendak says with a smirk and promptly drops Lance back down on the floor. Lance grunts and musters his courage to look back up at Sendak with a glare.

"What do you want from me?" 

Sendak huffs at the question as he starts to unbuckle his armor. Lance tenses as Sendak looms over him and winces as a sharp claw grabs his chin.

“I want to break you,” Sendak states. “You’re mine, and I will do with you as I please.”

Somehow, this position feels familiar, though Lance can't remember from where. He's glad to be sitting on the floor. Had he been standing, Lance isn't sure he would've been able to stay upright.

Break him? What? Who says that? What does it even mean?

Baring his teeth, Lance tries to yank his head out of Sendak's grasp.

"You're sick," he spits in Sendak's face once he realizes that he can't break free. "I don't belong to anybody."

Sendak grimaces and releases Lance’s face to wipe away the spit from his face.

“You do now.”

Sendak is silent for a moment before he raises his arm.

Lance flinches and closes his eyes, certain he's going to be hit just like Keith had been. He might've been inspired by Keith's actions in his moment of rebellion.

But Sendak doesn't hit him. Instead, he grabs his shoulder and drags him to the wall, connecting him to yet another chain, despite Lance's protests.

Lance glowers as Sendak leaves him there and continues to remove his armor, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Where are my friends?" Lance demands. He'd been left alone for hours. What if something had happened during that time?

“Your friends are where Emperor Zarkon placed them,” Sendak says and then pauses, turning to look at Lance.

“Did you think they escaped?” He asks in an almost pitying tone. “Your charade as paladins is over, boy,” Sendak says sharply. “You are Galra property now.”

Lance worries his lip as Sendak dashes a hope he hadn't even considered. He'd just wanted to know that his friends are still alive. That Zarkon hadn't changed his mind and decided to 'make an example' out of one of them instead of him.

But the possibility of one of his teammates escaping and then being able to rescue them all... Lance hadn't even thought of that.

Somehow that hurt even more.

He flinches as Sendak approaches him.

“I would worry less about your friends, they will be of use to the Empire. You, however, still need to prove to me that saving you was worthwhile.”

"I am a Paladin of Voltron," Lance states, stung. He stands a little straighter and narrows his eyes. "The Blue Lion chose me to be her paladin. You might have me tied up here, but I don't belong to you. I never will!"

Sendak's laugh is more unnerving than any threat, and when he walks away, Lance wonders if there was really any truth to his words.

.x.

Lance's body hurts. Everywhere. From the chilling numbness in his arms, cuffed over his head and chained to the wall, to his legs, straining to hold his weight after hours of standing. But despite his general aches and pains, what hurt the most was his throat.

And it wasn't from talking. Or, well, it was from talking. But not directly.

If Lance had control of his arms, he'd be fiddling with the stupid collar Sendak had fastened around his neck. Lance can't tell how long he's been wearing it, but it feels like years and years. From all of his chains and bonds, if he had the choice, he'd remove the collar first.

Because unlike his other restraints, the collar actively hurt him.

Whenever Lance spoke, what felt like a short electric current would painfully attack his throat. His neck muscles have constricted so many times that Lance has no idea how he's managed to keep breathing. What made it all worse was that even after the current was gone, it left a trail of painful prickling and a burning sensation that would last for hours after Lance had uttered the word that triggered it.

He'd been told quite a few times in his life that he was too loud, that he talked too much, but no one had ever been annoyed enough by his words to do something about it.

Not Sendak, though.

Lance bites his lips as Sendak walks in through the sliding doors and immediately makes his way over to him from across the room. His mouth goes dry as Sendak looms over him and wraps his clawed hand over his throat. He presses down lightly and Lance whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut.

Lance can feel Sendak fiddling with his collar before pulling his hand away. Lance's eyes snap open as his hands are suddenly released from the chain and he falls to his knees with a low groan. Sendak doesn't give him any time to recover- he immediately grabs him by his cuffs and drags him across the cold floor to the mattress Lance has learned to call his bed.

Only he hasn't been able to sleep in it, yet.

His cuffs are chained to the floor and Lance tilts his head back to look up expectantly at Sendak, wondering what the hell he wanted from him now.

It wasn't like he was allowed to ask. And Lance really wasn't in the mood for another electric shock.

Lance narrows his eyes as Sendak lowers himself to the floor and kneels in front of him, reaching out and gripping his chin.

“Are you weary, boy?” Sendak asks, voice cold. ”You know what you must do if you want sleep.”

Oh, Lance knows what Sendak wants from him. And he would rather stay up all night than have to beg Sendak for anything.

So Lance presses his lips into a thin line and says nothing.

Sendak’s mouth turn in a frown as he releases Lance’s chin.

“So be it.”

Lance warily watches as Sendak stands up and walks around the room, readying himself for sleep in what was probably a really comfortable bed. Lance wouldn't know, he hasn't even gotten to touch it.

A few minutes later, Sendak is in his bed and the lights turn off, leaving Lance to glower in the darkness.

He blinks.

Now that Sendak has settled into his bed without giving Lance another glance, he can hear a faint, ticking noise coming from someplace nearby. He looks around the room with a frown, trying to spot the source of the ticking, before he comes to the ominous realization that the sound was coming from his collar.

_What...?_

The ticking comes to a stop and Lance tenses, wondering what that meant. He's immediately given an answer when a shock of electricity shoots through his body from the collar.

Lance gasps, eyes watering in pain. Why had he been shocked? He hadn't said a word!

He looks up at Sendak's sleeping form, tempted to wake him and tell him that there was something wrong with his collar. But before he can move, Lance suddenly recalls Sendak's previous fiddling.

Was this on purpose?

Parting his lips, Lance decides to test his theory. He clears his throat.

"Hello?"

Lance whispers, trying to see if the collar would react. He flinches, ready for the second shock, but it doesn't come.

Well... At least he can talk again.

Sendak rolls over in the bed, but other than that, gives no indication that he’d heard him.

After a few shocks, Lance starts to sense a pattern. It comes about every twenty minutes or so, regardless of what Lance does. And aside from hurting like hell, Lance has realized what Sendak had done.

He can't sleep like this.

Lance doesn't know how much time has passed. Hours. He thinks he manages a few micro naps, but the cycle of shock and pain keeps him up and tires him out even more. His vision is blurry, his body is screaming at him for rest, and his skin feels like he'd been burned all over.

Lance is miserable.

He's opened his mouth a few times, Sendak's name on the tip of his tongue. But he'd always bite it back, refusing at the last minute to play into Sendak's hands. To give him what he wants. Lance tells himself he can brave this, he just needs to wait until the morning.

But then a scary thought hits him.

What if Sendak won't change the setting until he begs him for it?

Lance's stomach turns and before he can stop himself, he reaches out as far as he's able and shakes Sendak's leg.

Sendak stirs and after a minute of silence, he sits up in bed and turns to look down at him.

“What is it, boy?” Sendak asks with vague boredom in his expression.

Lance worries his lip, preparing to swallow his pride and ask Sendak to turn off the collar. He simply can't take it anymore.

But then Sendak smirks and Lance just can't. He can't let Sendak win.

"Forget it," Lance says in a thick voice and frowns, looking pointedly away.

Sendak narrows his eyes but does not say more.

Lance watches enviously as Sendak turns away and returns to sleep. He glares at him, imagining all the different ways he could murder Sendak in his sleep, when the collar eventually shocks him again.

That's it.

"Alright, fine!" Lance says loudly in between labored breaths. "You win, okay? Turn this thing off already!"

Sendak turns and sits up once more.

“No,” he states bluntly. “You know what you must do, boy. I told you this on quintent one.”

Lance grits his teeth. Sendak was really going to make him do this, huh.

Well, Lance doesn't care anymore. He'll say whatever it takes to make it stop.

"Please," Lance manages, digging his nails into his palms. "Please turn the collar off."

Hope lights up in Lance’s chest as Sendak reaches out and lifts his chin.

“You can do better than that.”

Lance's eyes tears up, a mix of fatigue, pain and frustration, and to his shame his lips start to quiver.

"What do you want from me?" He snaps, blinking away the tears. "I already said please!"

Sendak doesn’t relinquish his hold, silently watching as Lance tears up. After a moment, he pulls his hand away.

“Beg," he says, yellow eyes meeting Lance’s.

Lance flushes at the command. He's never begged for anything in his life. Not seriously. Not like this.

But if there was a good time to start, then now was as good a time as any. He'll hate himself for it in the morning, but Lance can't see himself reaching that point without some rest.

"...please," Lance sniffs. "It hurts, and I'm tired, and I just want to sleep. Please take it off. Please. I-" Lance pauses and takes a shaky breath, meeting Sendak's eyes.

"I'll be good. Please."

Sendak’s lips slowly turn into a smile. He reaches down and turns the dial on the collar.

“I will hold you to that,” he says before pulling away and returning to sleep.

Lance ignores Sendak's comment and relishes in his reward. Now that Sendak has turned the collar off, he can finally try and go to sleep. It's uncomfortable at best, but Lance manages to lie down on the thin mattress and fall asleep.

He doesn't care what will happen in the morning. Right now, he’s happy.

.x.

Lance's teeth chatter. He doesn't know what that bastard Sendak did to his suit, but whatever it was, it made him colder than he's ever been in his life. And with his arms cuffed and chained to the auditorium floor (well, that’s what the room reminds Lance of, anyway), he can't even rub his arms together for warmth. Lance is pretty sure that he's going to freeze to death, here, in front of all of these filthy Galra.

Maybe Sendak finally tired of torturing him and has decided to give the empire the public execution Zarkon had intended for Lance from the start. But if that were the case, then Lance thinks that his is the most boring execution to have ever taken place. How much fun can it be to stare for hours at a guy slowly freezing to death?

And then he thinks that maybe this isn't so bad. After all, at least he gets to see his friends again. Perhaps for the last time. But he isn't so sure how he feels about seeing them in their current state.

Lance wonders if it would've been better not to have seen them at all.

Because none of them are the people he used to recognize. Hunk and Pidge are silently sitting at tables, feet chained to the floor as they fix and program things for the impressed audience. Lance has never seen them so quiet, faces so blank. They hadn't even raised their eyes to look at him when he'd been brought into the auditorium.

Shiro and Keith each have their own roped off areas, bloodied and bruised as they fight challenger after challenger. The electric collars around their necks tell Lance that they wouldn't be able to get far should they choose to run. He should know- they look exactly like the one around his own neck.

And Allura... Perhaps her transformation was the worst of all. Lance refuses to look at the tank to his left, containing the unconscious body of the princess. There were so many tubes coming out of her and connecting to other tanks that it makes Lance's stomach turn. What the fuck did the witch do to her?

And there he'd been, feeling sorry for himself just because he's a little cold. Fuck that.

Lance raises his head and as he sees Sendak walking towards him, returning sooner than Lance would've liked. He presses his lips into a thin line and narrows his eyes.

"Looks like you're having fun," Lance says waspishly as he eyes the drink in Sendak's hand. "Didn't know you had it in you."

Sendak's lips curl into a snarl as he takes a sip of his drink.

"You'd do well to keep your mouth shut,” he warns.

Lance immediately bites his lip on reflex, waiting for the collar to do its thing. Though it didn’t automatically hurt him anymore, Sendak still controlled it. It gives Lance a bit of a leeway, being able to get a word in here and there before Sendak loses his patience and shocks him. But Lance has admittedly been talking less and less.

There’s suddenly a pained, familiar cry and Lance’s eyes widen. He tells himself not to look, but he can't help himself. He peers over Sendak’s shoulder and gasps as he sees Keith crumpled on the floor in his roped-off section, crying out again at the loud, unmistakable sound of electricity.

"Keith!"

Lance pulls at his chains frantically, taking a few steps away from the wall as he tries to get as close to Keith as possible. His throat aches with the phantom pain of his past punishments.

He’d never yelled as loudly as Keith is now, writhing on the floor in agony.

Sendak must’ve been going easy on him.

"You're monsters!" Lance yells into the crowd, drawing curious looks. "Every single one of you! You should all be ashamed of yourselves!"

There’s a sound of glass shattering and Lance finds himself pinned back to the wall by his neck.

“Silence,” Sendak hisses at him.

"Fuck you," Lance snaps back, gritting his teeth.

Sendak growls and pulls back. Lance doesn’t get to celebrate his victory, though- his collar suddenly activates and Lance screams.

The electric currents Sendak had used on him before were nothing compared to what he was getting, now. Lance's nerves are on fire and tears spill from his eyes, unchecked.

He hates this. He hates this so much. Why is this happening to him? What had he done to deserve this?

He just wants to go home.

Lance takes a shallow breath once the current stops. He keeps his mouth shut, but he makes sure to meet Sendak's gaze with as much disgust and hate as he can muster.

Sendak looks back at him with a triumphant smirk, eyes glowing brighter than usual.

Lance's shoulders slump and he eventually closes his eyes, fatigue rolling in after the sudden adrenaline rush. He can still hear his friends' screams and yells and each one wears him down.

There's nothing he can do to help them.

He's useless.


	3. Chapter 3

Lance doesn't get to socialize much. Not since his capture. The only person he gets to speak to is Sendak, and Sendak is hardly a friend he could hang out with or confide in. So the prospect of spending any length of time with another person, even if they were Galra, was very appealing.

Sendak didn’t elaborate on where they were going when he yanked Lance out of the room and down the halls of Zarkon’s ship. He thinks Sendak might be going to a meeting. Lance dreaded the very idea of being forced to sit through one of Zarkon’s meetings and to keep quiet as they spoke of destruction and murder, but to his relief, Sendak handed him off to a guard and told him to behave until he returned.

Lance wasn’t a fan of being spoken to like a dog, but any break from Sendak was worth the insult. He intends to use this opportunity to its fullest.

At first, Lance speaks at the guard, letting things off his chest. It doesn’t matter to him that the guard probably isn’t listening to him and isn’t responding- just being able to voice his thoughts and feelings without being told to shut up was therapeutic.

But then something he says, some comment about Sendak, makes the guard laugh. And that gives Lance an idea.

Sendak won't talk to him or answer any of his burning questions, but if he phrases things in a certain way, perhaps the guard will give him the information he wants.

"You're good at your job," Lance praises and tilts his head at the guard, flashing him a smile. "I'm sure you're a credit to your commanding officer."

It's difficult to tell with the Galra, but Lance is pretty sure that the guard is blushing.

"I sure am. I get loaded with a bunch of extra work, though."

Lance makes a sympathetic sound.

"That must be stressful, being so busy. Do you get any time off?"

The guard nods.

"Yeah, every now and then I go with my friends to the arena, it's a good way to take my mind off things."

Lance stiffens, but otherwise maintains his smile.

"The arena? Huh. I've never been. What do they do there, exactly? Do you have any favorite, uh, gladiator?"

Lance isn't sure if that was what the Galra called the prisoners they forced to fight, and something in his question must have tipped the guard off, as his smile disappears and is replaced with a suspicious frown. Lance scrambles to do some damage control.

"Or do you fight there?" He asks, feigning complete ignorance, though who knew, maybe that was how things worked in the arena. He bats his lashes ever so casually and offers the guard a coy smile.

"I'm sure a strong soldier like you wins matches all the time."

Before the guard can reply, however, the door suddenly opens and Sendak walks in. Lance blinks and wonders how much time has passed, but the question quickly becomes irrelevant as Sendak approaches and grabs him by his hair, yanking him away from the guard and forcing Lance to look up into his eyes.

Lance yelps and winces in pain.

“What did you think whoring yourself out would get you?” Sendak demands in a low tone.

Lance presses his lips into a thin line, but otherwise makes no show of Sendak's words getting to him. He's heard far worse from him by now.

Still, what exactly does Sendak think he was doing with the guard?

"I was just talking to him!" Lance says sourly. "Y'know, like normal human beings do?"

It only occurs to him a second later that no, Sendak wouldn't know. He isn't a human, after all.

Sendak scoffs and switches his position to grab Lance’s arm.

“You forget yourself, boy. You do as I say.”

Sendak pauses.

“I’ve been too lenient with you. Clearly," he grunts. “It’s time I show you how lucky you are to belong to me.”

Lenient? Lucky? Lance would beg to differ, but he doesn't get a chance to say anything as he's dragged by his cuffs out the door and through the halls like some animal on a leash.

One would think that he would've gotten used to being led like this by now, but Sendak walks fast and each step of his is twice the size of Lance's. He stumbles and trips and does his best just to stay on his feet.

By the time they stop, Lance looks around and realizes that he's never been in this part of the ship before. His eyes widen as he's pulled through a set of doors and enters a large hall full of-

"What- what is this place?" Lance asks, voice trembling. "Where the hell are we?"

Cubicles, boxes and moving screens litter the dark hall, though the lack of visuals did nothing to distract from the obvious use of the place. The scent of sweat and musk is enough to make Lance gag, and the cacophony of moans and the wet slide of bodies against each other brings a deep flush to Lance’s cheeks.

Though he's never done it himself, it's all too clear what was going on around them. Lance doesn't know why Sendak brought him here. He doesn't want to know. Sendak has tortured and insulted him, but surely he wouldn't-

“This is where I will send you if you do not obey,” Sendak leans down and hisses in Lance’s ear. He drags him over to a wall where a pair of legs sticking out of a hole were grotesquely wrapped around a Galra soldier, who was obviously too big for the poor creature on the other side of the wall.

Lance thinks he’s going to be sick.

“Kneel,” Sendak orders. “Kneel before your master, and I won’t send you here.”

He tilts Lance’s head up to meet his eyes.

“Now, boy. I won’t ask again.”

Lance chokes. No way was this happening. Sendak couldn't be serious. He wouldn't...?

Lance hasn't felt this scared since being faced with Zarkon and being told that he was to be killed and made an example of. His legs tremble. Death was probably better than this. He closes his eyes.

He doesn't want to be a pair of legs sticking out of a wall.

But that means that he'd have to give up.

But give up what, exactly? What does he have left? 

As much as Lance hates to admit it, he doesn't really have much to his name. His freedom is gone. His friends are scattered in their own enslavements. His family is far away on Earth, he'll never get to see them again. Voltron is defeated.

Why is he so desperately hanging onto his pride? What was the point?

Silently, Lance lowers himself to his knees, his heart in his throat. He tries to ignore the purr of approval rumbling from the back of Sendak’s throat.

A few minutes pass, Lance kneeling awkwardly in front of Sendak, the silence between them filled with lewd groans and squelching from around them. Lance starts to wonder if Sendak had gone into some sort of trance before he’s suddenly yanked back up to his feet. Lance stumbles and flinches as Sendak tilts his head up.

“When I return from battle, I expect you on your knees. When I take meals, you will be on you knees.”

Lance digs his nails into his palms.

“When I attend meetings, where shall you be?” Sendak asks, the threat in his voice thinly veiled.

Lance meets the Sendak's eyes for a fleeting moment before looking away in shame.

"On my knees," he whispers.

Sendak nods and brushes a finger over Lance’s lower lip.

“Perhaps we should begin right now,” he intones.

Lance whimpers, terrified of the mental image that enters his mind as Sendak brushes a finger against his lip and tells him to kneel. He falls back down to his knees. But when Sendak attaches his cuffs to the floor and takes a step back, Lance’s eyes widen in alarm.

“I shall expect you on your knees when I return in three vargas.”

Lance inhales sharply. Sendak is going to leave him alone? In this horrible place?

His lips quiver as he tries not to cry.

"Please, don't leave me here," Lance can't help himself and calls out after Sendak's retreating form.

"I-I'll do anything, just don't-!"

The door slams shut as Sendak leaves the hall.

.x.

Lance's body hurts from being on his knees for three hours. He can't feel his legs. But his legs aren't even on his mind. All he can focus on are the comings and goings of the Galra soldiers around him. He tries to take up as little space as possible so as not to grab anyone's attention.

But Sendak had left him chained in the middle of the establishment. Of course he was going to get attention.

He was the Blue Paladin.

No one touches him. Everyone knows who he belongs to. But that doesn't stop the soldiers from throwing lewd remarks at him as they pass by, and he still hears the sounds and cries from the prisoners in the rooms.

There was one horrifying moment when one of the soldiers stopped in front of him. Lance had looked away, but it was painfully obvious what the soldier was doing. It couldn't have been longer than a minute or two, but by the time the soldier left, there was a puddle of a foul-smelling substance on the floor in front of Lance.

So when Sendak finally returns, Lance can't help but feel grateful.

"Please," he says in a small voice as Sendak walks over to him. Sendak gives him a long look before unchaining him from the floor and pulling him to his feet. Lance’s legs buckle beneath him, numb and unable to support his weight. He stumbles into Sendak and can’t even bring himself to care when Sendak lifts him up and carries him over his shoulder back to the room. All he cares about is that he's out of that awful, awful place.

In fact, it was rather considerate of Sendak to carry him rather than drag him along like he usually does.

Lance still can't feel his legs.

When he's finally set down on the mattress that has been his bed for the past few weeks (at least, that's how long Lance thinks it's been), Lance curls up into himself. Fresh tears slide down his cheeks. He's so grateful to be back in Sendak's room. It was far from home, but it was familiar and most importantly- not that hellhole.

Still, he can’t stop trembling.

“Enough of your shaking,” Sendak says gruffly. He picks up Lance’s blanket and drapes it over Lance’s shoulders.

“You are not in there any longer,” he states firmly.

Lance sniffs and tries to stop shaking. But his body won't listen to him.

"I can't," he whispers, afraid of what Sendak will do to him for not obeying his order.

Sendak gives him what might pass as a pitying look.

“Rest,” he commands.

Lance tries, he really does, but he can't get his body to stop the shaking. He sees Sendak loom over him and scrunches his eyes shut, preparing himself for the inevitable blow. But it never comes. Instead, he's lifted into the air and falls not on the hard floor, but on Sendak's bed.

In any other situation, the sheer shock and fear would've been enough to make Lance freeze. But his shivering continues, especially after being exposed to the possibility that a Galra might take interest in him… Sexually. Is Sendak going to use him like that, now?

But Sendak only wraps his arm around him and says the most comforting words Lance has ever heard him say.

“You have learned your lesson. You needn’t fear punishment right now.”

If Lance didn't know any better, he'd think that Sendak was trying to calm him down. But that wouldn't make any sense. This was probably a new form of torture, an attempt to lull him into a sense of false security before tearing it away.

Only.... It was working. It takes a while, but once it appears that Sendak has no intention of making any kind of move on him, Lance finally allows himself to relax and appreciate the comforting weight of Sendak's arm and the soft mattress beneath him, much more comfortable than his own. He even appreciates the warmth that radiates off Sendak's body and before he can think it through, Lance inches just a bit closer, intent on feeling more of it.

He can't remember the last time he's felt so warm and safe. Not since sharing a room with Hunk at the Garrison.

Not even Sendak’s low hum of approval is enough to stop Lance from falling asleep.

.x.

The last of Lance's bruises is long gone by the time Sendak takes him to another public event. In fact, it's been a while since he's experienced any kind of real pain.

Sure, Sendak likes to pull him around instead of letting him walk at his own pace, and sometimes Sendak's nails dig a little too deeply into his skin, but otherwise?

Sendak had kept his word. Ever since Lance had learned his lesson, he didn't have to fear punishment. He’d even removed the awful electric collar from around Lance’s neck.

It seems silly, looking back, the way he used to act. He'd been so stubborn, so prideful. So stupid.

What had he been so afraid of? Kneeling? Keeping his head down and holding his tongue? Had that been worth all the pain he had to go through because he wouldn't shut up?

Things are a lot better, now. Sendak isn’t friend material, but he tolerates a certain amount of talk every day- as long as Lance is respectful. He allows Lance to sleep on his bed, to eat better food, and Sendak even got him new clothes.

They aren't exactly Lance’s style, but... Anything is better than the old prison bodysuit he'd worn before.

So, yeah. Things aren't ideal. But his current situation is so much better than anything Lance could've dreamed of a few months back.

“Well done,” Sendak murmurs and rubs a claw under Lance’s chin.

Lance preens at Sendak's praise. It'd been difficult, sitting still in Zarkon's presence during one of Sendak’s meetings when all he wanted was to throttle the emperor or run away, but he'd done it.

And Sendak recognized his efforts. There was no better feeling than being appreciated, for knowing that he had done well.

Which is why Lance doesn't question Sendak as he's led to the auditorium. He wants to maintain Sendak's good impression of him, at least for a little while, and silence was always a safe bet.

But maybe he should've asked Sendak what they were going to do there, after all. It would've prepared him for the sight of seeing his friends again.

Memories of the previous time he'd seen them flash in front of Lance's eyes and his steps falter. He looks up at Sendak uncertainly.

“Do you not want to see your friends?” Sendak stops. Lance considers the question before hesitantly nodding and allowing Sendak to guide him into the auditorium with a hand on his shoulder. He thinks nothing of kneeling next to Sendak as he takes a seat and keeps his gaze downcast, more than a little afraid of what he'll see if he looks up.

But Sendak suddenly speaks and Lance raises his gaze.

“Would you like a better view?” He offers, patting his lap.

Lance blinks. His knees _have_ been hurting a little since the long meeting, and, well... Maybe things are better this time. Maybe his friends' situations have improved as well. In which case, he’d really like to see them.

So Lance wordlessly nods and stands up, following Sendak's lead as he carefully balances himself on one of Sendak's large legs. He feels awkward and vulnerable, unsure of where to place his hands. It feels so strange. He'd never done this before. With anyone, really, not since he was a kid.

“You know, your friends have helped launch an entire new tech division,” Sendak remarks, placing his hand securely on Lance’s waist. “And the Red and Black Paladins are undefeated,” he adds, brushing a clawed finger along Lance’s side. Lance stiffens.

“As for the princess,” Sendak continues, fingers coaxing past the fabric of Lance’s shirt, “Haggar has made leaping discoveries in quintessence.”

Sendak smirks.

“Each paladin serves a purpose. And now,” Sendak says, sharp claws brushing the soft flesh of Lance’s stomach, “you finally have yours.”

Lance feels heat radiating from his cheeks as Sendak starts touching him. He's used to Sendak occasionally running his hand over his back when they're in bed and of course, the constant manner in which he likes to tilt his head up with a finger when he was speaking to him.

But intentionally baring Lance's skin and brushing against it? Now that's uncharted territory, and the words that accompany the action are highly suggestive.

Sendak's claws continue to linger on his stomach and Lance's mind reels, scrambling for a response. He doesn't know what to say. What to do. Does he like this? Is he allowed to like this? He'd been so sure- Sendak has never made this kind of advance before.

They've slept in the same bed for weeks! If Sendak really was interested in him, why hadn't he done anything before?

Maybe Lance is overthinking things. Projecting his need for comfort. Sendak is the only person he's allowed to come into contact with, it was only natural for him to jump to conclusions. Sendak was just being his smug self. There was no actual meaning behind his words. Or the hand on his stomach.

Lance wiggles a bit in Sendak's lap, hoping to signal that he'd prefer for him to move his hand someplace less... Revealing. Less vulnerable.

"My purpose is to just sit on your lap?" Lance jokes in a low voice, careful not to let any of the other Galra hear him. He wouldn't want to draw attention to himself, or to embarrass Sendak in any way.

Sendak chuckles and shifts him closer against his breastplate, leaning down.

"Oh no, no just that," He speaks low, a rumble in his chest. "Your purpose is to serve me."

Sendak’s hand moves down Lance's stomach and past the fabric of his waistband.

"And you have been serving me so well,” he adds.

Lance inhales sharply and his hands instinctively go to cover Sendak's. They grab Sendak's wrist, but Lance stops himself in time before he actually does more than that.

He'd been such a self-deluded idiot. Of course Sendak wanted him, why else would he start feeling him up? The question why it is only happening now is irrelevant. What matters is the way he's suddenly way too close to Sendak, and the hand that was about to invade his privacy in a way Sendak has yet to do.

In front of a crowd of spectators, no less.

Lance colors, high in his cheeks, as he looks around. There are a few soldiers watching them, but it was hardly a large audience.

Still.

He doesn't want this.

But what would be the consequence of refusing Sendak in public? Would he- he wouldn't send him to the Bad Place, would he?

Lance starts to consider just allowing Sendak to do whatever he wanted and suck it up when a pair of eyes seek his in the crowd. Lance's heart skips a beat as he recognizes Keith, staring at him from across the room, clarity obvious in his wide, horrified gaze.

Lance flushes and before he can think it through, he yanks Sendak's hand away and stumbles off of his lap, putting as much distance between them as his chains allow.

He can't go through with this. Not with his friends watching. Not with Keith watching.

He'd never be able to live with the shame.

But now that he looks up at Sendak, Lance's blood runs cold. He wonders if he'd made the right choice, after all.

Sendak stands up from his seat with a thunderous expression and yanks at Lance’s chain.

“And you were doing so well.”

Lance cries out as he feels electricity shock through his body, doubtlessly sent through his chain from Sendak’s metal arm. He falls to his knees next to Sendak's chair, tears streaming down his face as he's torn between silently accepting his punishment and begging Sendak for forgiveness.

It's odd how painful that one short zap was. Back when he kept resisting, a zap or two would hurt, but wouldn't be enough to make him cry like this.

Lance briefly wonders if his body was the only thing that had been hurt, but he's yanked out of his brooding when Keith suddenly lands next to him on the floor. Lance's eyes widen and he immediately reaches out, pulling Keith into a hug before anyone can stop him. Keith returns the hug.

Sendak steps in front of them.

“You appear to be fond of each other,” he observes in a cold voice. He raises his arm.

“Strike him,” Sendak turns to Keith. “Strike him. Or I will.”

Lance's grip on Keith tightens. Just a few minutes ago, Sendak's arm had been holding him gently, securely, just as it had done these past few weeks. It protected and comforted him when he slept. Seeing it suddenly raised against him, intent on delivering pain...

Lance's lips quiver.

"Leave Keith out of this," Lance demands and gives Keith one last squeeze before pushing himself to his feet in front of Sendak. He tilts his head up to meet Sendak's eyes with a stubborn frown.

"You're the one that's angry with me. You hit me. You've done it before."

Sendak’s eyes narrow.

“You will regret making that request,” he states before landing a blow across Lance’s face.

For a moment, Lance thought that Sendak would hold back. Yank him out of the room in a fit of rage, but not strike him. But that had been nothing but fanciful wishing. Sendak's blow lands squarely on his jaw and Lance falls to the floor, hands nursing the wound as he spits out blood.

He feels betrayed. And more so, stupid for feeling betrayed. What had he thought, that just because Sendak didn't hit him for a while meant that he'd never do it again? Stupid. _Stupid_.

Still, that doesn't stop him from giving Sendak a look full of hurt

Sendak turns back to Keith and repeats his command.

“Strike him, or I will.”

"You don't need to do anything, okay?” Lance speaks up and catches Keith’s gaze. “I can take it. This has nothing to do with you."

Keith bites his lip.

“He’ll hurt you,” he protests, and Sendak growls at their exchange.

“Lance,” Keith says, taking his hand and Lance shakes his head furiously, pulling away. He doesn’t want to hear whatever it was Keith was going to say. He doesn’t care if Keith thinks it would be better if he just hit him. It doesn’t matter if Keith’s punch wouldn’t hurt as much.

After fighting for his life every day in the arena, Lance doesn’t want Keith to walk away with the memory of being forced to hurt a friend.

"No. Absolutely not."

“Enough,” Sendak grumbles and strikes Lance again.

Lance grunts in pain, extending his hands to prevent his head from hitting the floor as he falls. As much as it hurts, Lance is glad that at least Keith isn't the one hurting him.

So he got hit. Big deal. He'd take a blow anytime, as long as it meant that-

“I told you what would happen if you disobey me,” Sendak says in a low tone as he crouches down in front of him, yanking Lance away from Keith’s extended hand.

Lance can feel the color drain from his face.

No more faking ignorance- Lance knows exactly what Sendak is referring to.

The shaking returns unbidden, triggered by the mere memory of that vile place.

"No, please," Lance whispers, "I'll be good, I promise! I just- everyone was looking and- I don't-"

Lance cuts himself off and falls to his knees. He knows Keith can see him and is probably ashamed of him. He isn't fighting the way Keith does. He's submitting. But- he just can't. Lance can't go back there. He'd rather take his chances in the arena.

Sendak looks down at him, expressionless, before unchaining Lance from the floor and handing him over to a sentry.

“Escort him to my ship.”

Relief spreads through Lance's system like a drug. His limbs feel heavy and he's suddenly very, very tired. He doesn't protest as the sentry takes his chain from Sendak and leads him away. He's just grateful that he's returning to Sendak's room. He could've very easily been walking in the opposite direction, towards hell.

Before he leaves the auditorium, Lance risks a quick glance over his shoulder. His throat constricts as he sees Sendak grab Keith.

He doesn't get to see what Sendak does to him- the sentry doesn't allow him to linger.

Perhaps... Perhaps it was for the best. Lance wouldn't want to witness his friend getting hurt. Especially since it was all his own damn fault. If he'd just allowed Sendak to touch him wherever he wanted, none of this would've happened.

Once the sentry pushes him into Sendak's room and locks the door behind him, Lance takes a brief moment to wash his face before hurrying to kneel in the middle of the room, the way Sendak likes.

He'd been very lucky today, considering everything that happened. If Sendak hadn't relented...

Lance shivers. He doesn't even want to think about it.

Lance holds his breath as Sendak enters the room after a few minutes. He silently watches as Sendak removes his armor before approaching him and tilting his chin.

"In one varga, you will tell me what a fit punishment would be for your insolence," he states and pulls away, leaving Lance and walking into his study.

Sendak's words confuse Lance. And anger him.

Another punishment? Wasn't hitting him enough? And what does Sendak mean? Does he really expect Lance to be able to decide on his own punishment?

Apparently he does.

Lance runs his tongue soothingly over his busted lip as he's left alone to mull over his options. What would Sendak do if Lance told him he deserved something minor, like a slap on the wrist? Would that just make things worse? Lance isn't about to suggest something severe. Certainly not a trip to the Bad Place.

Lance huffs in frustration. There was no good answer.

By the time Sendak returns, Lance is still undecided. He flinches as Sendak lifts his chin again and looks away in shame.

"What did you decide?"

"I don't understand what you expect from me," Lance mumbles. "I don't punish people, that's what you do. You should be the one making the decision."

Sendak shakes his head.

"Then it wouldn't be a punishment, if I gave it to you," he replies. "You expect it from me."

He moves his hand to rest at Lance's throat.

Lance goes completely still. With one, swift movement, Sendak could end everything. Lance often wonders why he doesn't. If he's such a nuisance to him, why does Sendak bother with him? What does Sendak get out of his constant presence?

Lance presses his lips in a thin line. He's tired of this. Of living in a state of constant fear and uncertainty. Knowing that one small mistake could lead to pain and even worse, complete debasement. Living in a world where Lance knows that he'd fucked up. He never should've sneaked out of the Garrison that night. He'll never do anything, never be somebody. He'll never see his family again.

Why is he still hanging on?

"I expect an answer. What is suitable punishment for rejecting my touch?" Sendak asks again. “For talking back?"

"You get off on this, don't you?" Lance narrows his eyes. "Well, I'm not playing your game anymore. You want to touch me? Shut me up? Then what the hell are you waiting for?"

Lance digs his nails into his palms. He can do this. Just a bit more, and Sendak will snap. And so will Lance's neck. At least, that's what he's going for.

"Go on! Spread my legs and put a muzzle on me! You're no better than any one of those soldiers at that brothel, are you?"

Sendak’s eyes widen before he growls. Lance squeezes his eyes shut, bracing himself.

Fuck, he hopes it'll be quick.

But instead of... Well, nothingness, Lance’s neck is released and he’s yanked back and chained against the familiar wall.

“If it is death you wish for, you shall never have it,” Sendak says coldly, anger in his eyes.

Lance’s eyes widen at Sendak's declaration and for a moment, panic bubbles in his chest.

But then a smirk curls his lips and he laughs.

"Oh yeah?" Lance sneers. "Something tells me we're gonna revisit this in a few years. I'm not always gonna be this fuckable, y'know."

Sendak lowers himself to Lance’s eye level and flashes him a vicious smile.

“You would be amazed with what the druids have come up with,” he intones, “especially with all that power from your princess.”

Sendak stands.

“I wonder, how will it be to watch your friends die, when you cannot. Rather painful, I imagine.”

Lance's smile vanishes, immediately replaced with a look of horror. His shoulders begin trembling.

"I'm not- you're not going to make me a cyborg like you, right? I'm not big like you, I wouldn't be able to pull it off!"

Of course, the way he'd look due to whatever evil thing the witch might do to him is the least of Lance's worries. But if he made it sound ridiculous and change the subject, then maybe Sendak will forget all about it.

Because the idea of spending eternity chained to Sendak's whims is making Lance faint. He doesn't even want to think about having to watch his friends die.

Sendak gives him a once-over.

“No, you’re too delicate to endure such a surgery,” he remarks. “I’ve had enough of your talking,” he says dismissively. “Tonight, you will sleep on your mattress.”

Lance watches as Sendak walks away, returning to his study and closing the door after him.

He swallows thickly.

Sendak couldn’t have been serious.

… Couldn't he?


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks or so have passed since the Incident, or so Lance assumes. He's pretty sure that at this point, he's invented his own time measurements. But regardless, it's been a while.

And things have been surprisingly calm.

Lance supposes that his silent treatment and cold shoulder contributed to it, but Sendak could've demanded an interaction if he'd wanted one. Instead, he allowed Lance to sulk and dwell, demoted back to his old mattress. Though it wasn't as comfortable as the bed he'd gotten used to, Lance is grateful to put as much distance as possible between him and Sendak.

Now that he knows that Sendak wants to fuck him, Lance will never be comfortable sleeping next to him.

It was a little odd that Sendak had yet to act on his desires, or to even touch him all that much, but Lance isn't complaining.

So when Sendak yanks at his chain and leads him out of the room, Lance doesn't ask where they're going. He doesn't want to engage. Or even worse, provoke. They were probably just going to another one of Sendak's boring meetings, anyway. Despite everything that has happened, Sendak hasn't stopped taking him to those.

Which was a shame. Lance's knees could use the rest.

But they don’t go in the familiar direction to Zarkon’s section of the ship.

Lance feels rather small as he's led through throngs of Galra soldiers, all clamouring to find a seat in what appeared to be a gigantic ring of bleachers. They make way once they see Sendak, but their gazes linger on Lance as well. He tries not to let them get to him. He's been stared at before.

Only... He's never been surrounded by so many Galra at once. It was unnerving.

Once he's shackled to the floor of Sendak’s private booth, it doesn't take Lance long to figure out where he is, though he's never been there before. He has a clear view of ground beneath the bleachers.

He's in the arena.

Goosebumps form on his skin as he sits silently, a million questions buzzing in his mind that he doesn't dare ask. He doesn't want to know.

When Shiro appears on the stage, Lance inhales sharply and looks up at Sendak, a question on his tongue. He thinks better of it, however, and bites it back. Instead, he focuses on drinking in the image of his leader. He hasn't seen him in a very long time.

Lance doesn't know what to expect. He knows, in theory, what prisoners do in the arena. They fight. The possibility of some being killed crossed his mind every now and then, quickly followed by a prayer that Shiro and Keith stay safe.

It's soon made very clear that Shiro, at least, does not need his prayers. Lance stares at Shiro in shock as he slices off the head of his opponent.

The Shiro he knows, they guy he looks up to, is so gentle. An excellent fighter, for sure, but not... Not a killer.

Lance's heart breaks a little. No wonder Shiro hadn't remembered anything from his time in the arena. Lance would've blocked it all out too.

Lance finally tears his gaze away, stomach queasy. He doesn't watch the second match, but he can hear every gruesome bit of it. By the time he raises his gaze again, Shiro is gone.

Keith stands in the middle of the arena, instead.

Lance's knuckles turn white as he grips his knees in trepidation. He's pretty sure his face goes white as well as he watches Keith's matches. He doesn't think he'd realized how good a fighter Keith actually was until he sees him stab another prisoner in the chest. Lance wouldn't have stood a chance against him. To think that he'd once fancied himself Keith's rival.

Lance is quite ready to leave and dwell on his friends' horrible situation when the lights shine again and Shiro enters the arena. Lance's brows furrow in confusion. What were Keith and Shiro both doing there? Surely they aren't going to-

"And now, for the match we've all been waiting for! The Champion versus the Warrior!"

Realization dawns on Lance and he immediately knows why Sendak brought him to the arena. It wasn't just to make him feel bad.

It was to see one of his friends kill the other.

Lance turns around and grabs Sendak's knee, shaking it urgently.

"You have to stop this!" He demands, voice on the verge of hysteria. "They're gonna kill each other!"

Sendak looks down at him impassively.

“Why should I? This is peak entertainment,” he leans down an unclasps Lance from the floor.

“My GAC is on your Black Paladin,” he hisses in Lance’s ear as he pulls him into his lap and forces him to watch, his flesh arm firmly snaked around Lance’s waist.

Lance struggles a bit, but he stops, knowing that it was a lost cause. There was no getting out of Sendak's grip once his arm was wrapped around him. Tears blur Lance's vision and terror swells in his chest as he watches Shiro and Keith fight.

Something was wrong. Shiro would never aim like that at Keith. It was all Keith could do to block his hits.

"Please," Lance twists in Sendak's lap to meet his gaze over his shoulder. "Please, make them stop. I know you can. You're important, they'll listen to you!"

Sendak looks down at him.

“And what will you do for me, if I save your friends?” He asks. His clawed hand brushes down Lance’s side before resting on his thigh.

Lance hesitates for a moment. He's hyper aware of every place his body meets Sendak's, from the arm around his waist to the paw on his thigh.

Is this something he can really do?

His hesitation is cut short at the sound of Keith's pained cry. Lance immediately turns to see Keith's arm covered in red. He doesn't have the time to think this through. Every second he hesitates is a possible second too late.

So Lance takes a deep breath and slowly, deliberately, turns around in Sendak's lap and straddles his thigh. Heat radiates off his face as Lance wraps his arms around Sendak's wide shoulders.

"Anything you want," he whispers before he loses his nerve.

Sendak lets out a pleased purr. He shifts his hand and rests it on Lance’s backside.

“Good boy.”

Lance bravely tries to ignore the hand on his ass, even as he's shifted into the crook of Sendak's arm as he's lifted into the air and carried around by that same hand. He decides to focus on Sendak's breastplate instead. The fact that it allowed him to hide his shamed flush and cool his cheeks was a nice bonus.

It was odd, being carried like this by Sendak. The closest he's ever gotten to it was being hauled over his shoulder. This is far more intimate.

Lance bites his lip. He guesses he'll have to get used to it. At least he isn't stumbling over his own feet anymore.

Sendak carries him over to the announcement booth and grabs the remotes to the shock collars on Shiro and Keith’s necks. Just in time, too- Lance inhales sharply as Shiro hovers above Keith, ready to make the killing blow. They both fall to the floor, unconscious, once Sendak presses on the remote to activate their collars.

“See,” Sendak shifts Lance so that he can see what was going on down below.

The panic ebbs from Lance’s chest as he watches Shiro and Keith being carried out of the arena, unconscious but alive, to the sound of booing from the bleachers.

This is his doing. He saved them. For once, he'd done something useful for the team.

Even though it came at a heavy personal cost.

“They will live to fight another day,” Sendak says in his ear, “but you- your fighting is over,” Sendak firmly adds. “Their lives depend on it, hm?”

Lance swallows thickly and nods.

Now that others' lives depended on him, Lance won't step out of line. He attempts to compose himself on the way back to Sendak's room. He doesn't want to cry again. The last thing Lance wants is for Sendak to think that he isn't making an effort and to take his anger out on one of the other paladins.

It's as if a new world of horrible possibilities has been discovered, rendering Lance mute and pliant.

He'd been willing to risk his own life, but Lance refuses to indirectly harm any of his friends. His pride and comfort just aren’t worth it. It wasn't like he was being thrown into an arena and forced to fight for his life. Lance really needs to remember that.

Still, comparing himself to Shiro and Keith doesn't slow his accelerated heartbeat as he's set down on Sendak's bed.

Sendak looms over him and rubs the pad of a finger against Lance’s cheek, catching a stray tear.

“If you behave, I will grant you a meeting with one of your friends,” Sendak promises.

Lance takes a deep breath and forces a smile. Even Sendak's generous offer can't calm his nerves, despite being excited by the prospect.

"I will," Lance promises. "Thank you."

Sendak gives him a long look before straightening and walking away.

Lance props himself up on his arms and watches nervously as Sendak walks into the bathroom. Is he going to wash up before... This? Lance supposes he should be grateful.

But Sendak returns far too quickly for him to have bathed and he swiftly lifts Lance into his arms. Lance's eyes widen as he's carried into the bathroom and set down next to a beautiful bath filled to the brim with hot, steaming water.

He’d never been allowed anywhere near the bath before. Sendak usually sent him away with a sentry to hose him down when he was deemed to be too dirty.

Fuck. He's desperately missed hot water. And baths. This was for him? Truly?

“Disrobe,” Sendak commands and Lance finds that he doesn’t care if Sendak sees him naked. Not if meant climbing into that amazing bath.

Lance grabs the bottom of his shirt and starts to pull it off when he remembers the cuffs on his wrists, connecting him to the chains. He releases his shirt and looks down at his hands uncertainly before presenting them to Sendak.

If Sendak wanted him to be able to take off his clothes, the cuffs would have to go.

Lance holds his breath as Sendak stares down at his hands in a contemplative silence. He's about to lower his arms in defeat when Sendak surprises him by taking his hands and releasing them from the cuffs.

Lance raises his hands and looks at his wrists in awe. Had he been spending time in the sun, he's sure there would've been impressive tan lines. But his skin looks more or less the same, perhaps a little dirtier than the rest of his arm. His wrists certainly feel lighter now without the cuffs and chains.

He's pulled out of his reverie by Sendak's touch, reminding him that his newfound freedom came with a price. Lance looks away and shivers slightly as Sendak's hands brush against his chest as he helps him with his shirt.

Lance exhales and tells himself that it isn't such a big deal as he pulls down and steps out of his pants and underwear. So he's naked. So what. He's showered with other guys before at the Garrison.

But as he looks up at Sendak, he wraps his arms around himself self-consciously. Sendak was staring at him. The other guys at the Garrison never looked at him like that, at least not when he was looking.

A thought crosses Lance's mind that maybe Sendak doesn't like what he sees. Lance doesn't know how to feel about that possibility.

On the one hand, if Sendak isn't attracted to him, then he wasn't going to touch him anymore.

But on the other hand... What if that means that Sendak won't intervene the next time one of Lance's friends was in danger? Lance wouldn't have anything to offer him. What if Sendak loses interest in him completely and starts hitting him again- or worse, sends him to the Bad Place?

Lance bites his lip and anxiously waits for Sendak's next order. Normally he'd try to laugh off his vulnerability, but he can't, now. Not when there is so much at stake.

Still, old habits die hard, and Lance finds himself offering Sendak a small, shy smile. He needs some kind of reassurance, goddamit.

Sendak steps forward and touches Lance’s bare shoulder.

Lance swallows nervously.

“Go on,” Sendak nods to the tub and turns Lance to face the steaming water. “Get in.”

Lance is surprised at how gentle Sendak is as he guides him to the tub. Though he hadn't commented on Lance's nudity and Lance isn't able to read his stoic expression, Lance thinks Sendak likes what he sees.

If Sendak didn’t, Lance doubts he would be allowed this luxurious bath.

And as Lance steps inside, he sees that it really is so. An absolute luxury. A low, unintentional moan escapes him as he sinks into the warm water and closes his eyes.

He never wants to get out.

Lance hears the sound of something dragging across the floor, a stool perhaps, and his eyes snap open as he feels a hand on the back of his neck. But when nothing else happens, he closes his eyes again and takes a deep breath, basking in the way the warm water soothed his sore muscles. A part of him wishes he could just float away...

Or swim. The tub was rather big. Lance wonders of Sendak would let him move around, stretch his arms and legs, feel the water between his fingers. He hums a little as Sendak fills a bowl and pours the warm water over his head. If Lance didn't know any better, he'd say that Sendak was pampering him.

Wondering how far Sendak was willing to go, Lance looks over his shoulder at Sendak and tilts his head.

"Do you have any soap I could use?"

Lance isn't going to ask about lotions. He doubts Sendak even knows what they are.

Sendak pauses and sets the bowl down at Lance’s question. With a grunt, he stands and opens an illuminated cabinet with a flick of his finger. He pulls out a strange orb and what Lance can identify as a comb.

He looks curiously at the illuminated cabinet. It was pretty, all lit up like that. It reminds Lance of those vanities stars in Hollywood use. The mental image of Sendak as a movie star makes Lance giggle and he has to cover his mouth less Sendak hear him.

He accepts the weird orb and after a few prods, manages to open it. Lance looks at the clear liquid gel and wonders if it was meant for his hair or for his body. He looks between Sendak and the gel before shrugging and applying it on both.

With all the fur Galra bodies have, Lance thinks he can safely assume he can use it for both, as abhorrent as it feels.

Still, using the same product for his hair and his body was better than staying dirty.

“Is this calming you?” Sendak’s voice breaks the silence.

"Mhm," Lance hums as he rubs the gel over his arms, paying special attention to his sore wrists.

"I love water. Hot, cold, tub, pool, sea- you name it. I'd live in water if I could."

Sendak dips the bowl back into the water and pours it over Lance’s head.

"I see,” he says. "I shall have a pool installed in the rec room,” Sendak adds, "so you may use it when you have earned my trust." He reaches out and scrubs suds into Lance's hair, massaging his scalp with his claws.

Lance's eyes widen and he wants to turn around to see if Sendak was just pulling his leg (though that would mean that the guy had a sense of humor, which Lance is pretty sure he doesn't), but Sendak's hands are in his hair, keeping him in place.

So Lance sinks a little into the water and closes his eyes as he simply basks in the heat and Sendak's sedating touch.

Who knew Sendak could give a good head massage?

"I'd like that," Lance says quietly and slowly feels himself drifting off. Between the water and Sendak's touch, it was only a matter of minutes before everything faded away.

Lance doesn't know how long he slept. He doesn't even remember falling asleep.

One moment he was in the tub, surrounded by water, and now he's on a bed, curled up against something soft and warm. For a second, Lance thinks he'd fallen asleep on his sister's bed again and had grabbed one of her large stuffed animals in his sleep.

Lance groans softly as he tries to fall back asleep, curling closer against the soft heat and nuzzling its fur.

_Fur._

Lance's eyes flash open and he freezes as he meets Sendak's very close gaze.

He'd been nuzzling Sendak.

Fuck.

Sendak narrows his eyes for a brief moment before shifting. A deep flush colors Lance's face as he's maneuvered into Sendak's lap like a rag-doll. He's still naked, which he supposes shouldn't be an issue as Sendak has officially seen every part of him now, but still. He feels vulnerable, completely undressed while in Sendak's hold, pressed against him.

"Did you sleep well?" Sendak asks.

Being naked and not in control was a little scary. Scratch that, it was very scary. But Lance had agreed to this. And he has to follow through. So he raises his (still free, what an amazing feeling) arms and hesitantly sets them on Sendak's shoulders.

"Yeah, I guess," Lance admits. "The bath was... Really nice. Thank you."

Maybe now he'll get to bathe more often. Especially if Sendak wanted to fuck him.

Sendak nods and cups his hand against Lance's waist, looking down.

"There will be other rewards. If you behave yourself,” he states.

Lance wants to pull away, to cover himself up and go back to sleep and hopefully never wake up. But that just wasn't going to happen. So he tells himself to focus on the supposed rewards he has to look forward to for selling his body.

Because that's what it feels like he's doing. His consent for his friends' safety. Any reward was paltry in comparison.

But... At least Sendak granted him this choice, the small leverage that he had left. He could easily force him, with Lance's best efforts to push him off barely leaving a scratch. Yet Sendak decided to let Lance trade for it, receiving something in return.

And... Things haven't been all that bad since Lance agreed to submit. Sendak has been rather nice, now that he thinks about it. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad, after all.

But Lance still has his reservations. After all, he knows what Sendak is capable of. The hand that was currently cupping his waist had punched him square in the jaw numerous times. It could happen again, very easily.

"What kind of rewards?" Lance asks, forcefully derailing his chain of thought. Now wasn't the time to think of all the ways Sendak could hurt him.

Lance forces himself to stay still as Sendak's eyes roam between his legs and then moves Lance to straddle his thigh. It takes a lot of willpower not to flinch when Sendak cups his ass. He isn't- Lance isn't read for this kind of intimacy. With anyone. Certainly not Sendak. Whatever happened to buying him dinner, first?

Lance wonders if the bath had been Sendak's version of a date. God, he's being ridiculous. This was not a normal situation and Galra don't date. Or did they? Suddenly, Lance wants to know.

"As you know, if you behave, I will allow you certain freedoms. The pool will be one such area,” Sendak explains. "Earthling possessions have found their way into space as well, I can acquire them for you. And if you prove yourself, I shall allow you to see one of your friends.”

"I-I do wanna see Hunk," Lance admits. He wants to see everyone, but he hasn't interacted with Hunk at all since that awful day they were all captured. He needs to talk to his best bud.

"How do I, uh, 'prove' myself?"

Sendak shifts and sets him down upon the bed. Lance turns his head to bury his face in the clean sheets, completely exposed. He can't meet Sendak's eyes, not like this. It's too embarrassing. He's being treated like- like some doll. A delicate sex doll that could break at the slightest touch.

Unfortunately, Lance suspects he's exactly that.

"You obey me," Sendak drawls, "and I will tell you what you must do to prove yourself."

"Okay," Lance says reluctantly, voice muffled by the bedding.

Sendak nods and Lance's breath hitches as Sendak's hand travels down the length of his body. He stills as he feels a finger brush against his thigh and his knees jerk, but Lance forces his legs to stay open. He can't afford Sendak to get the impression that he's rejecting him again.

"Tell me,” Sendak pauses his exploration. "What is your body capable of? What do humans do to emit pleasure?" He brushes a thumb against Lance's inner thigh. "I do not wish to hurt you," he pauses, "Lance.”

When he hears his name, Lance's eyes widen and he turns his head to look at Sendak. That... This is the first time Sendak has ever used it.

Lance studies Sendak's face and worries his lip as he measures Sendak's sincerity. Sendak hasn't had an issue with hurting him before. What had changed?

Still, as embarrassing as it was, it couldn't hurt to explain to Sendak about human anatomy.

So Lance slowly exhales and carefully takes Sendak's paw in his hand. When he doesn't meet any resistance, Lance guides it to his chest.

"Biologically speaking, there are two kinds of humans. Male and female," Lance starts. "Male bodies are, uh, capable of impregnating female bodies, and female bodies are capable of carrying and giving birth. I'm a man," Lance states, almost a reminder to himself. "So I can't get pregnant or anything. Guess you don't have to worry about that, huh?"

Lance offers Sendak a nervous smile.

Sendak frowns.

"I suppose so,” Sendak says as he pulls back onto his knees, looking down at Lance with open curiosity.

"And have you been with another?" He asks, taking one hand and spreading Lance's legs.

Lance makes an unfortunately high pitched sound that reminded him of Allura's mice as Sendak spreads his legs. His hands fly to his face and he covers it, feeling the heat radiating against his fingers.

Ugh. Why is Sendak drawing this out? Can't he just fuck him and get it over with?

"I- well," Lance stammers, trying his best to ignore the ogling, "I had a girlfriend in 11th grade and we made it to second base, but I dunno if you'd count that," Lance huffs. "It's not like I was striking out or anything!" He quickly amends. "I was just really busy with school, okay? And the Garrison is practically a full-time job. Almost nobody hooks up there!"

Which was a blatant lie. But it wasn't like Sendak could go and verify it for himself.

Sendak makes a rumbling sound from the back of his throat that Lance thinks might be a laugh.

"Mhm,” Sendak says before brushing the pad of his finger against Lance's length.

Lance gasps and his body is immediately torn between pulling away from Sendak's touch and spreading his legs even wider. The latter eventually wins out as Sendak continues to rub him, his large finger big enough to cover most of Lance's length at any given time.

It was a strange yet undeniably good feeling and Lance whines, squirming as he fights his embarrassment. He hadn't really had the chance to touch himself since his capture, and the sudden arousal Sendak draws from his body is confusing.

Does this mean that he likes this? Likes Sendak touching him?

But it was wrong. Sendak is the enemy. He shouldn't be enjoying this.

Sendak suddenly stops and pulls Lance’s hands down, pinning them to his stomach.

"I wish to see your face," he states.

Lance moans, having reached the point where all he can focus on is Sendak's touch and his need to cum. It doesn't take long for him to release all over his stomach and Sendak's fingers. It'd been a long time.

Lethargic from his orgasm, Lance doesn't protest when Sendak flips him over onto his stomach. But he snaps back into focus as he feels Sendak squeeze his ass. Lance inhales sharply and grips the sheets, shivering in fear.

He can tell himself that this isn't a big deal all he wants. But now that Sendak is going to fuck him, it's all Lance can do to keep himself from hyperventilating.

It's going to hurt. He just knows it will. This isn't natural. Humans aren't meant to sleep with Galra. His body is going to break. He'd joked with Hunk a couple of times about wanting to ride a dick so large it could split him into two, but he'd never meant it literally.

And there's no doubt in his mind that Sendak is huge. How could he not be? The guy was practically a giant.

Sendak stops and leans down, pressing his furred body against Lance's shivering form.

"I shall not take you this quintent,” he promises before slowly flipping Lance back onto his back. "Your body will need much preparation if you are to please me properly."

Sendak lifts Lance's chin.

“If you do not fight me on this, I shall see about a visit with the Yellow Paladin." He moves his hand to rest on Lance’s thigh. "I will ensure you are properly prepared for this,” he states, matter of fact.

Lance's body sags in relief, though he frowns in confusion at the mentioning of being prepared. Somehow, Lance doesn't think Sendak is talking about fingering him.

"Prepare me?" Lance asks dubiously. That sounded ominous. "What do you mean?"

Sendak curves his hand against Lance's throat.

"I do not expect questions," He says stiffly before slipping his hand underneath Lance and returning him to his lap. He shifts and lays against the bed. "If you are to serve me, you must be prepared properly. I will have the druids examine you to asses any necessary changes."

Lance doesn't like the sound of that. At all. He doesn't know who the druids are, but if they're capable of making... Changes, whatever that meant, then Lance doesn't ever want to see one.

"I don't- I don't want to change," Lance protests. He steels himself before reaching down between them to snake his hand down to Sendak's crotch. He spreads and presses his palm against it and his eyes widen. Fuck. The tunic Sendak wore did nothing to hide his size.

"I... I can do other things," Lance says in a small, uncertain voice. He's so out of his depth he winces at how pathetic he sounds. "Please. Don't give me a robot arm like Shiro's."

Sendak grunts and unclasps his tunic.

Lance openly gapes as he's given an eyeful of Sendak. He... No. It was impossible. He knew Sendak was big, but nothing could prepare him for the monster he's practically pressed against. Lance immediately pulls his hand away and continues to stare blankly at Sendak's cock.

No. Just... No.

He's forced to tear his gaze away when Sendak grabs his chin.

"You are weak. Breakable. I did not do all of this," Sendak waves his free hand, "for my prize to be broken with such little force. You are under the impression that this is a choice- it is not. And if you do not accept it, I shall bar you from seeing your friends."

Sendak pauses.

“But they will see you. How I've broken you. Pitiful Blue Paladin."

Lance flinches at the stupid name, not sure why it hurt him so much. Maybe it had to do with the fact that the guy who had just told him he doesn't want to hurt him was now going on about how he wants to break him.

Lance knew Sendak couldn't be trusted.

"I'm not pitiful," Lance snaps. Anger burns in his throat. "And if you want to fuck me so badly then you should be the one going to the druids. Get a reduction or something."

Sendak snorts and presses his lips to Lance's throat.

“Mm," he hums, "but that will not be happening, and your lip is enough to convince me you have not earned the right to see any of the paladins."

Lance yelps as he suddenly finds himself on his side with Sendak pressed up against him from behind. He squeezes his eyes shut and curls his hands into fists as Sendak rocks his hips, rubbing his cock all over Lance's ass and the back of his thighs. Tears sting his eyes and he grabs a nearby pillow, holding it close for comfort.

"You are mine,” Sendak reminds him. "If I say you are pitiful, that is what you are."

Sendak nips at his skin and grins.

"You look at my charitableness and mock me. Perhaps I should take you as you are. You will recover. Eventually,” Sendak states, rolling his hips again.

Having Sendak rut against him isn't painful, technically speaking, but it was humiliating what with the way Sendak is treating him. Lance is just being used. And apparently Sendak cared so little for his well being that he was actually considering entering him.

Lance briefly wonders if it was worth the pain. As long as somebody didn't mess around with his body.

But Sendak rolls his hips again and Lance shakes. Nope. There was no way that was going to fit in him.

"What did I ever do to you," Lance mumbles in a thick voice, fingers digging into the pillow. He refuses to cry.

Sendak pauses and sighs, resting his lips against Lance’s ear.

"You continue to insist as though I have a vendetta against you, boy. I do not. You are mine, and still, you refuse to yield." He reaches hand to widen Lance's legs. "You are what I give you. I am Galra, boy, and you are my prize. You can protest and cry and it will not change your task." Sendak nips at Lance’s skin.

"Next quintent, I shall send you to the druids. And you will smile as I do it. Or I will take you, right here, right now."

Lance opens his mouth to object, to swear that he'd sooner go to the Bad Place than willingly have his body changed, modified, just so that he could take Sendak's cock. But just then Sendak moves and with Lance's leg hitched up, he's terrified into silence that Sendak was actually going to enter him.

But no. Sendak's cock slides between his thighs and presses against the underside of Lance's length. Lance makes a small sound of surprise that quickly turns into pleasure as Sendak moves again, brushing against his still sensitive flesh. The friction and weight of Sendak thrusting between his legs is enough to coax Lance back into hardness.

He supposes it really has been a long time.

Lance considers his options and decides to hold his tongue as Sendak takes his pleasure, opening his mouth only to begrudgingly voice his own. Maybe if Sendak saw that he can still use Lance's body to cum, just the way it was, he'd drop the whole changing business.

By the time Sendak does so, spreading his sticky cum all over Lance’s thighs, Lance is recovering from his third orgasm that night. He shivers and doesn’t object as Sendak wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him close. He’s exhausted, utterly spent.

When he closes his eyes this time, he doesn’t have the energy to worry about the next time he’ll open them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delayed update! We hope you enjoyed the chapter ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are with chapter five, on time this week ;) Enjoy, and don't forget to comment! We gobble them up!

When Lance opens his eyes, it takes a few minutes for things to snap into focus. He groans and slowly forces himself to sit up on the bed. Fuck, he feels like he'd been drugged. Or maybe this was what deep sleep felt like and he just doesn't remember. Either way, he hasn't slept this well in ages.

His body shakes a little as he moves.

Oh. Right. He'd blacked out after Sendak milked the last of way too many orgasms in a row from him. No wonder his body is still so sensitive.

....and sticky.

Lance looks down at his lap and wrinkles his nose. His stomach, crotch and thighs are absolutely filthy, covered with his own cum and something a lot thicker and clumpy. Lance gags at the smell.

Ugh. _Gross_. He needs to wash ASAP.

Looking around the room and noting Sendak's obvious absence, Lance takes the opportunity to carefully climb off the bed and walk on his jelly legs to the bathroom. It takes a few tries, but he finally manages to figure out how to turn on the water in the shower. It's freezing cold and for the life of him Lance can’t figure out how to switch it to hot.

Whatever. Maybe if he finishes quickly and dries off, he can sneak back into the bed and sleep a little longer without Sendak being any the wiser.

And even if Sendak happens to catch him cleaning off... Well, why would he be opposed? It's not like he's taking a luxurious bath or anything. He's just getting rid of Sendak's mess.

Lance is in the middle of congratulating himself on a stealth mission well done as he walks back towards the bed, when the doors slide open with a hiss. He freezes and ever so slowly turns his head back to look at Sendak, feeling very much like a deer caught in the headlights.

Great. Just perfect. And he'd been so close, too.

Lance crosses his arms over his chest and shivers as he turns to fully face Sendak. He wonders if he'll ever get to dry off. His eyes are drawn to the large, heavy-looking bag slung over Sendak's shoulder. He doesn't like the looks of it.

"...what's that?" Lance nods expectantly at the bag, hoping to distract Sendak from the obvious sign of the recent liberty he'd taken.

Sendak gives him a long look and lets the bag drop. He huffs and reaches out to take Lance's arm.

"Sit," he nods to the bed.

Relief floods Lance's system and he's quick to obey, sitting down on the bed and curling his arms around his legs as he pulls them to his chest for warmth. He watches as Sendak pulls out a tunic made of a blue, shimmering fabric with gold chains. It was beautiful.

And very, very see-through.

"You will wear this in my chambers,” Sendak explains.

Lance looks at the tunic dubiously.

"It's very pretty," Lance says slowly, not wanting to rouse Sendak's anger. "But, uh, I don't think it'll cover much. Can't I just wear what I was wearing before?"

Sendak's grip on the tunic tightens and he shakes his head.

“This is not a request. I am giving you some modesty in my chambers. I can very easily take it away. You will wear nothing."

Sendak moves to return the tunic into the bag.

"What?" Lance startles and quickly reaches out to grab Sendak's arm. "No, wait, I-I'll wear it," Lance promises and bites his lip. He hadn't realized that walking around naked was going to be his default. He'd take a million sheer fabrics before resorting to that.

Sendak smiles.

“Good,” he says as he hands Lance the tunic.

"But I'll get to wear something else when I'm out of the room, right?" Lance asks nervously. "I mean... You don't want everyone to see me like this, do you?"

Sendak doesn’t immediately answer. When he does, it’s with a shake of the head, much to Lance’s relief.

"No, I have another, more modest outfit for you to wear outside my ship quarters."

Sendark turns to pull out another tunic from the bag.

Lance fears that Sendak's definition of modest would not match his own, and indeed, the outfit that Sendak pulls out couldn't be described as such. But it certainly covered up enough to maintain his dignity. Whatever little was left of it.

Lance nods.

"Okay," he accepts, though it wasn't like he was really being given a choice. He looks down at the tunic in his hands and wonders if he should try it on now. A part of him is excited to wear something so pretty that looks so expensive, especially after being reduced to prison garb and simple, loose clothes for the longest time.

But he's still wet and cold and really just wants to go back to sleep in Sendak's bed.

"This looks like it cost a small fortune," Lance murmurs as he runs his fingers over the soft fabric. He raises his eyes to look up at Sendak, suddenly a little shy. Why would Sendak spend so much money on him?

Sendak meets Lance's gaze and sets the other tunic down before reaching out and cupping Lance's cheek.

"You are an investment."

An investment. What an.. Odd way of describing his predicament. Lance wonder what exactly he's supposed to give Sendak in the long run that was worth 'investing' in him. Was he planning on selling him?

Sendak tucks a stray wet lock behind Lance's ear then gently lifts him up.

"You did not use the towel, boy," he chastises as he carries Lance back into the bathroom and tucks him into a warm towel. "I cannot have you sick.”

Lance shakes away his morbid thoughts and focuses on the warm towel tucked around him. He hums contently and doesn't even mind Sendak carrying him all around the room. He could easily walk, but this was a lot more comfortable, especially with the way his body was still sore. When Sendak sets him back down on the bed, he immediately crawls under the covers, towel and all, and rests his head on the nearest pillow.

If Sendak would allow it, Lance wouldn't mind sleeping the day away. Or the rest of his existence if this was going to be his new life.

Lance groans in protest as he's suddenly pulled upright.

"Drink this," Sendak orders, pulling out a vial and popping off the cap. He presses it to Lance's lips. "Then you may sleep,” Sendak offers in return.

Lance looks down unhappily at the vial and narrows his eyes suspiciously at the glowing substance.

That didn't look safe.

"Is this your way of poisoning me without me realizing you do actually want to kill me?" Lance mutters before yanking the vial out of Sendak's hand and downing it.

"Because that's fine by me."

Sendak lets out a snort of amusement. He reaches out and wipes away a drop from Lance's chin.

"You should know by now, I will never let you die,” he reminds him as he pulls the towel away and lets the blanket fall back on Lance's shoulders, letting him back down onto the bed.

Lance scowls into the pillow, wondering what the hell that glowing, tasteless stuff had been. As he waits for sleep to claim him, however, the scowl slowly disappears and is replaced with a morose lethargy. For some inexplicable reason, he feels... Lonely.

He can't fall asleep like this.

So Lance sits up and looks around the room, eyes searching for his caretaker. When he finally finds him, exiting his study, Lance climbs out of the bed and walks over to Sendak purposefully. He's quick to grab Sendak's flesh arm and squeezes it against his chest, hoping that might fill the emptiness.

It does not.

Pursing his lips, Lance tugs on Sendak's arm with a distressed sound, intent on leading him to the bed. He doesn't know why or how he knows this, but Lance just knows that he won't be able to sleep until someone is right next to him in bed. And as Sendak is his only option for company, he wasn't about to take no for an answer. Lance really wants to sleep.

He closes his eyes and sighs contently as Sendak obliges him and climbs into the bed, slipping behind him and pulling him close. Perfect.

But something still isn't right. Lance opens his eyes and frowns before it dawns on him what he must do.

With one swift movement he turns around to face Sendak and wraps his arms and legs around him, pressing as close to him as possible. He buries his face in Sendak's fur and finally, finally, a satisfied smile curves his lips.

Lance hums as Sendak rubs his back. He thinks he could spend the rest of his life like this. There's a hand on his ass that Lance vaguely registers as it squeezes him, but he can't bring himself to care. He's never been this comfortable in... Ever.

This is _so_ nice. He never wants to move again.

"So soft..." Lance mumbles against Sendak's chest and gives a small, happy sigh. "Smells good. I wanna smell good too."

Sendak turns and pulls Lance on top of him, nipping his neck.

"Mm, and what do you propose to do to smell good like me?" He asks teasingly.

Lance decides that he likes this position a lot better, lying on top of Sendak. Far more comfortable. So good. It was like having his own warm, fur bed. He runs his fingers through it absently as he simply enjoys the proximity.

"M'gonna use your shampoo," Lance says decisively and then giggles. "And your conditioner!"

Sendak tilts his head.

"I do not know what those things are," he states but smiles. "But I will get them for you."

He purrs as Lance rubs his fingers against his chest.

Lance's eyes light up and he props his chin up on top of Sendak's chest to meet his eyes with an excited smile.

"Really?" He gasps. "Can I also get body lotion? And face masks? And an exfoliator? I want to be just as soft as you!" Lance declares and snuggles a little closer, rubbing his cheek against the fur he was so enamored with.

Sendak pauses his touches and looks down at Lance.

"I will ensure we find what you need," he says after a moment, resuming his brushes against Lance's skin.

"Oh my god, for real?" Lance practically squeals and squeezes Sendak's chest in as tight a hug as he can manage. He's so happy, he can feel the giddiness practically begging to spill out of his chest.

"You're the best," Lance states and flops back down, weariness returning full force. "Just you wait, I'm gonna be soooo pretty."

Sendak's gaze soften and he brushes a finger through Lance's hair.

“Sweet one," he says gently, “you are already very pretty."

Lance's cheeks grow dark with heat. He doesn't know what he likes better, the compliment or the endearment. Both. Yes. He likes both.

Finding it difficult to bite back his smile, Lance grins and decides that there's one last thing he wants to do before going to sleep. He slides up Sendak's body and hovers over his face for a second before dipping down and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

"You're pretty too," Lance says with glee before lowering himself back down on top of Sendak and humming as he finds a warm, comfortable spot in the crook of Sendak's neck. He closes his eyes and promptly falls asleep.

.x.

When Lance wakes, he doesn't open his eyes at first. He's far too comfortable. Warmth envelopes him from all over and he considers just going back to sleep. But his head starts to hurt a little, a constant throbbing in his temples, and he opens his eyes with an irritated huff.

Only to find himself completely engulfed in Sendak's embrace.

Lance's eyes widen and his mind goes blank as he tries to remember what the hell happened that led him to this moment. His memories slowly come back, unraveling the mystery one horrifying recollection after the other.

By the time Lance remembers the kiss, his head isn't the only thing that's hurting. He thinks he's going to be sick.

What the fuck had happened? What the hell possessed him to act that way, to say those things, to-

Lance blinks.

Of course.

The not-poison.

Lance struggles against Sendak's hold, trying to free himself with every bit of his being. But, of course, there was no moving Sendak's arm unless it wanted to be moved. He collapses back on Sendak with a disgruntled 'uumph'.

Sendak cracks open his eyes.

"Is there somewhere you need to be?" He asks, sleep still full in his throat. He chuckles. "Cease your squirming,” Sendak adds, lowing his hand to rest on Lance's hip.

Lance makes a frustrated noise and renews his efforts to push away.

"I can't believe you drugged me!" He grits his teeth. "I'm never drinking that stupid sparkly thing ever again!"

Sendak lets out a laugh.

"You enjoyed every bit of it," he says, adjusting his hold as Lance almost slips through his grasp. "And you will drink that... 'Stupid sparkly thing,' or your surgery will not yield results anyone would like."

He catches Lance’s gaze.

"Cease your squirming, boy,” he repeats.

"You took advantage of my moment of weakness!" Lance protests and after one last attempt, stops trying to escape Sendak's hold. It was making him dizzy.

"And I'm not getting surgery," he adds, though in a more reserved tone as he tries to focus on keeping his last meal down. Who knew what Sendak would do to him if he got sick over him.

Lance doesn't want to find out.

Sendak sighs. He sits up and sets Lance firmly in his lap.

"You are,” he states.

The sudden movement triggers in Lance a wave of nausea and when Sendak momentarily loosens his hold on him to reach for something, Lance scrambles to the edge of the bed and empties the contents of his stomach on the floor in one painful gasp after the other. By the time he's done, his body is shaking with the effort and tears sting in his eyes.

He'd made a mess. And now Sendak was going to punish him.

Sendak reaches for him with a grunt and lifts Lance up. He carries him to the bath and begins to fill the tub. He glances down at Lance.

"I will not punish you for things you cannot control, boy,” he says.

Lance sniffs as he's placed in the tub. The warm water quickly engulfs him in its comforting heat and Lance bites his lip. He feels disgusting and can still taste the bile on his tongue. This was all just one big mess. All because of the stupid drug Sendak gave him.

He relaxes a little at Sendak's statement, but he's still too wound up to truly calm down and enjoy the luxury of the bath.

"Then will you stop giving me that glowing poison?" Lance asks, allowing himself a bit of hope. "My body doesn't seem to like it."

Sendak sighs.

"No, you require it for successful treatment," he repeats. "I will, however, lessen the dosage. That should help with the stomach queasiness,” he adds.

Lance is startled out of his disappointment by the sudden presence of Sendak in the tub. For a moment, he wonders what he should do, if he's expected to move. But Sendak answers his unspoken question by pulling him close.

Lance doesn't feel up to resisting, so he allows it. At least, that's what he tells himself. It wasn't like he actually enjoyed being next to Sendak. Nope.

"Try to relax," he coaxes and gently tucks Lance against him.

Lance is drawn out of his contemplation by words he never thought he'd hear coming from Sendak's mouth.

"When you," Sendak clears his throat, "before, you spoke of 'shampoo and conditioner.' What are those things?" He asks.

Lance is reminded of the moment he requested those items and his face blooms with shame. He'd called Sendak's fur soft. And while it was true.... Ugh. He'll never live it down.

"Shampoo and conditioner are two different products humans use to clean their hair," Lance clears his throat and clarifies. "We have different products for each part of the body, and each one does something else."

Sendak nods slowly and reaches down to cup Lance’s face.

"In a few quintents, if you are behaved, I will take us to fetch these things for your body,” he says before reaching for an orb and squeezing it over his chest. He rubs it slowly into his fur and then draws Lance in close.

Lance nods and looks away. He won't be holding his breath. They both know the drill- Sendak makes promises, does something utterly objectionable, and then takes back his promise when Lance reacts accordingly. He'll never see anything from Earth again. Lance feels a dull ache in his heart.

He doesn't even make a fuss when Sendak presses a thigh between his legs. He wants to save his energy to protest something worse. Because there was bound to be something worse coming his way. Just when he thinks he can stomach what Sendak gives him, Sendak goes and proves him wrong.

Sendak sighs and draws out another orb, popping it over Lance's head and slowly massaging the suds in. When he finished bathing them, he lifts Lance up and dries him down.

When Lance settles back on the bed, Sendak clears his throat.

"I will be going out for the quintent," he says before rummaging in the bag he’d brought with him. "I do not trust you to your own devices,” he continues as he pulls out a pair of cuffs.

"Don't fight me," he says as he takes hold of Lance hands.

Lance's face falls as he sees the cuffs. They weren't made out of metal like the last ones, but they were still cuffs. He doesn't want to wear them.

But what really catches his attention is a faint vibrating sound coming from inside Sendak's cupped hand. The sound is so worrisome that Lance doesn't even realize he's got the cuffs on him until he hears them click shut.

"No, wait," Lance scrambles to his knees. "Don't- what is that?"

Sendak reaches out, grasping Lance's leg and pulls him against the bed. He grunts as he flips Lance over, even as Lance squirms in protest. Lance gasps as Sendak spreads his legs and slides something slick and thin into his body.

The object immediately begins to swell inside him.

Sendak sits on the edge of the bed, his hand on Lance's back, keeping him pinned.

"How do you work this stu-" he fiddles angrily with something in his other hand and suddenly vibrations begin.

When Lance imagined all the different ways he might lose his virginity, there was usually romantic music playing in the background while his imaginary lover took him slowly, taking the time to thoroughly explore each other's bodies. Sometimes, when he was in the mood, Lance liked to think of his first time happening spontaneously, a result of need and passion that would end with him pinned to a wall or a desk as he begged for more.

Okay, maybe he'd watched a little too much porn. But if he were honest with himself, his current predicament was a lot wilder than anything he'd ever jacked off to.

With one swift, rough movement, he'd lost his virginity to a space vibrator.

Lance doesn't get the chance to dwell on the lack of build up or ceremony, or even the chance to be comforted by the thought that he had at least one first time left that hadn't been viciously taken from him without asking. No. He's far too preoccupied with the blinding pleasure that spikes through his body one vibration at a time, building him up before tearing him down.

Lance's body shakes at he watches Sendak prepare to leave. Sweat beads on his brow and drool dribbles down his chin as he cums again with a shout.

"N-no, please, don't leave me like-"

The doors slide shut after Sendak and Lance swears colorfully as the vibrations don't stop. Not even after he cums a third time.

He barely notices the bot that enters the room, cleans up the floor, and leaves. Lance is lost in a world of pleasure bordering on pain as his sensitive body convulses again and again. He never even considered the possibility of reaching an orgasm without being touched.

Finally, finally, the vibrations stop and Lance cries in relief. He shifts on the bed, away from the sticky mess he'd made so far, and tries to get comfortable enough with his cuffs to drift off to sleep. But just as he starts to nod off, he's snapped back into full awareness as the vibrations start.

Again.

By the time Lance manages to figure out the vibration pattern, he's had three half-hour breaks. His limbs have been shaking for hours and everything hurts. He's overly sensitive and even the slightest brush of the dirty sheets against his skin is painful. He'd cum dry several times already, body completely spent. Each time hurt more than the last.

Lance can't take it anymore.

Knowing he only has a limited time-frame, Lance reaches between his legs and starts to fiddle with the vibrator. It's difficult with his hands cuffed in front of him, but he's grateful at least that they hadn't been tied behind his back. He whimpers as he feels the size of the toy and cries out in pain as he gives it a tug. For all mean and purposes, it was practically stuck in him.

But Lance couldn't go through another hour of vibrations. He just couldn't.

So Lance gathers his courage and grits his teeth as he continues to work on the vibrator, pulling it out inch by painful inch. He has the toy halfway out of his body (at least, he hopes it's halfway) when it starts vibrating again.

Panicking, Lance yanks on the toy and cries as he finally manages to pull it out. He throws the vibrator as far away as he can and grabs one of the pillows to squeeze as his entire bottom half burns and throbs in pain. He looks down between his legs for a brief moment before quickly looking away and squeezing them together.

Okay, so he’s bleeding and Lance isn't sure if he'll ever be able to walk again, but it was worth it.

Maybe, if he's lucky, he'll bleed to death before Sendak returns. It would serve him right, leaving him like that. Besides- Lance has heard that bleeding out isn't the worst way to die. Maybe this was a gift in disguise.

Lance closes his eyes and tries to drift off to sleep. He's cold, but he doesn't have the energy to even grab the nearest blanket and cover himself with it. The pain only seems to intensify and as the tears roll down his cheeks, Lance belatedly wonders if he'd made a mistake.

The door slides open and Sendak enters the room. Lance hears an unidentifiable noise and suddenly Sendak is next to him, pressing his paw to his forehead.

“You have a fever,” Sendak says.

Lance cracks open his eyes and groans in protest as he's jostled and lifted into the air. He'd just been on the verge of sleep after his pain had numbed. Or maybe he'd just gotten used to it, who cares. He could've been asleep now, but nooo. The universe just kept on torturing him.

And he's so, so tired.

“I’m sorry,” Sendak grunts shortly and brushes his fingers through Lance’s hair.

"Hurts," Lance rasps, throat dry and raw from his shouting and crying. His eyes find Sendak's and he closes them with a grimace. "Hate you," he adds, no more than a miserable mumble.

Sendak flinches before he pulls out another vial and spills it down Lance’s throat.

“I will only give a little. It will numb the pain.”

Lance coughs a little as something slides down his throat, but otherwise does his best to swallow it to avoid suffocating. He whines, wishing Sendak would just put him down already and let him sleep. But apparently his body didn't need a mattress to finally allow him to doze off.

Warmth spreads in Lance's chest and the last thing he notes before losing consciousness is that he thinks he can feel his legs again.

Maybe they weren't gonners after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who need it, there is a spoiler trigger warning in the chapter's end notes. We thought this chapter deserved its own warning, just in case.

Lance slowly opens his eyes, squinting at the bright light. Was this it? Had he made it to heaven? Maybe space heaven?

The pain that immediately follows is enough to assure Lance that no, he isn't dead, and he certainly isn't in heaven. A quick look around shows that he's exactly where he was when he passed out.

Lance's lips curve into a disappointed frown.

Sendak is sitting next to him on the bed, but Lance chooses not to say anything. He has nothing to say to Sendak. Except a 'fuck you', perhaps, but Lance isn't in the mood for another one of Sendak's punishments quite yet.

Besides, he was probably going to get one anyway. He'd taken the toy out and possibly even broke it. Surely Sendak wasn't happy about that.

Sensing that he’s awake, Sendak shifts on the bed, then slowly meets Lance’s squinting gaze.

“Are you still in pain?”

Lance looks away and keeps his mouth shut. Yes, of course he’s still in pain. His body is a complete mess. Who in their right mind would think that it was a good idea to shove a vibrator up the ass of someone who'd just been sick all over their floor?

Sendak, apparently. Lance wouldn't even trust one of Allura's mice to the guy.

Sendak exhales and shuts his eyes. He lifts the blanket and rests it over Lance’s shoulders before getting up and kneeling at Lance’s eye level.

“It is not customary for Galra to apologize,” he states, “yet, I know my actions have hurt you.”

Sendak rests a hand over Lance’s covered waist.

“You will have time to heal, Lance, and I will not repeat this mistake,” he says as looks down at him. “You can hate me, it is within your right.”

Sendak brushes a thumb across the blanket.

“Though I hope some quintent you will not.”

Lance watches Sendak silently, carefully weighing his options. He could keep ignoring Sendak, which he's sorely tempted to do. Or, he could seize the rare moment for what it is- an opportunity.

Maybe Sendak isn't explicitly apologizing, but he does look sorry. Lance can use this.

"I want to see Hunk," Lance says quietly, voice cracking from his dry throat. He looks at Sendak, wondering if his guilt is heavy enough to allow it.

Sendak’s hand hovers over Lance’s waist, considering, before reaching out to pick up a glass of water and handing it to Lance.

“I will arrange something with his overseers,” he promises, gently taking Lance’s chin. “Until then, you must rest.”

Lance takes a grateful drink from the water as he tries to hide his absolute excitement from the prospect of seeing Hunk again. If he looks too happy, Sendak might think he's forgiven him. And Lance isn't that cheap.

Or so he'd like to think. Lance tries not to remember that one time his sister bought his silence with her dessert. With him keeping his mouth shut, she'd been able to sneak her boyfriend into her room undetected for months.

He'd really enjoyed that steady flow of cake.

So Lance composes himself and meets Sendak's gaze with a nod.

"Okay," he says simply, not quite ready to thank Sendak. Not when this was an atonement, not a favor. "I- I appreciate it. And I'll try."

Sendak releases his chin with a nod and stands, returning to his study. Lance doesn’t see him again before falling asleep, a smile on his face as he thinks about seeing his best friend again.

.x.

It’s two days before Sendak allows Lance to see Hunk. He hides out in his study more often than not, which Lance can’t decide if he prefers. When they do see each other, things are awkward and silent between them. Lance is almost tempted to do something to get a rise out of Sendak, if only to mix things up a little. He’s bored.

But he can’t do anything that’d risk cancelling his meeting with Hunk.

An hour before they leave, Lance is helped by a bot into one of the more modest outfits Sendak had given him, though he still feels way too exposed to be out in public. He doesn’t complain, though- it’s not like he has anything to hide from Hunk.

Sendak guides him to the meeting room, strong arm around his shoulders, and Lance briefly wonders if it was to keep him steady on his still weak legs or if it was a possessive move. Probably both. They stop in front of a sliding door and Sendak lowers his arm.

“You have half a varga, boy. The Yellow Paladin is very busy and cannot spare more time.”

Lance nods, excitement bubbling in his chest and despite his best efforts, he cannot contain his smile. He's about to see Hunk! His best friend! How long has it been? Gosh, he has so much he needs to tell him! And he wants to know how Hunk is doing, too!

Lance is already anticipating one of Hunk's famous hugs. He'll have to tell him to be gentle, but Lance can't wait for it.

Walking through the door, Lance doesn't look back. He spots Hunk on the other side of the room, sitting next to a table, and Lance blinks back tears as he makes his way to his friend as quickly as he can.

"Hunk!" Lance sniffs as he approaches him. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!"

Hunk looks up and offers Lance a smile. It isn’t as beaming and bright as Lance remembers, but it’s a smile from a familiar face, and that means everything.

Lance practically melts in Hunk's arms. He hasn't been hugged in.... Forever. The holding Sendak likes to do definitely doesn't count. That wasn't hugging. _This_ was hugging.

Though, there was a little less enthusiasm in Hunk's hug than Lance remembers. He doesn't let it bother him. Hunk has obviously been through a lot. He doesn't want to pull away, but Hunk steps back and places his hands on his shoulders.

“Hey, Lance,” he greets evenly. “Has your master not been feeding you? You’re practically skin and bones!”

Lance's brows practically reach his hairline at Hunk's comment.

"My 'master'?" Lance repeats, more than a little confused. Why would Hunk call Sendak that? Even Sendak has long given up on Lance ever calling him that.

"Are you talking about Sendak? The guy is mean, but he does feed me. Should I ask for more?"

Lance looks down at himself, dressed in the tight outfit Sendak has given him to wear in public. He hadn't really thought about it, but he was a lot skinnier than he'd been at his capture. The muscle mass he'd been trying to build up at the Garrison was officially a lost cause now that he's under Sendak's watchful eye.

Hunk nods.

“Of course, who else would I be talking about?”

He rubs Lance’s shoulders and sits back down in his seat.

“If he isn’t feeding you enough, I can ask my master to speak to him,” he says with a warm smile. “Gotta look out for my best buddy.”

"Your master?" Lance asks, worry seeping into his voice. He sits down and gives Hunk a long look as he takes in the faded bruises on his wrists.

Was that a scar on his neck?

"No, it's okay, I'll tell him," Lance says distractedly as he takes Hunk’s hand and squeezes it.

"Hey, how are you doing? Are they treating you well? If you need anything, I can get Sendak to talk to whoever's in charge of you. He's still feeling guilty over almost killing me and I'm milking it for all its worth."

“Of course,” Hunk answers immediately, “my master is very considerate.” He smiles. “I get to build, design. Sometimes me and Pidge work together,” he says says and then laughs, “oh, yeah, duh, you must get so much 'cuz of your master. He’s such a high-ranking Galra,” Hunk remarks with a smack on his forehead. “Look at me worrying about you, you’ve probably living the high life, huh?”

Hunk pulls his hand out of Lance’s grasp and rubs at his wrists.

Lance tilts his head in confusion. He'd mentioned it offhandedly, not wanting to make a big deal over his near brush with death, but only because he knew that Hunk would freak out even more if he said it any other way.

But it was like Hunk hadn't even heard him.

"I-no, not really," Lance says with a frown. His chest twinges with jealousy as the fact that Hunk and Pidge get to see each other. He wants to see his friends too.

"I mean.... I'm just locked in a room all day. Sendak keeps trying to take things from me and I-I can't say no because if I do, Shiro and Keith will be in danger," Lance stubbornly blinks away his tears.

Hunk frowns.

“Dude, it’s Shiro and Keith, they can take care of themselves,” he remarks then squeezes Lance’s hands.

Lance blinks.

What’s going on?

Lance notices Hunk's eyes roaming over his outfit and he flushes a bit. If Hunk hadn't been able to guess what Sendak does with him, he must've realized it by now.

“Are you, uh, going to a party or something?”

"No, Sendak just likes seeing me dressed like this, I guess. I don't really get much of a choice," Lance bites his lip. He tightens his grip on Hunk's hand. "Hunk, he... Sendak uses me. Sexually," Lance whispers, finding the words difficult to say. The tears finally start to slide down his cheeks, unchecked.

"He hurts me. And there's nothing I can do about it."

Hunk lifts a hand and brushes a tear from Lance’s cheek.

“I... I didn’t want to make weapons for the Galra at first,” he admits, “but, they’re right. The universe needs to be... Uh, it needs to be unified. They know what they’re doing,” Hunk smiles.

“I stopped fighting it and everything makes sense now. It’s easier now. I think you should accept this as a gift, Lance,” Hunk pulls him into a hug.

“You have a Galra who cherishes you. And you’re that special so I get it.” He exhales a laugh. “Maybe if you stop fighting so much you’ll be happier. It’s really not that bad. They’re nice if you give them the chance. I’m sure your master will take good care of you.”

Lance's eyes widen in shock and he pulls away.

"What's wrong with you?" Lance demands as he looks at his best friend in open horror. He almost doesn't recognize him anymore. "Did they brainwash you? Who are you? How can you say that? We know what the Galra are capable of, we've seen the things they've done! What about Allura, huh? Did her whole planet deserve to be wiped out?"

Lance's shoulders tremble with anger. What have the Galra done to his best friend?

Hunk bites his lip. “No... of course it didn’t," he admits, “but Alfor didn’t surrender. If he had, there would still be Alteans.”

He reaches out to take Lance’s hand.

“You’re only hurting yourself if you keep fighting, Lance. We lost. They were right.”

Hunk gives Lance a long look.

“You sure you don’t want me to talk to my master? You’re really skinny, buddy.”

Lance doesn't know what to do with himself. He never expected in a million years for Hunk to tell him to just give up. To not even bat a lash when Lance told him that he'd been more or less raped. Or nearly killed.

"So you're saying I should just spread my legs and take it?" Lance snaps.

Hunk flinches at his tone.

“I... Um... I dunno man, if that’s what your master wants.” He bites his lips. “What’s the alternative?”

Lance's jaw drops and he stares at Hunk for a long, silent moment before shaking his head.

"I can't believe this. You-I... Just, no," Lance says to himself and turns around. He walks over to the door he came through and knocks on the metal as hard as he can.

"Can you hear me? I want to leave! Now!"

Lance doesn't think he can stand being in the same room as this Hunk impersonator for one more second. Because that had to be the case. The person in front of him isn't actually Hunk. It was some robot Sendak probably had custom ordered to try and convince him to submit.

It just had to be.

Hunk gets to his feet and runs to Lance.

"Lance," he whispers, grabbing his arm. "Lance wait, listen," he hisses with a hand resting on the scar at his neck.

"They won't let us die,” he whispers, "they won't let us -"

Lance's eyes widen in alarm as Hunk grabs him. For a moment, there's a flicker of Hunk's true self that makes Lance reconsider his impostor theory. But what Hunk had to say chills him to the very bone. Lance looks between Hunk's anxious expression to the scar on his neck and he immediately wants to reach out and pull Hunk close. Sure, he'd sort of tried to kill himself, but never so intentionally. The fact that Hunk had at one point felt the same need and had acted on it makes Lance's heart hurt.

He shouldn't be mad at Hunk. He's mad at the so called 'master' that broke his spirit.

Hunk freezes as the doors open. He immediately drops to his knees as Sendak and an unfamiliar Galra appear.

"If you wish to end your time early," Sendak says, reaching for Lance's arm, "come." He pulls Lance away just as Hunk's master strikes him.

"No, wait!" Lance struggles, trying to pull away from Sendak's grasp. He gasps in shock as Hunk's Galra hits Hunk over his shivering back with what looked like a whip.

"Stop it! He didn't do anything wrong!" Lance protests. But the Galra doesn't even give any indication that he'd heard him.

Lance panics as he sees the whip raised again and finally manages to slip free from Sendak's grasp. With his newfound freedom, Lance rushes to Hunk's side and falls to his knees, wrapping his arms around Hunk's bent shoulders as he tries to shield him to the best of his ability.

Hunk doesn't deserve the pain. All he'd done was sing this awful Galra's praises. What had happened to the 'kind master' Hunk spoke so highly of?

“Lance...?” Hunk whispers, shocked, before roughly shoving Lance off him.

Lance grunts as he hits the floor, eyes wide as he looks at Hunk. Why had he done that? Lance was protecting him! His heart tears in two as Hunk smiles back at him just before the whip hits his back.

The tears blur Lance's vision as he scrambles to his feet, intent on returning to Hunk and sticking himself like glue to his friend's back this time, but someone grabs him by the waist from behind and lifts him up. Lance squawks, indignant, but he knows that once he's in Sendak's arms it's a lost cause.

So there's nothing left for him to do other than cry for Hunk as Sendak carries him away, deeply regretting cutting their meeting short. If only Hunk had been upfront with him. If only he'd had the patience to coax the truth out of him...

Lance doubts that Hunk's 'master' will let them meet again after this mess.

Sendak carries Lance the rest of the way to the room. He silently offers him a towel as he sets him down on the bed.

Lance buries his face in the towel and collapses on the bed, face-first. He considers never moving again. What was the point? The tears just keep on coming until Lance exhausts himself and reluctantly rolls onto his back. He turns his head and gives Sendak a blank stare.

"Well? Aren't you gonna yell at me or something? I tried to interfere with Hunk's punishment. I bet that's going to get you in trouble with his overseer."

“It might,” Sendak shrugs, “but Shatun is hardly one that scares me.” He takes the towel from Lance’s hands.

“That was very stupid what you did,” he says and cocks his head. “You... Still, even now, you sacrifice yourself for others. Why?”

Lance tilts his head. He'd never thought about it before, why he has the tendency to jump in and push others out of harm's way. He just... Does it.

"I dunno," Lance shrugs and looks away. "I guess to be nice? To be a hero? It's the least I can do. Maybe I can't fight my way out of every mess or fix things, but I can try to make sure that the people who do know how to do that will still be around."

Sendak shakes his head.

“Clearly, your friend wanted you around. Considering he did not accept your brand of heroics," he points out and hovers over Lance.

“No one else may touch you,” he states, “even out of protection for another.”

He reaches around and shows Lance the soft cuffs he’d worn before.

“This is all I will place on you,” he promises with what Lance guesses Sendak thinks is a soothing tone. “I can’t have a repeat of your ‘bravery.’”

Lance purses his lips at the sight of the cuffs and recoils. The last time he'd worn those... Well, the memory isn't pleasant. But he concedes and extends his arms to allow Sendak to apply them once he's promised that nothing else will follow. He can live with the cuffs.

"Doesn't matter though, does it?" Lance's says quietly. "Hunk is totally brainwashed. For all I know, he pushed me out of the way because he wanted to be punished."

Deep inside, Lance knows that isn't the case. But Hunk's words about doing whatever was needed to please his master still burn.

Sendak holds Lance’s hands in his paw.

“He might’ve,” Sendak concedes, “but that is not for you to worry about.”

"Of course this is something I'm worried about," Lance snaps. "My best friend just told me I should spread my legs for you if that's what you want from me! You Galra have broken him, and I'm scared to find out what you've done to the rest of my team! I'm all-"

Lance blinks back fresh tears. Fuck. That's all he's been doing lately.

"I'm all alone," Lance whispers and pulls his hands out of Sendak's paw. He turns around and lies down on his side on top of the bed.

Sendak is quiet for a long moment before speaking again.

“Next quintent, I am to set out to oversee my territory. We will not be returning to Zarkon’s ship for several movements.”

Lance stays silent, but he thinks that maybe it’s a good thing that they’re going to leave Zarkon's ship. It meant that he won't have to see his friends beaten and defeated.

Sendak sighs and lifts a blanket, resting it on Lance’s shoulder.

“You’re alone only if you wish it to be that way.”

Lance doesn’t reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of attempted suicide.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We decided to post this week's chapter a little early as a 'thank you' for all of your great comments and for reaching over 1K hits. Enjoy! ♡

Lance hadn't realized how different things were going to be for him once Sendak pulled his ship out of Zarkon's hub.

He still spends most of his time in Sendak's room, but things are a little less formal when Sendak takes him out- not to mention the fact that he's seen more of Sendak's ship these past few days than he had the entire time he's spent with Sendak in captivity.

It feels a little easier to breathe, away from Zarkon, and Lance can appreciate that in the way Sendak returns to the room less stressed and pensive. He was nicer when he was in a good mood.

Though, now that he thinks about it, Sendak hasn't punished him much since the vibrator incident. Lance thinks it has to do with his healing process, which was admittedly taking longer than he would've liked.

Or maybe he was just growing weak, left to do nothing all day but laze about in bed more often than not.

Lance has come to look forward to his daily quintessence dosage. That was apparently the name of the not-poison Sendak had given him that first time. He isn’t given enough to drug him or make him sick like last time, but it does alleviate the pain and improves his mood. It makes things seem a little less… pointless.

It’s about two weeks after they leave for Sendak’s territory that Lance blinks owlishly at the doors as they slide open. He hadn't expected Sendak to return for...well, for the rest of the day.

Lance has gotten into the habit of 'borrowing' one of Sendak's tablets and trying to find things that might entertain him while Sendak is gone. So far, he's managed to learn the pattern required to produce a small hologram of an unfamiliar alien species speaking rapidly in an intonation that reminds Lance of rap.

Lance jumps a little and quickly stuffs the tablet under a nearby pillow to hide his small transgression. He raises a brow as Sendak approaches and swallows nervously.

"Uh, hey," Lance forces a grin. "Is it already lunch time?"

Sendak pulls him up and off the bed. Lance doesn’t miss the way Sendak’s eyes roam over his tunic. As sheer as it is, Lance is reluctant to admit that it’s extremely comfortable.

“We can get food at the mall,” Sendak says in a distracted tone as he walks over to the closet and pulls out one of Lance’s more modest outfits.

Lance's interest is piqued at the mention of a mall. He had no idea there were malls in space- but of course there would be, why wouldn't there? Malls are fun and easy and convenient and...

Lance hopes 'mall' isn’t a Galran word for a different kind of establishment you can get food in. He's really looking forward to this.

So Lance quickly switches clothes and don't even make a face when Sendak binds his hands in the familiar cuffs.

“Come now, we are stopping over,” Sendak orders and hesitates for a moment before adding, “I think you will like this.”

Lance’s eyes widen and he gasps with excitement as Sendak guides him out of the ship and into a giant, shiny building with lots of colors and blinking lights.

Nothing like a shrine to consumerism to make Lance feel right at home.

His excitement fades a little as he notices the aliens around them stop, stare and whisper as he follows Sendak through the mall. Lance looks down, embarrassment hot on his cheeks.

Not only is he one of the defeated Voltron paladins, he’s also very obviously dressed in a revealing manner. He'd gotten used to the clothes Sendak gave him, but looking around and seeing how decently others dressed, Lance can't help but feel self-conscious.

It was one thing being stared at by Galra soldiers- he's gotten used to them by now. It was another thing entirely for random aliens to see him like this. Their short-lived savior, dressed like a concubine.

Lance supposes that's exactly what he is.

Sendak slows down for a moment before guiding Lance to walk in front of him.

“You should not feel shame, boy,” he states as he escorts Lance down the halls. “What they think does not matter.”

Lance notes the way a group of Nebim scurry away as Sendak glares in their direction.

“They know better to look upon your visage.”

Lance isn't quite sure about that, he's certain he has a lot of thing to feel shameful about. But all of his embarrassment is gone once Sendak shows him into a store that appears to carry items exclusively from Earth.

Lance stands still in the middle of the store, eyes darting all over, paralysed by the dozens of choices surrounding him. Where should he start?

"This is amazing," he bites his lip and looks up at Sendak. "I-can I actually get stuff from here?"

Sendak looks around them and shrugs. He looks a little lost.

“Whatever you desire, it will be yours,” he responds as he pokes a finger into an opened barrel of slime . “Just,” he grimaces, “nothing sticky.”

Eyes widening, Lance lets out an excited squeal he doesn't even care about because he's in an actual Earth store with Earth things and Sendak has essentially given him an open check to buy whatever he wants.

Lance never thought he'd get a sugar daddy, but as he was already being forced to give his body to Sendak, he doesn't feel one ounce of guilt as he roams through the store, piling items in the large basket Sendak carries for him.

It was...nice, actually.

"Oh my god, they even have cologne!" Lance gushes and quickly sprays a tester bottle on his arm, as his wrists were otherwise occupied. He raises it to his nose to smell it and grins. It smelled a bit like the ocean.

"What do you think?" Lance raises his arm as far as he can in the direction of Sendak's face. "Does it smell good?"

Sendak reels back when Lance offers his arms to him. He looks at him cautiously before he gives them a sniff and slowly smiles.

“You smell like Daibalzaal’s Boiling Rock,” he says quietly. “It smells very good.”

Lance's eyes rest on Sendak's face a beat too long and he tears his gaze away with a faint flush. He'd been taken aback by how soft Sendak looked when he smiled. He'd seen Sendak smirk before and his evil grin gave Lance nightmares, but the open and harmless smile he'd just worn was...surprisingly attractive.

Not that Lance finds Sendak attractive. Noooo. Of course not! How could he? But-

Whatever. He doesn't want to have this conversation with anyone, least of all himself.

Sendak shifts the basket and draws Lance out of his thoughts. 

“Anything else?” He asks.

"Uh, I dunno," Lance clears his throat and scans the store, searching for any shelf he might've missed. Most of them were empty. Lance has never practically bought up a whole store before. It feels nice. Is this what being rich feels like?

"I guess that's-"

_Meow_

Lance freezes as his eyes fall on a cage all the way in the back of the store. He immediately drops the cologne in the basket and rushes towards the cage, heart pounding.

Can it be...?

"No way," Lance gasps as he falls to his knees and opens the cage.

A small, white cat with blue eyes hisses at him and tries to bat his hand away with its claw as Lance reaches inside.

It's love at first sight.

"I can't believe they have a cat," Lance murmurs in awe, stricken as he manages to coax the cat out. It gives him a long, calculating look before butting its head against his hand.

Lance promptly melts.

"Look at you! What happened to you, you poor, beautiful thing? Did the evil aliens take you away from your mama? You must be so lonely!"

Lance immediately looks up at Sendak with wide, pleading eyes.

"Can we take her?" He asks, biting his lip as he gathers the cat into his arms and stands up. "Please?"

Sendak looks at him blankly and Lance is sure that he’s going to refuse.

“…yes,” Sendak grumbles and meets Lance’s eyes, “on the condition that you take care of it. I will not hesitate to throw it out the airlock if it becomes unruly.” 

The cat hisses and Lance gives a scandalized gasp, holding the cat a little closer to his chest.

"You'd have to throw me out with her," Lance says decisively, but a shy smile quickly finds its place on his lips as he meets Sendak's gaze.

"Thank you. This...this means a lot."

His excitement returns full force as he lifts the cat into the air and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

"Let's take you home, Bl-"

Lance pauses. No, he can't name her Blue. He already has a Lion named Blue, waiting for him to return to her one day. Even if that never happens, it just doesn't feel right, replacing her like this. But with the cat's blue eyes, Lance finds he doesn't want to name her anything else.

"Azul," Lance finally decides on with a fond smile. "Your name is Azul."

Sendak pays for Lance’s purchases and gathers the items in one arm and with the other guides Lance out of the store.

Lance pays no attention to the staring as he follows Sendak to what appeared to be the food court- he's far too busy cooing at and calming down Azul, who appeared to be overwhelmed by the sudden change in her life. He sits down next to the table Sendak chooses, setting Azul down on his lap.

"Boy, what does your creature eat?" Sendak asks as he sets the bags down next to the table.

Lance looks up at Sendak's question, taken by surprise by his consideration.

"Uh, I dunno," Lance frowns and sets Azul down in his lap. He rubs her back thoughtfully. "Fish? Do they even have fish in space?"

Sendak nods slowly. “I will look for something. Stay put.”

Lance watches as Sendak walks away, leaving him unsupervised at the table and mostly mobile, save for his cuffs. He bites his lip and looks down at Azul as he considers his options.

For the first time ever, he's being presented with an opportunity to take off and run. Who knew if he'd ever get the chance to do so again? By all means, he shouldn't be thinking twice about this. He's wasting time. Keith would've bolted the second Sendak had his back turned to him.

However...

Lance knows he doesn't have anywhere to go. The Castle of Lions isn't waiting around the corner, ready to take him in. His team isn't there to have his back. Blue wasn't anywhere nearby for him to pilot and escape. He has no way of knowing if any of the shopkeepers or aliens walking around would be inclined to help and hide him.

And even if he did manage to outsmart Sendak, where would he go?

Lance has no knowledge of this solar system, has no idea how far away Earth is from this space mall. He has no weapons to his name and could be easily overpowered by someone else. Would he really want to risk abduction by an unfamiliar alien, who could be ten times worse than Sendak? Or even worse, face Sendak's wrath should he be handed in after escaping?

Lance shivers. No. He doesn't want that.

Besides. He has Azul now, he can't just leave her or risk her getting harmed on the run. Lance has no doubt in his mind that if he attempted to escape, Sendak would be true to his word and kill her.

And...

Well, Sendak has been more or less nice to him for a while now. And now that he has enough books and games and magazines to entertain him for a year, maybe staying with Sendak wouldn't be so bad. For now.

Lance is jolted out of his pondering by a tray shoved in his direction. He blinks and notes the bowl of water and something that looks like a badly drawn fish made real on a small tray next to his own.

He smiles.

"Thanks," Lance nods and sets the food down on the floor next to his feet. He then gently sets her down on the floor and makes sure that Azul is fully occupied with her food before shifting his attention to his own plate. He wouldn't want her running away in the crowded mall.

Sendak watches eat for a minute before sinking his canines into his meal.

“Tell me, what is it that you purchased at your,” he waves, “planet’s store?”

Lance's expression brightens at the mention of his haul. He's always enjoyed shopping, and part of the fun was telling everyone what he'd gotten.

"Everything!" Lance grins and takes a bite of his food. It's...interesting. Not bad, but nothing he's ever tasted before. He's glad for the variation, though.

"Most of the stuff is outdated and I had to give up on some of the snacks and cosmetics that expired ten years ago, but there were a bunch of things that are relatively new! I can't wait to use everything," Lance gushes and pauses to take a sip of what looked like juice.

Sendak tilts his head at Lance and smiles.

“Well, perhaps we will drop by another mall in the future. They are endless in space,” he says, taking another bite of his meal.

That smile again. Lance hesitantly returns it. At the mention of the possibility of going to other malls in the future, Lance is suddenly struck by how familiar the scenario he's in is. Walking around the mall, having someone buy him things, eating together and making plans to do it again...

Lance's eyes widen.

"Hey, are we on a date?"

Sendak looks at Lance with a furrow in his brow, apparently confused, before a loud and boisterous laugh erupts from him, shaking his shoulders with his mirth. He looks at Lance with what Lance might call fondness.

“You are asking,” he says as he catches his breath, “if we are courting?”

Lance flushes and stares down at his plate. He feels silly even suggesting it, of course they aren't. He's Sendak's prisoner, he didn't need to date him to get what he wanted. He already took it anyway.

“Would that make you happy, if we were?” Sendak asks.

Lance wonders if Sendak's laugh maybe hadn't been directed at him.

Looking down, Lance sees that Azul had finished her meal and quickly scoops her up into his lap. He runs his fingers through her fur in an attempt to calm himself, but his face still feels warm as he looks back up at Sendak.

"I-well, uh...maybe? It could be...nice," Lance mumbles. "Make this feel a little more normal."

Sendak gives him a long look before reaching out and removing the cuffs from Lance’s wrists.

“Then, consider this us courting,” he says and cups Lance’s chin, “and my putting my faith in your interests.”

Lance can't believe it. He stares at his newly freed wrists and then up at Sendak and a slow, wide smile spreads across his face. He isn't sure what exactly Sendak considered 'courting', but he likes this new development very much.

"Okay," he says shyly and hesitantly raises a hand to rest on top of Sendak's metal hand on the table.

Sendak looks down at Lance’s hand and nods.

“Where should I court you next?” He asks, amusement clear in his voice.

Lance grins and pulls his hand back as he thinks. Wow, talk about turning tables. He was actually being asked for his opinion. If this is what courting entailed, Lance is all for it. He likes the way Sendak looks at him now. It's almost as if he's fond of him.

Which was ridiculous, sure, but Lance wonders if maybe one day that might be possible.

And if that day came, how would he feel about Sendak?

"Does space have movie theatres?" Lance asks and looks around, trying to get some inspiration from his surroundings. He has no idea what space has to offer, he's seen very little of it so far.

"Arcades? Theme parks?"

In truth, Lance can think of quite a few things he'd love to do. But he doesn't want to push his luck. Something tells him that as much as Sendak claims that he now trusts him, he wasn't about to let him pilot a ship anytime soon.

Sendak hums thoughtfully. “It is space,” he responds, “it exists somewhere.” He rests his hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Perhaps, you should do some research on the tablet you took from my study?” He lifts a brow. “I’m certain you will find something worth seeing.” His hand brushes the ends of Lance’s curls.

Lance's flush deepens. Fuck, he'd thought he was being stealthy. How did Sendak find out? He always returned it back exactly where he'd found it...well, from Sendak's tone, Lance can tell that Sendak didn't terribly mind. Now that was a relief.

"I-sure," Lance stutters, still embarrassed by being caught. The hand gently brushing his curls wasn't helping him any. He clears his throat and tries to appear somewhat intelligent.

"But, um, I can't really understand anything on the tablet. Is there a way to translate it into a language I know?"

Sendak nods. “I will adjusts the settings,” he says, continuing his slow exploration of Lance’s hair.

“Now, let’s return to the ship, I’m certain you have much to sift through,” he nods to the bags.

Lance blinks and quickly pulls away from Sendak’s touch, flustered. He adjusts Azul against his chest and stands up, quickly leading the way out of the food court. He hears Sendak behind him and he doesn’t need to look back to tell that Sendak was highly amused.

Whatever. Amused was so much better than angry.

If Sendak wants to court him, then Lance isn’t about to stop him.


	8. Chapter 8

Lance hasn't been able to whine about being bored for the last two weeks, mainly because he hasn't had the time to do so. His days are filled with sorting through his haul, taking care of Azul, exploring the universe through Sendak's tablet and, of course, spending time with Sendak at the end of the day.

Lance is a very busy man.

Sendak's room has started to feel a lot like _their_ room ever since Lance had brought his purchases back, and he has been using them to decorate. At this point, the room looks like an Earth shrine, filled to the brim with comforts and knickknacks only found on Earth.

It’s a little messy, but Lance loves it. Sendak's quarters now look like someone is actually living in them!

Mainly, Lance.

The hours Lance spends looking through Sendak's tablet while petting Azul, who he quickly learned loved to just sit in his lap and be groomed, only increased. The tablet was a treasure trove of information people would literally kill for on Earth, and now that Sendak had programmed it to a language he can read, Lance has access to answers to any question he can possibly come up with.

Understandably, Lance simply can't get enough of the tablet, and he looks forward to Sendak returning at the end of each day so that he can pepper him with questions and share the day's discoveries with him. Sendak would answer his questions to a point before pulling him into bed.

Lance didn't mind it. In fact, he's come to enjoy the way Sendak touches him, almost reverently. It feels good.

And now, following Sendak to the bridge for their second 'date', Lance wonders what Sendak has in store for him. He hopes Azul will be fine by herself for an hour or two. This is his first time leaving her all alone since finding her, and Lance is admittedly a little anxious.

Sendak shifts his hand from over Lance’s shoulders to the small of his back as he guides Lance to the down the halls. When they enter the deck the area is dark and Lance would find it difficult to see if not for the glowing lights on the control board.

“Sit,” Sendak says, motioning to one of the chairs, “and close your eyes.”

Lance does as Sendak says and sits down, closing his eyes despite his burning curiosity.

“Lance, open your eyes now.”

Lance savours the sound of his name before opening his eyes. He gasps as he stares through the now visible windows and he feels engulfed in a sea of bright stars, shining in the velvety darkness of space. He can't tear his gaze away.

"It's beautiful," he murmurs.

Sendak hums in agreement.

“This is my territory. And long past it,” he adds and places a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “The expanse of space is mine,” he says slowly before tilting Lance’s chin up.

“Ours.”

Lance blinks. All of these stars...belong to Sendak? How is that possible? Lance thought only Zarkon technically owned the planets the Galra conquered. Lance had no idea Zarkon’s generals could claim territories for themselves as well.

"Ours?" Lance echoes.

Woah. What did Sendak mean, 'ours'? Was he saying that Lance suddenly owned all these planets as well?

Lance is overwhelmed, but also rather uncomfortable. He doesn't want to own planets. His biggest nightmare is that the Galra will someday go to Earth and claim it for themselves.

That was the main reason why he tried to talk as little as possible about Earth and about his family. He doesn't want to give Sendak any ideas.

Owning other planets is wrong. But Lance isn't going to berate Sendak for what he'd already done. It isn't like he can convince him to just let those planets be. Zarkon certainly wouldn't allow it.

And yet, despite Lance's aversion, he can't help but admire Sendak a little. Being in charge of so many planets must be a lot of work. No wonder he was gone most of the day.

“Would you like to visit one?” Sendak eventually asks, voice soft.

Lance tilts his head and meets Sendak’s eyes.

"What do you mean when you say you own these planets?" He asks, keeping his tone neutral as he avoids the question until he knows more. He's curious.

"Like...are there people there? Are they okay?"

Sendak shift and moves to Lance’s side, lifting him up with little ceremony. Lance is used to being lifted and moved according to Sendak's will and shifts accordingly, curling against Sendak's chest for comfort.

“They are serving the Galra,” Sendak states. “They live their lives to help progress the Empire. They live their own lives, make decisions how they may, but they ensure that the work they give progresses the Empire.”

Sendak pauses and looks down at Lance with a smile.

“Are you worried on their behalf? You needn’t be.”

Lance is quiet as he contemplates the lives of the people on Sendak's planets. The fact that their lives are supposedly dedicated to 'serving the Galra' wasn't easy to hear, but when Lance thinks about it, his own purpose in life at the moment could also be considered 'serving the Galra'. Sendak certainly thought so, at any rate.

And in truth, his life isn't really all that bad. Maybe the people on the planets Sendak was in charge of weren't suffering, either.

"Well...the whole idea of Voltron is to free planets from the Galra Empire," Lance gently reminds Sendak. And himself. "I guess it's just a little difficult for me to swallow."

Sendak cups Lance’s chin.

“Voltron’s purpose has lost its value during the decapheebs of its hiatus. If the Voltron Lions truly sought to...” he sighs, “free the universe, why would they recruit humans so ill prepared for the task?”

Sendak huffs. “To think you had the weight of that on your shoulders. A burden like that is not meant for someone like you.”

Lance bites his lip and looks away. Sendak probably hadn't meant to hurt him, but he wasn't aware of Lance's own insecurities regarding his selection. He often revisits the moment Blue opened up to him and asks himself why she'd chosen him. What had she seen in him.

To hear Sendak voice that insecurity was a reminder of his failure.

"Yeah..." Lance says in a small voice and curls his arms around himself. Tears blur his vision and he tries to blink them away. "I guess not."

“Lance,” Sendak says, catching his gaze, “just because you were not meant to,” he laughs breathily, “vanquish us ‘evil Galra’ does not mean you are not capable of amazing things.”

Lance can't help but bite back a smile. He wishes he could have that on tape. As well as Sendak saying his name. He sniffs, an attempt to pull himself together.

"What kind of things?" Lance asks as he rests his head back on Sendak's shoulder. "I...all I do is just sit around and look pretty. I was supposed to be a pilot," Lance says quietly. "Make my parents proud. I was gonna have a career, a family...and now I'll never have any of that."

He doesn't even try to stop the tears this time. Lance doubts he could even he'd wanted to.

Sendak hums softly, hand rubbing up and down Lance’s side.

“You are undeniably very beautiful,” he agrees and moves his hand to Lance’s stomach. “You speak too soon, you-“ he pauses and looks down at Lance’s tears.

“Oh...” Sendak wipes a tear and holds Lance close. “Are you… a good pilot?” He asks.

Lance would usually be comforted by the compliment. Though Sendak was very obvious about his attraction, constantly touching him at every opportunity, he rarely put his appreciation into words.

But Lance can't stop thinking about what his family would think if they saw him like this. Cozying up to a general of an army that destroyed planets. Would they be happy he was alive, or wish that he'd died a hero?

He pauses at the question, however, and takes a deep, steadying breath.

"The guys in my class used to call me 'the tailor'," Lance says with a far-away look. "My flying was so smooth and exact that it was like threading a needle."

Some tall tales just never get old. And it isn't like Sendak can call him out on it, anyway.

Sendak smiles.

“Perhaps then, some quintent soon, you can show me how you thread this... needle.”

Lance sniffs and pulls away a little just so that he can get a better look of Sendak's face, to judge if he is being serious or not.

"Really? You'd let me pilot?"

“Within reason,” Sendak states, tucking his claw underneath Lance’s chin. “And only because of how well behaved you’ve been.”

Lance nods in understanding. Sendak might feel the need to state these conditions, to make it sound like he is still ultimately in charge. And, well, he is.

But Lance has found a number of ways to get the things he wants regardless of his supposed 'good behavior'. And one of them was allowing Sendak to continue to believe that Lance had zero control over his situation.

"Of course," Lance says smoothly and settles back down in the crook of Sendak's neck as he looks up at the stars. The tears slow and dry on his cheeks.

Despite all the negative feelings their date has brought up in him, Lance actually finds himself feeling better than he'd felt before leaving the room. The whole experience has been oddly cathartic, and the promise of getting to fly a ship again one day leaves Lance with a glimmer of hope.

They stay like that, in silence, but enjoyable silence, until Sendak looks down at Lance and holds him closer.

"What shall we do next?" He asks.

Lance's lips quirk in a wry smile. He doesn't miss the hand running up his side and decides to go with it by looping his arms around Sendak's neck.

"I can think of a few things," Lance hums as he presses closer and rolls his hips ever so slightly. "I've always wanted to do it under the stars."

Sendak raises an eyebrow at Lance's offer.

"You have yet to have your surgery so, there will be no 'doing' it until then,” Sendak says frankly, but he places a kiss along Lance's skin. "But that does not mean we cannot find our pleasure elsewhere," he adds with a nip.

Lance doesn't like to think or talk about his upcoming surgery. By this point, he knows it's inevitable and that there was no changing Sendak's mind. But that doesn't mean he has to be happy about it.

Which was why he tried not to bring it up and would elegantly ignored it when Sendak mentioned it every now and then. Lance certainly doesn't have a problem ignoring it now, especially with Sendak's mouth on his neck.

"Mm," Lance wordlessly agrees, tilting his head back to allow Sendak all the access he could want. There was something tantalizing about having such deadly fangs so close to his throat. Sendak could end his life with one bite should he please, and for some stupid reason that really turned Lance on.

Go figure.

Sendak lets out a purr and drags his lips and teeth across Lance’s neck, humming at Lance's shivering. He dips a hand beneath Lance's sheer tunic and trails his hand across a thigh.

Lance tries not to think too much about what he's doing, what he's initiating. There's a comfort in knowing that whatever happens now, it won't lead to anything potentially painful or something he isn't currently capable of doing. After the debacle with the vibrator, Lance trusts Sendak to keep himself in check.

It’s odd, having that kind of trust in Sendak, but Lance has so much proof to base it on that it would be stupid for him to even worry about it.

The transition from violent and harsh to gentle and careful hadn't been seamless, but Lance doesn't flinch away from Sendak's touch anymore.

And now, it just feels natural to spread his thighs and allow Sendak to touch him however he pleases. Lance wants this comfort, craves it. And since it was becoming clearer and clearer that he isn't going anywhere...

Maybe it was time to learn how to enjoy it.

“Let me hear you,” Sendak urges with a purr as he begins to stroke his fingers against Lance’s sensitive flesh.

Lance's eyes flutter shut and he tilts his head back, shivering a little at the vibrations on his throat from Sendak's purr. Sendak is like a cat, Lance thinks with a grin that quickly fades as a moan escapes his mouth. He bites his lip as Sendak continues to touch him.

"W-wait," Lance pants and tugs at the fur on Sendak's shoulders. "M'gonna get my clothes dirty..."

He'd worn his favorite tunic to their date and Lance has no idea what the sheer fabric is made of and if it can even be washed.

Sendak pauses and kisses along his throat, “yes, of course.” He hums and shifts the cloth from Lance’s waist.

“Better now, sweet one?”

Lance flushes at being exposed in a public area. Logically, he knows that no one will walk in on him with Sendak, that Sendak had most likely forbidden every form of communication for the duration of their date.

But still, the risk remains and Lance can't deny how much it turns him on.

Rolling his hips, Lance encourages Sendak to continue his ministrations.

"Yeah...but now I'm cold," he says with an impish grin.

Sendak shifts so Lance straddles his thigh, his hand moving down to cup Lance’s ass.

“What a predicament,” he teases. “How shall I warm you up?” He asks before playfully nipping at Lance’s shoulder.

Lance gasps and arches his back. He tilts his head up to look at Sendak as he runs his open palms down from his shoulders to rest on Sendak's broad chest.

"Touch me," Lance whispers, pushing back against Sendak's hand.

Sendak eagerly complies, hand palming against Lance’s shivering body. Ghosting his breath over Lance’s skin.

“I should like to see your pleasure, sweet one,” he says, pulling back to look into Lance’s eyes as he rubs his fingers against his flesh.

Lance whines, getting so much yet not enough. His body heats up yet he still finds himself cold as he effectively humps Sendak's thigh, torn between bucking into Sendak's touch and finding warmth in the hand that held him. What a predicament indeed.

Lance eventually cums with a cry, stilling his hips as he spends himself over Sendak's hand and stomach. He crumples forward, leaning on Sendak's chest for support as he tries to catch his breath. He doesn't miss the prominent bulge pressing against his leg.

He looks down at Sendak's crotch and then back up at his face with an unspoken question.

Sendak raises a brow and smiles.

“Only if you think you can handle it.”

Lance decides to try it. He knows that if for some reason he doesn't like it, all he has to do is fake distress and Sendak will stop him.

Besides...he's curious.

So Lance shifts off Sendak and scoots back on his knees as Sendak guides him down with a smirk. He takes his time undoing the surprisingly difficult ties that kept Sendak's casual pants up and when Lance finally is able to pull them down, he comes face to face with the sheer size of Sendak's cock.

He gulps. He'd seen it before, but never so up close and personal. It was more than a little intimidating.

But Lance decided that he wanted to try and he's going to go through with it. Carefully, curiously, he reaches out and wraps a hand around Sendak's cock. It isn't enough to circle it completely, but somehow actually touching it made it look a little less threatening.

Sendak nestles his hand in Lance’s hair, watching him.

“Take your time,” he says gently and relaxes into the chair. He exhales as Lance starts to stroke him.

“Good boy.”

Encouraged by Sendak's praise, Lance leans forward and presses open-mouthed kisses against the shaft where his hand doesn't reach. The flesh tastes vaguely salty and Sendak's musky scent was very strong between his thighs, but Lance doesn't let it deter him. He presses one last kiss to the base before adding his other hand to the mix. With the two of them working together, Lance hopes that it will be enough to please Sendak. Maybe even make him cum.

....he _really_ hopes it will, because his arms are starting to hurt and kneeling on the floor is making him cold again.

Sendak looks down and runs his hand down Lance's back.

"A-Ah, that's it,” he coaxes. He reaches a clawed finger to tilt Lance's head up.

"You grow weary," he observes in a deep voice.

Lance huffs and rolls his eyes as he redoubles his efforts. Now that Sendak has noticed, he couldn't possibly give up. Lance never backed out of a challenge.

"Not my fault you've got the stamina of a horse," Lance pouts. _And you're hung like one_, his mind supplies, but that was just stating the obvious.

Sendak chuckles, claws running down Lance's back. He lets out breathy exhales and places his hand on his cock, joining Lance as he squeezes the base. Thick cum releases and spreads over their fingers.

"Mm," Sendak hums as he pulls Lance up and cradles him in his flesh arm. "Let’s take a bath, shall we?"

Lance perks up at the mention of a bath. He never got tired of them, not even now that they've become part of their daily routine. He loves sinking into the warm water and using his new soaps and lotions.

As he rolls his shoulders to relax them, Lance wonders if he should use one of the few bath bombs he'd gotten at the mall. He should treat himself after all that hard work.

"Sounds good to me," Lance says as he curls closer against Sendak's chest, seeking out his warmth. Though he'd never tell him so, Lance finds that he enjoys Sendak's larger build. With his soft fur, he felt like a giant teddy bear. Or a body pillow. It was easy to fall asleep with him in bed.

Though it still makes him feel uneasy in the pit of his stomach, Lance has started to see Hunk's point about not resisting and doing whatever it takes to please his Galra. Sendak is like an entirely different person now that Lance just follows orders, not unlike what he'd done at the Garrison. Life really isn't that bad anymore.

Altogether, it makes it a little difficult for Lance to remember why he'd resisted so much in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: lots of dubious fluff xD 
> 
> We hope you enjoyed the chapter and we'd love to hear your thoughts! Each comment brightens our day :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Apologies for the slight delay this week, things have been hectic on both of our ends. Speaking of, we'd like to let you know that as of next week, updates might not be strictly on Wednesdays. But we fully intend to keep our promise of a chapter per week ;) 
> 
> We'd also like to take a moment to thank our readers, old and new, for your wonderful comments! We really look forward to hearing your thoughts every week :)

Lance has been feeling restless as of late.

Getting proper rest, food, and affection is nice and all, but it means that he now has to deal with all of the pent up energy Sendak won't allow him to exert in fear of injuring himself. No running, no exercising- even their time in bed has been rather tame. Sendak preferred to move him around himself rather than to let Lance do most of the work.

Lance supposes that might change after the surgery, which he still doesn't want to dwell on, but until then...

He's bored. There's only so much entertainment he can get from lying around, scrolling through Sendak’s tablet and watching things. Even the games he'd managed to hook up onto the practically antique system he'd gotten at the space mall can only hold his interest for so long when he feels cooped up.

Azul peers at him curiously as he paces the room, unbothered by his frustration. It was almost as if she were rolling her eyes at him, wondering how he can be displeased with sleeping and relaxing.

Sighing, Lance plops down onto the floor and reaches for the tablet he'd discarded earlier on the rug. Unlike Sendak’s, this was an old tablet from Earth, and he mostly uses it for apps to pass the time. He wonders if there are any alien apps he can download.

But before he can press on the app store, the music icon catches Lance's attention. With all of the stimuli from his numerous purchases, he'd never noticed it before. Curious, Lance presses on it and lets out a low whistle as he scrolls through the various playlists.

He recognizes some of the songs, but by the looks of it, most of them were oldies from the 2030's, when his older siblings were born. Lance's eyes widen with excitement as he selects _Lovelorn_ by Nintenbros and the song starts to play, instantly filling the room with music. Azul jumps to the floor, most likely taken by surprise, and Lance smiles at her apologetically.

Now this is something he can work with!

Slipping out of his tunic, Lance changes into the shorts and tank top he'd sneakily shoved into the shopping basket at the Earth store when Sendak hadn't been looking. He doesn't want to risk tearing the flimsy material. His excitement continues to grow at the change of clothes and Lance's body practically vibrates with energy by the time he does a few careful stretches and moves around the room.

He feels a little like a teenager, dancing in front of the mirror all by himself, but somehow that makes things feel even better because it is such a distinct, familiar feeling he used to experience only a few years ago.

And with each twist and turn, Lance feels a little more like himself again.

Lance startles as he hears the doors slide open and stops his dancing, turning to face Sendak with a sheepish grin as _Fly High_ plays in the background. He expects to be scolded for exerting himself, maybe even asked about his outfit, but all Sendak does is take his hands and kiss them.

"You truly are a marvel."

Lance's flush from dancing only deepens as he tries to find his voice.

"I-uh, I mean...sure?" Lance rambles, completely unprepared for the compliment. "But that's nothing, just some steps I remember from a class I took...I'm rusty, I used to be able to do lots more, but I'm out of practice."

“…would you dance for me?”

Lance blinks and steps back, instinctively looking around the room to gauge another's reaction, only to remember that their only audience was Azul.

Somehow, not having anyone around made it more difficult to make decisions.

Having another's opinion helped Lance realize if he was thinking straight, or if he was going crazy. Having Keith in the room all that time ago, looking at him in disgust when Sendak had touched him, served as a reminder that allowing Sendak to touch him like that was wrong.

Of course, Lance is practically a different person from the man he was back then, and Sendak touching him is old news. But now that something new has come up, Lance isn't sure what to think about it.

Dancing for Sendak...

Lance can't help but recall the movies he'd watched about emperors who'd be entertained by their dancing slave girls. There usually wouldn't be much of a focus on them, but if the slave girl happened to be a high profile captive, they'd devote a whole scene to it. Lance recognizes that this is the exact same thing.

But... Is it?

Sendak was asking him, for starters. The evil men in the movies didn't ask, they demanded. And Lance knows that if he says that he's tired, Sendak won't push him. Besides- Sendak isn't like those evil men in the movies. At least, not anymore. They're beyond that point. And...

With the way Sendak is looking at him, full of awe, Lance kind of wants to.

"You really want to see me dance?" Lance buys himself some time, but is mostly looking for affirmation. That he isn't crazy. That this isn't a bad thing.

Sendak brushes a clawed hand across Lance’s cheek and smiles gently.

“I would not ask if I did not want it,” he clarifies and raises a brow. “Will you?”

Lance bites his lip thoughtfully before giving a curt, decisive nod.

"Okay," he says out loud, more for his own benefit than for Sendak's. "I guess I can dance and you can watch if you want," he tries to play it down, phrase it in a way that would make him feel a little less guilty about agreeing to it. Wanting to do it. He walks over to the tablet and picks it up.

"Do you have any songs you like? Favorite music genre? Do Galra even have music?"

An amused smile crosses Sendak’s expression.

“You should know by now, boy, whatever culture the Galra attain is stolen from another.”

He moves to sit down in a chair.

“Select what would make you happy,” he says dismissively. “It matters not what it is.”

Lance contemplates Sendak's statement and briefly wonders if it was something the Galra prided themselves in or that they admitted to some sort of insufficiency. Maybe they just didn't care about culture.

But Sendak appears to care very much about Lance's dancing.

So Lance chooses an oldy with a slow beat that will allow him to move around the room in languid, pretty movements that don't take too much energy because in truth, his previous dancing had tired him a little. He hadn't been lying when he'd said that he was out of practice.

But Lance keeps a smile on his face as he dances, rolling his hips and twirling to his heart's desire. The longer he dances, the easier it gets to forget that he has an audience.

He loses himself so much so that he suddenly trips and falls to his hands and knees. Lance's eyes widen in horror as Azul screeches at him.

"Fuck, oh my god, I'm so sorry," Lance gushes and lifts Azul to his chest for an apologetic hug. "Did I hurt you, princess? I didn't even see you there!"

Sendak stands up from his chair and crouches down in front of Lance.

“You were beautiful,” he says, tilting Lance’s head up to look into his yellow eyes. He helps Lance to his feet.

Lance beams at the compliment, but he's distracted by Azul's mewling. He doesn't think he'd hurt her, she was quick on her feet, but the entire experience must have been jarring for her.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Sendak asks, looking over Lance’s knees and palms with a slight furrow on his brow.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine," Lance shrugs, "just a little banged up. Good thing I wasn't wearing that tunic I put on this morning, I would've torn it for sure."

Azul fidgets in his grasp and Lance reluctantly lets her jump out of his arms as Sendak cups his cheek.

“You say this often, that you will ruin your attire,” Sendak looks down at Lance’s outfit. “These things are replaceable,” he states and tightens his grip. “You are not.”

Lance meets Sendak’s eyes and then lowers his gaze in embarrassment. Sendak was being sweet.

"Well...you spent a lot of money on these tunics and I don't want to ruin them. That'd be ungrateful," Lance points out.

Sendak snorts.

“Ungrateful? Compared to how you behaved before, this would be-“ he cut himself off. “This is nothing.”

Lance yelps as he's suddenly lifted into the air, but really, by this point he shouldn't be surprised by all the manhandling

“In fact,” Sendak purrs, “such good behavior deserves a reward,” he says and kisses along Lance’s jaw. “What should it be?”

"A reward?" Lance repeats, wondering what exactly he'd done to warrant one, but he isn't complaining.

"Hmm...well you did mention something about a pool a while ago," Lance tilts his head and bats his lashes theatrically as he rests his arms on Sendak's shoulder.

Sendak hums.

“You’re right. I did mention that,” he agrees, carrying Lance towards the bed. “And that will be completed. Eventually.”

He must’ve noticed Lance’s skepticism, as he adds, “even high ranking Galra must go through with the permit process,” and nips at Lance’s neck.

Lance raises his chin and silently invites Sendak to mark more of his skin.

"That sounds like a very human system," he remarks with a snort. "Is Zarkon gonna have to sign the papers himself?"

Sendak’s lips turn in a smile.

“Certainly, I would waste Emperor Zarkon’s time with such trivialities,” he states as he sets Lance down on the bed and begins to peel off Lance’s top and shorts.

“No, of course not,” he clarifies with a chuckle and looks down at Lance.

Lance helps Sendak pull off the rest of his clothes from him, raising his hands and hips in the proper moments until he's left bare. Not an unusual state of being for him. Despite this, Lance looks up at Sendak with an unsure smile.

"Hey, do you think I should put on weight?" Lance asks and brushes his hair away from his sweaty brow.

"Hunk said that I'm skin and bones and offered to ask his master to tell you to feed me more...should I? Eat more, or whatever?"

Sendak looks thoughtful and he trails his fingers over Lance’s stomach.

“Do you feel well fed?”

Lance holds his breath as Sendak continues to drag his claws down his sides, on the verge of laughing from the tickling sensation and squirming from arousal from the touch to his sensitive skin. He considers Sendak's question and shrugs.

"I don't go hungry," Lance points out. "But I don't really eat much. Space food kinda sucks."

Sendak hums. “I won’t argue with that. Perhaps, later this quintent, I can take you planet side. You can eat as much as you please.”

"Yeah?" Lance's eyes grow wide with excitement. It's been a while since he'd eaten something, well, solid. The snacks he'd bought at the space mall were long gone.

"I'd like that," Lance decrees and runs his hands over his thighs thoughtfully.

"I think I should try to put on some weight. You shouldn't be the only cuddly one."

Sendak smiles.

"Well, I rather like you cuddling me," he says, pressing his body closer to Lance's.

Lance chuckles and wraps his arms and legs around Sendak, pulling him down against him.

"Is that so?" He drawls and twirls the fur on the back of Sendak's neck with his fingers. "What else do you like that I do?"

Sendak gives a thoughtful hum.

“Well, I certainly like your dancing,” he says, slipping his arm around Lance's waist.

Lance grins.

"And...?" He prompts, rolling his hips just a bit and biting his lip at the sensation of being pressed up against Sendak's uniform. It was a stark contrast to Sendak's usual soft warmth, yet Lance would be lying if he said that it didn't turn him on for one twisted reason or another.

Sendak chuckles, "fishing for more I see?" He nips at Lance's neck and holds him tighter as he rolls his hips.

"Your beauty,” he states, then thoughtfully continues. "And... your generous nature," he glances towards Azul. "It is so unlike anything Galra."

Lance smirks and tilts his head with a content sigh. Yes, of course he was fishing for compliments. There was nothing he liked more than to hear someone sing his praises. But only if they meant it.

And Sendak always meant it.

"Hmm, I dunno 'bout that," Lance squirms a little, getting impatient. He wants Sendak to touch him. Because if he wasn't going to, Lance has every intention of jerking himself off and heading into the bathroom for a much needed shower.

"You've been pretty generous to me," Lance continues and points out. "And you're Galra."

"I guess when it comes to you, even Galra behavior is suspect,” Sendak chuckles and trails his hand down until he cradles Lance's groin in his large palm.

Lance gasps and looks up at Sendak with a scandalized look, as if he hasn't been waiting all evening just for this and practically pushing himself into Sendak's hands.

"Really?" Lance says coyly, flush high in his cheeks. "So you're saying that other Galra might also be as generous as you, when it comes to me?"

Sendak snorts, "sweet one, you give my species a bit too much credit,” he states, rubbing his hand against the sensitive flesh. "Certainly not all would fall for your loveliness." He brushes his finger back and against the curve of Lance's ass.

Sendak's touch was most certainly pleasing, but even as Lance finally gets what he's been after, he finds Sendak's words...not so pleasing.

"Wait, so...is this your way of saying that Galra think I'm ugly?"

Lance pulls away with a pout. With the way the Galra soldiers stared at him in the past, Lance liked to think that at least some of them thought he was attractive. But if what Sendak said is true, then most of those soldiers probably thought that he was no more than some odd, furless animal on a leash.

And for some reason that really bothers him. If Lance doesn't have his charms, then, well...at this point, he doesn't have much else going for him.

Sendak hums thoughtfully, his fingers braced against Lance's warm flesh as he rubs.

"I cannot see what is in their minds, Lance,” he points out, "but what they think of you matters not. Because you are beautiful."

Lance huffs and grabs a nearby pillow, yanking it towards him and hugging it to his chest and putting a bit of a barrier between him and Sendak. His mood has been ruined.

"You're just saying that cuz you're stuck with me," Lance mumbles and looks up at the ceiling.

"Whatever. I don't even know why I care."

Sendak retracts his hand and looks down at Lance.

“Stuck with you?" He repeats, his hand drifting to cup Lance's cheek. "Your Black Paladin can attest to what I do with things that waste my time. I am not stuck with you, boy, I knew you were valuable-"

He leans forward and pulls the pillow out of Lance’s hold.

"-more than even you know."

Lance fidgets, face warm at Sendak's kind words and at the loss of his makeshift barrier. He gives a low whine as Sendak kisses along his throat. No fair. Sendak knew that was one of his weak spots.

"I-I guess I always wanted to know why you, y'know, stopped Zarkon from killing me," Lance finally says, pulse quickening as he voices the question he's wanted to ask since day one.

"I mean. Isn't that dangerous? And like, I was all gross and injured, it wasn't like I was standing there in one of my tunics," Lance quickly adds. "Why did you risk it?"

Sendak looks at Lance and nods.

"Yes, you were worse for wear, and I..."

He chuckles.

“At the time I had no idea what I would do with you."

Sendak tilts Lance's head up to meet his eyes.

"But I told you, I wished to understand you. You and your self-sacrifice."

Sendak’s lips curl in a smirk.

"As for the danger, you know I can face whatever comes, even from my leader."

Lance bites his lip. He wonders if he should even bring it up. If he'd like Sendak's answer. But every time Lance wakes up from the same nightmare, heart pounding in his chest, he swears he'll ask. If there was any way to find reassurance...it was worth it.

And now seems to be an appropriate moment.

"Do you promise?" Lance whispers and wraps his fingers around Sendak's wrist. "I...I get nightmares. About Zarkon changing his mind. Deciding he wants to make an example of me, after all," Lance's voice quivers. He meets Sendak's gaze.

"Would you give me back?"

Sendak frowns.

"I will not," he states, "I will never." He shifts and slides his arm under Lance, cradling him in his lap.

"Zarkon would not change his mind, you staying alive means knowing who the Blue Lion will accept. I have my reasons for having you, but so does Zarkon."

Lance nods, curling up against Sendak's chest. He buries his face in Sendak's fur and swallows thickly, trying to hold back his tears of relief.

Because he believes Sendak. He trusts that he'll stand by his word and keep him away from Zarkon. And that knowledge is enough for him to wrap his arms around Sendak in a tight hug.

"Thank you," he says in a small voice. "I-yeah. Thank you. So much."

Maybe now the nightmares will stop.

Sendak peers down at Lance.

“This has truly upset you?” He asks, his thick brows furrowing. “Do you believe I will bore of you? That you are expendable?” He shifts his arm so Lance has no choice but to look up at him. He brushes his palm against Lance’s thigh.

“Why would I do such a thing when you’ve been so good?”

Lance doesn't want Sendak to look at him, not when he's feeling so vulnerable and messy. But there he is, meeting Sendak's gaze and biting his lip. Does he really have to answer?

"No, it's just...Zarkon is super powerful and takes whatever he wants. And if I-if I'm just this...this pet who doesn't even fight you anymore, then I'm not interesting and...and then maybe it would just be easier to hand me over and find some other challenge."

Sendak snorts, “you think I like you because you are a challenge?” His eyes glint with amusement.

“I have better things to do then break a new... pet,” his lips twist at the word. “You will go nowhere. I remind you, you are an investment.”

Lance gives Sendak a long look, trying to determine his sincerity. That he really meant what he said about not needing a new challenge. Because after spending the past few months with Sendak, Lance is pretty sure that the guy thrives on proving himself and conquering.

But he isn't about to question Sendak about it. Better leave Sendak thinking he truly means it.

"...if you say so," Lance shrugs and leans forward, resting his cheek on Sendak's collar. All of that serious talk and dancing has tired him out.

"Maybe I should learn some new dances, just in case," he mumbles, mostly to himself.

The last thing Lance remembers before nodding off in Sendak’s warm embrace is the hand on his back, holding him close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to spoil anything, but if any of you were wondering if we're close to finishing the story...well, let's just say we aren't even close, haha.


	10. Chapter 10

Lance's nightmares didn’t completely disappeared since his talk with Sendak, but they have been getting better. In the last three weeks, Lance has only woken up twice in a cold sweat and Sendak had been there to comfort him and hold him close while Lance trembled with fear. He always woke up.

Except for tonight.

Lance wakes up with a start, gasping, but Sendak doesn’t even stir at his side. He probably had a long day, Lance guesses as he carefully slips out of Sendak's hold to climb off the bed.

He tiptoes past Azul, asleep on her pillow on the floor, and walks into the bathroom to wash his face. Lance takes a few seconds to collect himself as the water runs, closing his eyes and focusing on his heartbeat.

When he opens his eyes, his reflection isn't the only one in the mirror.

Time slows down as Lance's eyes meet the stranger's in the mirror. He turns around, scrambling blindly to find something sharp on the counter to defend himself with, but the stranger is already on top of him, shoving Lance down to the floor. Another unfamiliar figure appears, hovering over the attacker's shoulder, and Lance screams.

Who are these masked strangers? What do they want from him? How did they even get in?

_Where is Sendak?_

Lance's question is swiftly answered as the distinct sound of a shot echoes off the wall and the second stranger's face disappears from Lance's view as he hears a heavy thud.

Lance freezes in terror as the figure on top of him moves. For a moment, he thinks his attacker is reaching for his companion's weapon. But the stranger completes his movement and aims a weapon Lance hadn’t spotted before at the doorway.

Lance's breath catches in his throat as he hears Sendak's pained growl.

Lance cries out, thrashing his limbs in an effort to escape his attacker's hold, and he squeezes his eyes shut as he hears more shots. They flash open as he's suddenly completely covered by his attacker's body.

Bile burns his throat as Lance realizes that his attacker is dead.

The weight is almost immediately lifted off of him and Lance finds himself upright, removed a few feet away from the two bodies on the floor.

“Are you hurt?” Sendak demands to know in a rough voice.

No, Lance isn't hurt. He's shaken.

Despite being a paladin, Lance has never seen anyone die before. At least, not that he can remember. Coran's death is a vague, blurry memory and for a moment, Lance recoils from Sendak's touch, remembering that he'd been the one to pull the trigger.

But Lance's revulsion only lasts until he notices Sendak's eye. His own eyes widen and he gasps, reaching out to cup Sendak's face.

"Your eye!" Lance exclaims, panic welling in his chest. "You're hurt! Are you in pain? We need to get you to a doctor!"

Sendak grabs his hands and holds them tightly in his large palm.

"Lance," he says low in his throat, "tell me if you are hurt."

"I'm fine!" Lance snaps and looks around for a sign of a first aid kit, if they even had them in space. But his eyes catch the two fallen bodies instead and he takes a deep, shuddering breath before turning to look back at Sendak.

He'll unpack that later.

…and maybe inspect his body for bruises because he's pretty sure his attacker had left a few when he'd pushed him down and then fell on top him, but bruises were nothing in comparison to Sendak's wound.

"You're bleeding," Lance adds and squeezes Sendak's hand. "Please, you need to get help. Now!"

Sendak stares at him for a brief moment before waving dismissively.

"I'll live,” he states and looks down at their entwined hands. "Shush, enough of your panic. I'll go to a healing pod,” he adds and starts to walk a few steps before losing his balance.

Lance's panic at seeing Sendak's injured eye is nothing in comparison to his reaction when Sendak falls to the floor. He yells and rushes over to him, tasting fear on his tongue as he sees Sendak's unfocused expression and his face damp with sweat.

Sendak needs his help and Lance has no idea how to give it to him.

"Please," Lance begs, shaking Sendak's shoulder. "Tell me what to do! Who do I call?"

Lance doesn't even know how he'd contact anyone. The doors won't slide open for him.

Sendak looks up and grunts, climbing back to his feet. He takes a few more steps, Lance still clinging to his hand, before opening the door with a swish.

The sentries in front of their room were no more than a pile of useless pieces.

"Lance, get a sentry,” Sendak orders and lowers himself to his knees. Before Lance can go, however, Sendak grabs his hand.

“No, wait, you should not go alone, I will go with you."

Lance's panic isn't as all-consuming as it had been moments before, not when Sendak had shown that he was capable of walking out of their room. Now that Lance is past the sliding doors, he can go get help. He isn't completely useless anymore.

...or he could run to the nearest escape pod. Lance knows the ship has at least one.

Biting his lip, Lance shakes his head and pulls his hand out of Sendak's shaky grasp.

"No, you're staying right here," Lance says forcefully and takes a step back. The hall is cold and all he's wearing is his sleeping tunic, but that isn't going to stop him from seeking help. "I'll go find someone."

And before Sendak can protest, Lance is running through the corridor, looking around for a sign of life. He sees a number of slashed sentries, which doesn't bode well, but Lance doesn't let that deter him. He's going to save Sendak.

When Lance finally comes across real, live guards, he hesitates for a moment before running up to them. He'd wanted to find a sentry, something that doesn't look like the guy who'd just attacked him, but beggars can't be choosers.

His pulse quickens as he's suddenly grabbed and pinned to the wall before he can even open his mouth and speak. Without his armor or bayard, he has very little to protect himself with from a Galra's brute force. And with his current state of dress, Lance would normally be mortified.

But Lance thinks about Sendak, kneeling on the floor in front of their room, hurt, and that's enough for him to gather his courage and speak up when the guard demand to know if he’s trying to escape.

"No," Lance says forcefully, blinking back his tears. "I'm getting help! Sendak is hurt and he needs you!"

The guard pinning him to the wall scowls.

“Do you think this is enough to distract us? We will just be taking you back to Sendak.”

The other guard grabs his chin and gives Lance a long look before pursing his lips and stepping back.

“Gaset, let’s go.”

Lance winces as the grip on his arms tightens and he fidgets as he’s touched, but at the promise of being taken back to Sendak, Lance lets it slide and nods. He doesn't care if they think he's lying. As long as it means that they'll follow him back to Sendak and see the state he's in, it really didn't matter.

"We need to hurry," Lance adds and frowns as the guard's hold on him doesn't loosen. "And you can let go, I'm not gonna run. You're hurting me."

The guard hesitates before releasing his hold with a nod from his partner. Lance rolls his shoulders and immediately turns around, intent on leading the guard back to Sendak. He anxiously worries his lip as they reach the room and find Sendak in a worsened state.

Lance hovers next to him as the two guards lift Sendak up and winces when Sendak makes a pained sound.

The guard who had grabbed his chin turns to Lance with a crease in his brow.

“Get inside the Commander’s chambers.”

"But," Lance protests, not wanting to go back into the room alone. Without Sendak. With two dead men on the bathroom floor. "Where are you taking him? Is he going to be okay?"

“He will be fine,” the guard says dismissively, “get inside now.”

When Lance doesn’t move, the guard’s eyes narrow.

“I won’t say it again.”

Lance can't go back in there. Not by himself. But the guard doesn't look like the type who'd care about his discomfort as long as he got the job done. Lance wonders what the guard would do if he continues to refuse.

But maybe it was worth giving it a shot.

"There are dead people in there," he says hoarsely, taking a step closer to Sendak and wishing he could just take his hand and curl up next to him for comfort. But maybe he shouldn't be wasting the guards' time like this. Every second he's refusing them is a second they could've gotten Sendak the help he needs.

“Doesn’t matter. Get inside,” the guard orders, unphased, and lifts his weapon with his free hand.

“Now.”

Lance takes a step back but can't seem to move any further than that. The thought of being alone for who knows how long with those dead bodies is enough to paralyse him. Even Azul's company wouldn't be enough to reassure him. If anything, Lance would be terrified that the assassins would wake up and come for her next. And then him.

"I can't," Lance whispers and starts to shake. The tears fall freely down his cheeks and he doesn't even try to swallow his sobs. "I can't!"

“Do it,” the guard snaps. “The longer you delay this, the worse the Commander gets.”

Lance flinches at the implication and stares at Sendak, who'd already slipped out of consciousness. He wants to be good. He wants to be brave enough to suck it up and just go back into the room.

But he can't.

"Take me with you," Lance suggests, a last, desperate attempt. "Please, don't make me go back in there!"

The guard growls and Lance flinches, expecting him to attack, but it’s the other guard, Gaset, who drops his hold on Sendak and approaches him.

Lance jumps back in alarm but isn't quick enough to dodge the angry guard who grabs him and shoves him back into the room. The doors slide shut, leaving Lance alone inside.

"No!" Lance yells and bangs on the doors. "Let me out! Please! Don't leave me here!"

After a few more minutes of screaming and banging, Lance sinks to the floor with a sob. He doesn't calm down, not even when Azul finally dares to approach him and curls into his arms, seeking her own comfort.

Lance doesn't dare move. He doesn't even turn on the lights. He's terrified it will wake the attackers, that they'd only just been knocked out. If he makes a sound, if the light turns on, they'll know he's there.

The fact that his previous screaming could've woken the dead doesn't even occur to him.

Eventually, Lance drifts off into a restless sleep on the cold floor next to the doors as exhaustion finally claims him.

After what must have been a few hours later Lance startles awake with a pained gasp as someone kicks him. He scrambles back, away from the intruder. Lance looks up, heart pounding, as he tries to make out the figure in the dark. Once his eyes adjust to the light from the hallway, he recognizes one of the guards who'd taken Sendak away.

“Get up. I’m taking you to the Commander.”

Wordlessly, Lance stands up, scooping Azul into his trembling arms as he tries not to show how shaken he is by it all. He can feel the dried tear tracks on his cheeks and his tunic is stained, but Lance doesn't ask for time to make himself presentable before leaving the room and following the guard, Azul cradled closely to his chest.

It wasn't like he was about to walk into the bathroom to freshen up with those dead bodies in there.

Lance follows the guard down the hall and into what must be a healing chamber, where Sendak was suspended in a glowing pod. The guard pushes Lance further into the room and then grabs a pair of metal cuffs.

"You will remain by his side until he has healed,” the guard instructs as he fastens the cuffs around Lance’s wrists.

Lance makes a face, but doesn't fight it. He's too tired for that and grateful to be out of the room. He'll just put something on to soothe the chaffed skin later, a cream or maybe one of his oils. He stares at Sendak, unconscious in the healing pod, before sinking down onto the floor, Azul curled in his lap.

"When will he wake up?" He asks the guard, voice hoarse.

“Six to twelve vargas,” the guard states before he turns to leave.

Six to twelve vargas. That meant hours. Did this guard really expect him to sit there for that long? What if he needed to go to the bathroom? Or-

The guard suddenly comes to a stop in front of the door and turns around.

"Human, are you in need of food?"

"...I could use some water," Lance says slowly. His throat is sore. "And maybe some food for Azul? She hasn't had her breakfast yet."

The guard nods.

“Stay put or I will chain to you the wall,” he warns before leaving the room.

Lance rolls his eyes and looks back up at Sendak. He wonders what he'd think of the way his guards have been treating him.

But really, Lance doesn't envy any of the guards on the ship. They'd failed to, well, guard. Sendak won't be pleased.

...he just hopes Sendak will wake up. What happens if he doesn't? What if he dies?

Lance somehow manages to tear up again at the thought, despite having previously cried himself dry. Azul looks up at him in what Lance would like to think is concern and he takes a deep breath, leaning back against the cold glass.

He just wants Sendak to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter? Early update! ;) 
> 
> And yep you guessed it, this is our version of how Sendak lost his eye!


	11. Chapter 11

Lance opens his eyes as he feels someone touching his hands. Was Azul playing with his cuffs again?

But then the metal weight disappears and Lance focuses on the looming figure kneeling in front of him.

Sendak.

"You're awake!" Lance gasps and launches forward, wrapping his arms around Sendak's shoulders and burying his face in his neck. The tears start to fall again but Lance doesn't care.

"Are you okay?" Lance asks, unwilling to pull away. "How do you feel? Does your eye still hurt you? Can you see? Are you healed now?"

Sendak hums and wraps his arm under Lance's legs, lifting him up as he stands.

"I am fine," he states. "My eye... The druids will assess the damage, but I will be fine."

Lance processes the information with a nod. He doesn't quite understand it, but if Sendak needs to go to the druids, then that's that. Maybe healing pods could only heal you up to a point.

Sendak adjusts his hand, cupping Lance's ass as he looks down at him.

"Are you alright? Who took me to the pod?"

"I'm fine," Lance shrugs. "I found two guards and they brought you here."

Sendak clears his throat as he carries Lance out the door.

"You should've never been in that sort of danger,” he says in a gruff voice.

Lance looks over his shoulder, making sure that Azul was following them, before turning back and considering Sendak's statement.

"...who were those people?" He asks quietly. "Why did they attack us?"

"I do not yet know,” Sendak admits and shifts Lance so that their eyes can meet, "but it will never be repeated."

Biting his lip, Lance turns his head away and looks with apprehension at the doors to their room as they grow close. He fidgets in Sendak's hold.

"I don't want to go back in there," he whispers.

"I am certain my crew has gotten rid of the attackers,” Sendak soothes and draws Lance closer, placing a kiss to his forehead. "There is nothing to fear."

Lance shakes his head.

"No, I can't," he says, voice rising an octave. "I just can't. Please. I can't go back in there."

Sendak pauses and looks at Lance quizzically before settings him down and tilting his head up.

"Tell me why and I will not make you."

Memories of the paralysing fear Lance had experienced, banging on the unyielding doors in the dark and crying to be let out, wash over Lance and his knees buckle. His chest hurts and his breathing becomes laboured. His palms grow slick with sweat and he rubs them over his shaking knees.

When he opens his mouth to try and make his case, the words don't come out. He tries again. No success. Frustrated, Lance resorts to shaking his head frantically.

Lance can tell Sendak is alarmed what with the way he immediately lifts him back up into his arms and cradles him close.

"We will not go back until you are ready," he states, walking with Lance to his commander station on the deck. "I will ask you again, later, what happened. I expect an answer,” he says as he sits down in his chair with Lance nestled in his lap.

"Is that understood?"

Lance wordlessly nods, gratitude and fatigue washing over him as he settles in Sendak's lap, pressing himself as close to Sendak as possible.

He was being ridiculous- Sendak was the one who'd been injured. He should be comforting Sendak, not the other way around.

But Lance appreciates it all the same. He can't imagine a time in which he'd feel ready to go back to their room, though.

.x.

When Lance wakes up, he's relieved to find himself still in Sendak's lap. Not in the room. He makes a sound and he stretches a little before flopping back against Sendak's chest and rubbing his cheek against his soft fur, content to just sit there. With Sendak. Alive and warm.

"Sleep well, sweet one?" Sendak asks, brushing a hand through Lance's hair.

Lance hums and nods, enjoying the gentle touch.

"Mhm," he says, closing his eyes.

Sendak’s touch falters.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened while I slumbered?"

Lance stiffens at the question and keeps his eyes closed. He sits in silence for a long moment before tightening his grip on Sendak.

It was okay. What happened was in the past. He isn't anywhere near the room.

"I...I ran and found some guards to help you," he starts, wetting his lips. "When we got to you, they wanted me to go back into the room and wait. But the bodies were still in the bathroom," Lance says in a small voice.

"And I-I was scared that maybe they weren't dead and would come for me so I asked to go with you but they just-they just shoved me in and locked the doors and it was dark and cold and I was scared and nobody would open the doors and it was just me, Azul and those dead guys and I just-"

Lance shakes his head against Sendak's chest.

"I thought I was going to die."

Sendak’s grip tightens as he states in a low tone, “they will be punished. And you will not be alone when we return there,” he adds as he rubs his hand across Lance’s flesh.

"I will protect you,” Sendak reminds him, "and I will never let you die." He rests his head on top of Lance's and nuzzles him.

Lance sniffs and bites his lip, a little overwhelmed by the sudden way in which Sendak is covering him from all angles. But he finds that he likes it. It's comforting, being reminded of how Sendak is there. Protecting him.

He indulges in the feeling for a while before a thought occurs to him.

"...there was one who came back for me," he speaks up. "He took me to you. He was nicer than the other one."

Sendak nods, quiet, before he leans back and adjusts Lance so he can see the expanse of space before them.

"We are returning to Zarkon's territory," he states slowly, a hand resting on Lance's stomach. "I will need to order new Sentries, and of course, it seems we both have surgeries in our future,” he points out with a wry smile.

Lance pensively stares out of the window at the velvety darkness of space.

He doesn't want to go back to Zarkon. Going back meant being paraded, sitting on his knees at meetings and going to those painful events where he had to see his friends stripped of their pride. Where they had to see him.

Going back meant being with other Galra and Lance isn't sure how that will affect Sendak's treatment of him. If he'll go back to shutting him up and dragging him along with that chain and cuffs.

Going back meant getting the surgery, which Lance still doesn't want. He's perfectly happy with the way things are now.

He looks up with a frown at the insinuation that Sendak would need one as well. He meets Sendak's eyes and notices with a start that the injured one wasn't focused on him while the healthy eye was.

He'd lost an eye while protecting him.

An array of conflicting emotions well up in Lance and he raises his hand to Sendak's cheek, cupping it.

"Thank you for saving my life," he says solemnly. "For the second time."

Sendak leans into the touch.

"Always," he states deep in his throat. He’s silent for a moment before adding, "I... may be able to arrange something with your friends when we return."

Lance brushes his thumb over Sendak's cheek before lowering his hand back to his lap. He raises a brow at Sendak's offer and thinks about it.

His meetings with his friends have not gone well so far, to put it lightly. Keith had almost been forced to hurt him, and his meeting with Hunk had been upsetting. It was easier to enjoy his time with Sendak when Lance wasn't surrounded by the people who reminded him of the messed up situation he was in.

Does he really want to see them again?

_Of course I do_, an impatient voice insists inside of him, and Lance knows it's right. He wants to see his friends, regardless of what will happen. He won't let his fear stop him from doing things he wants to do.

"I'd like that," Lance says softly and leans back against Sendak's chest. "I hope they're okay."

Sendak nods and hums. “They will have grown accustomed to their station, just as you have,” he reminds Lance and peers down at him with his good eye.

Lance purses his lips, already feeling the prickling of indignation at Sendak's words. And they aren't even in Zarkon's territory, yet! What will happen when they're actually there?

But Sendak’s following words completely distract Lance.

"Mm, I think it’s time you bathe," Sendak states. "I will be with you,” he adds in a gentle tone.

"...can't we just stay in a different room?" Lance asks, digging his nails into his palms.

Sendak shakes his head. "I have no other room to offer," he states with a sigh. "Now I'm asking you to be brave for me." He tilts Lance's head up. "It is just to clean up, Lance, do not fear."

Lance wants to point out that no, it's not just cleaning up, it's literally returning to the same exact spot he'd been attacked and where the dead bodies had been last time he'd checked. It doesn't matter if they've been moved, Lance will always see them, lying there. He'll never be able to look in a mirror again without Sendak in the room with him.

But...Sendak had been brave, fighting and saving them both. Compared to that, agreeing to take a bath was a joke. Logically speaking, there was no reason for him not to get over himself and just go.

So though every part of him doesn't want to go back to the room in the worst way, Lance gives a hesitant nod.

“I-I’ll think about it,” he says with a clear tremor in his voice. He thinks that Sendak might argue, carry him into the room as some form of extreme exposure therapy, but Sendak does neither. He merely sits in silence and returns his hand to Lance’s head, running his claws through Lance’s hair.

Lance knows he’s on borrowed time, but he tries not to think about it as he closes his eyes once more and focuses on Sendak’s touch.

.x.

Lance takes another bite of the Galran pastry that is currently warming up his hands as he sits, curled up in Sendak's chair on the deck. Sendak had found him something sweet for breakfast on Zarkon’s ship, in what Lance is sure was an attempt to soothe his nerves and cheer him up.

But as much as he's enjoying eating solid food, not even his mother's cooking would be enough to convince him to return to the room he'd almost been murdered in.

Where Sendak had almost been murdered in.

...okay, maybe his mother's cooking might do the trick, but as it would be impossible for Sendak to get his hands on it, returning to their chambers really was out of the question.

Sendak has been trying to reason with him, and logically speaking, Lance agrees with every word. The attackers were gone. Their bed was much more comfortable than the chairs on the deck. Azul was obviously disgruntled with her change of environment.

But Lance just can't. His body physically reacts to the mere thought of returning to the room he'd spent hours upon hours alone in the dark in, curled next to the door and begging for help.

Lance sighs and licks the crumbs off his fingers. He wishes Sendak would just get them a different room. Or even better, a different ship. He kept saying how he has lots of money. Why not use it for something more practical than tunics and pastries?

The doors to the deck slide open and Lance brightens as Sendak walks in.

"Hey!" Lance greets him with a smile and stretches his arms over his head. "Is the technician working on the security system?"

Sendak glances at Lance and gives him a short nod. “She’s on her way.” He leans down and brushes crumbs from the corner of Lance’s mouth.

“This will take many vargas, you should find something to entertain yourself.”

Lance tilts his face into Sendak's touch, humming at the gesture and contemplating what exactly his options are.

"Maybe I can take Azul out into the halls for a bit, she's getting-"

The doors slide open again and a sentry walks in. Lance's eyes widen and he gasps as a familiar figure is roughly dropped onto the floor.

"Pidge?" Lance calls out and immediately scrambles out of his chair, pushing past Sendak and running over, intent on helping Pidge stand up. Once Pidge is on his feet Lance pulls him close into a tight hug.

"It's so good to see you," Lance whispers, tears stinging his eyes.

Pidge flinches.

“Lance,” he says in a measured tone. “You too...”

Lance gives Pidge one last squeeze before taking a step back and assessing him. His heart aches when he sees the dark circles under Pidge's eyes and the way his clothes hang over his small frame. It wasn't the prisoner garb Lance last saw him in, but still.

"I didn't expect to see you, but I'm so glad you're here," Lance says and looks over his shoulder at Sendak with a scowl.

"Look, just because Pidge is short doesn't mean he's a girl. Unless Pidge isn't the technician you were talking about?" Lance tilts his head. That could be it, but why else would Pidge be here?

Sendak looks absently at Lance, but doesn’t respond.

“You have your task, Green Paladin,” he states coolly. “I suggest you get to it.”

Lance frowns and steps back as Pidge brushes past him and walks over to a panel. A code appears in front of him and he starts to type with the same furious intensity Lance has seen him type with even back at the Garrison.

But he doesn't like the way Sendak is treating Pidge. It would probably be better if Sendak wasn't in the room.

"Hey, you're making him nervous," Lance huffs and leans down to pick up Azul. He walks over to Sendak and deposits Azul into his arms. "Go take Azul out for some fresh air while Pidge is here, okay? I'll stay here and make sure everything is okay."

He offers Sendak a warm smile.

"Please?"

Sendak looks down disdainfully at Azul, who was doing her best to claw her way out of his hold.

“Fine,” Sendak grumbles and gives Lance a long look before leaving the room.

Lance watches Sendak leave with a satisfied smile before turning back to Pidge. He isn't sure what to say and stands there awkwardly for a minute before Pidge stops his typing and speaks up.

“I’m a woman,” Pidge states absently before returning to the screen.

Lance stares back at him blankly. No, wait, her?

".....what," Lance states rather than asks and walks over to Pidge, taking her hand and gently tugging her away from the screen.

"You- what? How? Since when?"

Pidge looks at him with a frown.

“Since birth,” she says bluntly, turning back to the screen. “I had to get into the Garrison to search for my brother and dad.”

She shrugs off Lance’s touch.

“Didn’t work the way any of us wanted. Surprise,” she monotones and looks back at Lance.

Lance is more confused after Pidge's explanation than he'd been before. He allows Pidge to go back to her code and waits half a minute before clearing his throat.

"But...the Garrison accepts women. You didn't have to pretend to be a guy," Lance says carefully, not quite sure if he wanted to force Pidge to expand on her apparently painful past. It only makes Lance realize how little he knows about her.

Pidge snorts, “I know that. What they don’t accept are people who sneak into their headquarters to catch them in their lie.”

Her eyes glaze over.

“And I was right all along.” She grows quiet. Her body does a short spasm before she looks back at Lance. “And you? You get a cat?” She asks, her voice even.

Lance gives Pidge a worried look, wanting to ask her more about her missing brother and father, but her expression goes blank and Lance can't bring himself to ask, not even to sate his curiosity. He's grateful when she changes the topic and quickly latches onto it.

"Azul? Yeah, I found her in this Earth store at a space mall and I couldn't just leave her there. Who knows how long she would've lasted there? She was kinda scared at first, but now she loves it here!"

Pidge leans back a little. “You don’t-” she starts and frowns. “Hunk said-” she shakes her head. “At least one of us is happy,” she finishes.

Lance's grin disappears at Pidge's bitter tone.

"What did Hunk say? How is he?" Lance asks, rubbing his arm. "How....how are you? Are they treating you well?"

Pidge fidgets.

“Besides the daily threats to kill my family? Oh, I’m just peachy.” She says and turns back to the screen.

“Hunk is... I don’t know... he’s just existing these days.”

Lance takes a step back and inhales sharply.

"You mean- they've got your father and brother? Here?" Lance asks, wondering how that could've happened. Pidge mentioned they were missing, but Lance didn't think the Galra would have anything to do with it. He doesn't even want to think about Sendak having any contact with his family.

Pidge blinks. “Yes,” she says shortly. “Of course they are. God, why are you such an idiot.”

Lance flinches. He'd usually lash out if someone called him an idiot, he's always been sensitive about people commenting on his academic abilities, but he can see the tears in Pidge's eyes. He can't snap back at her, not when she was in such a horrible situation.

Not to mention that his mother taught him better than to raise his voice at a girl. Except for his sisters. He'd gotten into lots of fights with them.

"I'm so sorry, Pidge," Lance says quietly and hesitates before stepping forward and placing a hand on Pidge's shoulder. "Is there anything I can do? I can try...I could talk to Sendak. See if he can do anything to help."

Pidge momentarily tenses before relaxing against Lance’s hand.

“I don’t want anything to do with him,” she answers shortly. “There’s nothing you can do, just go back to whatever messed up domestic bliss you’ve come up with.” She pulls away and clicks several keys.

“It’s not like you were any help before all this,” she bites her lip and averts her gaze.

Lance's hand drops when Pidge pulls away and he does nothing to return it. It was one thing to be told by Sendak, who'd been an enemy, that he wasn't meant to be a paladin. But for Pidge to think that he was useless? Someone he was supposed to be part of a team with?

It was like Pidge was trying to take him down, word by word, and Lance isn't sure how to defend himself.

"I'm the Blue Paladin. Blue chose me for a reason," Lance states, though his voice trembles. He tries to forget Sendak's comment about Blue making the wrong choice, that he never should've been forced into the role of Paladin.

Pidge flinches. “Yeah, well, none of the lions are coming to our rescue,” she replies. “So I guess we all got it wrong. But it looks like you’re doing okay.”

Lance purses his lips.

"I'm not living in some kind of twisted domestic bliss! Do you think I chose any of this?"

“None of us chose this, Lance, but you’re the only one benefiting from it,” Pidge snaps before her expressions sobers and she looks back at the screen, not before giving his outfit a long look.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, “it’s not your fault.”

Lance flushes and crosses his arms against his chest. He doesn't miss Pidge's judgmental look.

"No, it's not," Lance agrees. "And I'm being used just as much as you and Hunk are. Sure, I'm not wearing an electric collar anymore, but this is...a different kind of abuse."

The word feels heavy on Lance's tongue, like it didn't belong there. Not so long ago he'd be ready to use it without a second thought, but Lance has to wonder when his life on Sendak's ship stopped feeling like torture.

Pidge offers a reluctant sigh and shrugs.

“Okay,” she says quietly and steps back from the screen. “The scan is done.”

Lance bites his lip and feels absolutely awful for snapping at Pidge like that. She'd been mean, but her situation was a lot worse than his own. He needed to be compassionate, not to defend the last shreds of his pride.

"Okay," he says quietly and looks around the room, wishing he could go back to his chambers and give something to Pidge. But even if he were to be brave enough to go in there, Lance is pretty sure Sendak would object. As would Pidge's superior.

"I wish I could do something to help," he says in a small voice. "Are you sure you don't want Sendak to speak to your boss? It's the least I can do."

Pidge shakes her head, “no. I’d rather you don’t. Last thing I need is to give them more ammunition.” She walks to him and squeezes his arm, “you’ve gotta be the dumbest sweetest person I know.”

Lance swallows thickly and nods. He offers Pidge a half-smile. He isn't about to get mad at her for calling him dumb. His last meeting with another paladin ended on a sour note and prematurely because he got angry. Lance doesn't want that to happen again.

"Thanks, I guess," Lance says and worries his lip before pulling Pidge into another hug. "You're still the smartest person I know. Don't tell Hunk I said that."

Pidge offers a sly grin. “Oh, he knows.”

Her smile dulls.

“Do you ever see the others?”

Lance's smile fades completely as he thinks about the last time he saw Shiro and Keith.

"I know they're alive," Lance says quietly. "Shiro isn't himself, and I'm afraid Keith might also lose himself to the arena."

Before Pidge can respond, the doors slide open. Lance startles and he can immediately tell that Sendak is in a foul mood. The gauze over his eye was torn and Azul was trying her best to scratch her way free from Sendak's hold.

Oh, boy.

“Are you finished?” Sendak demands with a scowl and Pidge nods.

“Good,” Sendak says in a clipped tone and turns to Lance. “See to your creature,” he orders.

Lance knows his influence is minimal when Sendak is like this and though he wishes he could spend some more time talking to Pidge, he nods and silently takes Azul from Sendak. He steps back and rubs Azul's back comfortingly as he warily watches Sendak walk over to Pidge.

Lance can taste Pidge's uneasiness on his tongue as Sendak leans over her and listens to her analysis. He debates interrupting but Pidge is quick to finish and Sendak is already pulling back and looking at her with disinterest.

Good. The less Sendak focused on Pidge, the better. The last thing Lance wants is for her to say or do something that would cause Sendak to lash out. Maybe he should've thought twice about giving Azul to him.

"...your eye needs a new patch," Lance walks over to Sendak and points out. He leans down and prompts Azul to jump out of his arms. When he leans back up, he carefully takes Sendak's arm and pulls him to the other side of the room where he'd seen Sendak stash the medical equipment the druids had given him after the attack.

"Here, let me help you."

Sendak scowls but follows Lance. He's seated by the time Lance returns with the medical supplies.

"The Green Paladin seems calmer," he remarks as Lance pulls off the gauze. "What did you speak about?"

Lance quickly looks away as he peels the gauze off Sendak's injured eye. It wasn't anything close to the bloody state it'd been in when he'd been initially shot, but it was still distressing. The healing pod had done most of the work cleaning Sendak's eye, but he still needed to keep it covered until his eyesight returned.

The druid had said that the chances were slim to none that Sendak would ever be able to see with his injured eye again and that an operation was inevitable, but Lance clings to the hope that one day Sendak will wake up and see him with both eyes. If that happens, he might just be able to forget that Sendak had almost lost his eye for him.

And maybe, perhaps, he'd be able to forget the entirety of that awful, awful night.

"Oh, well, nothing special," Lance says distractedly as he carefully cuts a clean slice of gauze from the roll in the first aid kit he'd found. "Pidge explained why she'd pretended to be a boy all this time. I think talking about it helped her calm down."

Lance decisively omits the part about Pidge's father and brother. He'd promised not to involve Sendak, and if anything, Lance is a man of his word. Usually.

Sendak nods slowly, wincing only as Lance tends to his wound.

"Well, I did say I would allow you to see one of your friends,” he says in a measured tone, eye focusing on Lance as he redressed his injured eye.

Lance raises an unimpressed brow.

"Somehow I get the feeling you didn't go out of your way for me to see Pidge," Lance says dryly as he tapes the gauze over Sendak's eye and gently smoothes the edges, "but I appreciate it anyway."

Sendak offers an indignant look and huffs.

“Yes, well, she’s here now.” He agrees and shifts away as Lance finishes. “Were you trained in medicine?” He asks, his hand going to the new patch.

Lance shakes his head with an amused grin.

"Nah, I took a first aid course as part of my lifeguard training, but I'm not a doctor or anything. Come to think of it," Lance looks at Sendak curiously, "I wonder how much human medicine is relevant to Galra....if at all."

Sendak offers a small smile, shrugging. “Perhaps it is.”

He sits back and looks at Lance before pulling him close.

“Go on back to your friend.”

Lance shoots Pidge a furtive glance. She isn't currently looking at them, but the possibility of her turning her head at any moment and seeing him in Sendak's arms makes Lance nervous.

"Yeah, okay," Lance mumbles and tries to pull away, cheeks warm.

Pidge looks up when Lance returns.

“So Hunk was right, then. Sendak is using you for...”

Lance's eyes widen.

Fuck, Pidge had seen them. Sure, he'd hinted at his circumstances before, but it was another thing seeing it in person. Pidge's neutral tone gives nothing away and Lance can't tell what she's thinking.

"...yes," Lance confirms and crosses his arms against his chest.

Pidge gives him a look before returning to her work. “That sucks. I’m sorry.”

Blinking, Lance remains silent for a moment before clearing his throat. He isn't sure what he was expecting, but a part of him is relieved that Pidge isn't making a huge deal out of it.

"Thanks. I guess," Lance shrugs and turns to look at the screen Pidge was typing away on.

"Um...do you know who broke in through Sendak's security?"

“Yeah... I think so...” she says distractedly.

"Wait, really?" Lance gasps and moves closer to the screen, squinting and trying to make sense of the writing, but it was all in Galra. He huffs and takes a step back.

"So who is it?"

Pidge shrugs, “not for certain, but this name keeps popping up.” She points at a string of Galran text.

“So.... I mean, they aren’t smart enough to like, hide themselves.”

Lance frowns and gives the screen one last try before rushing over to Sendak and grabbing his hand.

"Pidge thinks she knows who broke in," he says hurriedly and tugs Sendak back across the room to Pidge and her screen.

Pidge points to the string of text she’d showed Lance.

"This keeps popping up, I think it's a Commander," she says. Sendak’s eyes narrow as he looks at the screen.

Lance releases Sendak's hand and steps back, giving Pidge and Sendak their space as he nervously waits for Sendak to identify the name. Was it someone he knows? Why would another Galra commander target Sendak? Weren't they all supposed to be working together under the Emperor?

"Prorok." He growls and then looks down at Pidge.

"Is the security updated?"

Pidge nods slowly.

"Good. You are dismissed,” he states then turns and grabs Lance's arm.

“You are to return to our chambers until I deal with this, is that understood?" He says, loud enough that Pidge winces with sympathy.

Lance startles as Sendak suddenly grabs his arm. He hasn't been this rough with him or given him orders in such a harsh tone that left no room for argument in a long time. Lance wonders if it's because of this Prorok that supposedly sent the assassins. Lance can understand that.

But he really wishes Sendak had ordered him to go anywhere else but to their room. Sendak knows how scared he is. Was he intentionally setting him up for an act of disobedience? For punishment?

Lance had been under the impression they were past that.

"...can't I stay here?" Lance says in his most non-argumentative tone. He doesn't want to start a fight, especially not with Pidge in the room. A few months back he would've tried to resist, to show Pidge that Sendak hadn't broken him.

But Lance has learned that not every order was worth fighting over. Not when someone he cares about could be affected by his actions.

Sendak lets out a long-suffering sigh and his grip tightens on Lance.

"This is for your own good. Do not fight with me on this."

Flinching both at the sigh and at the tightening grip on his arm, Lance's pulse quickens and he can feel it in his temples. He doesn't want to go back there. Not in a million years, and certainly not alone.

But he knows better than to cross Sendak when he was in one of his moods.

Lance's panicked gaze falls on Pidge and he gets an idea. He looks back up at Sendak and bites his lip.

"Can Pidge come with me and keep me company until you're back?"

Sendak purses his lips.

"No. It is time for the Green Paladin to return to her duties. And for you to follow my order."

Lance can't help it, he opens his mouth and fully intends on pleading his case when Sendak refuses him. He just can't go back, and begging isn't beneath him when it comes to returning to the place he'd spent many miserable hours in, crying and screaming in the dark.

But Lance doesn't get the chance. Sendak grabs him and hauls him over his shoulder before he manages to get a word out.

Lance can't tell which emotion overwhelms him the most- his panic and fear, or his humiliation over Pidge seeing him like this. Tears blur his vision either way but he does recognize Azul trailing behind them as Sendak carries him past the sliding doors and down the hall.

Lance can't stop his trembling as he's carried into their room and is set down on top of the bed. His breaths come in short, panicked gasps as he scrambles after Sendak's retreating form, passing by Azul who promptly jumps onto the bed and curls up in the spot he'd just vacated.

"Don't leave me here!" Lance cries out and grabs the sleeve of Sendak's uniform. "Lock me up in a closet, I don't care, just anywhere but here!"

Sendak shakes his head.

“Your weakness is shameful,” he states coolly before taking him by the hand and leading him back into the hall.

Lance's face flushes at Sendak's cutting words, but he can't find it in him to care enough about his apparent weakness as it had gotten him what he wanted. His breathing is significantly less labored by the time he climbs up on top of one of the white beds in the medical bay.

“Do not ask favors of me in front of others,” Sendak states firmly. “I will not oblige your needs.”

He cups Lance’s chin.

“Am I understood?”

"Yes," Lance says in a small voice and looks away. He doesn't like it when Sendak talks to him this way.

Sendak looks down at him once more and rests a hand on his shoulder before releasing him and walking away.

Lance isn’t sure if he likes the way relief blossoms in his chest as he watches Sendak go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter this week, and we finally get to hear from Pidge! We'd love to hear from all of you as well ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter contains a number of dark themes, so if you'd rather know what you're getting into before reading, feel free to scroll down to the end notes for the warnings.

It takes a few days for Sendak to coax Lance back to their room, but Lance eventually breaks and agrees to return to their chambers. There might have been some bribery involved, but ultimately Lance knew that he would have to go back to the room eventually. He couldn’t keep sleeping on the uncomfortable mattress on the deck every night and the showers in the guards’ locker room left much to be desired.

Besides, as long as Sendak was with him in the room, Lance didn’t feel so scared.

The problem was that Sendak couldn’t be in the room all the time.

"I must attend a meeting,” Sendak announces the morning after their first night back in their bed. “I know you are tired, but unless you accompany me, I have no choice but to keep you inside our chambers.”

Lance's eyes go wide at the prospect of being left in the room alone, for who knew how long. He really doesn’t want to attend a meeting, but being alone in their haunted room was far worse than braving a few hours on his knees.

He could just zone out and then go back with Sendak to their room. Together.

"I'll go," Lance says quickly and sits up on the bed. His sleeping tunic shifts to reveal most of his shoulder as he stands up, looking blearily around the room.

"What should I wear?"

Sendak smiles and slides open the door to Lance’s closet. He pulls out a blue tunic with dark Galran purple pants.

“Will this do?”

Lance appraises Sendak's choice and nods in approval.

"Yeah, that's good," he says, thinking about his knees. He likes those pants, they're soft. He climbs off the bed and walks over to Sendak. Lance takes the clothes from him and quickly pulls them on.

"Do we have a few minutes for me to get ready? Or do we need to go?"

Ever since buying out the Earth store, Lance has been dying to show off all the pretty things he'd gotten. He doesn't think too deeply about his desire to look nice in front of Galra, of all people. He just wants to make a good impression.

Sendak considers it for a moment.

“You have 10 dobashes, use them wisely."

Lance beams as he walks out of the bathroom ten minutes later, hair slicked back with a bit of gel and a golden cuff on his ear. He'd decided to forgo his bracelets and anklets for the time being and had spent most of his time applying just the right amount of eyeliner. He'd sprayed a bit of Sendak's favorite ocean-scented cologne before walking back out into the room.

Sendak looks up from his screen and gives Lance a long, appreciative once-over.

“You look lovely.”

"Thanks," Lance grins and walks over to Sendak. "I guess I'm ready to go."

Sendak draws Lance in close, placing a kiss along his jaw.

"Yes, let's go."

Lance can already tell the difference when Sendak simply leads him out of the room, no chain or cuffs in sight. When he slows his pace to walk behind Sendak, as he used to, Sendak pulls him forward and keeps him close as they walk side by side. They get quite a few looks, but nobody says anything, and Lance gains the confidence to walk down the hall without keeping his eyes glued to the floor.

The meeting format hadn't changed, for the most part. Lance spends the time kneeling on a pillow next to Sendak's chair, paying attention in the beginning before drowning out the voices and spacing out. It was only when Sendak would touch his head that Lance would snap back into focus for a bit before fading out again.

When the meeting ends, Lance is quick to climb back to his feet. He doesn’t like being surrounded by so many Galra. He sometimes thinks about how if he’d continued on his path as a Paladin, he would’ve been forced to face these generals and commanders on the battlefield. It sends a shiver down his spine.

From what he’s heard them plan for their other enemies, Lance considers himself lucky not to be on the wrong side of their guns.

Snapped out of his thoughts, Lance's eyes widen in alarm as a large Galra approaches him and starts to touch him.

“Very well trained these quintents,” the Galra observes and tilts Lance’s head up.

“Have you had him, yet?”

Sendak’s lips curl in a frown and the Galra clucks his tongue.

“What a shame," he hums and slips a finger against Lance's lips, opening his mouth. "He must be delicious."

Lance is taken aback and sorely embarrassed by the Galra's lewd comments. Flushing, he looks up at Sendak, expecting him to tear the Galra off of him. Nobody has ever touched him like this before aside from Sendak, and from his experience, Lance knows how possessive Sendak could be.

Sendak clears his throat.

“That is enough, Haxus.”

"Come now, after all those goods I gave you, tell me you did try at least one on your pet?"

When the Galra starts to brush his hand down Lance’s back, he roughly yanks himself away from the touch and glares.

If Sendak won't put a stop to all of this unwanted touching, then he'll do it himself.

"Don't touch me," he snaps and inches closer to Sendak.

Sendak sighs before grabbing Lance’s arm and holding him firmly in place.

At first, Lance is sure that being grabbed was a sign that they were leaving. Sendak's grip was a little firmer than usual, but maybe he was repressing his anger at the other Galra, daring to touch what he considered to be his own. Maybe there was some social cue Lance hadn't noticed that made Sendak unable to directly refuse this Galra. Maybe he ranked higher or something like that.

Leaving was a good idea. But that was not what they were doing.

"Haxus, for my prize's misbehaviour, you may make your own observations of his assets."

Lance blinks and turns his head to give Sendak an incredulous stare. He can't believe he'd just said that. Just offered that. Punishment? For not wanting to be touched by someone else? How was that misbehaving? That Galra should be the one punished!

After all that time they'd spent together, everything they've said to each other...Lance thought that things were different between them, now. That things have changed. That it'd meant something.

Obviously, it didn't. The Sendak he thought he knew would never invite someone else to touch him like this.

Lance gasps as the Galra slips his hand between his thighs and he twists away, kicking at the Galra's arm. He tries to pull away from Sendak's hold as well, but finds it impossible, as always.

"You said you were going to court me!" Lance hisses, eyeliner smudging as he blinks away his tears of indignation. "Is this how Galra court? Pawn their mates off to others?"

Sendak narrows his eye and tuts.

"This is how I remind my prize what his place is,” he states coolly as he nods to Haxus to continue.

Lance's face contorts in anger, ready to tell Sendak exactly what he thought his 'place' was, when Haxus starts touching him again. Lance struggles, feeling all eyes in the room on him, and is just about ready to disappear in shame as his pants are removed.

And then, to make it worse, Sendak slings him over his shoulder, giving everyone an eyeful.

"Enough. I have made an exception," Sendak says to the crowd, "to let Commander Haxus touch what is mine. If any others think to do the same, I will have your heads."

It doesn't matter that Sendak was now showing the possessive tendencies Lance had thought he felt towards him. It was too little, too late. Sendak had already allowed someone else to touch him and had now humiliated him in front of everyone.

Oh, he'd made an impression, alright.

Lance wants to die.

The Galra disperse as Sendak walks towards the door. Once they’ve made way down the hall, he adjusts Lance's position, offering him some coverage with his arm cradling him.

"I know you are angry," Sendak states, not looking down at Lance as they pass a pair of sentries, "understand that you are safer having gone through this."

Lance doesn't say anything. He can't find the words to express how hurtful and humiliating that was. And to think that he'd cried for Sendak when he thought he was going to die.

He'd been such an idiot. An utter moron. Developing feelings for his captor? Caring about him? Who did that?

And to think that he'd been bought with a few trinkets and praise. Lance didn't think he was that cheap, but apparently he was.

Lance remains silent as they return to the ship. He doesn't speak or move as Sendak sets him down on the bed. He can't really summon the will to.

He should've just stayed there in the first place. Facing a few ghosts was nothing in comparison to what he'd just gone through.

He stays still as Sendak slips behind him, staring up blankly at the ceiling. He doesn't care anymore. He'd already sold every part of himself, Sendak had taken it all from him without Lance even noticing. There was no point in struggling, no point in arguing.

If Sendak wanted an obedient, pliant doll, then that's what he was going to get.

.x.

A week passes, but Lance still can’t forget the feeling of Haxus’s hands between his legs. Of Sendak, the only person he trusted in the entire room, allowing and even encouraging it. Being violated in front of a hostile audience.

He hasn’t said a word to Sendak since.

Not even when Sendak curls up behind him on the bed and runs a claw down his back. Lance doesn't pull away when Sendak pulls him close, but he doesn't melt into the touch, either

“There is a performance in the arena, some X'andu will be putting on a show, dancing, things like that."

He waits a beat before clearing his throat.

“Would you like to go?"

Lance stays still and thinks about the arena. He has no idea what a X'andu is, but he most certainly wouldn't be interested in seeing the poor thing tortured into performing for the Galran crowd.

Why did Sendak even think he'd be interested? That he'd want to go see anything in the arena, knowing that Shiro and Keith were forced to fight for their lives on a daily basis in that very place?

Sendak grits his teeth and shifts, pinning Lance to the bed and looking down at him.

"Do you intend to keep up this silence?"

Lance blinks and stares up at Sendak. He can't think of anything to say. There was no point. None of what he said matters. Why bother?

If he keeps quiet, maybe Sendak will leave him alone.

Sendak's eyes narrow.

“You insist on this silence, but do you know what would have become of you if I had yielded in front of other Galra? After your behavior?"

He leans back and pulls Lance up.

"An attack such as the one we had would be the least of our worries."

He grips Lance's chin, forcing their eyes to meet.

"Cease this silence."

Lance tenses. Worse than the attack? He can't imagine such a thing. What was worse than having someone try to kill you?

Lance thinks of saying as much, but he bites his tongue and looks away. Speaking would mean allowing Sendak to think that what he did was okay. Even justified.

If Sendak apologized and promised not to do anything like that again, however...well. Lance might consider his apology.

Sendak lets out a growl and releases Lance, who lands back down on the mattress with a grunt.

"I do not have time for your youngling behavior," Sendak snarls and climbs off the bed. He stands and walks towards his dresser, donning his armor.

"If you would like your silence then you will be given it."

Lance is quick to turn on his side and pull the blanket over his head. Sendak might think he is acting like a child, but it makes Lance absently wonder how many children Sendak has met to reach that conclusion.

If Galra children felt anything close to what he's been feeling, he pities them.

True to Sendak’s promise, he is given his silence until Sendak breaks it a few days later.

There is talk of an appointment, preparations for his upcoming surgery, and Lance doesn't react as hooded figures enter the room and start pricking and prodding him. It was uncomfortable, and even painful at times, but Lance can't bring himself to care. It wasn't like anything would change if he spoke up. The Druids were going to continue examining him and they were going to perform the stupid surgery regardless of what he thinks or feels.

He'd learned that nothing he thinks or wants matters. Not really, in the grand scheme of things. He was a prisoner. Nobody asked him about anything.

He sits silently on the bed, naked, as the Druids draw something on him and leave. He thinks they mention something about glands, but he has no idea what that means. Whatever.

Sendak looks at Lance and sighs.

"Lie down," he orders.

Lance doesn't resist as Sendak pushes him down onto the bed and applies something cold and wet on his skin. At first, it just feels weird, but then the areas smeared with the ointment start to burn. Lance grits his teeth but otherwise shows no indication of his discomfort.

"It's best if you use this time to rest. Here, drink this."

When Lance drinks the not-poison he’d learned was called quintessence, the burning sensation mostly fades and he curls on his side, facing away from Sendak. He isn't particularly tired, but he'd use any excuse to minimize their interactions.

About an hour passes before he feels Sendak’s weight dip the bed and his fur pressed to his back as he sidles up behind him. Lance stiffens for a moment before his muscles relax, trained to accept Sendak's proximity. He remains motionless as Sendak presses kisses to his neck. He used to like that.

"It will be over soon," Sendak says gently against his skin.

_No, it won't_, Lance wants to say. It will never be over, not as long as he's here, in Sendak's bed. He thinks of Hunk with the scar on his neck. He wonders what would happen if he tried to pull that stunt in the surgery room. They must have sharp objects there.

He manages to drift off to sleep, despite his morbid thoughts, and when the Druids come to take him in the morning, Lance doesn’t protest. He doesn’t meet Sendak’s gaze before being led out of the room.

He has nothing to say to him.

Lance follows the Druids down the halls of Sendak's ship and into an entirely unfamiliar area. He looks around absently, but eventually loses interest and simply puts step after step in the long march to where his surgery was to take place. The Druids don't talk, which usually would freak Lance out, but he prefers it, now.

They lead him into a white, sterile room with a long operating table. It isn't difficult to spot the tools, waiting in what looked like a precise order on a tray on a smaller table. When one of the Druids orders him to sit on the operating table, Lance follows his order without a word, climbing up and sitting still as the Druids spread across the room, each preparing their own stations.

Looking down, Lance can see the restraints the Druids probably used during their operations. But for some reason, they haven't forced him down and tied him yet. Maybe Sendak had told them to be gentle with him. Or maybe he just gave off the impression that he won't try to run away the moment they look away.

Well, they were right. Lance isn't going to try to run away. But looking again at the sharp objects on the tray, Lance is thinking of trying to different way to avoid the whole thing.

Making sure that none of the Druids are looking at him, Lance steels himself. Once he moves, there will be no taking it back. Any hesitation would ruin his entire plan- time was of essence.

...he was ready.

Taking a deep breath, Lance grits his teeth as he lunges forward and grabs the largest sharp knife within his reach and aims it at his throat. Hunk had failed, but maybe he'll get lucky and lose too much blood to be revived.

Lance had thought that he'd stood a chance, with the Druids a few feet away. He thought he might be able to make a quick, clean cut. But apparently the Druids don't need to be next to him in order to stop him. Lance suddenly finds that he can't move. Just like that.

How did they do that?

He can't pull away when another Druid walks up to him and presses the knife to his throat, but Lance isn't sure he'd do so even if he could. He doesn't appreciate the stinging pain, though.

“Foolish child,” the Druid rasps in a cold voice. “It is time you accept you fate.”

The pain, as well as the Druids and the room, eventually disappear as Lance is given something and gradually loses consciousness. He welcomes it.

Maybe it wasn't too late to wish for a complication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: non-con molestation, non-con body modification and suicide attempt.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> Apologies for the tardy update, especially for such an anticipated chapter! We hope you enjoy it and find some answers (or even better, more questions) to your comments. 
> 
> Please note that every so often with certain updates, we add new tags to the story. If any of them make you feel uncomfortable, it's totally fine for you to stop following the story (after all, we have a strict 'don't like, don't read' policy, haha), and we thank you for sticking with us this far! :)

Lance groans as he opens his eyes. Everything is too bright. Why is it so light? It's too much. Hurts. Sharp.

..._everything_ hurts.

As he sits up, it takes a few minutes for Lance to remember where he is. What had happened? He remembers being taken to a white room, trying to slit his throat, and then....nothing.

Looking around, Lance notes that he isn't in that same room, that his bed isn't the same bed he'd blacked out on. It was a smaller room, filled with blinding light and little else.

At least he can move again. But does he want to? Even stretching his limbs makes Lance cry out in pain.

What had the Druids done to him?

Lance squints as the door suddenly opens and lets in even more light. He whimpers, tempted to raise his hands to cover his eyes, but even that sounded painful.

What was more dramatic than the additional light, however, was the sudden assault on his nose.

Lance had an average sense of smell, nothing as keen as Hunk's, but suddenly the room is flooded with scents that confuse and overwhelm him.

"He requires two quintents of rest before you may openly explore his body," a Druid states, ignoring Lance in favor of Sendak, who they’d entered the room with. "The full effect of the hormones can hit him at any moment. Preferably when he is healed enough to accept it."

Sendak approaches the bed and Lance cowers, trying to put as much distance between them, but Sendak reaches out and cups his cheek regardless of Lance’s efforts.

Lance flinches at the touch, but he notices that the closer Sendak is, the more he is able to focus on one scent in particular. He still isn't sure why Sendak suddenly smelled strongly of oak trees, but his proximity was making it easier to ignore the other scents in the room.

So Lance decides to brave Sendak's touch and turns his head just enough to press his nose to Sendak's wrist. The oaky scent was stronger, there, and for some reason it made Lance relax. Just a little.

Sendak purrs as Lance nuzzles into his palm.

"Thank you," he says to the Druid, "I will take Lance home now."

Sendak slips his arms underneath Lance and lifts him up, tucking him against his chest. Lance makes a pained sound as he's jostled, but somehow being this close to Sendak made all the other scents in the room disappear completely. Lance tries to focus on that, and it helps with the pain. As Sendak carries him out of the room and through the halls, other scents mix together and threaten to overwhelm Lance, but he clings to Sendak and tries to focus.

By the time they walk back into their room and he's set down carefully on the bed, Lance is thoroughly exhausted.

But being surrounded by Sendak's scent was a comfort.

Azul is quick to jump onto the bed and rub her head against Lance’s side with a deep purr. Lance flinches as Azul touches him. He gives her a tired smile as he gently pushes her away.

"I will fetch some water," Sendak states and walks away towards the bathroom. Lance watches him leave before turning back to Azul, who was looking rather dejected.

"Hey girl," he says quietly, resigning himself to petting her back. "I guess Sendak knows how to take care of you after all, huh?"

He feels a little guilty about being so caught up in his own pain that he hadn't even thought about what ending his life would mean for Azul. But if he were honest, Lance isn't sure if it would've changed his mind either way.

Sendak returns with a glass of water and draws Lance upright against the pillows to drink. Lance accepts the water and drinks, suddenly realizing how parched he feels.

"You did very well with the surgery," Sendak says into the silence. "Well done."

Lance wants to shrug, to tell Sendak that if attempting to kill himself was 'doing well', he might just try it again. But that just feels like too much effort.

But then Sendak touches his neck and Lance gasps, dropping his cup. Heat courses through his body and he moans.

Lance knows his neck had always been a sensitive spot, but what the fuck was that?

Sendak frowns and grabs a cloth to clean up the water. The water has spilled across Lance's body, soaking the thin smock covering him.

"Undress, I do not want you getting ill,” Sendak orders, walking across the room to grab a tunic from Lance’s closet.

Lance still hasn't quite recovered from the sudden assault on his neck. His body shakes in the aftermath and he feels something damp between his legs. He thinks it's just the water, but when Sendak returns to the bed and tugs off his smock, Lance looks down his body and stares.

There was something very, very wrong. He can feel it.

Trembling, Lance reaches down, prodding the space under his length, and he realizes two things.

One, his balls are gone.

Two, there's a slick opening that hadn't been there before.

Lance's eyes snap to Sendak's and he bares his teeth.

"What have you done?!"

"Only what needed to be done,” Sendak says firmly before sliding the fresh tunic over Lance's head.

Lance isn't angry. No. ‘Angry’ is a mockery of what he's feeling. He's positively_ livid_. What he felt after Sendak publicly humiliated him before paled in comparison.

Sendak had mutilated him. Not only that- he'd taken away any hope Lance had for ever having a family of his own. And this is after Lance had told him how much family meant to him!

How...how could Sendak be so heartless? How could Lance have misjudged him so greatly?

Lance opens his mouth to give Sendak a piece of his mind. Screw silently accepting everything, Sendak had crossed the line. He doesn't even deserve Lance's sombre compliance.

But then, just as swiftly as the fire inside him had been ignited, it goes out with a flick of Sendak's wrist on his neck. All it takes is for him to rub it for Lance to blink owlishly and silently raise his hands over his head, allowing Sendak to dress him.

He doesn't feel empty, like before. He just feels...calm. Not angry anymore. But why? Where has his anger gone? Why can't he work himself up again over his body's mutilation?

Sendak hums his approval as he pulls the tunic the rest of the way over Lance’s hips. He gently lifts Lance up and sits down upon the bed, Lance cradled close.

"I know this will be shocking," he sympathizes, "but there is no point fretting over what is done."

Lance bites his lip, frightened by his own calmness that felt foreign in his chest. So he decides to focus on the discomfort of Sendak's touch on his still sensitive skin. That feeling is still his own. He thinks.

"They should've just let me die," Lance mutters, but without the venom he wishes he could drudge up. "I'm a freak."

Sendak tuts and shakes his head.

"You are not," he states and tilts Lance's head up, "you are just as beautiful as when I took you to be mine." He brushes Lance's lips and smiles. "And now things will be much easier."

Lance stays still as Sendak tilts his head, trying to manage the sudden spike of pain at the sharp movement. He wonders why his whole body hurts like this.

A throbbing sensation in his neck reminds him that his bottom half wasn't the only thing the Druids changed.

"I heard of your attempt,” Sendak’s smile drops and he gives Lance a stern frown. "I will not punish you in your current state, but should you attempt something like that again, I will not be so lenient."

"What are you going to do?" Lance says flatly. He's pleased to note than the foreign fog of calmness was starting to fade and he is now able to feel annoyed.

"Kill me? Hand me off to your friends? Might as well, you've turned me into a sex toy."

Sendak sighs and presses his lips to Lance's ears.

"What I do with you is not for you to know." He meets Lance’s eyes. "One day, you will be grateful for this."

"_Grateful_?" Lance repeats, spitting out one scornful word after the other.

"Oh, yes, I am so grateful for every hit, every humiliation, every lie you told me and all the different ways you forced yourself on me. Yeah, super grateful. Wouldn't have it any other way."

Sendak growls and presses his hand against Lance's neck and wrist. Lance’s eyes widen in alarm. He knows what's going to happen, but he can't stop it.

"Enough of this,” he hisses with a scowl. "You will be grateful, I have given you life."

Lance gasps again, eyes glazing over as his thighs grow sticky with something Lance cannot name. He whimpers, bucking his hips despite himself.

He hates this. He hates this pathetic creature he's become.

He hates that instead of easing his growing need, Sendak sets him back down on the bed and leaves the room.

Lance doesn’t see him for hours, possibly the rest of the day. Lance wouldn’t know. He falls in and out of sleep, and there is always a bot there to feed him or help him relieve himself.

Lance tries to limit his water intake. He doesn’t like going to the bathroom. Not when it meant confronting his mutilation.

Lance doesn't mind Sendak's absence. He prefers it. No unnecessary touching. No infuriating statements about gratitude and shit like that. It was so much nicer to just lie in bed, surrounded by Sendak's soothing scent, but not having to suffer the actual guy. Sure, most of the time his hands are tied in those soft cuffs Sendak used to use on him and his cuffs chained him to the headboard, but whatever. If he tries not to move, the cuffs don't even brush against his sensitive wrists all that much.

Until something changes and Lance suddenly really, really minds Sendak's absence.

It starts with the dampness between his legs. He hadn't paid attention to it at first, had gotten used to the strange sensation. But then it got worse. Like, a lot worse. Lance had worried that he might've wet the bed without noticing, but no, it was all coming from that alien opening they'd carved into him.

And then it started to get hot. Really hot. For no reason. Lance shifts around, uncomfortable, trying to pull off his sleeping tunic. But with his hands bound, there was not much he could do, and there was no bot to help him when he woke up this time.

The surge of desperate need that courses through him is a shock to Lance's system. He wonders if it had come from rubbing his wrists against the cuffs, but this was a lot more overwhelming than the sparks of pleasure he gets from that. This was an all-consuming urge to be touched. To be fucked. He ached for it in a deep way Lance had never experienced before.

And there was absolutely nothing he could do to help relieve that building pain of pent-up sexual frustration.

Lance isn't sure if this was better than the time Sendak had left him with a vibrator up his ass. Even Sendak's scent isn't enough to soothe him anymore.

By the time the doors slide open, Lance is crying, struggling desperately against his cuffs and his tunic is completely soaked. His eyes widen and glaze over at the sudden appearance of the source of the strong scent and he keens, spreading his legs in response. He needs that scent on him.

He needs Sendak.

"Please," Lance begs, bucking his hips and arching his back, crying out as his wrists roughly brush against the cuffs again. "Please...!"

He doesn't know what he's asking for. But Lance hopes Sendak understands him anyway.

Apparently Sendak does, as he rushes over towards the bed and immediately uncuffs Lance’s wrists and yanks off his tunic before doing a messy, rushed job of undressing himself. The armor falls onto the floor with a loud clang and Lance would’ve flinched if not for how relieved he is when Sendak finally climbs onto the bed and touches him.

Being touched isn't painful, anymore. Quite the opposite. Lance craves it.

"Beautiful,” Sendak purrs.

Lance takes a stuttering breath as Sendak scrapes his teeth against his throat and fuck, that felt good.

Sendak shifts their positions and settles Lance onto his lap.

"It's yours, sweet one," he gestures to his cock, "take it."

Lance wraps his arms around Sendak's neck, clinging to him desperately and rutting his hips against his stomach. But Sendak grabs his hips and guides him down, in the direction of his cock. Lance's mouth waters as he registers its strong, musky scent.

He wants it.

In a moment of clarity, Lance pauses his downward descent, worried about Sendak's size. He knows he'd undergone that surgery just for this moment, that he should be okay, but still. Lance can't possibly imagine that cock fitting inside him.

That moment quickly passes, however, as instinct seems to take over. He allows Sendak to pull him down and cries out as he's breached.

It's almost embarrassing how easily Sendak's cock slips inside him, thoroughly lubricated with the copious amounts of slick still dribbling down Lance's thighs. But Lance doesn't even think about that. In fact, he doesn't think much about anything.

The only thing on his mind is the building pleasure as Sendak fills him to the brim, inch by blissful inch.

Wow.

Lance whines and groans as Sendak guides his hips up and down his cock. His hold on Sendak's neck tightens and he shakes, torn between wanting more and feeling like it was too much. Lance shivers as Sendak growls, the sound piercing through him like an arrow and making his thighs slide apart just a bit more.

He wants to hear it again. He wants to know how much Sendak is enjoying this. He craves- no, _needs_ his validation.

And his cock. Fuck, yes. He needed more of it, like, yesterday.

"Faster," Lance breathes. "More! Please."

Sendak shivers and grunts before complying.

Lance moans, throwing his head back and allowing Sendak to take complete control of his body as he's pulled back and forth, filled and left wanting, over and over. It's a strange feeling, a deep kind of ache he instinctively knows can only be soothed by being filled. Each thrust helps, and yet, there's something missing. Lance doesn't think he can cum without it.

Tears roll down his cheeks and Lance grits his teeth, rolling his hips. Slick continues to run down his thighs, making a complete mess of his lower body. He doesn't know what to do with himself. How to find his release.

So he cries, overwhelmed by it all. He just wants to feel normal again.

Sendak runs his large hands over Lance’s sides and cups his cheek.

"Hush now, no more crying."

Lance squeezes his eyes shut and shudders as a thick, hot fluid fills him up. Somehow, it soothes his ache, and after a few more touches he finds his release with a whimper. If he were in his right mind, Lance would notice that his cum wasn't more than a weak spurt, and the majority of his reaction was clenching his muscles around Sendak's cock.

But those details are beyond Lance. All he can think about is how full he feels, finally sated and tired.

Lance rubs his cheek against the crook of Sendak's neck, inhaling his scent as he comes down from his high. The fire in his gut still burns, keeping his body warm, but it has been reduced to a low, tolerable flame.

Lance clings closer to Sendak as he's lowered back onto the bed. The sheets are a mess, drenched in sweat, cum and slick, but Lance doesn't mind. In fact, their combined scent comforts him and gives him the reassurance he needs to close his eyes and drift off, Sendak’s fingers pushing back his sweat-drenched bangs.

When he wakes up about an hour later, his body is burning up again.

Whimpering, Lance rolls his hips and squeezes around Sendak's cock, which was still imbedded deep inside him. In a brief moment of clarity, Lance wonders if this is how things are going to be for the rest of his life. If Sendak had intended for him to become a mindless sex addict after the surgery all along.

The moment passes, however, and Lance makes a distressed noise, demanding Sendak's attention.

Sendak languidly opens his eyes at Lance whine. He leans over and nips at Lance’s exposed skin.

Lance raises his arms over his head and grabs onto his pillow, digging his nails into the fabric as Sendak rocks his body back and forth. He arches his back and moans, spending himself faster than he did the first time. It came easier, now, and by the time Sendak fills him with fresh seed, Lance is coming down from his third high.

Damn, did all Galra have that kind of stamina, or was it just Sendak?

Lance sighs.

"I'm a mess," he complains, dragging the heel of his foot down Sendak's side.

Sendak purrs softly and slips his hand under Lance, lifting him to settle in his lap.

“Well, I suppose a bath is in order,” he says running a hand down Lance’s back.

Lance gasps softly as Sendak pulls out of him. The emptiness he leaves inside Lance is a gaping hole, begging to be filled again, and Lance is of half a mind to forgo the bath and ask Sendak to slide back in.

But he really wants to clean up. His skin feels crusty and dry. It's as if he hasn't moisturized in weeks.

Lance's eyes widen as he realizes that he hadn't. Geez. No wonder he'd been so gloomy. Why hadn't he taken care of himself? It was a wonder Sendak was putting up with him at all.

"Yes," Lance agrees primly and wraps his legs around Sendak's waist. "Desperately."

Sendak lets out an amused chuckle and picks him up.

Lance's eyes flutter closed for a brief moment and he tilts his head back as Sendak's teeth brush against his pulse. He knows he's always enjoyed it before, but this time, there's something different about the proximity. For some reason, a need for Sendak to sink his fangs into his neck wells in Lance's chest.

It's startling, and Lance's eyes flash open. His pulse quickens and his mouth goes dry.

Before he can sort through his feelings on the matter, Sendak deposits him in the luxuriously warm bathwater. Lance groans in relief.

He hums as Sendak slips behind him and starts to massage one of Lance's favorite shampoos into his hair. It feels good, relaxing, and Lance could've easily been lulled back to sleep from the soothing movements if not for his need for...

Lance can't put his finger on it, can't put it into words, but he acts on it nonetheless. He waits for Sendak to wash the soap out of his hair before turning around and plastering himself to Sendak's chest. Lance straddles Sendak's thigh as he reaches up to press a series of kisses to Sendak's jaw.

He doesn't know what he wants. But he's gonna work for it, anyway.

Sendak pulls back to look down at him, a purr leaving his throat. He cups Lance’s ass and supports him as Lance presses himself even closer.

He meets Lance’s gaze as he urges their lips together.

Kissing Sendak is a little strange. Lance has only ever pressed quick kisses to Sendak's lips before, conscious of the way Sendak's mouth is so much bigger than his own- and possessed sharp fangs, to boot.

But Lance moans and presses closer, tilting his head and making it work. At some point their kiss morphs into Sendak licking and sucking his neck and Lance trembles, grasping at Sendak's fur to keep himself from slipping out of Sendak's lap.

"That's nice," Lance murmurs and rolls his hips, sliding back and forth on Sendak's thigh. He can't get enough of how big Sendak is. So strong. So capable. He'd risked his life and lost his eye while protecting Lance.

The thought that Sendak might make a good father one day pops into Lance's mind, unbidden. He shrugs it off, though, a little perturbed. If Sendak does become a father at some point, it won't be with Lance. And for some reason, that makes Lance tighten his grip on Sendak's shoulders. As if holding him closer might stop Sendak from leaving him in a hypothetical future.

Sendak tightens his hold on Lance as well as he pulls back.

“You served me beautifully,” he says gently.

Ah, there it is. The thing Lance wanted. Approval. His entire body flushes at the praise and with a shuddering breath, he cums over Sendak's thigh. When Lance looks back up at Sendak, he's a little embarrassed.

"You, uh, you really think so?"

Sendak raises a brow but smiles, nonetheless.

“Above and beyond, sweet one,” he praises and dips water against the mess on his thigh. “You should be proud.”

Lance dips his head and hides his face in Sendak's chest, pressing his cheek to the soft fur. He doesn't really know what to do with himself aside from wanting to be as close to Sendak as possible. He reaches down into the water and wraps his hand around as much of Sendak's cock as he can manage, sliding his palm over the warm flesh.

He wants to be able to do more, to imitate the things he'd seen people do to one another in the videos he'd watch back on Earth. But while he can miraculously take Sendak's length because of the surgery, there are other things he'll never be able to do.

Lance wonders if Sendak will ever seek another to fulfil those needs. His grip tightens and he redoubles his efforts.

Sendak tilts his head up.

“Do you not believe you have done a good job?”

Lance bites his lip and looks away. His grip on Sendak's cock loosens.

"I wasn't good enough before, so I had to have surgery. I don't want to do it again."

Sendak captures Lance’s hands on his own, holding them delicately.

“You will not,” he assures. “I know this surgery was frightening to you, but you need not fear more.”

He moves Lance’s head to force their eyes to meet.

“Your biology failed you,” he states, “denied you what you could be.”

He releases Lance’s hands.

“And now that the Druids have fixed that, you are who you were supposed to be. Everything has its purpose. I was guiding you to yours.”

Lance slowly nods, not completely understanding the extent of Sendak's words, but the meaning is clear. No more surgeries. Sendak likes him now the way he is. And that's the most important thing.

Lance doesn't know when pleasing Sendak became a priority of his. But it is. It just...is. He can't imagine doing anything to make Sendak angry with him. Lance doesn't know what he'd do if Sendak was angry with him. He doesn't even want to think about it.

"Okay," he says softly and gently pulls away from Sendak. Lance swims over to the other side of the large tub where most of his soaps were set out and he pushes himself out of the water to sit on the floor, feet dangling in the water as he rubs the much needed cream into his skin.

He lifts the bottle and frowns. He's going to run out soon.

Sendak relaxes into the tub, looking over at Lance with a lazy smile.

“Do you require more?” He asks, wading through the water to brush a hand against Lance’s thigh.

“Can you wait for two quintents?” He looks at Lance and smiles, “I’m sure another Earth shop needs... raiding.”

Lance's expression brightens and he returns Sendak's smile with a wide grin.

"I've been dying to get some more chips, and yeah this definitely needs restocking," Lance shakes the bottle and sets it back down.

Sendak hums.

“Perhaps, then, we should venture to your planet instead.”

Lance blinks and stares at Sendak blankly.

Go...to Earth?

The first thing Lance feels is yearning. A burst of emotion, a longing for his family. For his home. For the beach and the sea and the sun and rain and the cities and the people and-

But then Lance remembers what Galra do to planets. And he remembers that he is different from who he'd been when he first climbed into Blue and piloted her into space.

Lance's lips quiver and he looks away. He wants to go back to Earth. Of course he does. But he doesn't want to put everything he loves in danger.

Because as much as Sendak might care for him, Lance can't knowingly lead a Galra to his planet.

"...no, it's okay," Lance says, blinking back the tears and slipping back into the water. He submerges himself completely, not caring that his freshly applied moisturizer was being washed away. He doesn't want Sendak to see him cry.

Sendak’s brows furrow. He shifts his hands to Lance’s waist as he sinks into the water.

“I have upset you,” he states. “We will go to the space mall, as planned.”

Lance sniffs and nods, turning to lean against Sendak's chest and bury his face in his fur. He finds comfort in Sendak's scent, so close and potent that it feels like he's surrounded by it.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks," Lance says, words muffled.

He loves how sensitive Sendak can be. So attuned to his needs.

The perfect-

Lance pauses as a word pops to mind, a word he’s never thought to use before.

Mate.

The perfect mate.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Contrary to popular belief, we aren't dead (yet) :P
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience. Things got a little hectic, and posting kept being pushed down our 'to-do' list. But we're finally back, and we aren't planning on going anywhere anytime soon ;) We will resume weekly updates, but at the moment aren't decided on a specific day. We might play around with it, so be prepared for surprise updates! :D
> 
> And as always, be sure to read the tags. We just keep on adding to them, haha.

"Wake, sweet one, I have meetings to attend. I want you present for them."

Lance isn't fond of waking up early, especially when his entire body is still rather sore from the previous night's activities, but when Sendak wakes him with a shake of his shoulder, Lance has no complaints. He's pretty sure he heard Sendak say that he wants him present for his meetings, and how can Lance say no to that?

It was a privilege and an honor to have someone so strong and powerful want to take him to important places. Lance only hopes he has enough time to prepare. He wants to look his best.

Stretching his arms over his head, Lance yawns and arches his back before rolling his shoulders and climbing out of bed. He makes his way across the room to Sendak and leans against him with a tired smile. Sendak's scent and warmth make him feel safe.

"Who are you meeting today?" Lance asks in a muffled voice.

Sendak reaches out and ruffles his hair with a fond smile.

"Some generals in my ranks," he answers and gives Lance a gentle push, handing him a tunic from the open closet. "We are discussing territory disputes."

Lance accepts the outfit and saunters off into the bathroom, eyes still bleary. Half an hour later he walks back out, dressed and refreshed with clinking bracelets and wearing Sendak's favorite cologne.

He walks over to Sendak with a grin and twirls before striking a pose.

"Is this suitable for territory disputes?"

Sendak snorts and reaches out to cup Lance's chin.

"I couldn't imagine anything better."

Lance's heart does a little flutter at the touch and his eyes flutter shut, hoping for a kiss, but Sendak pulls away.

“Now, let’s be on our way.”

Opening his eyes, Lance's lips turn in a disappointed pout, but he follows Sendak out of the room and clings to his side as they walk down the hall.

Wrinkling his nose, Lance tries to stay as close to Sendak as possible as they exit the ship and enter Zarkon’s floating fortress. The further they stray from Sendak’s ship, the more difficult it became to avoid the barrage of scents wafting at Lance from all over.

Couldn't anyone else smell it? Why was he the only one who appeared to be overwhelmed by it? No one else was wrinkling their nose. There were a few guards who looked up as Lance passed them by, giving him a look that made him uneasy, but other than that…

Nothing. How odd.

Lance pauses as Sendak comes to a stop in front of an unfamiliar door. He's fairly certain this isn't where the meeting is going to be held.

"Sweet one, I think, rather than join me, you might enjoy going here instead,” Sendak states as he presses his palm to the scanner next to the door.

Lance shakes his head. Was this Sendak's way of saying that he isn't good enough to attend the meeting with him?

"No, I want to stay with you," Lance insists and clings to Sendak's arm. The door slides open nonetheless and Lance's eyes widen as his senses are assaulted with something entirely new.

Sweet, mild scents greet him as well as the high-pitched sound of...children?

"I think you will feel more comfortable here," Sendak insists and brushes a hand through Lance's hair as they walk through the door.

Lance looks around nervously as Sendak guides him into the middle of the room. He reluctantly agrees with Sendak that this room was less overwhelming to his senses than out in the hallway, and he’ll admit that the idea of Galra children was intriguing.

But what is he supposed to do with all of these alien kids staring at him with wide, yellow eyes?

For all Lance knows, Galra young could smell fear.

Sendak pulls away and Lance silently watches as he walks over to an old, female Galra who was standing in the corner of the room. She catches Lance’s gaze and gives him a severe frown. Lance immediately looks away.

Sendak returns a minute later with an amused smile.

“They will not bite, sweet one," he states, a chuckle leaving his throat.

Lance gives Sendak a dubious look. He loves kids. Can't get enough of their endless curiosity and enthusiasm. But none of the children Lance has come across to date had fangs.

"You sure 'bout that?" Lance mumbles and crosses his arms. But even as he tries to exercise a healthy dose of caution, a small child from across the room meets his eyes and smiles at him.

Lance is pretty sure it's illegal not to smile back at a kid, fangs or no fangs.

Sendak laughs softly and cups his chin.

“Very certain,” he replies and kisses Lance’s brow before letting go. "I will be back in a few vargas."

Lance watches Sendak leave with a resigned sigh and blinks as the small child he'd smiled at suddenly runs up to him and tugs on his tunic. Crouching down, Lance offers the kid a nervous smile.

"Hey there, buddy. What's your name?"

The child gives Lance a bubbly smile and proudly lifts his chin.

"I'm Xavid!" He states boldly, his hands on his hips.

Lance's smile loses its strain and he tilts his head.

"That's a powerful name you've got there, bud," Lance grins. "And how old are you?"

Xavid beams proudly at the praise. His ears twitch as he considers Lance’s question and his expression loses some of its certainty.

“I'm six pheobs,” he finally answers.

"Six, huh," Lance repeats a little sadly. He's pretty sure he'd missed his nephew's sixth birthday, but time moved differently in space. Silvio could be ten by now.

Xavid nods.

“I'm gonna be a warrior, just like Commander Sendak!"

Lance doesn’t miss the wistful way Xavid looks at the door, where Sendak had been just a few moments before. Lance can't help but laugh.

"Is that so?" Lance asks in amusement. "What will you do when you become a big, strong warrior like Commander Sendak?"

Xavid looks thoughtful, his shoes scuffing the floor as he thinks.

"Uhh," he looks around and then looks at Lance, "dunno, fight for the Galra, and make sure everyone listens to us,” he says with a shrug.

"Are you Commander Sendak's mate?" He asks abruptly.

Lance blinks and his face suddenly feels warm.

"I, uh...well. What exactly is a mate?"

Xavid's face screws up in confusion.

"It's a, uh," he frowns, "the Galra you stay with forever,” he says slowly before resolutely nodding.

Lance worries his lip. Sendak has been throwing that word around lately, but they'd never gotten around to clarifying what it actually meant. If he's now considered Sendak's mate, does that mean he isn't a prisoner of war anymore?

Lance hopes it does. He really wants Sendak to see him as more than a trophy. He wants whatever it is between them to be real.

And Xavid's definition was certainly promising.

"I see," Lance says thoughtfully. "Well, I'm not Galra, but I do hope to stay with Commander Sendak forever."

Xavid smiles toothily, reaching for Lance's hand and tugging him towards the play mats.

"Come watch me fight!"

As he pulls Lance along, he pushes another Galran child out of the way and they both fall to the floor.

Lance has seen his fair share of children tripping over their own feet and falling to the floor. It's been a while, and these Galran children don't burst into tears as some human children their age would, but Lance can tell that Xavid and his friend are upset.

Lowering himself to his knees next to them, Lance gently helps the children sit up.

"There you go," Lance encourages Xavid's friend and hesitates for a moment before rubbing his back. "It's okay. I'm sure Xavid didn't mean to push you."

He then turns to the small offender and raises a brow.

"Do you have anything you want to tell your friend?"

Xavid shakes his head and crosses his arms with a petulant frown.

Lance clicks his tongue and gives Xavid an expectant look.

"Are you sure? I think Commander Sendak would have something to say if he was in your place."

Which was a blatant lie. But if Xavid thought that his hero was the kind to apologize, maybe he'll start a positive trend in the...nursery. Or whatever this place was.

Xavid's eyes go wide at the prospect. He frowns and shuffles closer to Lance, going up on his toes to whisper in Lance’s ear.

"I dunno what I'm supposed to say,” he admits, shame filling his cheeks.

Lance's chest puffs up with pride at Xavid's question. He'd obviously gotten through to him. Still, Lance bites back his smile and nods, a thoughtful crease in his brow.

"I think it would be wise to start with an apology," Lance whispers back. "And then maybe ask your friend if he wants to play with you?"

Xavid looks thoughtful at the suggestion.

"But… Does Commander Sendak really say sorry?"

He glances at the other child and pouts.

"I thought warriors didn't do that stuff."

Lance wonders for a moment if it was really okay to continue to lie to a child, but he quickly shakes off his doubt. This was for a good cause. Besides, it wasn't like Sendak would ever find out.

"It might seem confusing," Lance says carefully, "but being a warrior isn't only about winning fights. It's also about realizing when you're wrong and learning from your mistakes. That's how you become a great warrior like Commander Sendak."

Xavid's face screws up at the words. For a moment, Lance is worries Xavid will reject the idea, but then Xavid turns to the other child with a smile.

"Sorry, wanna play?" He offers his hand, his gaze flitting to Lance for approval.

Lance beams at the two children and climbs back up to his feet as he watches them run together towards the play mats. His smile fades a little as he sees the two starting to wrestle and Lance wonders if that is what Galra children do when they play or if they were really fighting.

Before Lance can decide if he needs to intervene or not, one of the caretakers he'd seen Sendak speak to walks up to the children.

"Cease your barbaric grappling," the woman snaps. "Did you already forget the basics of dignified dueling?"

The woman raises her arm, and Lance notices a whip.

Inhaling sharply, he rushes over to the small group. Lance reaches out and grabs the woman's wrist before she can land the blow.

"What are you doing?!" Lance hisses. "These are children!"

The caretaker frowns and yanks her wrist out of Lance’s grasp.

“Children must learn the ways of our people,” she huffs. "I would not expect someone of your stature to understand such concepts."

Lance bristles.

"No, I don't understand child cruelty, and I hope I never will. Do their parents know you're hurting them? I'm sure they'll be very unhappy with you when they learn that you're abusing their kids."

The caretaker sniffs and her lips curl into an unattractive smile.

"They wish for their children to be soldiers of the Galra Empire, this is to be expected,” she replies evenly.

Lance narrows his eyes. He refuses to believe that parents would knowingly send their children to be abused. Even Galra parents.

But then again.... Galra were cruel to the planets they conquered as well as to each other. Lance will never forget the weight of the fallen assassin, crushing the air out of his chest.

Was it that far of a stretch to believe that Galra are cruel to their own children as well?

Lance tries to imagine Sendak as a young boy in such a place and he bites his lip.

"This is wrong," Lance says finally and moves to stand between the caregiver and the sniffling boys.

"Just...leave them alone."

The caretaker narrows her eyes.

“Then will you take the punishment in their stead?"

Lance huffs. Was this woman for real?

"The only one who's going to be punished is you," he states and looks back at the boys. Xavid still stood behind him, eyes wide. The other child had joined another group of whispering children in the back of the room, staring at him as well.

Making his decision, Lance takes Xavid’s hand.

He doesn't know where he's going to take him, but anywhere was better than staying here with this horrible caretaker.

"We're leaving."

The caretaker crosses her arms with a frown.

"This is customary for the Galra, and this will not be the last you will see for the training of future warriors."

Lance turns his back to the woman and starts to walk towards the exit with Xavid. He doesn't bother answering her. What was the point? He isn't going to be able to change her entire perception of child rearing with just a few words.

But maybe he can convince Sendak that a whip had no business being near a child.

Xavid tugs on Lance's sleeve.

“Why'd you do that?"

Lance looks down at Xavid with a small smile as the door slides open and they walk out into the hall.

"Because you don't deserve to be treated that way. Nobody does.”

Xavid looks at Lance with confusion, but he doesn’t question his answer. He grips Lance's hand harder, his still growing nails digging into Lance's palm.

"Where are we going?" He asks.

Lance doesn't flinch despite the nails digging into his palm. He's too busy thinking of a good answer. He's never been allowed to wander the halls by himself, and the overwhelming culmination of scents was making him a little dizzy.

He hadn't really thought this through.

Should he take Xavid to Sendak? No, he wouldn't appreciate being interrupted during his meeting.

"Do you, um, know where your parents are?" Lance asks nervously.

Xavid thinks and shakes his head.

"No... they've been gone for a few quintents, on a mission for Emperor Zarkon,” he shrugs. "I'm s'pose to stay, uh," he nods to the way they came, "till they come back."

Lance bites his lip. Well, fuck. Sendak was going to be mad.

But Lance can't let Xavid go back in there. He just can't.

"...I see," Lance says and clears his throat. He presses his lips into a thin line and starts to march down the hall, head raised high in determination.

"You'll be staying with me until your parents return," he states and turns the corner.

Xavid's eyes go wide.

"With Commander Sendak and you?" He asks, his voice barely able to hide his delight.

"Yes," Lance says and ignores the sentries standing in front of the sliding doors. They appear to recognize him, and that seems to be enough to allow him and Xavid to enter the room without Sendak present.

"Here we are," Lance releases Xavid’s hand and grins as Azul makes herself known. He leans down to pick her up.

"This is my cat, Azul," Lance explains and extends his arms, encouraging Xavid to pet her. "She is an animal from my planet. We like to keep them as pets."

Xavid tilts his head in open curiosity, reaching to pet Azul. He grins toothily and looks up at Lance as she lets out a purr.

"She likes you!" Lance laughs. "You must be very special, you're the first Galra-"

The doors suddenly slide open and Lance doesn't finish his sentence. There was only one person who could enter the room aside from him.

He sets Azul down on the floor and turns around to face Sendak with a nervous smile.

"Sweet one," Sendak says sternly as he walks over to Lance, reaching out to lift Lance’s chin. “What is this child doing here?"

Lance swallows thickly. He can practically hear his pulse, loud and quick in his ears. He doesn't want to get in trouble. He doesn't want to let Sendak down.

But he can't allow Xavid to go back and surely be hit. He just can't.

"She was going to whip him," Lance finds his voice and meets Sendak's eyes. "I couldn't leave him there."

Sendak looks at Lance with a measured expression.

“That is not your decision to make. However," he states slowly, "I admire your determination to protect this youngling,” he says with some kindness.

Lance's expression brightens a bit at Sendak's praise. Maybe there was still some hope.

"I know I don't have any legal guardianship over him, but," Lance takes a step forward and gently clasps Sendak's arm, "I was thinking Xavid could stay here until his parents return."

Sendak looks down at Xavid, and then returns his gaze to Lance.

"This will have to be approved by his parents first, and you must keep him in line,” he stipulates. "But I do not see the harm in it."

He pulls Lance in close, his hand resting against Lance’s stomach.

Lance gasps and leans up, eagerly pressing a grateful kiss to Sendak's cheek and giving him a quick hug.

"Thank you," he whispers before pulling away and turning around to face Xavid with a wide smile.

"Did you hear that? We're going to have so much fun together!" Lance gushes. "Now let's contact your parents and get your stay approved!"

Xavid laughs, excitement clear in his yellow eyes. He grabs Lance's hand and nods eagerly.

"Okay,” he says and looks at Sendak with shy awe.

He follows Lance and Sendak into Sendak’s study.

"What is the name of your parents?" Sendak asks sternly. Xavid, being asked something of his idol, goes quiet and shy, ducking against Lance nervously.

Lance chuckles and rests his hand on Xavid's shoulder reassuringly. He can easily relate to the boy's intimidation. Sendak was quite the intimidating guy. Lance remembers how he'd felt when he first met Shiro.

He'd been older than Xavid, sure, but speaking to your idol was a little scary at any age.

Lance's smile fades a little. He wonders how Shiro is doing.

"Hey, it's okay," Lance says softly. "Can you tell us who your parents are?"

Xavid nods slowly and looks up at Lance briefly before inhaling slowly.

"They are First Lieutenant Mervik and Major Davin,” he says softly, fidgeting uncomfortably.

Lance squeezes Xavid's shoulder before letting go.

"Thank you, Xavid. We'll try to contact your parents and talk to them. In the meantime, how about you go and play with Azul in the other room?"

Xavid looks at Lance then Sendak before cautiously nodding and running off. 

"Your charity never ceases to surprise me,” Sendak says a moment later in a gruff voice from behind Lance.

Lance hums and allows himself to be pressed to Sendak's chest. It was a little uncomfortable with his armor, but Lance is relieved to just be back in his calming presence. He wishes he could just bottle Sendak's scent and spray it around him whenever other scents threatened to overwhelm him.

"I dunno, stopping kids from being beaten seems pretty basic to me," Lance mumbles. He's quiet for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Were you hit a lot as a child?"

"If you are asking if I was disciplined,” Sendak starts and looks at Lance with an unflinching expression, "then yes, of course, it is customary in my culture."

He looks down at Lance.

"There are some things I know you will not understand," he states with sympathy, "but this is simply a part of Galran upbringing, to hone young warriors to be great commanders someday."

Lance frowns. Sendak and the awful caretaker were right, he doesn't understand. He simply can't and refuses to understand how anyone could look a cowering child in the eye and be cruel enough to hurt them further. He cannot fathom it.

And it pains him to think of Sendak being treated that way. Even more so, thinking it was right for him to be treated that way.

"But they're so young," Lance says quietly. "What if they don't want to be warriors?"

Sendak frowns, taking a step back and firmly grabbing Lance’s chin.

“There is not alternative to being a warrior," he reminds. “Those who are not, are quickly forgotten."

Sendak sighs.

“You are right, they are young,” he agrees, "but this is simply the way." He presses their foreheads together.

"One day you may understand, until then, we shall look after the boy."

Lance shakes his head. He wants to argue, to make Sendak realize that he and the entire Galra education system (if one could call it that) were wrong. But he can tell that it is a lost cause.

Besides, he shouldn't risk Sendak changing his mind about Xavid just to make a point.

"What if his parents say no?" Lance asks with a worried frown. "I'm afraid they'll single him out because of me if we have to send him back."

Sendak pulls away with a thoughtful frown.

“I will speak with his caretakers,” he says. “You have brought this child under your protection. That means he is under mine as well.”

Lance looks up hopefully at Sendak's promise. If Sendak was willing to protect Xavid, then Lance really doesn't have a reason to worry. Nobody would dare touch the kid if they knew they had Sendak to answer to for it.

Which reminds him.

"You know," Lance starts with a sly smile, "Xavid told me you're his hero. Maybe you can play with him or teach him a few things. Nicely," Lance adds with a raised brow.

Sendak lets out a breathy laugh.

“Is that so?” He says with a smile. “Go on and keep him occupied in the meantime, then.”

"Alright," Lance returns the smile and takes a step back. "Feel free to join us whenever you want."

The prospect of having someone to keep him company while Sendak was out and about, even if only for a short few days, was exciting. Lance can already think of half a dozen games he can play with Xavid.

When he walks into the other room and sees Xavid laughing with Azul in his lap, Lance feels an unexpected pang of sorrow in his chest.

A small voice reminds him that he'll never be able to have this. Have his own kids to care for and play with. The surgery put an end to that.

Lance quickly does away with the train of thought, however, and joins Xavid on the floor with a warm smile.

He's determined to enjoy having a kid around while he can.


	15. Chapter 15

Lance looks nervously at his reflection in the mirror. He thinks he looks good, dressed up in an opaque tunic hemmed and decorated with blue and gold. The makeup and jewelry he'd chosen completed the look. But he can't help but notice the slight roundness of his thighs and buttocks that hadn't been there before.

He'd gained weight. Probably from binging all of those snacks Sendak had gotten him from his most recent trip to the Earth store at the nearest space mall. He’d been feeling down after Xavid was picked up by his parents and Lance supposes the snacks were Sendak’s way of trying to cheer him up.

And while Hunk would be proud of his recent weight gain, Lance remembers the way Sendak looked at him when he declared his preference for Lance’s slimmer shape.

Lance’s bangles clink as he turns this way and that, nibbling on his lip as he tries to tell himself that it wasn't too noticeable. That Sendak still thinks he looks good, despite the few extra pounds.

The familiar sound of the doors sliding open announce Sendak’s return. Lance watches in the mirror as Sendak approaches him and slips an arm around his waist.

“Are you ready, sweet one?" He asks, his hand reaching lower. 

Lance flushes a little at the hand on his backside, wondering if this was Sendak's way of telling him that he'd noticed. Is he pleased? Does he want him to hold off on the snacks? Lance can't tell. But he gives his reflection one last critical look before nodding.

"Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be. Do we have to go? I'm tired.”

The truth is, while Lance has started to feel a little more fatigued as of late, he just isn’t confident in his dance routine quite yet. Sendak hadn't given him enough time to prepare, and there are still a few seconds in the song that Lance doesn't know what he's going to do with. And everyone will be watching.

He wants it to be perfect.

Sendak gives Lance a sympathetic look and reaches down to brush a stray lock behind Lance's ear.

"I know you are nervous," he states, turning Lance around and taking Lance's hands, "but you are more than capable of doing this. You can rest before your performance," he suggests.

Lance swallows and nods, raising his chin as Sendak guides him out of their room. If Sendak believes in him, then Lance knows he can do it. Sendak is never wrong.

They enter the familiar auditorium that Lance has learned to dislike. Nothing good ever happened there. The first time he'd been chained and electrocuted. The second time, Sendak had been forced to strike him in front of everyone for his disobedience.

Lance's grip tightens on Sendak's arm. This time will be different. This time he knows what is going to happen. He's prepared for it. And Sendak won't hurt him.

Lance won't give him a reason to.

As they enter Sendak’s booth, Lance prepares to go on his knees on the large cushion next to Sendak’s chair. But before he can do so, Sendak grabs his wrist and pats his knee.

"Sit," he orders. "You may rest if you need to."

Lance slides onto Sendak's lap, grateful for the proximity. He finds Sendak's scent and warmth comforting, and when Zarkon appears on the stage, his initial reaction is to hide his face in Sendak's neck, tightening his hold on Sendak's shoulders. Though he can't see the Emperor, Lance can still hear his voice.

Zarkon's presence still makes him uneasy, after all this time. And sitting on Sendak's lap, there is no table to kneel next to and hide behind like he'd do in the meetings Sendak would take him to.

"One pheob ago, the Empire achieved one of its most strategic victories to date- the defeat of Volton and the successful return of the Lions," Zarkon's voice booms in the auditorium, followed by deafening applause. Lance shrinks a little, trying to make himself as small as possible.

"Commander Sendak led a successful attack on the Altean Castle of Lions and earned his place in Galra history. The Empire acknowledges Commander Sendak."

So much for being unnoticeable. Lance can feel everyone's eyes on him as they cheer for Sendak.

"Today we mark the fall of Voltron by presenting its former paladins for the Empire's entertainment."

Sendak places a soothing hand on Lance’s back.

Once Zarkon exits the stage, Lance turns his head to watch Shiro being led onto the platform. Closer this time, Lance can see the physical changes to Shiro's body- the scars, for one. It seemed impossible, but Shiro looked bigger than Lance remembered him to be. Wider, taller. And when he turns to look into the crowd-

Lance gasps.

Shiro's eyes glow yellow.

Lance tears his gaze away from the carnage that follows, trying his best to ignore the screams of Shiro's opponents as he fights for the crowd's entertainment. Lance flinches at every loud sound and tries to curl even closer to Sendak and inhale his comforting scent.

"What did they do to Shiro," he wonders, mostly to himself. He doesn't expect an answer.

Sendak lowers his hand and squeezes Lance's waist.

“They improved what was already there,” he states. "He's unbeatable now. A soldier that would do any army proud."

Lance nods, accepting Sendak's explanation. It made sense. Shiro had always been a good fighter, it was only natural for whoever was in charge of him to want to maximize his potential. It's like how Sendak improved him. Made his body better.

Sendak brushes a hand over Lance's neck. “The fight is over,” he soothes as the crowds erupt into cheers and booming yells at the bloodlust before them.

Lance turns to look at the stage again, emboldened by Sendak's reassurances, but a moment later he wishes he hadn't. Zarkon's witch appears on the stage with Allura in the same tank he'd seen her in before. She was just as beautiful as the day he met her.

But Lance is pretty sure at this point that her body is all that is left of her.

Tears start to slide down Lance's cheeks and he quickly tries to blot them away, sniffing loudly. He doesn't want to smear his makeup.

Sendak’s arm around him tightens. Lance appreciates it, especially when Pidge is brought onto the stage and ignores the crowd as she takes down three Robeasts by simply hacking into their systems.

Lance is torn between watching his friends and looking away from the trials they are being forced through. On the one hand, he rarely got to see them, if at all. On the other hand...it was upsetting. None of them seemed to be placed with good Galra like Sendak. Even Hunk, who had told him that his Master was kind, looked worse for wear by the time he finished fixing a broken ship in under ten minutes on stage.

Lance doesn't get to see the next machinery Hunk is given to repair. Sendak lifts him up and carries him backstage.

Apparently, he's up next.

Lance takes a deep breath and with one last reassuring squeeze from Sendak, he walks onto the stage and waits for the music to begin.

Lance moves with the music, but finds himself only able to dance with the fluidity he desires when he closes his eyes and ignores the audience. Usually he'd feed off of the crowd's rapt attention, bask in their interest. But for some reason, something feels off about this performance. Lance can't put his finger on it.

Maybe it had something to do with the myriad of scents in the auditorium. When he was next to Sendak, it was easy to focus on Sendak and on Sendak's scent alone. It grounded him. But with Sendak gone, the other Galra scents overwhelm Lance. The air is thick with it.

It's a little dizzying.

One scent in particular grows stronger and Lance's eyes snap open in shock as he hears a roar over the music. He gasps and takes a step back as he sees Shiro breaking free from his handler's chain in the front row and for some reason climbs onto the stage in a frenzy.

Lance trips over one of Hunk's spare pieces that hadn't been removed from the stage and forgets how to breathe as Shiro looms over him, glowing eyes meeting his own.

He's going to die. Lance just knows it.

He squeezes his eyes shut as Shiro grabs him by the collar.

_Sendak_ _!_

Lance expects Shiro to dig his elongated nails into his chest, to snap his neck, to break a limb- anything, really. Anything but tear his tunic and grab his waist with a growl.

Lance's eyes widen, shocked to his core and trembling, overwhelmed by Shiro's scent. His head starts to feel fuzzy and he tilts his head back, offering his neck in submission. It was a natural reaction, something Lance never thought he'd do. Not with Shiro.

He never thought Shiro would… _desire_ him.

Two different voices sound, both equally enraged. Lance gapes as Sendak suddenly appears in front of him and grabs Shiro, sending him flying across the stage to where Lance can see Keith struggling against four sentries. Relief floods Lance's system and he doesn't even mind when Sendak tears off the rest of his ruined tunic, baring him to the crowd.

It doesn't matter, because Sendak is here. Sendak saved him and Lance wants nothing more than to be held and comforted. He reaches out with a whimper, wrapping his arms around Sendak's waist.

Sendak lifts him and holds him close, tilting his chin.

“Spread your legs," he commands gently, a whisper that doesn't make it past their ears, "they must all know you are mine."

Lance's legs spread almost on their own at Sendak's command. He realizes that he wants Sendak to take him here, to hold him close and fill him to the brim with his seed. Lance wants all of the Galra in the audience to keep their overwhelming scents to themselves, to show them that he's very much taken. That he belongs to a strong and powerful Galra who will allow no one, not even the Champion, to touch what was his.

Lance moans, basking in the experience of the world fading away. There is only Sendak and the way he moves inside him, filling him up, claiming him. As Sendak's movements grow erratic, Lance opens his eyes and regains some of his focus, turning his head to the centre of the stage.

Shiro was on his knees, held back and subdued by so many guards and sentries that Lance can barely even see him. Keith, on the other hand, was shouting behind his own wall of sentries. Their eyes meet for a split moment and Lance is startled by the intensity in Keith's gaze. He's immediately snapped out of it by a strong thrust and he arches his back, crying out as he cums over his stomach. Sendak follows shortly after, filling him with hot spurts that allow Lance to relax against the floor, safe and sated.

Lance clings to Sendak as he picks him up a minute later. He's exhausted, the fear and excitement rapidly taking their toll on his body. Before he can close his eyes and drift off, however, something shiny and white in the crowd catches his attention. Lance looks at the owner of the white hair curiously, noting that he looked more human than Galra, before his vision fades to black as his fatigue catches up with him.

.x.

A few weeks pass since Lance’s latest visit to the dreaded auditorium, and he finds himself fully recovered and kneeling next to Sendak in yet another one of his boring meetings. Lance can feel quite a few pairs of eyes on him and he shifts uncomfortably on his pillow.

Was his tunic ugly? Sure, it was more modest than usual, but Lance thought the blue and gold looked good. Maybe he should ask Sendak for a new one. With different colors. Red, perhaps?

The meeting eventually ends and Sendak stands, helping Lance to his feet. Lance is about to inquire about the possibility of a new tunic when one of the other Galra in the room approaches them. Lance takes a step closer to Sendak. He can feel the stranger’s yellow eyes on him and he doesn't like the feeling. While he looks down, avoiding the Galra's gaze, he can still hear his words.

"I was wondering where your slave went this past cycle. On his back, was he?" The Galra grins viciously and Sendak tenses.

"You will hold your tongue if you know what is good for you," he says shortly.

Lance freezes.

His memory of the auditorium is fragmented, flashes of emotion and movement rather than a coherent chain of events. He remembers going onto the stage and dancing. He can remember being scared and then relieved and comforted by Sendak. He even remembers Shiro and Keith with him on the stage.

But the memories are disjointed and Lance has been reluctant to bring up the event again to Sendak. Figured he was better off not knowing.

The Galra's comment, however, triggers a memory of pleasure that had no business belonging to a public event.

Lance's face pales. What exactly had happened on that stage?

The Galra opens his mouth to reply and Sendak's arm shoots out, grabbing the Galra’s throat and hoisting him up.

"I said, hold your tongue,” he growls and Lance notes with some satisfaction the panicked expression on the Galra’s face. Sendak sets him down a moment and turns to take Lance into his arms.

“Are you feeling well?"

Lance's mouth feels dry and he shakes his head wordlessly. He clings to Sendak for support as he watches the other Galra scramble to his feet and walk away, not before scowling in Lance's direction.

Though he'd been restless and eager to leave their room before, Lance is anxious to return to the privacy of their chambers. He doesn't know if he's imagining it or not, but it feels like every Galra who passes them stares a second too long.

The trip back to their room passes in a blur and Lance feels a little better when Sendak puts him down on the bed. Sendak then kneels at the base, taking Lance's hands and holding them gently.

"Something is on your mind,” he observes. “Speak it."

Lance worries his lip as he looks down at Sendak.

"I don't-" he cuts himself off and shakes his head. "What happened back there? During my dance routine?"

Sendak frowns.

"Your Black Paladin attacked you," he states coldly. "I put a stop to it. To any thinking they could touch you."

He squeezes Lance's hands.

"You are mine. Under my protection,” he reminds him and looks at Lance again, "no one else may have you."

Lance's eyes widen. That explains why he can remember Shiro's hand gripping his collar. But how had that happened? Why had that happened? Shiro would never do that. Never even showed interest in him before. It was like he was an entirely different person.

"You...put a stop to it?" Lance echoes with a frown, trying to collect his scattered memories. He doesn't remember what Sendak did, but that jolt of pleasure he can recall doesn't bode well.

Sendak reaches a hand to grip Lance's chin.

"You should not dwell on things that cause you pain,” he says firmly. "This isn't something that should concern you."

Sendak pushes to his feet and sits besides Lance, shifting his hands to Lance's waist.

"I reminded all that needed to know," he tilts Lance's head up, "that you belong to me."

He brushes his thumb against Lance's lips.

Though he can't exactly remember what had happened, Lance thinks he can put together a clear picture. When he'd woken up in their room after the event, his tunic was gone and his hair had still been damp from a recent bath.

Lance takes a deep breath and tries to reconcile himself with the plausible possibility that Sendak had fucked him in front of everyone important in the Galra Empire.

To his dismay, Lance realizes a large part of himself doesn't mind it one bit. In fact, he can feel his thighs grow sticky with slick.

Shame returns the color to Lance's cheeks and he clears his throat.

"What happened to Shiro?"

Sendak raises a brow.

“Nothing, while he did attack you, I merely pulled him off." He brushes Lance's cheek. "There is not much harm I can inflict on the Champion. Not without an uproar."

He slips his hand under Lance and settles him on his lap.

Lance nods and snuggles closer to Sendak's chest, seeking out his warmth. Sendak had protected him. Again. It was the fact that Lance had needed protection from his hero, more than anything, that continues to disturb him.

"I used to look up to him," he murmurs, dragging his fingers absently through Sendak's fur. "I still do. But Shiro's changed and he- he scares me, now. He never would've tried to hurt me before."

Sendak rests his hand on the small of Lance's back and exhales.

"He was not trying to hurt you, Lance. He wished to have you."

He does not meet Lance's gaze as he continues, "but he cannot. You are mine,” he pauses, "and you shall not have to see him again."

Lance blinks.

Shiro wanted...?

Another flash of memory, a hand on his waist and a fist full of his torn tunic. Lance doesn't know what to think of it. Years ago, back on Earth, he'd had posters of Shiro in his bedroom and liked to think of what it would be like to meet him. To talk to him.

To touch him.

But those had only been fleeting thoughts. What had happened on the stage was real. Lance supposes he should be flattered by Shiro's attention, but all he can feel is a bitter tang on his tongue at the memory.

He inches closer to Sendak and closes his eyes.

"I don't want to go to those events anymore," Lance whispers, tears blurring his vision. "Nothing good ever happens there."

Sendak nods.

"I will grant that."

Lance sniffs, gratitude and relief swelling in his chest. He'll never again have to go through the humiliation of being shown off like that. He won't have to see his friends hurt and broken. He won't be put in a situation in which he might do the wrong thing and anger Sendak again.

Azul jumps onto the bed and Lance lifts her up, pulling her to his chest and holding her close as he nuzzles and pets her. His jewel. Sendak has been so good to him, taken such good care of him. Spoiled him. Lance doesn't know what he could've possibly done to deserve it all.

"Thank you," Lance says softly and leans up to press a kiss to Sendak's jaw.

He'll always be able to count on Sendak to keep him safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A weekly update, as promised ;) At the moment it looks like Fridays might be a good update day. We'll keep you all posted! 
> 
> To those who are celebrating or have celebrated a holiday recently, we'd like to wish you a happy holiday and a happy new year (and decade!) :)


	16. Chapter 16

“Come now, get up."

Lance mumbles in his sleep, reaching out to push Sendak's offending hand away. He's tired. Whatever Sendak wanted, he'd have to wait.

Lance intends to spend the entire day in bed and no one can change his mind.

"Up now, boy," Sendak repeats, impatience creeping into his voice as he lifts Lance off the bed.

Lance groans and huffs, opening his eyes and grumbling as Sendak sets him down on the floor. He stretches his arms over his head and shoots Sendak a dirty look.

"Okay, fine, I’m up. Geez. Where's the fire?"

Sendak frowns and tilts his head.

“There is no fire," he states, pulling one of Lance's outfits from his closet. "I have been summoned to see Emperor Zarkon, and your presence is required."

The mention of Zarkon snaps Lance into focus. His eyes widen and he wordlessly accepts the outfit from Sendak's outstretched arm. He quickly dresses and takes an extra minute to wash his face in the bathroom.

"Is everything okay?" Lance asks in a small voice when he returns to the room. "Do I need to put on my makeup?"

Sendak cups Lance's face.

“I'm sure everything is fine,” he promises. "And you look beautiful. "Come,” he adds after a moment, “there is no time to waste."

Lance follows Sendak out of their room, cheeks still warm from the compliment. He wonders what Zarkon could possibly want from him. He hadn't addressed him or paid Lance any attention since their first encounter, when he'd wanted to make an example of him.

Lance's grip tightens on Sendak's arm. After all this time, surely Zarkon wouldn't want that from him? Voltron's defeat is old news.

When they enter Zarkon's chambers, Lance falls to his knees next to Sendak and lowers his head, grateful for the show of deference that allowed him not to meet Zarkon's eyes.

"Commander Sendak," Zarkon says in his deep voice, his version of a greeting.

Sendak salutes.

"Emperor Zarkon," he returns the greeting. "I am sorry if there was any delay," he apologizes. "What is it that I can do for you, Sire?"

Lance feels shame staining his cheeks. He knows he's the reason for their delay. What if Sendak got in trouble because of him?

"You have met my son, Prince Lotor," Zarkon says stiffly. Lance looks up and blinks at the Galra that steps forward from the shadows. His shining white hair is startling. It reminds Lance of the Princess.

He wonders why Zarkon said Prince Lotor's name with such obvious distaste. If this Galra was his son, shouldn't he love him?

"Prince Lotor,” Sendak greets the prince stiffly as he lowers his hand to Lance’s head. Lance's eyes immediately return to the floor.

"To what do I owe this... pleasure?"

"Prince Lotor has recently proven his usefulness to the Empire," Zarkon continues in the same, stiff tone. "And I have promised a reward to the one who solved the Tulexac problem Prince Lotor has offered a solution for."

Lance doesn't like where this conversation is going. Especially when he feels Zarkon's heavy gaze on him.

"Prince Lotor desires the Blue Paladin, Sendak. And I do not go back on my word."

Lance freezes and dread pools in his stomach, weighing him down like lead.

Zarkon's son wants to take him away from Sendak.

Sendak's gaze shoots from Prince Lotor to Zarkon.

"Sire, I don't mean to protest, but Prince Lotor did not capture the Voltron Lions. The Paladins. Certainly, that warrants me keeping my prize."

"Your actions are indeed commendable, Commander Sendak, and you will be appropriately compensated," Zarkon states coolly. "But my son has earned his own reward and is, even if it was erroneous, of my blood. If he wishes for the Blue Paladin, he is his to take."

Sendak's lips twist into a scowl.

"Vrepit sa,” he says with a stiff salute and looks down at Lance before looking up to meet Prince Lotor’s gaze.

"You may follow us to gather the human's things."

Reality as Lance knows it comes crashing down with two words. He gasps in pain, a physical reaction to Sendak's agreement to hand him off to a stranger as if he was nothing but a plaything he must share. A doll with accessories Prince Lotor was going to take with him to a new room. A new ship.

Lance's knees buckle beneath him as Sendak pulls him up to his feet and he can't support his weight.

"No," Lance shakes his head and refuses to stand up. His shoulders tremble.

Sendak owns him. They belong together. How can Sendak do this to him?

Sendak leans down with a sigh and lifts Lance up, cradling him in his arms.

"Follow me," he says coolly to Prince Lotor before respectfully bowing to Zarkon and leaving.

Sendak maintains a sizeable distance between him and the prince as they walk back towards his ship. After turning the third corner, Sendak tilts his head and whispers in Lance’s ear.

"I will get you back,” he says firmly. "Look at me, boy," he shakes him a little, "this is merely a setback. You are mine,” he reminds him and brushes a thumb over Lance’s leg.

Lance almost misses Sendak's words, whispered just loud enough to be heard over Lance's hiccupping sobs. He doesn't usually cry like this, but Lance can't seem to stop. Not even when Sendak promises him that this was only temporary.

"I don't want to go with him," Lance says desperately, clinging to Sendak's shoulders. "Please, don't make me leave you!"

Having reached their chambers, Sendak shifts Lance in his arms and, ignoring the prince's presence, he pulls Lance into an embrace.

"It is out of my hands, sweet one. But I will get you back. You know who you belong to."

He pulls Lance back and brushes a clawed finger against the cascade of tears.

"Be brave for me."

Lance wants to be brave. He really, really wants to. But the mere thought of being separated from Sendak feels like someone is carving a hole in his chest. Lance thinks he's going to be sick as he watches Prince Lotor's sentries carry his things out of Sendak's room.

Lance rushes to the bathroom and empties the contents of his stomach.

A minute passes before Sendak walks into the room. He kneels by Lance and rubs his back.

There is silence between them.

"You are scared,” Sendak breaks it and grabs a towel to wipe Lance's face.

"I will get you back, sweet one,” he cups Lance’s face and smiles. "If you cannot be brave, then I ask that you have faith in me."

He gathers Lance in his arms.

"Can you do that?"

Lance's body trembles as he looks up at Sendak. He closes his eyes and tries to commit Sendak's warm, gentle touch to memory. When he opens his eyes, he offers Sendak a small, shaky smile.

"Okay," he rasps, voice small but certain. He trusts Sendak. He'll have to put his faith in his ability to get him back. "I'll wait for you."

Sendak kisses Lance's head and smiles. "I know you will."

He helps Lance to his feet and places his hands on Lance's waist and squeezes.

"It will be sooner than you think,” he promises.

Lance nods and pulls away to clean himself up before Sendak guides him back into the main room, where Prince Lotor was waiting for them with a bored expression, arms crossed as he leans against the wall.

"Said your goodbyes," Prince Lotor observes, gaze flicking to Sendak with a vicious smile.

"Good."

He pushes off the wall and approaches Lance, gripping his chin and turning his head from side to side, ignoring the growl from Sendak. Lance flinches and scowls at him before yanking his face out of Prince Lotor’s grasp.

The prince looks back at him, unphased.

"Come now, Paladin, time to go."

Looking back at Sendak one last time, Lance swallows thickly and follows Prince Lotor out of the room.

He doesn't know what's waiting for him on the prince's ship, but whatever it is, he'll be back here with Sendak soon enough.

Lance has to believe it.

He follows the silent procession off Sendak’s ship, through Zarkon’s halls, and into an unfamiliar, smaller ship. The prince taps his shoulder and indicates for Lance to follow him, eventually stopping in front of a door.

“This will be your room,” he states, the doors opening to unveil a small but cozy chamber, Lance's belongings in the corner as Azul walks curiously around.

Lance feels a quiver of relief at the sight of Azul and starts to walk towards her but is stopped by Prince Lotor grabbing his arm.

"We will be having our meal in three vargas. I expect your presence,” he states. "But should you not feel up to it, speak to a sentry or one of my Generals and a meal will be sent here."

He tilts Lance's head up.

"You are not a prisoner, Lance."

Lance frowns and steps back, crossing his hands over his chest. He doesn’t like the sound of his name on the prince’s tongue.

"Oh, yeah? Then can I leave?"

Prince Lotor raises an amused brow.

"I can assure you, what is beyond my doors is not a life you want."

He pulls back and offers a smile.

“But yes, if after these quintents you no longer wish to stay, I will not stop you. However,” the prince meets Lance’s gaze, “I think we share some common goals, you and I, and I would appreciate if you lent your ear to me, just for a little while."

Lance narrows his eyes. He didn't actually expect Prince Lotor to agree, deadline or not. He doesn't trust that smile.

"I have nothing in common with the son of Zarkon," Lance sniffs and purses his lips.

Prince Lotor offers a shrug.

“You may change your mind about that,” he states. “For now, you must be tired, go get some rest. One of my Generals will get you in a few vargas."

He looks at Lance through the doorway, before speaking again.

"Lance," he says, "if you were offered to go home or to return to Commander Sendak, which would you choose?"

Prince Lotor doesn't wait for an answer as the door slides shut.

Lance's eyes widen as the prince leaves him with an impossible question. Impossible, because he'd never be able to go home. To Earth. He'd given up on that dream a long time ago.

But the prince mentioned returning to Earth as casually as choosing to wear a blue tunic over a white one. Something doable, plausible.

Lance sits down on his new, temporary bed and gathers Azul into his lap. She mewls unhappily, not liking being displaced any more than Lance does.

He presses his lips into a thin line as he rubs Azul's head comfortingly. There was no point thinking about Prince Lotor's question. He was simply playing a mind game with him.

Lance knows better than to trust him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! We hope you've all started the new year on a good note (better than Lance at least, haha)! 
> 
> We hope you've enjoyed the chapter and will stay tuned for next week ;)


	17. Chapter 17

Three hours pass since Lance was left alone in his room. He’s had the time to go through the first few stages of grief. His denial had been short lived; Sendak did not give him the luxury of refusing to acknowledge their separation for long. His anger was quick to replace his shock, and Lance has been stroking Azul’s fur rather aggressively for the past half hour at the very least, muttering words his mother would never allow in her house.

Azul has apparently had enough of him and his misery. Lance reels back in surprise as she flicks her tail in his face and jumps off his lap.

Regretting his rough petting, Lance is about to climb off the bed and retrieve his affronted cat when he hears a knock. His shoulders tense as the door opens, revealing a big, broad and unfamiliar alien.

She looks across the room at Lance with a scowl.

"It is time to eat. Would you like to join us?" Her arms cross in obvious discontent.

Lance stares at her for a long moment before turning away.

"No," he says bluntly. If he's given the option, he'd rather not break bread with Zarkon's spawn.

The alien lets out a growl, and Lance is pretty sure he hears her muttering under her breath, "why did he even bother with this?"

She focuses her steely eyes on Lance, then turns.

"Fine,” she states gruffly.

The door slides shut with a hiss.

Before Lance gets the chance to think about what had just happened, there’s another, gentler knock on the door. When it opens, a different alien walks in with a tray of food. Lance blinks. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone so colorful. 

"In case you're hungry,” she says with a lilt in her airy voice as she sets the tray down on the bedside table.

Lance wants to send the food away, to perhaps go on a hunger strike. Anything to make his presence a nuisance to Lotor and prompt him to send him back to Sendak. But his stomach rumbles at the smell of the food.

"...thanks," Lance says begrudgingly.

The alien shoots him a smile.

“Sure thing," she chirrups brightly before practically bouncing out the door.

Lance is left alone to eat and, as promised, isn't disturbed.

.x.

A day passes, at least that's what Lance thinks, and even Azul's company isn't enough to alleviate Lance's loneliness anymore. There's only so much crying and feeling bad for himself he can do. So when the angry alien knocks at his door again and announces that dinner is being served, Lance reluctantly follows her.

The table she leads him to is far too big for the amount of people seated at it. Lance recognizes the nice alien who has been bringing him his meals, as well as Prince Lotor. There are two other aliens, both female, who look at him curiously from their seats. Or well, one of them is looking at him. Lance thinks the second one might be blind.

The angry alien gestures towards the empty seat to the prince's right and Lance hesitates for a moment before sitting down.

Prince Lotor smiles at him.

"Thank you for joining us, Lance," he says gently, motioning to the food before them. "Eat as much as you would like. Then, perhaps after, we could speak."

Lance presses his lips into a thin line before reaching for a basket with what looked like bread. From Earth. But that was impossible, even the Earth stores didn't sell bread.

Lance's eyes widen as he takes a bite.

Fresh bread.

He blinks away a stray tear and proceeds to finish the entire roll in three bites. He then turns to Prince Lotor.

"Where the hell did you get bread?" He demands.

The prince folds his napkin in his lap and looks at Lance with an amused expression.

"I thought you might like a little taste of home,” he says easily. "Worry not," he lifts his hand in a reassuring gesture, “our expedition was merely for a recipe and your..." he pauses, thinking over the word, "yeast. There are many similar recipes across space. Something I’m certain your Yellow Paladin would appreciate."

Lance bites his lip. He doesn't like the idea of Zarkon's son going to Earth for any reason. But what alarms him more is Prince Lotor's mention of Hunk.

"How do you know that?" Lance asks sharply. "Is Hunk here too?"

The prince takes a bite of his meal and exhales, setting the utensil down to look at Lance.

"No, unfortunately. Amongst all of you, it was you, Lance, who I could easy separate from your captor. It is this that I would like to discuss. After we finish dining."

Lance folds his arms and leans back in his chair.

"No. You tell me right now what's going on. I don't belong to you, you can't just ignore my questions like that."

Prince Lotor's lips twist with amusement.

"I suppose you are right,” he states and leans back in the chair. “Alright," he takes a deep breath. "Lance, I wish to reunite Voltron, and you are going to help me."

Lance blinks.

"Reunite Voltron?" He repeats before snorting and reaching for another piece of bread.

"Yeah, right. You expect me to believe that the prince of the Galra Empire wants to reunite Voltron? Nice try."

“What reason would I have to lie?” Prince Lotor posits, lifting a tray of what might’ve been butter and offering it to Lance. “Despite appearances, my father would have gut me on sight if I did not offer him something he wanted.”

Lance isn't familiar with Galran politics, despite the number of meetings Sendak had taken him to. They always used words he didn't understand, terminology he couldn't pick up on, and at some point he'd stopped listening. He's pretty sure he's never heard Prince Lotor's name being mentioned. Lance hadn't even known that Zarkon had a son.

And he'd noticed the animosity between the two in Zarkon's chamber.

Still, that didn't explain why the prince wanted to reunite Voltron.

"But why?" Lance blurts out, ignoring the tray Prince Lotor had passed him.

“Why? Why would I want to stop my father from destroying every free thinking lifeform in the universe by any means possible?”

The prince raises a brow.

“Zarkon has ruled the universe far too long and has hurt far too many. You and Voltron stood a chance. But you lost. That doesn’t mean you aren’t valuable.”

Lance frowns, confused. He's never heard any Galra speak this way about Zarkon. Even when Sendak disagreed with his orders, he never spoke a word against the Emperor. It's startling. Lance looks around the table, anxious to see the other aliens' reactions, but none of them look surprised.

Lance wonders if this is the reason father and son don't get along.

"So let me get this straight," Lance says slowly. "You took me away from Sendak just so you could try to put Voltron together again?"

Prince Lotor leans forward in his chair, hands placed together in an arched fashion.

“Yes, that about sums it up,” he says, offering a smile to Lance.

Lance's eyes flash and he stands up.

"Did you take a minute to think that, I dunno, maybe I don't want to put myself and my friends in danger again for a pipe dream? We had no idea what we were getting into, but now it's obvious that Voltron doesn't stand a chance. Especially not after everything that's happened to us."

He leans forward to quickly grab another roll and scowls.

"I'm happy with Sendak. I don't need to give Zarkon a reason to make an example of me or even worse, of my planet."

Prince Lotor sighs.

“Lance, it is only a matter of time before Emperor Zarkon sets his sights on your planet. Your inaction will not delay this.”

Lance stiffens.

Could that be true? Would Zarkon really decide to invade Earth? But it was so far away. What could he possibly want from them?

Still...Sendak had told him that the Empire was larger than he could even comprehend. Maybe it was closer than Lance thought.

His resolve starts to waver before he realizes that should he re-join Voltron, he won't be able to be with Sendak anymore.

He'd have to fight him.

The mere thought of it makes Lance ill. He shouldn't have eaten all that bread, delicious as it may be.

"No," Lance says in a trembling voice. "I-I can't-!"

The tears return full force and Lance dashes out of the room, pulse pounding in his ears.

He doesn't want to have anything to do with Prince Lotor and his dangerous ambitions.

.x.

Lance replays his conversation with the prince multiple times in his mind over the next few days, trying to critically analyse every word he can remember, every point. But as much as the opportunity to save himself and his friends appealed to him, a primal part of Lance completely rejects the notion that he needs to be saved.

He belongs to Sendak. Belongs with Sendak. Lance's chest hurts every time he thinks about him. Despite the bed in his room being just as comfortable as the one Lance shared with Sendak, perhaps even more so, Lance finds it difficult to fall asleep all alone.

He misses Sendak.

The memory of the drastic consequences of Voltron's loss haunts Lance every time he even considers taking Lotor up on his offer. He'd been lucky to leave with his life. Not everyone had.

But perhaps the biggest deterrent of all was the fact that should he choose to fight, Sendak would be on the other side of the battlefield.

And Lance doesn't know if the thought terrifies him or breaks his heart. Probably both.

Lance doesn't leave his room much over the next few days, takes most of his meals in his room as he dwells. His inner turmoil catches up with his physical health on the fourth day. Lance barely has a chance to open his tired eyes in the morning before he scrambles to the bathroom and expels last night's dinner.

Great. Absolutely wonderful. Now he's sick, on top of everything. Just what he needed.

Lance does not hear the knock on his door, does not hear Prince Lotor enter the room, and he starts as he feels a hand rubbing his back. He doesn't have the chance to turn around and figure out who it is- his stomach continues to rebel against him. By the time Lance is done, he's too weak to reject Prince Lotor's hand that helps him up to his feet.

"Come with me, we will assess what is the matter."

Not left with much of a choice, Lance follows the prince out of his room, silent and wary.

Prince Lotor helps Lance into the med bay, small as it was, and with precision begins to assess him.

"Have you considered any more to what I said?" He asks as he presses a tool to take Lance's temperature.

Lance scowls as the prince shoves something into his mouth. He doesn't like Prince Lotor touching him. It reminds of him of the Druids that would come to examine him, cold and detached.

"Maybe," Lance mumbles around what he thinks might be a thermometer.

Prince Lotor removes the device and gives a satisfied hum.

"I suppose now is the part where you hold me in suspense of your answer," he replies dryly as he continues to assess Lance.

"I can't do it," Lance shrugs, pulling away from the prince. He really doesn't like his hands on him. "I think it's a cool idea, kudos to you for wanting to save the universe and all that, but you're just gonna have to find a different Blue Paladin. Good luck, let me know how it went."

Lance tilts his head.

"Can I go back to Sendak now?"

Prince Lotor exhales heavily.

“Let us finish these tests and make sure you are well enough to return to my father's ship,” he suggests and lifts Lance's tunic. He presses on his stomach.

“Where do you feel pain?"

Lance gasps and slaps the prince's hand away, face burning.

"You can't touch me like that!" Lance says in a shrill voice, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?"

Prince Lotor offers a stiff smile.

“This may be difficult of you to believe, Lance, but I care about you and your friends. You were naïve and ill-prepared. That does not mean you deserve to be in eternal servitude to the Empire."

He resumes his touching.

“Now tell me where you feel pain, I wish to soothe your nausea."

Lance groans and gives up his attempt to pull away from the prince's probing hands. Prince Lotor might not be as big as Sendak, but he was still bigger and stronger than Lance. And while Lance might've been incentivized to fight regardless in the past, now he feels...resigned.

"My stomach hurts. And my chest," Lance grumbles and looks away. "But that's just cuz I practically hacked up a lung."

Prince Lotor nods and finishes his assessment, drawing Lance's shirt back down and trying to meet his eyes.

"I will have Ezor give you something to soothe your stomach,” he states then helps Lance up.

“Just one more thing before I release you," he says and motions to a big machine in the corner, "this will give a full diagnosis of the issue. When we have that, we can treat you fully."

He reaches out and takes Lance's chin.

"And if after that point you still wish to return to Commander Sendak, I will not fight that."

Lance looks at the large, looming machine in the corner of the room. He doesn't trust it. For all he knows, it was meant to zap to a crisp anyone who lies on top of it. But looking between Prince Lotor and the exit, Lance knows he has no chance of escaping.

And, well, the promise of returning to Sendak was hard to resist.

"Fine," Lance huffs and climbs onto the machine, staring resolutely up at the ceiling.

A glass comes over Lance as soon as Lotor turns the machine on.

"Do not panic," the prince’s voice sounds distant, "it won't take long."

The machine whirls and makes a lot of noise, which doesn’t help soothe Lance’s nerves. He looks up at the prince, who was studying a screen, and notices that his eyes widen for a moment. By the time the glass goes up and Lance is helped back up onto his feet, the prince’s eyes are back to normal.

"Just a stomach bug, it seems. Go back with Ezor, get some rest."

Lance thinks to ask about the surprise he’d witnessed, but he has a more pressing issue to address than the prince’s facial expressions.

"So can I go back to Sendak now?" He asks, raising a brow.

Prince Lotor is quiet for a moment, and then speaks.

“We will return to my father's hull. Then you may decide what you wish to do,” he states just as Ezor appears in the doorway.

"Take Lance back to his room, he needs bedrest."

Lance diligently takes the medicine Ezor (which was apparently the colorful alien’s name) gives him for his stomach, but it does absolutely nothing to cure his nausea- if anything, it gets worse. From merely puking in the morning, Lance is now forced to rush to the nearest bathroom at the mere smell of something that doesn't completely agree with him.

He's absolutely devastated when his favorite cheese makes him want to hurl.

By the time he returns to the dinner table the following night, everyone else's plates are already empty. Lance sinks into his chair with a miserable groan.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to poison me," Lance huffs in Prince Lotor's direction and reaches for a roll.

The prince smiles slyly.

“Oh Lance, you should know by now, you're far too valuable to poison." He pushes a dish towards Lance and nods to the other generals to excuse themselves before looking back at Lance.

“Tell me, what is it about Commander Sendak that compels you to return to him?"

Lance looks at Prince Lotor blankly, unimpressed with his humor. At the mention of Sendak, however, Lance's expression softens.

"I...I love Sendak," Lance says quietly, openly admitting it for the first time. He'd never put his feelings for Sendak into words before, but that must be it, right? He misses Sendak terribly. He wants him. Needs him. Feels lost without him.

A lump forms in Lance's throat as he thinks about the way Sendak smiles at him. He only ever smiles at Lance.

"Would you have said that before the surgery?" The prince asks.

Lance presses his lips into a thin line. He doesn't like to think about the surgery.

"Before the surgery? Yeah, probably," Lance says, thinking about the time he and Sendak spent on their own in Sendak's ship, far away from Zarkon and the rest of the Galra. "But it's a process. Love doesn't happen overnight."

Prince Lotor leans back in his chair, "I see."

He’s silent for a moment before clearing his throat.

“Well then, I suppose you will be happy to return to Emperor Zarkon's ship." He presses his lips together. "Commander Sendak has implemented a Kral Nede."

He sees the blankness in Lance's eyes and raises a brow.

"Custody, Lance."

Lance's eyes widen.

"Sendak is coming for me?" Lance asks, nausea gone. Hope and excitement bubbles in his chest instead.

"When can I see him?"

Prince Lotor crosses his arms.

“When we return and the session begins. Until that time, you are still on bed rest."

Lance makes a show of pouting, but his excitement continues to warm him even as he's guided back to his room to rest. He tries to bite back his smile as he lies down in bed, but how can he?

Sendak is coming for him, just like he'd promised. And once they're together again, Sendak will make sure that no one else will ever be able to tear them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! We hope 2020 has been treating all of you well so far!
> 
> We'd like to take a moment to really thank you all for your lovely comments and support. We thrive on it, no comment is too short or too long! The story still has a way to go, and we hope you'll continue to read and see Lance's journey through.


	18. Chapter 18

Unsure of how long it would take to return to Zarkon’s base, Lance has taken to packing his things, going from the superfluous to the daily necessities he’s been using while on Prince Lotor’s ship. The sentries who had taken his things from Sendak’s room had somehow unpacked them so quickly, creating the illusion of ease.

Lance has been packing all day, and he’s only about halfway through his things. He hadn’t realized the sheer volume of _stuff_ Sendak had gotten him. Somehow, it didn’t look like all that much when they were in Sendak’s quarters.

Lance is drawn out of his tired pondering by a knock on his door. It slides open to reveal Prince Lotor, carrying what looked like folded clothes in his arms.

“Excuse the intrusion, Lance," he says as he walks in, “but it is time to start the Kral Nede."

The prince lays the clothes down on Lance’s bed.

“Forgive the insult, Emperor Zarkon commands you wear it."

Lance looks at the tunic and narrows his eyes. There was even less fabric there than in the outfits Sendak reserved for Lance to wear in their chambers.

Lance doesn't even want to know why Zarkon wanted to see him in it.

"Whatever," Lance rolls his eyes and stands up. He feels a little woozy for a moment before things come back into focus. "There won't be a lot left of it by the time I'm back in Sendak's chambers," he comments with a smirk.

Ever since admitting his feelings for Sendak to Prince Lotor, Lance has found a new form of entertainment- watching the prince become uncomfortable whenever Lance spoke about his relationship with Sendak. He considers it payback for all that touching in the med bay.

Prince Lotor visibly grimaces and turns to leave without another word. The next time someone knocks on Lance’s door, he’s dressed and buzzing with nervous energy. Narti, the blind and silent General, leads him off the prince’s ship, her odd alien cat leading the way like a guide dog would on Earth.

Despite the knowledge that this ‘Kral Nede’ or whatever was going to end with him going home with Sendak, Lance still feels considerably uncomfortable as he walks down the familiar halls towards Zarkon's throne. He shivers as Narti wordlessly gestures for him to continue through the sliding doors alone.

Lance immediately lowers his head and falls to his knees when he stops in front of Zarkon. It isn't even a rational thought that tells him to do so- it's a physical reaction, something he has no control over. He shudders as Zarkon's voice rumbles in the room and his scent overwhelms him.

"You have caused much unrest within my ranks, Blue Paladin," Zarkon notes. "You do not deserve this attention, not even after your transformation."

Lance keeps his head down, though his face burns in shame. How does everyone know about his surgery? Was his tunic really so transparent?

"However, I have been asked to make a ruling in this Kral Nede, and as Commander Sendak is one of my best commanders, I'm inclined to hear him out."

Lance can feel Zarkon's heavy gaze on him and tenses. He exhales in relief once Zarkon looks away and summons a guard to call Sendak and Prince Lotor into the room.

Heavy footsteps sound from the back of the room.

"Vrepit Sa, Emperor Zarkon. Thank you for hearing me this quintant."

Lance's eyes widen and it takes every bit of his willpower to stop himself from jumping to his feet and flying into Sendak's arms as he hears his voice. He holds his breath as Sendak approaches the throne and stands close enough for Lance to inhale his scent.

Lance's entire body relaxes. Now that Sendak is here, everything will be alright.

"I have an Empire to run, Commander Sendak," Zarkon says in a clipped tone. "You will do well to be quick and to the point. What is your claim over the Blue Paladin?"

Sendak nods stiffly, sparing a quick glance to Lance before stating, "he is with offspring. My progeny. He belongs to me, for this reason among others."

Lance blinks. He'd figured that Sendak would remind Zarkon that he'd been the one to capture Voltron, that he deserved to keep his prize. But he never thought Sendak would tell such a blatant lie- to Zarkon, no less.

Did Sendak think that Zarkon had no concept of human anatomy? It was a risky move.

Lance bites his lip as Zarkon turns to Prince Lotor and asks him to confirm the information. He waits for the prince to tell his father than Sendak was lying, but much to his shock, the prince reluctantly confirms it.

“Yes, the Blue Paladin is pregnant with Commander Sendak's progeny."

Lance is baffled. What the fuck is going on? Why is Prince Lotor playing along? Was this his way of keeping his word to Lance that he can return to Sendak?

Lance doesn't question it. Not that he'd dare say anything in Zarkon's intimidating presence either way.

"In that case," Zarkon turns to look back at Sendak, "Commander Sendak’s claim now equals Prince Prince Lotor’s. This can only be settled with a Kral Nede, as per our tradition. Select your weapons”

Lance inhales sharply. When Prince Lotor had said that a Kral Nede was a custody battle, he didn’t actually think there was going to be a fight. But before he can start worrying about Sendak’s safety, the prince takes a step forward.

“I forfeit my claim to the Blue Paladin, father. I have no wish to bed an omega growing heavy with another’s seed.”

Lance’s face heats up and he stares at the floor. He knows this is Prince Lotor fulfilling his promise to him, but fuck, why does he have to make it sound so lewd?

“Then it’s settled,” Zarkon says brusquely. “Commander Sendak, the Blue Paladin is yours to keep. This Kral Nede is over.”

Sendak salutes Zarkon and gives Prince Lotor a confused glance before he turns to Lance. He doesn't wait for him to stand, opting to gather Lance up and lift him like a rag doll.

"Did I not say," he says in a low tone as they walk out of the throne room, "I would get you back."

Lance feels like he can finally breathe freely again, only for his throat to grow thick with tears as Sendak takes him down familiar corridors, back into their chambers.

Everything looks bare without his things. Empty. Lance wonders how long it will take to bring them all back from Prince Lotor's quarters. How Azul will take to being displaced yet again.

"I missed you," Lance whispers and hugs Sendak's neck.

Sendak sets Lance down on the bed.

“And I you, Lance,” he says, his paw brushing against Lance's cheek. "Did the half-breed hurt you?"

Lance preens at hearing his name coming from Sendak's lips, a rare treat. His face grows warm as he notices Sendak's roaming eyes. He does nothing to hide himself, though.

"No," Lance says in an uncertain tone, "but I think he might've put something in my food. I've been sick a lot."

Sendak leans down and inhales his scent. His hand glides down Lance's waist.

"Sweet one, that was not because of the food,” he states, his hand resting on Lance's stomach.

Lance's brow furrows in confusion even as he arches into Sendak's touch.

"Did he tell you I have a stomach flu? That's what he told me, but I'm not sure I believe him."

Sendak purrs as Lance melts at his touch.

"No, sweet one, it was not space flu."

He tilts Lance's head up.

"You will bare my offspring,” he says and smiles. "They grow in you as we speak."

Lance snorts and bats Sendak's hand away.

"Very funny. I still can't believe Zarkon fell for that."

Sendak pulls away.

“Why do you not believe what I say?"

Lance's amused smile fades away as he's lifted into Sendak's lap.

"Wait, you're being serious?" Lance asks with a frown. He hesitates before reaching out to cup Sendak's cheek.

"We've been over this. Human men can't get pregnant. I'm sorry to disappoint, but it's simply impossible."

Sendak takes one of Lance's hands and gently presses it to his stomach.

"You are an investment," he repeats. “All of you."

As much as Lance is happy to be back with Sendak, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't freaking out a little right now. For some crazy reason, Sendak keeps insisting that he’s pregnant. He seems pretty hung up about it, too.

What was Sendak going to do when he found out the truth?

"I...Sendak," Lance says carefully, using Sendak's name for the first time. "Why do you think I'm pregnant?"

Sendak pulls back a little, surprised.

"It,” he pauses and looks down at Lance, "it was a part of your surgery. We weren't certain it would work, but... here we are."

Lance blankly stares ahead as Sendak leans down to nuzzle him.

Now that the last piece of the puzzle has fallen into place, Lance knows deep in his gut that Sendak is right.

He really is pregnant.

With Sendak's child.

Lance is torn apart and rendered motionless by dual emotions, each equally strong. He has never felt so alienated from his body, so violated.

Yet at the same time, he's never felt so fulfilled.

Sendak pulls away and looks at Lance.

"Speak, sweet one, I know you have much to say,” he commands, adjusting their positions to lay Lance upon the bed.

Lance opens his mouth a few times and tries to speak, but nothing comes out. He shakes his head and sits up, wrapping his arms around his knees and gives Sendak a wary frown.

"You told me that the surgery was for giving us the option to fuck," Lance says bluntly. "You didn't say anything about giving me a womb. Or whatever the hell you put in there."

Sendak reaches out and takes his chin firmly.

“Yes, I lied to you,” he states without any remorse. "I knew you would not believe it even if I told you. And I was not certain that it would even work. You are uncharted territory for the Druids. But despite this lie, do you know what this means, sweet one?"

He doesn't wait for a response.

“We are bound to each other, you belong to me, and I... to you."

Lance bites his lip as he considers Sendak's words. Belonging to Sendak is something Lance accepted a long time ago, but the notion of Sendak belonging to him as well appeals to a base need deep in Lance's soul. He'd worried about Sendak tiring of him and setting him aside for someone else- this should be a relief, shouldn't it?

And yet, despite that comfort, Lance can't even start to describe all the different ways in which this is so, so wrong.

"I don't- this is just so messed up," Lance runs his fingers through his bangs as he tries to sift through his thoughts.

"Why would you even want to have a baby with me? Can Galra and humans even reproduce? Is it gonna be all malformed and die at birth? Wait a sec," Lance's eyes widen and his voice trembles, panic welling in his chest.

"Was this your plan from the start? To knock me up and have your monster alien baby burst out of my stomach like in that movie? Am I gonna die?"

Sendak snorts and reaches for Lance's arm.

“Stop this foolish thinking," he says firmly, his grip vicelike as he gets Lance to look him in the eye. "I have told you time and again what you are to me, and yet you doubt it."

He reaches with his other hand and grips Lance's chin.

"You are an investment, that means all of you, regardless of the spawn we create. You are in my care. And as for a creature coming from your stomach, you let your imagination run wild, that will not be the case. The Druids will care for you and our progeny."

Sendak releases Lance with a frown.

“You should consider this an honor, Lance. Many would lay down their lives to have children with someone like me. You will be well regarded by all after this."

Lance's mind reels with all of this new information, and he takes immediate comfort in the fact that he isn't destined to die a horrible, gruesome death in the near future. But despite Sendak's reassurance, Lance is still very much on the fence about this new development.

One thing irks him in particular, though.

Tears prick his eyes and Lance sniffs, trying to blink them away.

"You did it again," he says in a strained voice. "Doing things to my body without asking me. First the surgery, and now this- it's like you don't care at all about my feelings. What if I don't want to have a baby now, huh? What if I'm too young to be a dad? I'm not even twenty!"

Lance pauses and his eyes go wide.

"Shit, I think I might be twenty," he says quietly and pulls away from Sendak's grip with a huff. "And you didn't even buy me a cake."

Sendak reaches out and pushes Lance down onto the bed.

"Enough of your crying. You would rather I return you to the half-breed?" He asks accusingly. "If I had not done this, I would have never been able to reclaim you."

He brushes a gland at Lance’s neck.

"Would getting you this cake calm you?" He asks gruffly.

The panic that Lance feels bubbling in his chest at being pushed down onto the bed and threatened to be returned to Prince Lotor promptly vanishes once Sendak brushes his neck. He doesn't know why, but a strong sense of calm sweeps over him and leaves Lance pliant and languid against the pillows.

Maybe it was the promise of cake that did it. Lance really does love cake.

"...only if Hunk makes it," Lance says after a moment of consideration. There's another thought battling for attention in his head, the term 'half-breed' ringing a warning bell somewhere in the back of his mind, but Lance can't seem to focus on it. There's a thick veil between them and Lance doesn't have the energy to reach through and address it.

“Fine,” Sendak relents with a snort and presses a palm against Lance’s chest. “I have missed you,” he admits after a beat.

Lance's mouth spreads in a wide, lazy smile at Sendak's promise. Damn, if all he needed to do was have a little meltdown to get his hands on Hunk's baking, he should do it all the time. And maybe he'll even have the chance to give Hunk the good news!

Because having a baby with Sendak is excellent news. Sure, he'd freaked out a little, but ultimately this is a good thing. Lance has always wanted a family, and now Sendak is giving him one!

"Me too," Lance hums and extends his arms to wrap around Sendak's neck in an attempt to pull him down against him. "So much!"

Sendak doesn’t resist as Lance tugs him down. He purrs and places his hands on either side of Lance’s head.

“Did the half-breed treat you well in my absence?”

Lance worries his lip as he thinks about Sendak's question. He wants to find some sort of fault in Prince Lotor's treatment, but aside from a few boundary issues, he can't think of anything inherently bad. Lance thinks of telling Sendak about the prince’s plan to reunite Voltron, but even as he opens his mouth to mention it, the words don't come out.

Which is a shame, really. Lance is pretty sure Sendak would be very proud of him if he told him about it.

"...yeah, I guess," Lance shrugs and slides his fingers through Sendak's fur at the back of his neck. "He was boring."

Sendak barks out a laugh. Lance inhales sharply as Sendak's fangs brush over his sensitive skin and he shivers, clinging to Sendak's chest as he's pulled up and on top of him. 

“I do not bore you, do I, sweet one?” Sendak asks him teasingly.

"Hmm, I dunno," Lance says with a playful grin. "I'm practically falling asleep here."

Sendak lets out an almost indignant sound and with a clawed finger, he tears the fabric of Lance’s tunic, leaving him bare from the waist up.

“Let us fix that.”

Lance gasps and looks down at his ruined tunic.

"You're lucky that's the ugly one Zarkon gave me," Lance chastises and pretends to try and push away from Sendak's lap, hands pressing against Sendak's chest.

Chuckle low in his throat, Sendak rests his palm on the curve of Lance’s ass and keeps him pinned close.

“Then I shall buy you another,” he states.

Lance hums and gives an approving, slow roll of his hips.

"You're gonna havta buy me loooots of new clothes," Lance drawls and runs his nails over Sendak's shoulders. "I'm gonna get fat with this kid of yours."

Sendak purrs and sets a protective hand upon Lance’s belly.

“I shall take care of all your needs, sweet one,” he promises and presses his fingers between Lance’s thighs.

Lance moans, arching his back both at the words and at Sendak's hand between his legs. He doesn't know what has affected him more, the promise of being taken care of or the physical touch.

It has been a while since they last shared a bed, after all.

"Well, I need you," Lance says breathlessly, rocking his hips against Sendak's hand. His whole body feels unbearably hot, and Lance briefly wonders if he's getting one of those heat waves again. The kind he had the first time Sendak fucked him.

Sendak grips Lance’s hip in one hand and tears the rest of the fabric away with the other.

“How should I address your needs right now, sweet one?”

Lance whines and chases after Sendak's touch, disappointed when he pulls his hand away. Sure, it was meant to help him by pulling the rest of the awful fabric away, but still. He craves the friction.

"Do what you usually do," Lance huffs.

Sendak smirks and nods, carefully he adjusts Lance to sit upon the bed. He stands and begins to unbuckle his armor.

Lance waits, leaning back against the pillows as Sendak rids himself of his layers of clothing and armor. But fuck, it was taking him forever. At some point, Lance is certain that Sendak is being slow on purpose.

"C'mon," Lance whines. He looks up at Sendak with wide, sad eyes and spreads his legs. "Don't you want me?"

Lance’s words must’ve stuck a cord in Sendak, as the rest of his clothes are quick to fall off before he slips back onto the bed.

“You know I do,” he states evenly. He grabs Lance’s legs and tugs until he’s laying upon the bed.

Warmth washes over Lance at Sendak's admission and he eagerly raises his hips to meet Sendak's. He groans and squeezes his eyes shut as Sendak pushes into him, making him feel impossibly full. It was still an adjustment after going so long without Sendak in him, but he isn't in pain. If anything, a deep part of him is finally sated.

Sendak has officially reclaimed him.

Lance clings to Sendak, sliding against him with every thrust. He'd really needed this, had been craving it every since his first night alone on Prince Lotor's ship. When Sendak shifts him back into his lap, pressing even deeper, Lance cums with a cry, digging his nails into Sendak's arms.

Hewhimpers as he feels the all too familiar and sorely missed feeling of Sendak filling him up a minute and a few more thrusts later. Hot stickiness trickles down his thighs and Lance sighs, crumpling against Sendak's chest.

"....maybe not so boring after all," Lance mumbles.

Sendak cradles Lance to his chest and deep, pleased rumble leaves his chest.

“We shall be returning to my territory in a few quintants,” he says conversationally.

Lance nods against Sendak's chest, snuggling against the fur and closing his eyes.

"Good. You were nicer there."

Sendak is quiet for a moment.

“I know I hurt you,” he states solemnly, “when we returned here.”

He sighs.

“You know why I had to do such things, don’t you?” He questions.

Lance doesn't want to think of the bad things Sendak did to him during their time in Zarkon's territory. Of the humiliation he'd gone through. It was easier to forget about it. To ignore and believe it won't happen again.

"You were protecting me," Lance parrots, knowing that was what Sendak wanted him to say. To think. He doesn't quite understand how allowing another Galra to touch him in front of everyone was protecting him, but-

He doesn't want to think about it. If Sendak says that's what it was, then that was that.

Sendak nods at the words.

“Exactly,” he parts Lance’s sweat-soaked locks. “Now you and our offspring will be under my protection.”

Lance looks away and blinks away tears that came out of nowhere. Wasn't he just happy? Why does he feel like crying?

"I want Azul," he whispers and sniffs. "I-I want all my stuff back."

Maybe, once they're back in Sendak's territory and all of Lance's things are in their place, he'll be able to pretend that the last few months in Zarkon's territory never happened.

Sendak nods.

“In time, sweet one,” he states and rubs Lance’s back. “Now, you should rest. You are not sleeping just for yourself anymore.”

Lance nods and allows Sendak to manoeuvre him back onto the bed. He doesn't ask for a bath- he's too tired to move, much the less bathe himself. He makes a satisfied sound as Sendak slips behind him and drapes his flesh arm over his waist, holding him close.

Things are going to be better, now. Lance just knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not fret, dear readers- this is not the last time you'll hear of Lotor ;) But while the prince makes his plans and schemes, we are happy to confirm that after months of speculations, yes, Lance is officially pregnant. We have added the tag to the story's ever growing collection of warnings, haha. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for all of your comments! We read and respond to each and every one <3


	19. Chapter 19

“Do you intend to sleep these remaining quintents away?”

Lance opens his eyes and gives Sendak a tired frown.

It’s been three months since he returned to Sendak, and though Lance has been enjoying all of the attention given him, it does take a toll on his body. His cheeks hurt from holding a smile for hours when Sendak takes him to one of his planets and presents him as his mate to the native population. His arms hurt from carrying all of the gifts they shower him with. And his lower back aches because of, well.

Sendak was always rearing to go after seeing Lance being celebrated for having his child.

"You try carrying a baby," he mumbles, yet wraps his arms around Sendak's neck without question. "Azul can sleep all day. So can I."

A deep chuckle echoes rumbles in Sendak’s chest and vibrates against Lance’s arm.

“I think not. Let us go planet-side, there are more who wish to shower you with gifts.”

The promise of more gifts is enough to perk Lance up. Still, he looks back longingly at the bed.

"...can't they come here?" He suggests and bats his lashes at Sendak. He has no real expectation for Sendak to comply, but he has to give it a try.

Sendak snorts and shakes his head.

“No, they prepared a ceremony and everything. Rather idiotic creatures. But innocent.”

He shifts Lance in his arms.

“You may remember them, Arusians I believe they like to be called.”

Lance's eyes widen, all traces of lethargy gone at the mention of the Arusians. The name brings back flashes of memories. Memories of celebrations with his friends. Of Coran, comforting him after he'd felt homesick. Of the explosion.

Of Sendak.

Lance squirms in Sendak's hold. He'd tried to supress his memory of Sendak killing Coran, but he can't pretend like it didn't happen anymore. Not when they're going to be on the planet where it all happened.

"I don't want to go," Lance states.

Sendak frowns.

“They wish to see you, Lance,” he says firmly.

Lance shakes his head violently.

"No. Nope. Not happening. I don't- I can't let them see me. Like this."

The last time he saw the Arusians, he'd been their savior. And now he was pregnant with the child of someone they needed liberation from. It was...embarrassing, to say the least.

Sendak hums in consideration and nods. “Very well,” he agrees and sets Lance back upon the bed.

“Then I will tell them the news.”

Lance bites his lip.

"Tell them- don't let them make a sacrifice or whatever, okay? I'm not angry with them. They didn't do anything wrong."

Sendak lifts a brow but nods.

“Whether they adhere to your words is beyond my control,” he states and turns to leave the room.

Lance hesitates for a moment, wondering if he'd made the right decision. Somehow, he can't imagine Sendak trying to calm down the Arusians if they try to offer up an appeasement sacrifice. Or well, maybe Sendak would try, but Lance can't see him succeeding.

Is Lance really willing to let an Arusian die because of his embarrassment?

"No, wait!" Lance calls out after Sendak and scrambles off the bed, rushing out of the room as fast as he can, which with the current size of his stomach, wasn't very much. He does manage to catch up with Sendak, however, and grab his arm.

"I'll go, okay? Let me just get dressed first."

Sendak turns as Lance grabs his arm and offers a smile. Before Lance can pull away, Sendak takes his chin and brushes his lips with a clawed finger.

"I knew you'd see reason,” he hums and walks Lance back to their room. He helps Lance into his favorite, loosest tunic and once Lance deems himself ready, scoops him back up into his arms.

"Shall we?"

Lance sighs and nods, tucking his head under Sendak's chin as he's carried out of the room again and down the ship's halls. He isn't looking forward to this in the slightest, but Sendak seemed to be oddly enthusiastic about this ceremony that was supposedly awaiting them. Lance has never seen him so interested in the inhabitants of his planets before.

Once they disembark from the ship, Sendak places Lance on the ground and motions for him to follow him to the large group of Arusians waiting for them nearby. He rests a hand on Lance’s shoulders as the Arusians stare at them with awe.

Lance's cheeks flush and he tries to keep his gaze on the ground. He's uncomfortable in so many ways.

While he's never been one to shy away from attention, he isn't too happy about the Arusians seeing him like this when the last time they'd met, he'd been wearing paladin armor.

Did they even remember that? Remember him? He's changed so much since then.

There’s music, and the Arusians begin to dance before a familiar figure appears and signals the musicians to stop their playing. The dancers stop as well and there’s whispering as the figure approaches Lance and stops right in front of him.

It’s the Arusian King.

"Is it you, Lion Savior?"

Lance flinches and takes a step back, towards Sendak. Though maybe he should try to distance himself from Sendak as much as he can. He isn't sure.

He raises his gaze and offers the Arusian King a nervous smile.

"Uh...yeah. That was me. Sorta. How- how have you been?"

The Arusian King gives a quick look to Sendak and bows.

“The repairs have been completed, all the proper sacrifices have been made to appease our overlord."

Lance frowns at the mention of sacrifices. What kind of sacrifices? Surely Sendak didn't order them to sacrifice one of their own just for his visit?

The Arusian King then returns his focus to Lance, and Lance is startled by the intensity of his gaze.

"Tell me, Lion Savior, why have you returned to us? Where are the others?"

Lance doesn't ask about the sacrifices. His mind is too busy coming up with an appropriate answer to the Arusian King's question.

"I, um. I'm with Sendak, now," Lance says carefully, cheeks burning. "The others are on Zarkon's ship."

The Arusian King frowns.

“The same overlord who wishes us to bestow gifts to his mate?" He asks, but doesn't wait for an answer.

"Lion Savior, you were a gift to our people, and now you ask us to dance for you. Give to you?"

He shakes his head.

"I have spurned my people wrong to have ever had faith in you,” he states, then claps his hands for the dancing to continue.

"We have many gifts to bestow upon you."

Lance feels like he'd just been slapped. Fuck, he knew he shouldn't have come. The Arusian King was absolutely right, it was cruel to ask them to shower him with gifts after having abandoned them and crushing their hope for freedom.

Lance thinks he's going to be sick.

He urgently tugs on Sendak's sleeve.

"We should go," he says, voice strained.

Sendak looks down at Lance and frowns.

“You worry for their feelings,” he infers. "You should not," he states as a chair is brought and sits down. “They are happy, are they not? Why worry for the past?”

Lance makes a sound of protest as he's lifted into Sendak's lap. He's absolutely humiliated and Sendak can't even see it. Won't acknowledge it. He shakes his head and hides his face in Sendak's armor, refusing to look at the spectacle the Arusians were unwillingly making of themselves.

The ceremony ends and Sendak collects Lance into his arms, carrying him back onto the ship. A sentry follows them, collecting the gifts they’d left behind. He frowns as he places Lance back on the bed.

"You are quiet. What is on your mind?"

Lance is immensely relieved to be back on the ship, away from the Arusians and from his failures. He sits up on the bed and reaches for Azul, pulling her into his lap to pet and hold close.

He pointedly looks away from Sendak.

Sendak scowls. He reaches out, taking Lance's arm and then tilting his head up.

"You dwell on the past and it brings you sadness. Why continue such foolish thinking?"

Lance huffs and runs his fingers through Azul's fur.

"I was supposed to free the Arusians from the Galra Empire, and now I'm pregnant with their Galra overlord's child. Don't you see how awful it is to ask them to give me gifts? How embarrassing it was to sit there?"

Sendak considers it for a moment and exhales. He takes a seat beside Lance and runs a hand through Lance's hair.

"You worry for this and I can see your logic. But the Arusians are better off now,” he states. "You don't believe me? Fine. Arus is a hot bed for bandit activity. The Arusians are simple creatures and don't know how to refuse. My territory offers them protection."

He tilts Lance's head up.

"In turn, they reward my future mate with gifts. You may have failed them, but you forget that that was not your destiny. You know who you belong to."

Lance bites his lip, pondering Sendak's point. Maybe Sendak was right, maybe the Arusians were better off with Sendak's protection. He was still embarrassed by the whole thing, but...

Maybe he shouldn't be.

Lance falls back onto the mattress with a defeated, tired sigh and doesn't try to chase after Azul when she jumps off the bed. He stares up at the ceiling and wonders if he'll ever feel okay with his failures as a paladin.

Sendak turns to look at Lance, placing a protective hand on Lance's thigh.

"Did I not promise," he says slowly, "that you would be able to fly my ship?"

Lance's eyes widen and he quickly sits up with a grunt.

"You're gonna let me pilot?" Lance asks, excitement washing away his existential ponderings.

Sendak nods.

"I do believe I am,” he smiles as he looks at Lance. "I will be there to assist. Come now." He helps Lance up to his feet and rests a hand on his belly.

"It is time we leave Arus behind."

Lance feels warmth spread through him as Sendak places his hand on his stomach. It was a physical reaction he can't quite understand, but whenever Sendak did so, it made Lance feel safe. Cared for.

He allows Sendak to guide him to the bridge. He looks around with renewed interest, nervous when he can't seem to identify any of the screens. And where were the controls?

"I don't- I've never piloted a Galra ship before," Lance states the obvious. "It's very different from the Blue Lion and the simulators at the Garrison."

Sendak brings his seat to the edge of the controls and gathers Lance onto his lap.

"First," he says, he opens the controls with the press of his metal hand. "Now, sweet one," he nods towards the controls, "move the bar, yes that one, move that up."

Lance's cheeks color with excitement as he's patiently taught how to use the different controls to bring the ship to life. He gasps as he suddenly feels the engine activate somewhere beneath them, rumbling bellow the deck.

It's been so, so long since he's done something like this.

When Sendak shows him how to shift the ship's course, Lance positively glows.

"This isn't the same kind of piloting I did with Blue," Lance states and turns around to look up at Sendak, "but I missed this."

Sendak gives a soft rumble, not unlike Azul when she was happy.

"Choose a course," he instructs as a star map pops in front of them.

Lance grins and turns to look over at the map, buzzing with curiosity over the seemingly endless choices. He considers a few planets before leaning back against Sendak's chest.

"I dunno, there are so many options," Lance shares his deliberation. "What's your favorite planet?"

Sendak brushes his hand through Lance's hair, tugging gently at the strands.

"Xoohatan,” he says thoughtfully. "It is a planet filled with hot springs. Ideal to relax."

Lance likes the sound of that. A hot spring sounds just like the thing he needs after such a stressful day.

"Then that's where we're gonna go!" Lance happily announces and searches the map for a minute before selecting Xoohatan. What a strange name, but Lance doesn't mind it. Not if it lives up to Sendak's promise of relaxation.

Sendak snorts at the enthusiasm and nods to another grip.

“Lift that and we shall be there in ten vargas,” he says as he shifts Lance until he is cradled in his arms.

Lance follows Sendak's instructions and soon enough the controls appear to work automatically, flying them to the coordinates Lance had chosen. How very different from the hands-on piloting Lance has done in the past, but now that he thinks about it, it was probably similar to the way the Castle of Lions operated.

He snuggles into Sendak's chest and smiles up at him.

"Thank you," he says and reaches up to cup Sendak's cheek. "That was fun!"

Sendak turns his cheek to meet Lance's hand.

“Tell me, sweet one, what have you done to prepare for our young?"

Lance blinks.

"Uh...am I supposed be to doing something?" Lance asks nervously. He feels like he'd just failed an important test.

"Is there a baby book I should be reading? I kinda assumed you'd just get all the supplies we needed," Lance bites his lip. "I could try out baby yoga if you want...?"

Sendak lets out a deep laugh.

“You are so strange sometimes,” he says warmly and cups Lance's cheek. “No, sweet one, have you prepared your nest... or well, that is what we call it," he nips lightly at Lance's neck.

"I am asking if you are prepared for the next stages," he clarifies.

Lance gives a breathy exhale at the nip at his neck, but he's still just as lost as he was before, if not more.

"A nest?" Lance repeats. "I don't- I'm not a bird," he huffs. "We can go shopping and get the baby a cradle if that's what you mean."

Sendak frowns.

"You will not stay with our offspring?"

Taken aback, Lance pulls away from Sendak's chest and looks up at him with a frown.

"What? Of course I will, what makes you think I won't," Lance huffs. "Do you want the baby to sleep with us on the bed? That's kinda dangerous, we might accidentally hurt it."

Sendak sighs. "Nevermind, we shall get whatever you think is necessary,” he relinquishes, the frown remaining.

Lance knows he'd disappointed Sendak, though he can't figure out why. What did Sendak mean about preparing? Making a nest?

Lance feels so lost.

"...I'm sorry," Lance whispers, tears brimming in his eyes. "You think I'm going to be a bad parent, don't you?"

Sendak stiffens.

“No. Don't you dare think that,” he orders gruffly, shifting Lance so that he straddles his leg, the bump between them telling.

"I would have never moved forward with such a decision if I did not know you were meant for this," he holds Lance's shoulders firmly. "You care for all and you care well, I need that in a mate."

Lance sniffs, blinking back the tears as he listens to Sendak's comforting words. Okay, so maybe he isn't going to be a horrible parent after all. It's difficult to doubt Sendak when he was being so sincere.

He shifts a hand and grips Lance's chin.

"You will be my mate, Lance, and my treasure,” he states, "and I would not let any other bare my children."

Lance flushes to the tips of his ears. Mate? Treasure? Sendak will never get anyone else pregnant?

It sounded an awful lot like a proposal.

"Are you," Lance clears his throat and places a hand on Sendak's chest. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Sendak shifts, his gaze falling on Lance’s hand on his chest. His nose scrunches up at the question and takes Lance’s hand in his own.

"You are already mine in every way but one,” Sendak says slowly, pulling Lance up to his feet and steadying him. "If ceremony will prove that, I do not see why it should not occur."

Just like his first time, Lance had many dreams and fantasies about proposing- or being proposed to.

Naturally, a diamond ring was involved. Flowers, beaches and sunsets also featured prominently in his daydreams. And again, as with his first time, his actual proposal (or had he technically been the one to propose?) was nothing like the way he'd imagined it.

But unlike his first time, Lance doesn't even think to be disappointed. How can he, when Sendak was offering to bind them together forever? To take care of him and their child and provide for them?

Lance couldn't imagine a more capable partner.

"Really?" Lance asks with thinly veiled excitement. "You really want to marry me? Exchange vows and everything?"

Sendak cups Lance's face with the palm of his hand.

"Do not make me repeat myself," he says, a soft rumble of a laugh leaving his chest as he looks down at Lance. He pulls his hand away and gathers Lance back onto his lap.

"Whatever you wish for, I will grant it, for this only."

Lance grins. So many new, good changes are happening in his life. A child, a partner- it was all his mother would've wanted for him.

A small voice nags in the back of Lance's head that his mother had always wanted for him to live his dreams, to reach for the stars. To be happy.

But he is, isn't he?

"I want to invite my friends," Lance decides and rests his head against Sendak's chest. He knows not to mention his family. Maybe in a few years, but not...not yet.

Sendak purrs.

“Very well. I will see what can be done,” he says, brushing a hand through Lance's hair. "But there are no guarantees. You understand that, don't you?"

Lance looks up with a wry smile.

"What, you mean you aren't all-powerful? Geez, I might be marrying the wrong Galra."

Sendak visibly bristles before relaxing at Lance’s teasing tone.

"I’m powerful enough when one of your so-called companions attacks you, sweet one,” he reminds.

Lance's smile fades as he remembers Shiro pushing him down and pinning him to the floor. He shivers and presses his face into Sendak's fur, closing his eyes as he inhales his soothing scent.

"It's not Shiro's fault," he says stubbornly, voice muffled.

"That may be so, but you are not safe in his presence. I will not permit you seeing him again,” Sendak states, resting a hand on the back of Lance's head.

Lance pauses and pulls away just enough to look up at Sendak's stern frown.

"I'm never going to see Shiro again?" Lance asks, incredulous. "But he's my hero!"

Sendak mirror his frown.

“Why do you let this bother you? It is not as though you have spoken to him since you became mine."

He cups Lance's chin.

“It has been almost two pheobs. Can you really consider these people your friends? You have me,” he says, his thumb brushing Lance’s lips.

Lance wants to explain that not technically seeing someone and being forbidden from seeing them were two different things, but Sendak's question catches him unawares and silences him.

His initial reaction is to deny it and say that of course the other paladins are his friends, but when he thinks about it...

Are they? Really? Or did he always refer to them as such because being stuck in space with no friends really sucked?

Lance hadn't exchanged more than a few words with Shiro during their short acquaintance. He'd always looked up to him, but could he call Shiro a friend? Would Shiro call him a friend?

Lance knew Keith a little better than Shiro, but they didn't interact all that much either- and when they did, their interactions weren't always friendly. Sure, Keith has been trying to look out for him ever since their capture, but Lance is willing to bet it was more out of a sense of duty than anything else.

Pidge had been on his team at the Garrison, but she had always been quick to excuse herself at the end of class and run off to her room or wherever she went. She hadn't been interested in socializing, and Lance knows very little about her.

Allura and Coran were little more than friendly strangers and neither were in Lance's life anymore. And as for Hunk-

Lance's chest tightens as he thinks about what has become of his best friend. The person his master has forced him to become.

Lance blinks back the tears that threat to fall and swallows thickly.

"Lance, you need no one else. You have me,” Sendak’s voice echoes in the room.

Lance takes a shaky breath and looks up at Sendak. He looks...confused. As if he couldn't understand why Lance wasn't immediately agreeing with him. As Lance shifts closer, his stomach presses against Sendak's abdomen and in that moment, it all becomes clear.

Sendak is right. Of course he is. Sendak is the father of Lance's baby and also his- well, sort of fiancé. They were in this for the long haul. Together. They're going to be a family.

Why would Lance need anyone else? He has everything he's ever needed in Sendak.

Sendak takes his silence in stride and cradles Lance closer. He brushes a claw down Lance's back and purrs softly, moving his hand to rub Lance's stomach.

"Soon," he hums.

Lance face flushes with pride at Sendak's obvious approval. With all of their misunderstandings lately, it was a nice reminder that Sendak wasn't completely disappointed in him. He lets out a faint gasp as he feels the baby kick.

It kind of makes him impatient to see the little tyke who's been ruling his body for the last five months.

"How soon?" Lance asks, though he knows the answer well enough. Never too late to hope that Sendak will give him a different answer, though.

Sendak rubs his palm over Lance's stomach and hums.

“Just another 4 movements," he states, looking down at Lance with what Lance has learned to identify as a warm smile. "So, very soon.”

Lance gives a dramatic sigh and shifts in Sendak's lap so that he can lean back against his chest.

"Fine," he grouses. "I guess I can deal."

Sendak grins and places kisses along Lance’s exposed skin.

"So brave, sweet one," he teases and brushes his hand up and down Lance's thigh.

"Is there something you would like to do?" He asks after another bout of silence.

Lance shivers and bites his lip as Sendak brushes his hand up his thigh. With his extended stomach claiming most of the fabric, his old tunics didn't leave much to the imagination.

And with his pregnancy libido, as Sendak had coined it a few months back, that didn't prove to be an issue.

"Mm, I dunno," Lance drawls and places his hand on top of Sendak's. He tilts his head back to shoot Sendak a sly grin. "I can think of a few things."

Sendak barks out a laugh, throwing his head back.

“Oh, sweet one, you still find ways to surprise me,” he teases and stands up, lifting Lance into his arms as he carries him out of the deck. Once they reach their room, he carefully places Lance back on top of the bed.

He leans in close as Lance's legs are spread and waiting, then nips at his neck.

“When you bear my progeny," he says huskily, "I will fill you with more of my seed."

He digs his claw into Lance's tunic.

"You will be full with my children,” he promises.

Lance moans as Sendak tears his tunic away and leans down to nip the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. He spreads his legs and inhales sharply when those sharp teeth brush over his stomach.

The intoxicating mix of danger and the reassuring knowledge that he was completely safe with Sendak goes straight to Lance's length and he whimpers at the imagery Sendak murmurs against his skin.

"Fuck," Lance swears and flings his head back, stretching his arms across the bed and bunching the blanket in his fists. "Why is that so hot?"

Sendak chuckles and coaxes Lance's legs even further apart, humming at the slick that greets him.

“Because you were made for it,” he replies evenly.

Lance whines and pants as Sendak presses a finger into him, sharp nail coated with enough slick to make it painless. Quite the opposite, in fact. Lance groans as Sendak sets a pace and he raises his hips in an attempt to coax the finger in deeper.

"That shouldn't be hot, either," Lance mutters and arches his back. "Stupid preggo brain."

Sendak chuckles and leans close.

"I rather like this ‘stupid preggo brain’,” he repeats as he slips another digit into him.

"Ah," Lance gasps and tries to move his hips even faster, but the weight of his stomach doesn't allow him to move as fast as he wants. He growls in frustration and lowers his hips back down onto the bed in defeat. He was getting tired.

"Yeah? Prove it," Lance huffs.

Sendak peers down at Lance and smiles.

“Oh, I shall,” he promises as he pulls his fingers out and tucks himself between Lance's thighs.

Lance's eyes flutter shut as Sendak sinks into him with a jerk of his hips. It should be more of an adjustment than Sendak's fingers, but Lance finds himself relaxing more than anything. Contentment fills him along with Sendak's cock and he feels whole, complete, with Sendak deep inside him.

He could probably fall asleep like this, if not for the throbbing ache between his legs.

Sendak's thrusts are firm and precise, filling Lance deeper with each thrust. He shifts and presses his palm against Lance's swollen length.

Lance turns his head and buries his face in the blanket as Sendak takes care of him. He tries to regulate his breathing as he pants and groans, but it's a lost cause. A tremor courses through his body and Lance clenches down on Sendak as he releases over his palm.

Sendak lets out a groan and Lance whines as Sendak continues to pound into him, his oversensitivity heightening his senses, but it doesn't last too long. Soon enough he can feel Sendak's warm seed inside him and he's back on top of the bed, fighting to catch his breath.

Sendak turns their positions and lets Lance lay upon him, turned to his side to better accommodate his stomach. He smiles as his hand rest possessively over Lance.

Lance can’t imagine being happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Things got a little wonky yesterday on the AO3 servers, so we had to repost the chapter. We hope we haven't caused any confusion! 
> 
> Anyway.... pregnancy fluff, amiright? ;)


	20. Chapter 20

During the Druids' most recent visit, they'd stated that Lance was due any day, and that they would prepare for the delivery. For all of Lance's impatient whining, now that giving birth was an imminent reality, he was starting to freak out. Kinda.

Or, well, a lot.

He has no idea how any of it is going to go. How it was supposed to work. None of it made sense anatomically, at least from what he'd been taught, but ever since the surgery his body has been challenging the most fundamental truths he'd been sure of.

And while Lance was terrified of asking the Druids himself, he didn't have a problem asking Sendak. But Sendak had a very vague idea of what the process entailed for him. He didn't even understand Lance's agonizing over if he was going to have to push, or if he was going to be cut open.

Sendak had shrugged and told him that it mattered not, as long as it did the job.

Lance can't even fantasize about having his mother with him. He'd never be able to imagine a scenario in which his mother would naturally accept his pregnancy without question and help him through the process.

So when Lance feels a stabbing pain in his back as he prepares for bed, he decides to ignore it. The longer he can put off this birth thing, the better.

His plan must have failed, though, because the next thing Lance knows, he’s being carried down the halls in only his nightshift. He opens his eyes with a pained gasp and looks up at Sendak in sleep-addled confusion.

"You are having our progeny,” Sendak answers his unspoken question in a clipped tone. “Do as the Druids say and this will be over shortly."

Lance's eyes widen with panic as Sendak's words sink in.

"No, I'm not-ah!" Lance cries out in pain and digs his nails into Sendak's shoulder. He pants and tries again. "I'm not ready!"

Sendak looks down at Lance as he carries him into the operation room and sets him down where the Druid points.

"You are, sweet one, you were made for this," he reminds him, then brushes his hair from his eyes. "You will be fine."

Lance shakes his head frantically and reaches out to grab Sendak's arm.

"Stay with me," Lance begs, skin clammy as he runs hot and cold. "Don't leave me with them!"

Lance can see the flicker of hesitation in Sendak’s eyes and digs his nails into Sendak’s arm a little harder. That seems to do the trick, as Sendak visibly steels himself and gives a sharp nod.

"I will remain here,” he states as the Druids hover around them both and reach for Lance’s shift, undressing him with precision. Lance doesn’t even care. All that matters is that Sendak is next to him, keeping him safe.

He tries to catch his breath as Sendak leans down to whisper in his ear.

“It will be over soon.”

.x.

Lance doesn't remember much from the actual delivery procedure. He remembers a lot of pressure and then a stabbing pain, followed by pleasure that clouded his thought. He was both present and not present at the same time, in pain and not in pain. Very disorienting, all in all.

But what he clearly remembers is Sendak's hand, holding his, and true to his word, never letting go.

Not even once.

When Lance finally focuses, he fully registers his exhaustion and the dull throbbing in the entire bottom half of his body. His mouth is dry and he clears his throat as he gives Sendak's hand a weak squeeze.

"Is it...is it over?" Lance asks in a hoarse voice, turning his head to look at Sendak.

Sendak looks at him with his eye and gives Lance a proud smile.

"See for yourself,” he states and pulls a trolley into Lance’s line of vision.

Lance would never tell a soul. He'd rather die than verbally admit to it. But when he sees his son for the first time, bare and quiet on the white linen of the trolley, Lance's first reaction is to recoil.

The creature that supposedly came from his body looks nothing like him.

Lance doesn't know what he'd been expecting, exactly. But it certainly wasn't a small, purple ball of fur with arms and legs. He should've expected this. Sendak was the one who'd impregnated him, after all.

But Lance had sort of been imagining a human baby. And what he got couldn't, in any terms, be called human.

Lance hates himself for it. For being disgusted with his own child. It wasn't natural, he was supposed to love his baby from the first moment he saw him. But then again, nothing about the process his son came to be was natural.

In an attempt to overcome his apprehension, Lance hesitates before releasing Sendak's hand and extending his arms in an open, silent invitation for Sendak to hand him their child.

Sendak gently lifts their child with one hand and deposits him into Lance's waiting arms.

"Meet Vhix,” he states, then looks at Lance. “It was the name of my grandfather, he was a noble and strong Galra."

He pushes Lance's locks from his face and lets him peer down at the baby.

"...Vhix," Lance repeats, the name foreign and cold on his tongue. Truth be told, he'd had his own thoughts about what he'd name his baby, and he's a little disgruntled that Sendak didn't think to consult with him at all about naming their son. But the names Lance had considered had all been human names.

And, Lance thinks dully as he looks down at Vhix, his baby isn't human. So he supposes it's only fitting to give him a non-human name.

Vhix squirms in his arms and Lance bites his lip. His mind tells him to hold the baby close, to soothe him, but Lance's body wants to have as little contact with Vhix as possible.

Sendak reaches out and tilts Lance's chin towards him.

“There is something on your mind. Speak it,” he says firmly and brushes his finger against Lance's lips.

Lance pulls away from Sendak's touch and shakes his head.

"No, I just-"

He flinches as Vhix reaches out and brushes a hand against his chest. Lance looks down, thinking to perhaps extend his arms so that Vhix won't be close enough to touch any other part of him, but he freezes when Vhix opens his eyes and looks up at him.

Blue eyes, the same blue eyes that stare back at Lance from the mirror, gaze up at him with unbridled curiosity.

Lance's chest constricts and his throat clenches. He swallows thickly, but the tears fall anyway.

Maybe his son has some of him in him, after all.

The silence is heavy and thick in the room before Sendak clears his throat.

"You should get some rest, sweet one.”

Affection, slowly but surely, starts to trickle through Lance's body, warm and syrupy like honey. Maybe he didn't fall in love with Vhix at first sight like other parents did, but Lance can see himself growing to love his son with time. Vhix was, after all, his own. It was difficult to equate the baby Lance used to sing to in utero with the bundle of fur in his arms, but Lance is determined to try.

Carefully, Lance brushes a finger over Vhix's cheek. It's soft, even more so than Sendak's, and Lance smiles when Vhix makes a little sound in the back of his throat.

"...yeah, okay," Lance agrees and looks at Vhix for another moment before gently handing him back to Sendak.

.x.

Lance wakes up to the sound of crying. It's faint, more of a whine than an actual cry, but it's enough to snap Lance into awareness. He opens his eyes and turns to his side to see Vhix lying on the bed next to him.

He frowns. He'd already told Sendak that keeping a baby on the bed was dangerous, but he'll admit that it was convenient. Lance's entire body feels like one big sore, but he manages to prop himself up against the pillows and gently lift Vhix into his arms. Vhix stops crying for a moment, as if stunned by the movement, before he resumes his whining.

Lance looks across the bed at Sendak, biting his lip anxiously. This isn't his first time handling a newborn, but it's never been _his_ newborn. Or a mostly alien newborn, either. He has no idea what Vhix needs.

He's already failing as a parent, and it hasn't even been a day.

Sendak stirs at the crying and eventually sits up in bed with a grunt. He shifts and pulls Lance, with Vhix in his arms, between his legs.

"You are thinking far too much,” he says, coaxing Lance to lay against his back.

Lance bristles at the remark, but the relief he feels at Sendak's presence easily overcomes his irritation. He leans back against Sendak's chest and shakes his head.

"I don't know why he's crying," Lance whispers. "Is he hungry? Uncomfortable? Does he just need attention?" Lance turns his head to look up at Sendak.

"I've got zero experience with Galra babies."

"But certainly," Sendak counters, "you have experience with the children of your species. What would you do?"

Lance purses his lips as he contemplates his options. In a way, he feels like he's being tested. That Sendak was evaluating his abilities as a parent.

Lance isn't sure what Sendak would do if he failed the test, but he really doesn't want to find out.

"...I guess I'd try feeding him, first," Lance says. "Do we, uh, have bottles or anything? Does he drink milk? Do you even have milk here?"

Sendak nods slowly.

"There is no need for bottles, sweet one. When the Druids did their work, they completed you. You are an omega, Lance, meant to mother in every aspect."

Lance blinks.

"I'm a...what?" Lance asks, unfamiliar with the term. "What the hell is an omega? And what does that mean?"

Something tells him he isn't going to like Sendak's answer. He can just feel it.

Sendak clears his throat.

“My species, and several in the universe, fall into unique quadrants,” he begins. "Three: Alpha, Beta, and Omega. Your species, for some reason, failed to develop this. It is a fallacy in your DNA,” he explains, his hand brushing the tender flesh of Lance's neck. Lance shivers.

"And while I could not repair this error in your species, I did with you,” Sendak continues. “This is your purpose."

Lance’s mind is flooded with new information that only confuses him further. He isn't sure what he's feeling innately opposed to, but it all just sounds wrong.

He doesn't get the chance to inquire further, however. Vhix's crying increases in volume and Lance looks down at him in panic.

"How am I supposed to feed him?" Lance demands, voice rising an octave. "Stop being so enigmatic and answer the damn question!"

Sendak huffs and reaches down to unbutton Lance's tunic.

“Just as you were meant to,” he answers coolly.

Understanding finally dawns on Lance as Sendak presses Vhix to his chest. He flushes with humiliation. Lance supposes that after getting pregnant and giving birth, lactating shouldn't come as such a surprise.

But fuck, it didn't make it any less emasculating.

Then again, Lance wonders with a pained gasp as Vhix latches onto a nipple and starts to suck, was this really the most emasculating thing he's experienced so far?

"...you've turned me into a woman," Lance mutters and shifts his arms to support Vhix's head better. "That's what omega or whatever means, doesn't it."

"Omega means ‘I have given you life’. It means you were made to please me, and," he tilts Lance's head back to meet his eyes, "I to please you. I care not for what your language would describe it as. Your biology failed you,” Sendak states, "I have fixed it."

He shifts and looks at Lance's expression.

"Are you not happier than you were before? I give you pleasure now, children now, a home."

Lance worries his lip as he thinks. It was rather difficult concentrating on Sendak's argument when Vhix was doing his best to suck him dry. It was disconcerting and weird and Lance is really too tired to have this conversation.

Besides. Objectively speaking, he is happier than he was before the operation. It was just...a lot to get used to.

"...whatever," Lance sighs. "I guess it just would've been nice to be, I dunno, asked."

Sendak rests his hands on Lance's legs.

“You think too much of the past,” he states almost coldly, just as Vhix sates his hunger with a happy burble.

"Don't forget, you are mine,” Sendak continues, a hand resting on Lance's stomach possessively.

Lance still can't put his finger on what exactly is bothering him, Sendak wasn't saying anything new that he hadn't heard before. He absently runs his fingers over Vhix's arm before lowering his hand to cover the palm on his stomach.

"And you are mine," Lance adds, almost challengingly. If they were to be married, well, then things had to start being a little more equal.

Sendak looks down at Lance’s hand.

"Yes, of course," he says and takes Vhix from his arms and back into his bundle on the bed.

Lance beams, placated by Sendak's agreement. There, they were finally on equal footing, after all. It takes whatever little guilt and shame he feels out of the moment and Lance doesn't think twice about curling up against Sendak's chest once he's set Vhix back down on the bed.

"It hurts," Lance mumbles and reaches down to curiously brush a finger over his nipple. He flinches at the soreness and the trickling sensation. How odd.

"Everything hurts," Lance adds and sighs, resting his cheek against Sendak's fur.

"It will pass, all of this will,” Sendak promises, tugging a blanket up and resting it on Lance's shoulders. "These are things you must grow accustomed to."

"Mm, must I?" Lance drawls with a lazy, tired grin. He shifts and makes himself comfortable, sandwiched between the soft blanket and Sendak's warmth. Despite only having recently woken up, Lance feels like there's a deep-seated fatigue in his bones.

"Any other life-altering changes I should be aware of? I really should start a list, it's getting difficult to keep track of them all."

Sendak releases a deep laugh.

“Not that I am aware of, sweet one," he pauses, "just that soon- it is tradition, once a Galra bears young, that the two mate,” he says. “That is... I mark you," he leans over and taps on Lance’s neck. Lance whimpers. Ever since his surgery, it has become even more sensitive than before.

"It will make you mine forever, and," Sendak smiles, "you may do the same for me. Now that we have Vhix, I intend to mark you."

Lance tries to focus on Sendak's words. A mark on his neck that would make him forever Sendak's? And to make Sendak his?

"...so, basically, you want to marry me," Lance rephrases. A successful marriage was meant to last forever, after all. He clucks his tongue. "I don't see why we'd need to mutilate each other. That's what rings are for. I want mine to be white gold."

Sendak frowns.

"Perhaps it is akin, but this is Galra tradition, it is meant to protect you. Protect our young,” he explains. He looks down at Lance.

"You truly want this ceremony?"

Lance raises a brow.

"Of course I do. We have a child now, it's important for Vhix to grow up knowing he has a stable family to support him," Lance points out. He is curious about this marking thing, though.

"How is marking each other supposed to protect me and Vhix?"

Sendak looks considerately at Lance.

“It means incidents like the ones of the past will not occur again. You recall when your Black Paladin attacked you?"

Lance stills and a tremor passes through him. Oh, he remembers, alright. How could he ever forget the wild look on Shiro's face when he pinned him to the floor?

"Yes," Lance says in a small voice. He clears his throat. "How is a mark supposed to stop him from doing that?"

Sendak lifts Lance's wrist and brings it to his face, bringing in slowly, before turning it towards Lance.

“It will stop this scent,” he explains, "from emitting from your body. It will be replaced with a new one." He tilts Lance's head up. "A sign of protection that none but me may touch you."

Lance weighs Sendak's words. It all sounded rather primal, and if he'd been told back on Earth that scents were powerful enough to offer protection, he would've laughed.

But the memory of being surrounded and made dizzy by the amount of different scents just before Shiro attacked him gives Lance pause.

Maybe being marked would be a good thing.

He worried his lip for a moment before making up his mind.

"Okay, fine, we can do the marking thing," Lance agrees, "but! Not before we get married!"

Something tells Lance that if Sendak marks him before he puts a ring on his finger, Sendak will never bother with buying him one in the first place. And Lance really wants a ring.

Sendak grumbles and wraps his arms around Lance, nuzzling his face a little.

“Fine."

Lance preens as Sendak agrees, nuzzling his face before leaning back against the pillows. He isn’t sure what their ceremony will look like, who will be there, what would he even wear. But the promise that there will be a ceremony is enough to satisfy Lance for the meantime.

His eyes feel heavy with sleep, but Lance peers over Sendak’s arm to check on Vhix. His son was sound asleep, curled in his designated place on the bed. Lance makes a mental note to demand that Sendak buy a proper crib when they wake up.

When Lance finally allows himself to close his eyes and sink back into Sendak’s fur, he does so with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Shorter chapter this week, but we're excited to announce that we will be publishing a special 'omake' chapter during the week, so keep an eye out for it! ;) And as always, thank you so much for your comments, we really look forward to them <3


	21. Chapter 21

Sendak leans down and tucks a curl behind Lance's ear.

“You look lovely, sweet one," he says, meeting Lance’s eyes in the mirror. "Are you ready to entertain our guests?"

Lance rubs his oiled wrists together, more out of nerves than to actually imbed the scent in his skin. He looks into the mirror and offers Sendak a hesitant smile.

"Thanks," he says distractedly. He isn't going to argue with Sendak over his appearance, not right now. Sendak might like it, but Lance still isn't satisfied with the changes to his body that both pregnancy and birth brought about.

His stomach hasn't returned to its previous state quite yet, and his chest was unnaturally distended after three weeks of Vhix nursing furiously. And that was without the extra padding he wore to stop the milk from staining his tunics.

Yet, while Lance wasn't completely happy with his appearance, there was something else weighing on his mind.

"I-not really," Lance admits. He bites his lip.

"Do I have to go? Can't you just take Vhix with you?"

The last time Lance was surrounded by other Galra, he ended up being attacked and humiliated. He really doesn't want to risk another debacle.

Sendak shifts his hand to Lance's chin, continuing to look at him in the mirror.

"It is customary," he replies. "However, I know that these past few qunitents have been tiring," he says sympathetically. "Attend the event for a few vargas, then you may return to our quarters,” he compromises.

A few hours? Just how long was this party supposed to last? Lance looks at the mirror dubiously, but the firm grip on his chin tells him that Sendak won't allow him to abstain completely. He sighs, shoulders drooping in defeat.

"Are there any special rules I should be aware of?" Lance asks stiffly. "Y'know, so you won't have to hurt or humiliate me. Again."

Sendak huffs softly.

"Fair enough," he states with an amused look. "You needn't worry about what happened before. While I have not claimed you in the official sense, all there will know you are mine."

He meets Lance's gaze.

“No one will touch you, or our child. If you would like, you may remain seated for the entire event."

Lance holds Sendak's gaze for a moment longer before stepping back and away from the mirror. He trusts Sendak's word. And that will just have to be enough.

He walks over to the newly purchased crib he'd finally convinced Sendak to buy and carefully lifts Vhix up into his arms. Lance balances him on his hip and adjusts Vhix's little hat with a fond smile. It was difficult to get it to stay on with Vhix's ears.

Vhix squirms in Lance's arms before settling comfortably, and when Lance looks up, he can see Sendak smiling at them before extending a hand.

"Come, let us go,” he says, guiding Lance through the halls to where the party was soon going to take place. He leads Lance to a pair of chairs at the end of a table.

"You may stay here if you would like."

Lance nods and takes a seat, moving Vhix to his lap as he sits down. The hall is empty, but soon enough Galra generals and soldiers begin to file in, dressed in their uniforms and carrying gifts. Lance braces himself and plasters a smile on his face.

He wishes he could hide, remain unnoticed, but he was holding the focus of the party's attention. It was only a matter of time before he is approached and asked to present Vhix.

Lance isn't even sure how that kind of interaction will look like. He might be Vhix's parent, but he is still a defeated Paladin of Voltron, captive of the Galran Empire.

Will they compliment him? Ask after his health? If someone demands he hand Vhix over to them, is he even allowed to protest?

Lance is relieved when Sendak walks over to him and stays by his side before anyone else approaches him. He doesn't mind one bit when a General comes close and completely ignores him and Vhix in favor of conversing with Sendak.

"Commander Sendak," he says after a polite exchange of greetings, "that was excellent work finding that traitor Prorok. Did Emperor Zarkon ever inform you what became of him?"

Lance has been tuning out the conversation when he suddenly hears a familiar name. Prorok. That was the general who tried to have them killed, wasn't it? Lance raises a brow as he hears for the first time that Sendak had tracked him down.

He too waits for Sendak's reply, hiding his interest in the conversation by bouncing Vhix on his knee.

Sendak is quiet before clearing his throat.

“I was simply informed that Prorok is serving the empire through the witch's work,” Sendak hums. "And you, you work with the Red Paladin's trainer? I have not attended an arena showing in a while, how has he been fairing?"

Lance's head buzzes with new information. The witch's work? That means that Prorok is either more or less dead or in a lot of pain, doesn't it?

Lance doesn't mind the mental image. Whoever this Prorok is, he deserves it.

But then Keith is mentioned and Lance inhales sharply.

"It's funny you ask that," the general states. “I haven’t seen the Warrior in the Arena for a while now. I figured he had just expired,” the General says with a shrug.

Lance's blood goes cold. Keith, expired?

Vhix must've noticed his distress, because he starts to fuss in Lance's arms. Lance snaps out of his shocked stupor and pulls Vhix close, cradling him against his chest and making soothing sounds. But the pain and sorrow don't go away.

Sure, Lance hadn't known Keith very well, but he'd sacrificed quite a bit to make sure that Keith and Shiro would be safe from each other. It never even occurred to Lance that they would need protection from others.

Lance's mouth tastes sour as he swallows down the bile that had made its way up his throat at the thought.

Sendak tuts.

"What a shame,” he says. “My human was rather fond of him,” he adds with the shake of his head.

The general excuses himself and Sendak turns to look at Lance.

"Lance, sweet one," he reaches out and cups his chin, "do you need to lay down?"

Lance manages a weak nod.

"Yeah...I'm not feeling well," he says, voice thick with tears.

Sendak nods and gets Lance to his feet.

“Go on and take Vhix back to our rooms. You may lay down. If you are feeling up to it, return, and if not- I will see you in a few vargas."

"Okay," Lance says and stands up. He makes his way through the hall, trying his best not to drop Vhix despite his trembling. He can feel the stares and hear the whispering, but he ignores it all and doesn't stop moving until he's finally back in the safety of their rooms. He carefully sets Vhix back down in his crib before falling back on the bed, hands covering his eyes.

Sendak didn't humiliate or hurt him this time, but Lance still ended up in tears, either way.

Lance spends the next hour or so in bed, staring up at the ceiling while listening to Vhix’s gurgling and Azul’s pattering around the room with her new squeaky toy. He can’t sleep. All he can think about is Keith.

When Sendak finally returns, he urges Lance up to his feet and lifts Vhix out of his cradle, cradling him in one of his large arms.

"Just follow me, sweet one.”

Lance looks at Sendak doubtfully. He really doesn't want to get out of bed. He doesn't deserve to be cheered up. He doesn't deserve any of this- Sendak, Vhix, Azul. How can he enjoy life when one of his teammates, one of his friends, couldn't ever have any of it?

Keith had been exactly like him. They were both paladins, both of them were captured at the same time. Lance wasn't any better than Keith. Was weaker, even. How is it, then, that he'd been rewarded for his weakness, while Keith was punished for his strength? His talent?

And now he was gone.

And Lance wouldn't have even known about it if not for that general's passing remark. Lance would've been perfectly happy living his blissful, domestic life without wondering for one minute how his friends were doing. If they're even alive.

But he can see that Sendak is trying his best, and Lance doesn't have the heart to keep rejecting his attempts. To keep distancing himself from his son. So he takes Sendak's free hand and allows him to guide him out of their chambers and through the ship’s hall. They come to a stop in front of a door Lance hadn’t seen before.

"As promised. Your pool,” Sendak announces as the doors slide open and they step inside.

Lance's eyes widen as he sees the glimmer of water. He stands still and covers his mouth in shock.

Sure, Sendak had promised him a pool ages ago, but it'd been so long since it'd been mentioned, he thought...well.

Apparently he'd been wrong.

"My pool?" Lance says in a small voice, eyes glued to the water. "This is mine?"

Sendak nods and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small bracelet and carefully sliding it around Lance's wrist.

"You and I are the only ones with access to it,” he states, tapping the bracelet. "I wanted to surprise you,” he explains with a nervous smile.

Lance, for the first time in days, feels his lips curve in a true smile.

"Well, consider me surprised," he says and leans up to press a kiss to Sendak's cheek. He then turns to take Vhix from his arm, who was looking down at the water as well.

"Look, sweetheart," Lance coos and steps closer to the water. He lowers himself to his knees and twirls his hand in the water, making it swirl. His smile widens as Vhix makes an excited gurgle.

"Yes, isn't it awesome? Your daddy made it for us."

A moment later there’s a tap on his shoulder.

"I can return in a varga if you would like,” Sendak says, squeezing his shoulder.

Lance blinks and stands up, turning around to face Sendak with a confused frown.

"You don’t want to swim?"

Sendak shrugs.

“No, it's not that,” he says. “I wanted to give you time to yourself."

"Oh," Lance says and looks at Sendak silently for a long moment before shaking his head. He steps forward and takes Sendak's hand.

"No, I want you to stay," he says firmly and bounces Vhix on his hip. "I think I've had enough time by myself lately."

Sendak looks at Lance’s hand and squeezes it.

“If you insist,” he says with a smile and approaches the pool. "It is to your liking?" He asks as he sits at the water's edge.

Lance beams.

"Yes, I love it," he confirms and sits down on one of the chairs next to the pool. "I can't wait to try it out!"

Sendak nods.

"At the party, did hearing about the Red Paladin upset you?" He asks after a moment.

The smile falls off Lance's lips and he turns to look at the water. He pulls Vhix a little closer.

"Of course it did," he states. "Keith didn't deserve to die. He-"

Lance's voice cracks and he sniffs.

"It's my fault."

Sendak shifts and sits beside him.

"What makes you think that, Lance?" He asks, resting his arm around Lance's shoulder.

Lance leans into Sendak's comforting warmth.

"I should've checked in on him, on everyone, see how they're doing," Lance bites his lip. "But I was so focused on myself I never even thought about what might be happening to the others. I'm so selfish."

Lance looks up at Sendak with watery eyes.

"He must've been so scared, in so much pain," Lance's voice trembles. "So far away from home, with no one to help him. He must've been so lonely."

Sendak exhales and brushes a stray tear from Lance’s cheek.

“You take on the burden of your friends. It only gives you pain..." He shifts and rubs a hand over Lance's back. "You aren't selfish, sweet one. I did not allow you time to seek out the others. I did not want you to. I think it is time you move on from that life. It will only bring you sadness."

Lance allows a few more tears to fall as he looks down at his knees in silence, rubbing Vhix's back in time with Sendak's hand on his own. He wonders if Sendak is right. If he really should move on from the others. From Voltron.

A few months ago, Lance wouldn't have even entertained the thought. But now that he has a son to care for, Lance has to take Vhix into consideration.

The fewer ties Vhix has to Voltron, the more accepted he will be among his peers when he grows up. While Lance can't erase his own past as a paladin, he can control who he will be in the future. Who he will let into his life.

But how can he abandon his team?

"...I'll think about it," Lance says eventually, breaking the silence.

Sendak nods.

“It is for the best," he reminds him before scooping him up into his lap and kissing his brow. "You should try this pool, I made it for you, after all,” he says with warmth in his voice.

Lance's lips curve in a wistful smile.

"Even if I had a bathing suit, I dunno if my chest is ready for swimming yet. It stings when I'm just sitting in the tub."

Sendak looks down and nods.

“Alright, well, it is here when you need it."

He brushes Lance's hair from his face.

"Perhaps you can teach Vhix to swim."

Lance raises a brow. Now there was an idea.

"I've actually heard of baby swimming lessons," he says thoughtfully. "Can you get him some floats?"

Sendak tilts his head.

"And what would that serve to do?" He asks.

"Uh, keep him from drowning?" Lance deadpans. "Unless you want to tell me that Galra can magically breathe underwater?"

Sendak shakes his head with a mirthful smile.

"No, no, but how is he to learn if he is handicapped by these... floats?" He questions.

Lance rolls his eyes. Geez, it was a good thing he was there. Sendak would be clueless without him.

"They start with floats, and then when they get better they can take them off and learn how to dive," Lance explains and rolls his shoulders back. "The first thing Vhix needs is to get used to the water."

Sendak looks at him oddly.

“If you say so,” he huffs, then smiles wanly. "Regardless, I am certain you will teach him all he needs to know,” he states as he kisses Lance’s cheek.

Lance beams. Sendak trusts his judgement.

Vhix starts to fidget on his lap and Lance gives his son a wry smile. It looks like someone’s hungry.

With the robe Lance had grabbed before leaving their chambers, it was easy enough to pull the fabric aside and to cradle Vhix to his chest, who was quick to latch on. Lance sighs and leans back into Sendak's warmth.

Sendak is silent for a minute before clearing his throat.

"Lance, undoubtedly I will have to fulfill the requests Emperor Zarkon asks of me, request that would not be safe for you or our child,” he says. “Moving forward, you may need to remain docked at this ship while I go out in another."

He pauses.

“You understand why this must be so."

The first thing that pops into Lance's mind is that Sendak had lied to him about not having other ships to switch to when he'd still been terrified of returning to their chambers. But Lance pushes away that disgruntled thought. He has other, more relevant reasons to be unhappy with this development.

"But what if something happens?" Lance purses his lips and looks up at Sendak reproachfully. "You have a child now. Can't you retire or do something less dangerous?"

Sendak sighs and shakes his head.

“That is not how things work, sweet one." He brushes a hand through Lance's hair. "I will be careful. There are very few who pose a threat to the Galra. You needn't worry."

Lance huffs.

"If that's true, then why can't we stay together?"

"Space travel isn't good for youngling,” Sendak says quickly. "And you need to become accustomed to remaining on this base. You have new freedoms that you did not have before.”

Lance is tempted to inquire about said freedoms, but awful scenarios still plague his mind.

"But say something happens to you," Lance runs his fingers through Vhix's soft fur. "What happens to me? To our son?"

Sendak is quiet, thoughtful. He is about to speak, then shakes his head.

"What would you like to have happen, if that is ever the case?"

Lance blinks. He didn't expect Sendak to ask for his opinion. In all honesty, he thought Sendak, ever the strategist, had dozens of plans set in place for every possible occurrence.

As for Lance...well. He doesn't even know what his options are.

"I don't know," Lance admits, worrying his lip. "I don't...I don't have anywhere to go."

Sendak nods.

"That's okay,” he soothes and smiles, cupping Lance's cheek. "I have contingencies in place, but I doubt they will be needed." He pats Lance’s cheek.

"I don't plan on leaving you."

Lance debates pursuing the topic, demanding to know what exactly Sendak has in store for him and Vhix. But a part of him doesn't want to know. Doesn't want to imagine life in space without Sendak there to protect him. He wants to believe that Sendak will always be there with him.

So Lance gives another sigh and inhales Sendak's soothing scent.

"How long will you be gone?" He mumbles.

Sendak hums.

"It is difficult to say. I don't think more than a few quintents. There has not been a lot of activity needing more attendance,” he smiles and kisses Lance’s brow.

"But I am not leaving yet."

Lance nods, satisfied with Sendak's answer.

It was the best he could hope for, he supposes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! We hope that you enjoyed this week's chapter!
> 
> As we mentioned last week, we published a few days ago a [bonus chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22547398) in which you can get a glimpse of Sendak's POV. If you haven't read it yet, we highly recommend you go do so now before next week's chapter ;) 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! If you haven't read our Sendak POV oneshot yet, [conquérir](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22547398), we highly recommend you do so before proceeding to this chapter. Either way, we hope you enjoy!

Lance had gone to bed early. If he was to get a decent good night's sleep, it was best for him to get an early start before Vhix woke up, crying to be fed or held. Sendak wasn't there for Lance to bat his lashes at and ask to tend to Vhix instead.

Besides, the ship was boring without Sendak. At least after the first two days of exploring and swimming. There was nothing new or exciting about the third day and Lance has been sorely missing Sendak's comforting presence. He wants him back. The bed was far too big and empty without him.

Lance manages to fall asleep, exhausted from his day with Vhix, but at the sound of the doors sliding open, he stirs. Lance opens his eyes and turns onto his back.

"Sendak?" He says into the silent room, voice thick with sleep.

Lance's eyes close when he doesn't hear any footsteps or feel Sendak's weight dipping the bed. He must've imagined it. But before he falls back asleep, he hears someone say his name. A familiar voice.

“Lance…?”

And it wasn't Sendak.

Lance's eyes flash open and he gasps, scrambling up and clutching the blankets as he sees Keith. His face pales and his body starts to shake.

Either his mind was playing tricks on him, or he was in the presence of a ghost.

"I'm sorry," Lance whispers, eyes darting to Vhix's crib on the other side of the bed. He relaxes a little when he sees his baby's little chest rise and fall. Once he's assured of Vhix's safety, Lance looks back at Keith with a trembling lip.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you," Lance digs his nails into the blanket. His abuela told him about vengeful spirits, but he never thought he'd see one. Especially not in space. But considering how Keith died, Lance can't say he's surprised.

"Please don't hurt me or my son."

Keith frowns.

"I'm getting you out of here, Lance,” he says, reaching out to Lance. "We're getting you out."

A full-body shudder courses through Lance as Keith grabs his hand. He doesn't understand it. Keith's touch was warm and strong and firm. Keith couldn't be a ghost, even less so a figment of his imagination.

That could only mean that he was alive.

How could that be? The Galran general said that Keith had perished in the arena.

Lance had mourned for him.

He looks up at Keith in confusion as he's yanked out of bed. When had Keith grown so tall? Lance's eyes dart around the room.

"'We'? Who's 'we'?" Lance asks, voice still shaky. "Go where?"

Keith looks around the room and releases Lance’s hand to dart towards the closet. He opens it and grabs one of Sendak’s coats. He quickly returns to Lance’s side and drapes it over his shaking shoulders.

"What do you think, Lance," he says, reaching for his hand and tugging him towards the door. "Home. Or... I don't know, not here."

He looks back at Lance over his shoulder.

"Our friends are there," he says coaxingly.

"Home?" Lance echoes, unsure. He tugs at the too-large coat, trying to warm himself up in the absence of his cozy blankets. He feels lost.

"I don't- this is my home," Lance says, the words coming naturally on his tongue.

"It's a prison. Don't tell yourself otherwise, Lance,” Keith snaps and tightens his grip on Lance.

Lance's eyes widen in alarm as Keith grabs his arm and pulls him further towards the doors. He cries out and struggles, trying to free himself from Keith's bruising grip, but it was as if Keith had gotten stronger during his time in the arena. Or maybe Lance has gotten weaker. Perhaps both.

But for some reason, he can't get away. Even the scent coming off of Keith was intimidating. Lance is almost tempted to go with him, if only to make it disappear.

Almost.

"No, stop!" Lance yells and twists, trying to run back towards the bed. "Let me go!"

Keith’s hands immediately release Lance’s arm, as if burned. But Lance doesn’t have the time to feel relief- Keith’s hands are back on him in an instant.

Only this time, around his neck.

Panic makes it difficult for Lance to breath, chokes him alongside Keith's fingers against his windpipe. He gasps for air, struggling against Keith's hold as tears run down his cheeks.

He looks at Vhix's cradle, so far away and unreachable, and practically breaks down as he hears Vhix's cries. They must've woken him up.

Lance can't even form the words to call out for his son before his vision swims and everything goes dark.

.x.

When Lance comes to and opens his eyes, he recognizes his surroundings, though he doesn't understand how or why he is back in the small room he'd occupied on Lotor's ship.

Confusion gives way for panic as the night's events come back to him and he bolts upright, looking around the room frantically for Vhix's cradle.

Vhix isn't anywhere to be seen.

Lance scrambles off the bed and rushes towards the door, yelling his frustration when it doesn't slide open. He bangs on it instead.

"Let me out!" He screams, ignoring the way his fists bruise. The physical pain was nothing in comparison to the pain he feels at the thought of Vhix left all alone, crying for him.

He needs to return to his son. Now!

Lance thinks he's shouted himself hoarse as he beats at the door, unwillingly recalling that awful night he was locked in his chambers with the bodies of his would-be assassins. But the door eventually slides open and the unpleasant alien he remembers scowls down at him, telling him to shut up before grabbing his arm and yanking him out of the room.

Lance doesn't know where he's being taken, but he's glad to at least be out of his room. He holds his breath as he hears two familiar voices just around the corner. When Zethrid tugs him into the open space, he sees Lotor and Keith, obviously in a heated argument.

Lance was eager to join.

Finding himself suddenly free from Zethrid's hold, Lance marches up to Keith and grabs him by the collar.

"Where the fuck is my son," he growls, narrowing his eyes.

Keith takes a step back, surprise evident in his expression.

"Where I left him. On the ship,” he answers, reaching out to effortlessly extract Lance’s hands from his collar. He glances at Lotor.

Lance grits his teeth. How could Keith be so cruel? Had he always been this way?

"You're telling me you left a defenceless newborn all by himself?" Lance yells, giving Keith a push.

"How could you! What are you, a psychopath?"

"Maybe,” Keith admits wearily, "yeah, maybe I am..."

He looks at Lance.

"But I still would save you."

Lance shakes his head and crosses his arms, hugging himself for comfort. The tears in his eyes blur his vision.

"Save me from what?" Lance snaps. "My baby? My mate?"

Keith’s eyes narrow.

“Your mate?" He hisses. "Lance, he is not your mate, he's your captor, he... He mutilated you. Fucking changed you."

He reaches out and takes Lance's hands.

Lance yanks his hands out of Keith's hold and takes a step back.

"So what?" He snaps. "He did it so we could be together. People on Earth change their bodies all the time for the people they love."

Keith growls and in an instant his eyes pool yellow before he closes them.

When he opens them, they’re back to their usual color. Maybe Lance just imagined it.

"Yeah, but did he ever even ask you?" Keith demands and looks away. “They fucked up Shiro too, and they never asked him. Did he ever give you a choice, Lance?"

He looks back up.

"That's not love. That's fucked up. That's all it will ever be."

Lance hesitates. Shiro was operated on, too? Why?

Keith's words do hit a nerve, as Lance's lack of choice in his relationship with Sendak always will. The aggression in the room wasn't helping Lance think, either. He takes quick, successive breaths as he glares back at Keith.

"Why did you kidnap me? What do you," he turns to look at Lotor as well, "both of you, want from me this time?"

Keith joins Lance in looking at Lotor, who had so far remained silent during their exchange.

"Well, I had wanted you and your babe," Lotor says, jumping into the conversation with practiced ease. "My mission has not changed. The universe still needs Voltron- now, perhaps, more than ever before. And Voltron," Lotor raises a brow and looks at Lance, “needs you.”

Keith crosses his arms.

"Yeah... What he said."

Lance presses his lips into a thin, trembling line. He needs time to think. But he doesn't have time. Vhix needs him. And he needs Sendak.

He's given up on his dream of reuniting Voltron long ago. Of fighting alongside his friends and saving the universe. He's changed. Too much. He has a family, now. A family that needs him.

"In that case, I demand you take me back," Lance states. "I don't want to fight with Voltron. I belong with Sendak."

Keith mutters under his breath, "more like ‘belongs to’."

He uncrosses and recrosses his arms in obvious discomfort.

Lotor looks at Lance with sympathy.

“I know things have dramatically changed for you, more so than to many of your teammates, but I simply can't allow you to return."

Keith visibly relaxes at Lotor’s refusal.

"I know this isn't what you want right now, but, there are many who require your assistance," Lotor reasons with his most sanguine of smiles.

With his explicit request to return to Sendak's ship denied, something snaps in Lance. A dam, the fragile wall he'd built to contain his panic, has been completely demolished and Lance can't breathe.

He falls to his knees, shaking, as he tries in vain to catch his breath.

"My son," Lance manages in between wheezes, "my baby needs me!"

Lotor turns to Keith and scowls.

“This is why you needed to retrieve the infant,” he hisses. “Your friend is useless to us now." He shoves his finger in Keith's chest.

"When we return to my Father's quandrant, you are to retrieve the baby,” he commands.

"Fuck you,” Keith says, voice low and threatening. "We don't owe you anything, you and your species are the reason for all our pain. I don't have to do shit for you."

Lotor is silent for a moment.

"Then do it for him,” he says, motioning to Lance.

Keith goes quiet.

The tears don't stop. Won't stop. Lance can hear words being said around him, more arguing, and it only serves to stress his body further. Angry scents. Aggressive scents. He just wants his baby. He wants Sendak.

Where is Sendak? Why is he gone?

There's a loud, clanging sound that makes everything else go silent. Lance snaps his eyes shut and presses his hands to his ears, covering them and cowering, hoping the source of the loud sound won't harm him, but then there are strong hands gently yet firmly pulling his hands away and crowding into his space.

"Lance... Hey, hey, it's me, can you take a big slow breath for me?"

Lance opens his eyes, heart pounding in his chest, when recognition sets in.

"Hunk?" Lance whispers, furiously blinking the tears away.

"Hi buddy..." Hunk whispers and scoots as close as he dares. He brushes a stray tear away.

“Yeah, that's it, take another slow breath for me,” he smiles warmly and cups Lance's cheeks.

"Lance... This might not be the best time to tell you this, but I just have to- I'm so sorry for what I said," he says, smile fading as he blinks away tears. “I know I hurt you but I-" he swallows thickly, "I'm in a better place now."

He pulls Lance into a hug.

Lance accepts the hug, clings to it, refuses to let Hunk go until his breathing returns to normal. He takes another, deep breath before slowly pulling away and offering Hunk a cautious smile.

"But you were right," Lance insists. He doesn't know why Hunk was so upset. "Once I gave in, everything got better."

Hunk shakes his head.

“Let's... Would you like to lie down, Lance?" He asks gently, squeezing Lance's hands. He waits for Lance's nod, then helps him to his feet.

"Whatever..." he says slowly to Keith and Lotor, his voice wavering a bit. “Whatever it is you said to him, just... give Lance time."

He entwines their fingers and guides Lance out of the room, ignoring the fallen tray of sweets on the floor.

Lance likes being with Hunk. Hunk doesn't have a scent, not a strong one anyway, and it calms him. Makes it easier for him to think. His touch is warm and gentle and Lance finds himself leaning into it as Hunk guides him out of the room and into the hall.

Hunk clears his throat.

"Lance... I know things got better when you stopped fighting, but," Hunk flushes, "that doesn't make what happened okay."

"Maybe," Lance concedes. He's not sure he believes that, but he doesn't want to fight with Hunk. Not when he's his best chance to get Vhix back.

"But it...Sendak gave me a son," Lance's lips quiver but he takes a deep, steeling breath.

"I need my son back, Hunk. Can you help me? He must be so scared without me," Lance bites his lip and sniffs.

Hunk blinks.

"I... I mean, I'm sure we'll try,” he soothes. “I know, uh, Lotor, he didn't want you to be separated from him,” he informs. He motions to a couch and motions for Lance to lie down.

"But whatever happens, you have us,” Hunk says and smiles warmly. "I promise we're gonna be here for you."

He squeezes his hands.

"Pidge is... She'll come out soon."

Lance shakes his head.

"I want to go back to Sendak," Lance says, returning Hunk's squeeze. He feels like a broken record, repeating the same words over and over again, but no one seems to understand him.

"I get that you and Keith and...and Pidge want to reunite Voltron. But I don't want to. Why can't I go back?"

Hunk bits his lower lip.

"I... Buddy, I know you want to, but I don't think that would be okay... I mean, I don't think going back is gonna help you,” he says gently.

"I'm sure we, uh, we can get your baby but... I don't think you going back to Sendak would be a good idea."

His thumbs rub Lance’s palm gently.

Lance purses his lips and pulls his hand out of Hunk's grasp.

"Why not? We're happy together."

Hunk's shoulders fall and he exhales.

“Lance... Please try to remember that," he swallows, "he also hurt you. They all did."

"Yeah, well, he's not like that anymore, Hunk," Lance says earnestly. "He's devoted to me now. He'd never hurt me."

Hunk stays quiet for a moment and nods.

“Okay. But, that doesn't make what he did okay, Lance."

He bites his lip again.

"I... I don't know if there anything I can say that will change your mind, but, we all care about you and you didn't deserve to live the rest of your life a slave to the Galra."

Lance's shoulders droop. He feels so, so tired. He just wants to be back in his room with Sendak and Vhix. Why can’t his so called friends respect that?

"Not a slave," Lance mumbles and leans back against the couch. His chest burns, and when he looks down, he can see his sleeping tunic is damp with the milk he was supposed to be feeding Vhix with just about now.

Lance doesn't bother trying to bite back his sobs.

Hunk sigh and cautiously slips his arms around Lance, cradling him as he cries.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, "I know this is... I know this hurts.”

Lance grabs onto Hunk's shirt and clings, burying his face in Hunk's shoulder as he cries. He doesn't remember blacking out, but when Lance wakes up, he's in his bed, still very much on Lotor's ship.

Only this time, when he looks at his bedside table, there's a plate with a pile of cookies. Earth cookies.

Suddenly, there’s a gentle knock on his door.

"Lance, hey buddy, are you awake?"

Lance looks up from the plate, realizing he'd been staring, enamoured, before quickly grabbing one cookie and stuffing it in his mouth. He climbs out of bed and walks over to the door, pressing the pad to open it.

Shockingly, it opens.

"Hey," Lance says around his mouthful before swallowing it down. "Your cookies are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Hunk."

Hunk laughs, warm and earnest.

“If you think that's good, wait ‘til you see what else I made,” he says with a smile.

He reaches out and takes Lance's hand.

"We're having a meeting. We'd love for you to come, if you're okay with that."

Lance hesitates for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah, okay, a meeting. I should go to that," he says quietly before breaking away from Hunk to quickly nab one more cookie from the plate. Prize in hand, Lance returns to Hunk and takes his hand again with a small smile.

Hunk squeezes his hand and together they walk out of the room, the doors sliding behind them.

Lance nibbles on his cookie as Hunk leads him back down the familiar path to the main deck. He's a little nervous about seeing everyone, isn't sure he's ready to see them, but if Lance wants to make his case, there was no better forum than with everyone present.

Maybe he'll be able to convince at least one of them to let him go.

The doors to the desk slide open and Hunk looks down, giving Lance a brief glance.

“Tell me if it's too much, we can take it easy to start." He says kindly and walks through the doors, waving at Pidge when he sees her sitting at the table. He releases Lance’s hand.

Lance looks around the room, taking in the large, round table laden with more food Lance has seen together in a very long time. He swallows thickly as he sees his old team all seated- Pidge, Keith and Hunk as he takes a seat as well. Allura and Coran were absent, and Lotor was there, but seeing all of them in the same room brings back memories.

Lance holds his breath as he sees Shiro sitting between Lotor and Keith, looking just like he used to. There was another scar on his face, and he looked bigger, somehow, but gone was the wild beast who had jumped on him before. Replaced with a sombre demeanour and a quiet voice as he spoke to Keith.

He still had the same, heavy scent as before, though.

As if noticing his gaze, Shiro looks up and meets Lance's eyes.

They both freeze, and much to Lance's horror, Shiro's eyes go red.

Just like before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... And hello again! We'd like to apologize for the small delay, life does get in the way sometimes. But we do hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as always, we'd love to hear your thoughts! ♡


	23. Chapter 23

Time seems to slow down as Shiro leaps across the table and slams Lance onto the floor with a growl, nosing against his jaw.

At first, Lance can't move. He's petrified. If he could speak, however, he’d probably be calling out for Sendak. As it is, his fear-addled mind doesn’t understand why Sendak hasn’t already yanked Shiro off him. Where is he? Why isn’t he helping him?

As Shiro continues to inhale his scent, Lance tilts his head back and relaxes his body as much as he can, heart beating wildly in his chest. He knows that he can't fight Shiro off. Not before his and Shiro's respective surgeries, and certainly not after. The best he can hope for is for Shiro to accept his submission and lose interest. That's what Lance's body tells him, anyway.

But Shiro doesn't lose interest. Lance watches with wide eyes as Keith manages to pull Shiro off him for a split second before Shiro is back on top of him, growling and tearing at Lance's tunic. Lance gasps and forgets that he's supposed to stay still. He tries to push Shiro away, to scramble back.

It does nothing to dissuade Shiro, though. If anything, he gets rougher, rutting his hips against Lance's leg as his large hand circles Lance's throat with a snarl.

And then Shiro falls down on top of him, unconscious.

Lance looks around wildly, trying to understand what had just happened while also attempting to push Shiro off. He looks up and sees Lotor standing next to him with a grim smile, a syringe in his hand.

"It appears the Black Paladin is still susceptible to omegan scents," he notes and pushes his hair back with a sigh. "I do hope the progress we've made hasn't been completely reverted."

Keith quickly pulls Shiro off of him again with a confused, stricken expression. Hunk is immediately by his side, helping him to his feet and wrapping a blanket around his shoulders before jabbing a finger at Lotor’s chest.

“And what are you going to do about this, then?”

Lance leans against Hunk, huddled in his blanket as he tries to process what had just happened. He doesn't understand it.

Sure, Sendak had mentioned Shiro's reaction was triggered by the surgeries they'd both undergone, but Lance still can't wrap his head around the raging, violent need he supposedly provokes in Shiro. Or the way Lance's own mind goes blank and he submits to a base, primal survival instinct that wasn't very human.

It's confusing, to say the least. And Lance hates that his mere presence is enough to drive Shiro mad.

He silently watches as Lotor presses his lips into a thin line and looks between him, Shiro and Keith.

"Well, it's obvious that the Black and Blue paladins cannot be in the same room together at their current states. The easy solution would be to separate them for the duration of their stay, but that is only temporary at best," Lotor says slowly and then meets Lance's eyes.

"There is another option, but it would entail quite a bit of sacrifice and commitment while the result cannot be promised," he holds Lance's gaze a beat longer before turning to look at Keith.

"Is keeping your team together that important to you?"

Keith follows Lotor’s gaze to Lance before turning to meet Lotor’s eyes.

“Yes, absolutely,” he says without skipping a beat. “What do we have to do?”

Lance doesn't like the way Keith looks at him, with narrowed eyes and a heavy air of disappointment. He doesn't like the way Lotor looks at him, calculating and pitying. He doesn't like the way Pidge is actively trying not to look at him. He doesn't even like Hunk's well meaning, smothering gaze full of sympathy.

Lance doesn't want to be looked at, at all. Period. It's awfully strange for him, not wanting to be the centre of attention, but everything has been strange and confusing ever since Keith came back from the dead and walked into his bedroom. Lance has been disoriented ever Sendak left, if he's being honest with himself. He doesn't feel that he's at his best, to put it mildly.

And Lance doesn't want attention when he's not at his best. He wants to lick his wounds in private until he's ready for some comfort.

But everybody keeps looking at him and Lance has a horrible, gut feeling that he won't like whatever it is Lotor has to say.

"The reason why the Black Paladin cannot control himself around Lance is due to the fact that Lance is unclaimed, and the Black Paladin hasn't matured yet as an alpha- it is unclear if he ever will. His body's chemistry was altered in order to make him a formidable foe in the arena," Lotor says stiffly.

"As waiting for the Black Paladin to mature, if at all, isn't a viable option, the only element we can control and change is Lance. Once he is claimed, the Black Paladin's attraction might not disappear completely, but he will instinctively know that Lance is off the market, so to speak. Hopefully," Lotor pauses and clears his throat. "It will be enough for him to control his reaction."

Lance stiffens at the mention of claiming. Finally, something he has some knowledge about. Sendak had wanted to claim him. To bind them together forever through...a bite, if Lance understood correctly. Lance refused at the time, insisted they should get married first.

He should've just allowed Sendak to claim him then and there.

"Right... So..." Keith frowns. “Wait, what? Who's gonna do that?" He asks, shifting uncomfortably.

It was Hunk's turn to speak up, his voice shaking, barely containing his rage.

"You can't guarantee this will work- what will happen to Lance if," Hunk exhales, "if this was done to him?"

Lance can’t take it anymore.

"I don't want to be claimed!" Lance states and takes a step forward, away from Hunk. He crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at Lotor.

"Not by anyone here, at least. Just send me back to Sendak and my baby. That'll solve all your problems."

Lotor meets his gaze. Lance can tell Lotor recognizes that he knows what claiming is. What it means.

"Returning you to Sendak is out of the question," Lotor dismisses Lance's suggestion. "Doing so would put all of your friends at risk. No, our only option is to have you claimed, as assuring that you and the Black Paladin will never be in the same room again isn't a long term solution."

Lance's eyes narrow and he opens his mouth to object, but Lotor talks over him. There was a touch of excitement to his voice that unnerves Lance.

"The claiming would only be effective if done by an alpha," Lotor turns to Keith. "I cannot be of service, and neither can my generals. The only alphas on the ship is the Black Paladin and... Unexpectedly, you."

"Me?" Keith scoffs. "How am I an alpha? And why can't you-"

The words die on his lips.

Lotor raises a brow and gives Keith a light smirk.

"You've spent quite some time in the arena. Surely you've noticed a few similarities between you and your Galra opponents?" Lotor tilts his head.

"Elongated nails, flashes of yellow in your eyes, inexplicable bouts of violent aggression when cornered. Those were all on your file," Lotor elaborates. "The reason you haven't been operated on is because you do not need to be improved on with Galra DNA. You already have it inside you."

Lance can see Keith shaking with barely suppressed rage. He can smell it on him. Though Lotor hadn’t listed the strange attributes Lance had experienced around Keith, such as his different scent and its impact on his mood, Lance knows those were signs as well.

It all makes sense, now. He doesn’t know how it happened, but there’s no doubt in his mind that Keith is Galra. And an alpha, to boot.

"How is that even possible? I'm not Galra,” Keith hisses.

Lotor shakes his hand dismissively.

"Oh, you're Galra. A half-breed, at any rate. The same as my generals and myself," Lotor says primly. He then turns to look back at Lance.

"This is good news for you. Surely, would you not prefer to be claimed by a fellow human? To live together on your planet?"

Lance looks between Lotor and Keith, speechless.

"…there's no alternative?" Keith finally asks, his voice measured, slow, and a bit hesitant.

Lance focuses his attention on Keith. Alpha or not, Galra or not, he can tell just by the look on his face how lost he feels. He's never seen Keith more visibly upset. Lance hesitates for a moment before walking over to him and taking Keith's hand in his own, squeezing it.

"Hey, it's okay," he murmurs. "You're okay."

Lance doesn’t know why he wants to comfort Keith, considering all the things he’s recently done to him. But something in him just… Really wants to. It feels natural.

Lotor watches them silently before clearing his throat.

"This is the only option I can think of, given the circumstances," he says. "You can take your time to think about it, of course, but until then either Lance or the Black Paladin will have to be restricted to their own rooms."

Keith cautiously squeezes his hand.

"I... I need to talk to Lance about this, it's not my decision to make. Can I..."

Keith looks back at Lance.

"Can we talk?"

Lance thinks for a moment before nodding. Yeah, he and Keith should probably talk. Maybe this was the best way for him to convince Keith that he needed to go back to Sendak. Surely his friends don't want him around _that_ much. All he's done is whine and cry and cause trouble.

They can work something out.

"Sure," Lance says and lets go of Keith's hand.

Keith nods.

“Uh, we can go… To my room, if you want?"

Lance doesn't fail to notice the slight change of colour of Keith's skin, but he doesn't comment on it. Instead, he shrugs and turns to leave the room, leading the way out of the deck and into the hall. He waits for Keith to catch up with him and then silently follows him to his room.

"Um, so, uh," Keith motions to the bed for Lance to sit.

"Are you okay?"

Lance sits down on the bed and stretches his arms behind him. He looks up at the ceiling and sighs.

"No. I'm not okay. You kidnapped me, separated me from my family, and now Lotor wants you to claim me. I'm not having a good day."

Keith flinches.

“Right, uh," he shifts uncomfortably and awkwardly sits besides Lance.

"I... Me too, to be honest,” he says, rubbing his hands on his pants. "But, uh, yeah totally fair,” he says quickly. "Lance... You know that you can't go back there, right?"

Lance turns to look at Keith. He blinks back his stupid tears that definitely do not have any place in this conversation. Not if he wants to be taken seriously.

"I don't see why," Lance whispers in a hoarse voice. "You could just...give me a pod and I'll fly back to Sendak's ship. I-"

Lance swallows thickly.

"I want my baby."

Keith bites his lip.

"I know you do, Lance, and we're going to do everything to get him. I... I guess your kid and I have something in common."

Lance takes a deep breath to compose himself before offering Keith a watery smile.

"I guess you do," he says quietly before clearing his throat.

"Keith, do you... Do you even realize what claiming is?" Lance meets Keith's eyes.

If he can't convince Keith to return him to Sendak, then maybe he can convince Keith to not want to claim him.

Keith's shoulders hunch up at the question.

"I... Not really," he admits, meeting Lance's eyes with an anxious expression.

Lance feels kind of bad for Keith. He looks so lost. But he can't back off now- he can comfort Keith all he wants after Keith realizes that claiming him wasn't a good idea.

"Well," Lance tucks a curl behind his ear. "From what Sendak told me, it's a sort of... Mating ritual? It's meant to bind two Galra together. Romantically," Lance emphasizes.

His cheeks feel a little warm, but he presses on.

"The alpha bites the... Omega," Lance continues, hesitating at the word. He still has a difficult time associating himself with it.

"Here," Lance tilts his head and taps his neck. "And that supposedly leaves a mark that lasts forever. The pair are then somehow biologically connected and can't be with anyone else. At least, that's what I understood."

Lance catches Keith's gaze.

"You don't want to be tied down to me, Keith. I'm messed up and... Weak," Lance grits his teeth.

"I've got a child. I love someone else. And you don't even like me all that much."

Keith is quiet for a long moment, and then reaches out to take Lance's hand.

"I…” He swallows. "Lance, you aren't weak.” he says, squeezing his hand as he looks at him.

"And, and that... Whatever you had with Sendak, that can't be love." He bites his lip. "He hurt you, you never deserved to be hurt like that. I don't want you to," he looks at Lance then looks away, "have to do this, but… I can't send you back to him. I won't."

He returns his gaze to Lance, resolute and firm.

"I," he stalls, warmth filling his cheeks, "I like you far too much to do that,” he admits awkwardly.

Lance yanks his hand out of Keith's grasp, face flushed with indignation.

"So let me get this straight- you're not letting me return to Sendak because you 'like me' and think what I feel for Sendak isn't real?" Lance snaps and stands up.

"Forget it. I'm leaving."

If Keith and the rest of his so called friends weren't going to help him return to Sendak, then Lance will just have to steal a pod and fly it back to Sendak's ship himself.

Despite everything, he's still a pilot.

Keith stands quickly, takes a step and grabbing Lance's hand.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like- fuck," his hisses.

Lance's face, if possible, grows hotter.

"But that's exactly what you were saying!" He says loudly, speaking over the rush of blood in his ears. He's never had such physical reactions to anger before, but Lance doesn't think too much of it.

Probably yet another biological change from the surgery.

There was just so much heat. And the source of it was Keith's hand, clasped around his own in an iron grip.

"Lance, please, just stay, we'll get your baby and then, then you can go home, you- Sendak can't touch you anymore,” he promises, failing to mention Lance’s supposed duty to protect the universe.

Was keeping him away from Sendak so important to Keith that he was willing to give up on Voltron?

The tears Lance had so valiantly struggled to hold back well up with vengeance at the mention of Vhix. His baby. Fuck, his baby needs him and he's stuck here negotiating with the people that were supposed to have his back! His teammates!

"But I want him to touch me," Lance's lips quiver. "God, I miss him so much, Keith. I miss my mate and I miss my baby. I just want to go back to them, is that too much to ask?"

Lance takes a step closer to Keith and blinks, ignoring the burn in his eyes as his tears fall. The heat only gets worse.

Keith looks at Lance with a hurt expression, which Lance cannot hope to understand.

"I can't let you, Lance. You might-" he pauses, "care for him, but you're nothing but an object to him."

He looks at Lance and there's mirrored tears in both their eyes.

"You're just something he wanted to conquer."

Lance presses his lips into a thin, trembling line.

"Sure. At first," Lance agrees and lifts his chin. "But it's different, now. We're mates. And I should've let him claim me when we had the chance."

Keith flinches, but doesn’t let go of Lance’s hand.

“It's… Lance, Sendak doesn't love you."

Lance inhales sharply and tries to tug his hand out of Keith's grip.

"You're lying," he says, a tremor in his voice. "Why are you being so mean to me?"

Keith squeezes his eyes shut, his breath shallow.

“You're just a body to him," he whispers. “That time, when…”

He opens his eyes and meets Lance’s gaze.

"When Shiro attacked you at the fucked up performance. Sendak raped you,” he hisses, "and he...”

Keith looks away.

“He told me you'd beg for it,” he moves his hand and grabs both of Lance's.

"He's a villain, Lance. He's hurt you, and he'll hurt you again."

Lance reels at the memory. He tries not to think about it. There are many things he tries not to think about. That specific evening was mostly shards that Sendak had pieced together for him when asked.

Keith was telling a very different story. And Lance likes this one even less.

"He was protecting me from Shiro," Lance says in a small voice. His head is spinning, and the heat in his body was threatening to burn him alive. Only his hands feel safe, being held in Keith's grip.

Keith squeezes Lance's hands.

“Shiro wasn't even near you when he," Keith practically spits the words, "raped you." He tries to meet Lance's gaze.

A scent that had been tugging at the edges of Lance's awareness suddenly flares and Lance gasps. His knees buckle under his weight.

Keith scrambles and pulls Lance against him, trying to keep him upright.

"Lance? Lance - what's wrong?" He asks, panic filling his voice.

Lance leans heavily against Keith, panting and struggling for breath. His legs won't work anymore. Neither his arms. It's as if his entire body had decided to stop functioning, and the only thing he can focus on is Keith.

Keith's scent. Keith's warmth. Keith's strong arms, holding up upright, not letting him fall. Dependable arms. Safe arms. Good arms to be held with.

Keith's voice is distant, though. Out of focus. Blurry. Lance thinks he hears his name, but when he opens his mouth to speak, nothing comes out aside from an embarrassing whine.

Lance's vision goes blurry with tears as Keith sets him down on the floor. He doesn't know why, but it feels like a rejection. Why was Keith letting him go? Was he too heavy? Does he smell bad? Keith smells good. Panicked, but good.

Lance can help with his panic. But first, he needs to get Keith to stay.

With great effort, Lance reaches out and grabs Keith's leg, wrapping his arms around it and presses his face to Keith's thigh.

"Keith," Lance manages to form the word, though it's slightly muffled.

Keith pulls his leg from Lance’s grasp, much to his protest, and kneels down next to him.

“Lance, hey. Snap out of it. Talk to me. What’s... What’s happening?”

Lance's eyes zero on Keith's mouth. It looks so soft. And small. In comparison to Sendak's, that is. Lance hadn't been able to kiss him properly, at most a peck here or a messy clash of lips there.

But Keith's mouth looks like it would perfectly fit against his own.

"I-," Lance looks up briefly to meet Keith's eyes. Pretty eyes. Worried. Worried for him. How sweet.

"I don't know," Lance admits in a moment of clarity. "I-I was so upset, and now..."

Lance's gaze returns to Keith's lips.

“Now...?” Keith prompts. He reaches out and squeezes Lance’s arm.

“Lance, please talk to me,” he says gently.

"Hot," Lance mumbles in a last attempt of coherence. His arm tingles where Keith touches him and Lance can't hold himself back anymore. He has to do something.

His entire body is aching for it.

Tilting his head, Lance leans forward and presses his lips to Keith's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! We hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! If we were you, we'd take a brief look at the tags and see if anything has been added ;) 
> 
> See you all next week, and as always, we'd love to hear your thoughts!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! We'd just like to remind you of the 'dub-con' tag. That's all. Carry on! ;)

A growl vibrates against Lance’s lips before Keith pulls away from the kiss. Lance whines.

He's confused.

Keith had just growled only a moment before. He can smell Keith's arousal, thick in the air. Why wasn't he deepening their kiss, pressing him into the mattress and claiming him the way they both want to?

Lance consoles himself in the hand Keith cups against his cheek. It wasn't much, but it was something. He tilts his head and brushes his lips against the inside of Keith's palm.

"Lance, what are you…” Keith trails off and shakes his head. “What…?”

"It hurts," Lance says, voice cracking. He presses his hands to Keith's chest and meets his eyes.

"Please."

Lance follows Keith as he leans away from him, pressing forward and tilting his head for another kiss when the door suddenly opens. Lance wouldn't have noticed if not for the way Keith's grip tightens on his shoulders when a new, unobtrusive scent spreads in the room.

"How curious," a familiar voice drawls, and Lance vaguely registers it as belonging to Lotor.

"The Druids must've made a true omega of him if he's succumbed to survival heat. Fascinating."

“…What?” Keith asks, looking up at Lotor as he hovers above them. “Survival heat? What the fuck is that? And what are you doing here?” He snaps, managing to sit up.

Lotor looks down with a raised brow.

"I believe I am answering your call for help. If you wish for me to leave, however-“

“No,” Keith says quickly and grits his teeth. “Just- just tell me what’s going on.”

Lotor pauses for a moment before clearing his throat.

“Lance's body has been under quite a bit of stress," Lotor intones as Lance climbs into Keith's lap. "It senses that it has been displaced and is aware of his alpha and his child's absence. This could've been avoided had you brought the child with you as instructed," Lotor adds with a frown.

"Lance's survival instincts have kicked in, so to speak, and his body has gone into heat in order to attract a new protector. As the nearest alpha," Lotor raises a brow, "it appears he has chosen you."

Keith swallows, his eyes going wide and his grip on Lance tightening. He struggles to find the words to speak as Lance grinds down against him with a low, pleading whine.

Keith meets Lotor's eyes.

“This is wrong. Lance... Lance doesn't want me. He said so himself. I can't- I can't do this to him."

Lotor keeps Keith's gaze and takes a step closer, leaning down to rest a hand on his shoulder.

"Lance is in pain," he says bluntly. "One could argue it is your fault. Either way, you are the only person on this ship who can help him. As your team's leader, I expect you to take responsibility for your actions and to help your teammate through his vulnerability."

Keith squeezes his eyes shut, and Lance can briefly sense his despair through the fog of heat and desire.

"If I do this, I'm no better than _him_,” he hisses and gathers Lance up in his arms, climbing to his feet. He looks at Lotor and scowls.

"Please kindly fuck off,” he says through gritted teeth and nods to the door.

Lotor raises his hands in mock surrender and gives Keith one last smug smile before turning around and leaving the room.

Lance looks up blearily at Keith as he's set down on the bed. His face is flushed and his entire body burns. The fabric between his legs is soaked. He'd tear his tunic off if he could, but Lance cannot summon the energy required to even raise his arms.

So Lance closes his eyes and resigns himself to a miserable, uncomfortable existence 'till the end of time.

Keith brushes Lance's soaked hair from his face, reaching out and grabbing Lance's hand.

"Hey, hey, I'm right here,” he says gently, his hand shaking. "Are you hot?"

Lance's eyes flutter open, a herculean effort on its own account. He finds the question odd. Stupid, even. Of course he's hot. He's said as much. He's said it hurts. Why isn't Keith helping him? Why won't he touch him?

"Burning," Lance mumbles and meets Keith's gaze pleadingly.

"Please make it stop. I'll do anything, just-"

Tears streak down Lance's cheeks, but they do nothing to help cool him down.

Keith fidgets and looks around the room. He stands up, slipping from Lance's grip and grabbing a glass of water.

"Um,” he mumbles as he sits again, reaching for a cloth by the bed and wetting it with the water. Cautiously, he presses it to Lance's head.

"I... I'm trying to make it stop, Lance."

Lance turns his face away from the wet cloth, frustrated. Why was Keith being so stupid?

"No, you need to touch me," Lance says slowly, wondering if Keith just needed things to be spelled out for him. Not the brightest alpha in the room, but the only one in the room.

"Touch you..." Keith repeats, water dripping down his arm. "Lance, that's... I don't think you want that, you didn't-" he cuts himself off, visibly flustered.

"Lance... this isn't..."

Tears sting in Lance's eyes and he rapidly blinks, trying his best to make sure that at least one part of him wasn't on fire. But Keith was making his life so difficult.

"I literally begged you," Lance's lips quiver. "Don't you-"

A thought suddenly comes to Lance and it steals his breath away.

"You don't want me?" He asks in a whisper, almost afraid to hear Keith's answer.

If Keith doesn't want him, Lance is pretty sure he's going to die. From pain or embarrassment, whichever came first.

Keith inhales sharply.

"Lance," he whispers and grabs Lance's cheeks, "I want you, I've wanted you for- for far too fucking long, but... This?" His breath hitches.

"Lance, you deserve better,” he whispers.

Lance stops listening after he gets Keith's confirmation that he's going to live. Good. Keith wants him. Excellent. He can work with that.

Keith cuts off Lance's train of thought with a brush of lips against his own. Lance immediately melts and the gentle kiss is enough to give him the strength to wrap his arms around Keith's neck and pull him down flush against his body. Lance's legs spread to accommodate Keith's presence and he rolls his hips, desperate for the vaguest of friction. Lance looks at Keith’s eyes, irises dilated and wide, clarity fading between them.

Eyes glazed over, Lance can feel himself slipping into autopilot and he doesn't even care. Anything to make the burning pain go away.

Keith tries to say his name, but Lance doesn’t give him the chance, deepening their kiss. Keith moans and rocks his hips down against him before reaching out to tug Lance’s tunic over his head.

Lance groans in relief as the tunic falls to the floor, exposing him to the cool air and more importantly, Keith's hands. He hooks a leg over Keith's hip and thrusts up, tightening his grip on Keith's shoulders as he pulls him in for a thorough kiss.

Now that he has Keith, he's never going to let go.

Keith closes his eyes and runs his fingers through Lance’s hair, angling his head as their lips meet in almost practiced ease.

Lance really can't get over the kissing. Proper, human kissing. While Sendak certainly never left him unsatisfied, that was one thing they could never have, that no surgery could fix.

The memory of Sendak triggers something in Lance, a moment of clarity, and he pulls away from Keith's mouth to catch his breath.

He isn't sure why he's doing this. He wants to be with Sendak, not Keith. But... Sendak isn't here. Surely Sendak wouldn't want Lance to be in pain?

Lance doesn't get the chance to think about it. Keith moves his hips and presses against him and the moment of clarity is gone, replaced by endless need. Lance moans and grasps at the front of Keith's shirt.

"Off," he demands, dipping to press a kiss to the side of Keith's neck.

Lance hums his approval as Keith pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it over the side of the bed, revealing toned muscles and scars Lance is pretty sure Keith didn't get on Earth.

Lance doesn't dwell on it. He'd rather trace Keith's muscles with his fingers while peppering kisses all over Keith's warm shoulders. Strong shoulders. This is a man who can take care of him. Protect him and their future young. And, maybe if Lance is good enough, Keith will fetch Vhix for him.

Lance closes his eyes and allows Keith to soothe him with his gentle, and not so gentle, touches. He's confident he's going to drown in Keith's kiss and Lance doesn't think that would be such a bad way to go.

Fingers trail down Keith's stomach and stop to cup the bulge between Keith's legs. Lance is uncertain why it's still covered. Or why he hasn't removed the rest of his own clothes, for that matter. How sloppy of him.

"Keith," Lance draws his attention and brushes his thumb over the wet spot on the front of Keith's pants. "Are you gonna fuck me or not?"

“Hmm,” Keith says, though it sounds more like a moan. With a grunt, he yanks Lance’s bottoms off and trails his lips down his stomach.

“Shhhh,” Keith manages at Lance’s insistence.

Lance spreads his legs, basking in his newfound freedom. His eyes widen and his hips buck on their own accord as Keith nips at his thigh, leaving him trembling. Keith is so close. So close to giving Lance what he desperately needs. So close to marking him his own.

He'd been under the impression that Keith was supposed to bite his neck, but something tells Lance that anywhere would be fine, as long as it's a proper bite. And Keith is just teasing him with his little nips across his legs.

"Keeeeith," Lance whines and hooks a leg over Keith's neck, holding him in place. "Stop stalling!"

Keith lets out a sound as Lance traps him in place.

“Stalling…” He repeats. “What... You mean sex?” He asks. “You’ve got me a little... Confined, Lance.”

Lance huffs. He can see Keith's point. But he likes seeing Keith between his legs. Right now, he isn't sure what he wants more.

He wishes Keith would decide for him.

"Then do something about it," Lance says with a small smirk. Maybe he'll get to see those muscles in use.

Keith grunts and rolls his eyes.

Lance makes a surprised sound as Keith pulls his leg off from his neck and somehow, in the same movement, manages to pin Lance's arms over his head. Lance really can't say how it happened but he isn't complaining. If anything, his body grows even hotter.

And then there's a light mark on his hip, not enough to break skin, but Lance knows it's going to be purple. He bites his lip and tries not to make a big deal out of it, but fuck, it's a big deal.

It's Keith's first mark of ownership, even if it isn't binding.

"I've got a complexion to maintain," Lance tries to sound irritated. "You better take responsibility for this."

Keith flicks his eyes to Lance and offers a smile.

“Does that mean you want me to stop?”

A burst of panic wells in Lance's chest as Keith mentions stopping. No, he couldn't possibly suggest such a thing, couldn't leave Lance like this!

But then Keith leans over and kisses him and the panic fades away. Keith isn't going anywhere.

“How should I make it up to you?” Keith asks, hands sliding up Lance’s sides.

"Well," Lance lowers his hands to tug at Keith's pants, "you can take these off for starters."

Keith raises a brow.

“That so?” A smile tugs at his lips as he brushes his hand down Lance’s chest. Lance inhales sharply as Keith takes him in his hand. The pleasure is cut short as Keith frowns and pulls away.

“Lance, where’s...” He trails off, looking away pointedly to fuss over his own pants, pulling them off.

Lance blinks and suddenly a wave of embarrassment washes over him, prompting him to quickly sit up and fold his knees to his chest.

How could he have forgotten the surgery?

Fuck. He'll be lucky if any human touches him now. How is he going to survive on Earth if no one is going to take him in?

"I'm sorry," Lance says in a rough voice. His heat radiates off him miserably, heating him up with no hope of ever cooling off. "I should've warned you."

Keith looks at Lance and grabs his chin.

“Hey, hey,” he makes Lance meets his eyes, “they fucked us up, they did, but that doesn’t stop you from being amazing.”

His cheeks mirror Lance’s flush.

“You...” he struggles to find words, “you don’t need to apologize. Ever. Not for this.” He looks at Lance with understanding.

“I'm here for you, Lance,” he says before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

And the tears were back, working overtime. Lance wonders how he hasn't wasted away from dehydration yet. He clutches Keith close and hides his face in Keith's neck, trying to figure out if he's happy or sad. Desperately horny either way, but the rest of his emotions are a confusing blur.

"Then show me," Lance says eventually and pulls away with a sniff. He meets Keith's eyes with determination. "Show me you still want me, even like this."

Keith looks back at Lance for a long moment before gently pressing him back down against the bed, his hand trembling.

“Yeah, okay.”

Lance lies back, finding comfort in the familiar position as Keith spreads him open. Finally, something he knows. He closes his eyes and his breath hitches as Keith slides in, filling him up and providing satisfaction that lasts for a moment before Lance's body throbs in renewed need.

"Fuck," Lance reaches up to grab at Keith's shoulders, "yes, please."

Lance absently wonders if the walls are soundproof. A part of him hopes they are, because the sounds leaving his mouth are downright embarrassing. A different, primal part of him hopes they aren't. He wants the whole ship to know that Keith chose him. That Keith is taking care of him and soon enough, will mark him as his own.

Digging his nails into Keith's skin, Lance tries to hang onto his larger frame as Keith continues to rock his hips in a quickly increasing pace.

Keith grips Lance’s sides and hikes him closer, deeper.

Lance arches his back as Keith returns his hand to his length, stroking him in a punishing pace. He cums once, twice, and Keith is still thrusting into him, chasing his release.

"Knot me," Lance demands breathlessly, unlatching his hands from Keith's shoulders in favor of cupping his face.

"Breed me. I know you can."

Keith looks at Lance with confusion before his eyes flutter shut.

“Lance,” he whispers hoarsely.

Lance shudders as he feels Keith release inside him, hot and sticky. For the first time in what felt like hours, Lance is at peace.

His peace is quickly disrupted as Keith tries to pull away.

Lance lets out a strangled cry of pain and immediately reaches out to wrap his arms and legs around Keith, keeping him close.

"Don't move," Lance hisses. "What's the matter with you."

Keith’s eyes snap open.

“Lance, are you okay?”

"I'm fine," Lance snaps, "just don't move until I tell you."

Keith flinches, but nevertheless keeps still.

He leans back and stares up at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath. A few minutes pass and Lance rolls his hips experimentally.

"...okay, you can pull out. If you want," Lance adds, a little dejectedly. He likes how Keith feels inside him.

Slowly, Keith pulls out with a hiss. He climbs off Lance and rests by his side, the two of them panting from the effort.

A few minutes later, Keith reaches out and brushes some hair from the back of Lance’s neck

“Have you-” Keith says, frowning, before his lips curve in a grin. “You’ve got a mullet.”

Lance blinks and proceeds to flush in indignation.

"What? I don't have a mullet! You obviously don't-ah!" Lance cuts himself off with a loud moan and a full-body shiver. He doesn't understand what Keith did, but the fingers on his neck suck the fight right out of him. Lance melts back against the pillow and looks up at Keith, dazed and hot.

Keith’s teasing grin fades.

“That... That’s not normal,” he mutters. He exhales and clears his throat. “Yeah. I kinda think you do,” he teases. “After all those complaints about my hair…”

He brushes Lance’s shoulder and presses a kiss to Lance’s lips.

Lance looks up at Keith through a haze of heat. He looks so far away. Sounds so far away. He wants Keith close. But he can't raise his hands to pull Keith closer. So Lance smiles and nods.

"Okay," he says faintly, agreeing with whatever it was Keith was saying. Anything to keep him from going any farther.

Keith frowns, but as if sensing Lance’s desire, pulls him close and runs his fingers through Lance’s hair.

Lance makes a soft, pleased sound as Keith pulls him close. He hums and noses at Keith's neck, inhaling his soothing scent. But there was something missing.

This is his alpha. His mate. And as such, Keith needs to carry some of his scent as well. How else will others know that he belongs to Lance?

It comes naturally when Lance opens his mouth to lave at the tender skin of Keith's neck before sinking his teeth into his flesh.

“Mm, Lance what are you- fuck!”

Keith cries out in pain and starts to struggle before falling back, pliant against the pillows, eyes wide and bright.

“Lance…”

Lance's teeth stay firmly embedded in Keith's neck for a few good seconds before pulling away, eyeing the mark he'd left with satisfaction. Keith will never be able to hide it. His thought is immediately derailed when he feels a pair of lips on his neck, along with the hint of teeth dragging over his sensitive skin.

Pleasure is chased by momentary pain that is quickly transformed back into even more intense pleasure. Lance moans and tilts his head back, closing his eyes to bask in the moment.

Because this is it. This is what he's been waiting for.

He's being claimed.

.x.

When Lance opens his eyes, the first thing he registers is warmth. There's a warm body next to his own and an arm curled around his shoulder, holding him close. Lance closes his eyes again with a smile. So everything had been a lousy nightmare. He's in bed with Sendak, safe and secure.

A second later his eyes flash open again, wide with alarm. The body next to him is too smooth and small to be Sendak. The person next to him smells good, familiar, but nothing similar to Sendak's scent.

Lance's stomach churns as he realizes that the room reeks of sex.

Fighting his way out of his bedmate's hold, Lance's heart sinks in his chest as he looks down at Keith's peaceful, sleeping form. And on his neck is a distinctive bite mark.

Shaking, Lance raises his hand to his own neck and stifles a gasp as he confirms what he'd feared the most. His skin burns at his touch.

_What have I done?_

Keith groans as he stirs, eyes slowly opening. Lance watches as Keith wakes up and comes to the same realizations that he'd come to only moments before. There’s a sudden thump as Keith twists in bed with alarm and falls to the floor. There's a twin feeling of regret and despair sinking in Lance's stomach and he can't tell if it's his or, oddly enough, Keith’s.

“I’m sorry,” he says, voice hoarse and strained as he looks up at Lance.

Lance knows Keith means every word.

He remembers every second of the previous night. How much he'd begged and whined. And even though he wants to blame Keith, to scream and yell, Lance knows Keith isn't the only one who'd made a mistake.

That doesn't stop Lance from not wanting to ever see him again.

"...Excuse me," Lance says and hastily climbs out of bed to run towards the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach, one nausea induced heave after the other.

A few minutes pass before there’s a knock on the door.

“Lance,” Keith’s voice whispers, then he audibly clears his throat. “I... I’m gonna… You have the room to yourself.”

Lance’s first instinct is to call back and invite Keith in. He wants to be comforted. But he doesn't say anything and allows Keith to leave despite the twinge in his chest.

He tries to tell himself it isn't real. That before last night, he wouldn't want anything to do with Keith.

But Lance isn't sure what's real and what's not. Can he really say that he never vied for Keith's attention, never wanted to spend time with him? How is this any different from when he'd been so angry with Sendak and then after the surgery they were inseparable?

Lance's head hurts. He wants Keith. He doesn't want Keith. He wants Sendak. He doesn't want Sendak. The only constant is his deep-rooted need to see his baby again.

But after last night, Lance feels that the distance between him and Vhix had only grown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! ;)
> 
> Early update this week, we know. We'd like to take the opportunity to let you guys know that some of you might be experiencing problems with receiving update alerts for the story. If you want to stay updated, we suggest regularly checking in on Fridays, when we usually post new chapters!
> 
> And as always, thank you for your comments! We love hearing from you, and we hope you continue to share your thoughts with us <3


	25. Chapter 25

Lance knows he's alone in Keith's room. He can feel it in his bones. The fact that he hadn't heard the door slide open since Keith left was certainly a sign of his solitude, but someone could've sneaked into the room while he was showering.

Lance is alone, and he doesn't know how he feels about that.

He hesitates for a moment before opening the bathroom door. He walks out into the room, towel wrapped snugly around his waist as he looks around, confirming what he'd already known. Still, despite his relief at having the room to himself and his thoughts, there's a part of Lance that feels a pang of loneliness. Of yearning.

It almost feels like there's a part of him that's missing. That there's someone who should be with him right now, holding and comforting him in his confused and pained state. There's a part of him that knows that _he_ should be comforting someone, holding them through their own guilt and confusion.

Shaking his head, Lance looks around the room for something he can wear. His own outfit is out of the question. He picks up the discarded pants and tunic and wrinkles his nose at the wet spots and the poignant scent rising from them. Nope.

After a few minutes of deliberation, Lance finally gives in and walks over to Keith's closet. He hesitates for a moment before taking out a pair of black pants and a grey shirt. The pants are a little tight around his thighs and the shirt is too wide on his shoulders, and Lance frowns at his reflection.

He thought Keith's clothes would fit him better.

He's a bit uncomfortable, especially with the fact that he's going commando, but he can't wear his own ruined underwear- and Lance refuses to wear Keith's. Still, despite the way the clothes make him feel, there's something about Keith's scent that comforts him. It's faint, as the clothes have been cleaned, but Lance can still smell him. He lifts the collar of the shirt over his nose and inhales.

Closing his eyes, Lance feels his body relax just a touch before he suddenly realizes what he's doing.

Quickly, Lance opens his eyes and pulls the shirt down with a faint blush. He clears his throat and decides then and there that his first destination is going to be his own room. He'll change clothes and then try to find Keith. As much as he dreads the conversation, they need to talk. When Lance walks out of Keith's room, however, he practically walks into Hunk.

"There you are," Hunk exclaims and squeezes Lance's shoulders. "I was looking for you! Are you feeling okay?"

Lance blinks up at Hunk, flinching at the sudden touch. It's not that he doesn't like Hunk touching him. It's so nice to have someone without a scent near him, it helps him clear his mind. It doesn't trigger his body into rash decisions. But it's almost as if his body is rejecting Hunk's touch. It desperately yearns for someone else.

Lance, however, is done with following his body's demands. He smiles up at Hunk and stretches his arms over his head, faking a yawn.

"Yep, I'm good! Just woke up," Lance says cheerfully. "How are you?"

He notices Hunk taking in his ill-fitting clothes that so clearly did not belong to him, and the fact that he’s walking out of Keith’s room is a dead giveaway. But Hunk doesn’t comment on it, which Lance is immensely grateful for. Instead, Hunk smiles and nods.

“I haven’t been up for that long, either. Pidge and I were going to go over some schematics, but... Well, it feels like forever since it's just been the three of us. Wanna join?"

Lance lets his arms drop to his sides as he considers Hunk's offer. On the one hand, every part of him wants to go seek out Keith. He doesn't have time to sit around in Keith's clothes and chat with Hunk and Pidge. Lance's smile wavers and he opens his mouth to decline Hunk's invitation when he snaps it shut and gives a determined nod instead.

"Yeah, I'd love to," Lance declares and runs his fingers through his hair.

Hunk gives him an odd look before waving for Lance to follow him. Lance obliges, giving one last longing look at the door to his room before continuing towards what looked like a lounge.

"Uh, so, I think Shiro's still in solitary. You... Um, did Lotor let you know about any solutions for our..." Hunk trails off. “For the situation?"

Lance slides his hands into his newfound pockets and clears his throat. He doesn’t remember the last time he’d worn something with pockets.

"I'm not- I'm not sure," Lance says slowly and doesn't elaborate as they walk into the room. His lips curve in a half-smile and he gives Pidge a small wave before taking a seat next to her on the couch. She was surrounded by screens, much like the last time he'd really interacted with her. On Sendak's ship.

"Hey," he greets her and tilts his head. "What are you working on?"

Pidge looks up and looks away as soon as she sees Lance.

"Uh... Trying to establish a signal,” she says softly, flicking her eyes to Lance before sharply looking away.

Lance glances at Pidge's screen, trying to decipher the code before shaking his head in defeat. He'd never been good at that, not even back at the Garrison. He was always more of an action guy. He'd only program as much as he needed to pass the class.

"Who are you trying to contact?" He asks conversationally, scooting a little closer as Hunk sits down on his other side.

Hunk reaches out for a plate of biscuits and offers one to Lance as Pidge sighs and looks at Lance with a huff.

"My father," she says shortly. "They were supposed to have landed by now, but I-" she cuts herself off and snatches one of the biscuits from the plate.

Lance takes one of the offered biscuits and holds it in his hands, turning it this way and that and counting corners as Pidge mentions her family. That's right. They'd been held captive by the Galra. She said as much the last time they spoke.

"I don't really- where are they landing?" Lance asks, voice almost a whisper. He feels ashamed at his lack of knowledge. He wonders if he'd been told something about Pidge's family recently and had simply forgotten.

Hunk shifts besides Lance and sets the plate down.

"Hey, Katie, let's… The programs will still be there. Let's catch up. Lance probably has a lot of questions."

Pidge makes a face but shifts and shuts the program down.

"Happy?" She snaps childishly. Hunk smiles and nods.

Lance stuffs the biscuit into his mouth and wipes his hands clean on his pants. He feels like an outsider, and his insistence that he doesn't belong anymore resurfaces. He just wants to be off this ship and back in Sendak's room. Where everything made sense. Where he knew who he was and the role he played.

Here? Lance isn't even wearing his own clothes. Nothing about him belonged. In the past, Lance vaguely remembers, that wouldn't have mattered to him. He would've sat down and think nothing of embedding himself in a conversation between two strangers. But here he is, sitting with his best friend and his teammate, and he feels so out of his depth.

What happened to that Lance?

Hunk reaches out and squeezes Lance's shoulder.

“Hey buddy, um, let's... Would you like to ask anything?" He prompts gently, looking at Pidge expectantly. She frowns.

"Fine,” she huffs. "My family should be on Earth."

Lance's eyes widen.

"Earth? Really? Wow!" He exclaims, unsure why Pidge was looking so uncomfortable. Shouldn't she be excited? "How did that happen? Did they escape, too?"

Pidge pulls her legs to her chest and looks away. Hunk clears his throat.

"She... Um, she refused to go with us until we got them both free and on Earth," he supplies.

Lance realizes that he's walking on eggshells and wets his lips thoughtfully.

"So did Lotor free them?" He asks curiously, though keeping his tone gentle.

"I'm here, aren't I," Pidge snaps and Hunk frowns at her.

Lance winces at Pidge's tone. Geez. It was like everything he was saying was just wrong.

"Look, I'm sorry that the fact that I don't know what happened to you and your family annoys you, but I'm trying to fill in the gaps," Lance digs his nails into his palms.

Pidge shakes her head and starts to turn back to her computers when Hunk clears his throat.

"Katie, Lance deserves to hear what happened, he shouldn't be kept in the dark."

Lance gives Pidge a long, silent look before turning to Hunk. As curious as he is about Pidge and her family, he knows when he isn't wanted. He won't push her. Maybe Hunk can tell him later.

Later. Assuming there will be a later. Lance isn't sure he wants there to be one. Fuck, he really needs to talk to Keith.

"So," Lance clears his throat and crosses his legs on the couch, "what about you? How did you get here?"

Hunk offers Lance a gentle smile.

“Uh, well, to be honest, I don't really remember,” he says. "Lotor told me that, uh," he lets out a shaky breath. "I was... Kinda useless for the first two weeks,” he says softly. He taps his temple. "Brainwashed or um, something," he manages a smile. "So, we had to do that whole thing. I think Lotor, uh," his cheeks flush, "bargained for me."

Lance reaches out and takes Hunk's hand, squeezing it.

"I remember," he says quietly. "And I don't know what Lotor said or did exactly to get you out of there, but whatever he did, it was worth it. You weren't yourself," Lance whispers and swallows thickly. Guilt washes over him as Sendak's voice echoes in his head, telling him to forget his friends. To forget Hunk.

"I'm sorry," Lance says in a small voice. "I should've done more to help you.”

Hunk wraps Lance up in a hug.

“No, Lance, you were in no position to help,” he whispers, squeezing his shoulders before releasing him. He rubs his neck thoughtfully, the scar that had been fresh when they'd first seen each other was now faint and pink against his dark skin.

"And even if you could’ve helped more, we still would have been where we were," he admits softly. "We're just glad to all be together,” he remarks, looking at Pidge expectantly as she fiddles with a thread in her shirt.

Lance doesn't comment on Hunk's remark, though he is surprisingly okay with Hunk's hug. Apparently his body has decided that touching other people was okay now. Go figure. He looks between Hunk and Pidge for a moment and sighs.

"I should've helped you, too," Lance says quietly and reaches out to place his hand on Pidge's arm. Out of everyone on the ship, Pidge is the only one who'd seen how Sendak truly treated him. The others saw darker, more primal aspects to Sendak's personality. But Pidge had seen Sendak being kind, if not a bit impatient. She'd seen him touch Lance fondly, and Lance returning his touch. If anyone understood the influence he might've had on Sendak, it was Pidge.

It was so much easier to listen to Sendak telling him that he was better off without Voltron. Without his friends.

Pidge looks down at his hand and lets in a sharp inhale. Hunk shrugs.

"I think we were all experiencing our own..." He bites his lip. "Experiences," he states, "until Lotor came," he swallows. "We probably would've died at the Galra's hand."

Lance's cheeks color with shame. He was the only one who'd been safe. Who didn't need saving. He can understand why Hunk, Pidge, Keith and Shiro needed Lotor to free them, to gather them all together. Lance knows how cruel the Galra can be.

But _his_ Galra wasn't cruel. Not to him. Not anymore.

"I'm sorry," Lance whispers and before he can stop himself, he pulls Pidge into a hug. "I'm so sorry."

Pidge lets out a sound of alarm as Lance pulls her into a hug. Tears openly falling down her face.

"No, no, _stop_," she pleads and scrabbles out of his arms. "I don't deserve an apology,” she rubs at her eyes.

Lance recoils as he's pushed away, burned at the blatant rejection

"Katie, we talked about this, it's not your-"

"It is! If I hadn't demanded my family be saved-" she croaks and squeezes her eyes together. "Lance might've been rescued sooner..."

She swallows, looking at Lance.

"You shouldn't apologize. You've got nothing to be sorry about,” she says, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

Lance’s eyes widen as Pidge turns the tables and implies that she should be apologizing to _him_. He frowns, not quite understanding what was upsetting her so much.

"What do you mean?" Lance asks, turning to look at Hunk for answers.

Hunk bites his lip, a welt appearing where he continues to nervously gnaw that the same spot. He opens his mouth, closes it, then clears his throat.

"Katie, she," they both look at Pidge, who looks the picture of guilt.

"She didn't want to do anything, join us... Any of it. Not until her family was rescued. It," he clears his throat, "it wasn't something Lotor had accounted for. It took some time and... We didn't have Keith yet." He looks at Lance. "And we needed him to rescue you,” he whispers.

Pidge won't meet their gazes. "I'm sorry,” she whispers.

Lance looks at the two of them, regret and guilt coming off them in waves, and shifts uncomfortably between them. They look so sad. It almost seems insulting how indifferent he feels to the news.

"No," Lance shakes his head and takes Pidge's hand. "Don't apologize. I'm glad your family is safe," he says with what he hopes is a comforting smile. "Family comes first, right?" He waits for a moment, squeezing Pidge's hand before letting go.

"Anyway, I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't really want be here," Lance says dryly, trying to lighten the mood. "As far as I'm concerned, you did me a solid."

Pidge flinches at that and looks away. Hunk exhales.

"We know you don't, Lance, but... If you had been rescued earlier, maybe you wouldn't have been separated from your baby,” he says with a sigh then falls back onto the couch.

"It doesn't really matter,” Hunk reasons, "all of this just... Sucks."

Lance blinks. He hadn't considered that. There's a pang in his chest, a yearning for Vhix. For his mate. His mood immediately sours. His supposed mate was the reason he doesn't have his baby with him, not Pidge and her family.

"No, it's not your fault. It's Keith's," Lance says stiffly and stands up. He can't deny his body's directives anymore. He needs to find Keith and demand that he retrieve Vhix. That's the only thing Lance is certain about.

Pidge looks like she wants to protest, but Hunk places a hand on Pidge's shoulder and calmly shakes his head.

"Are you going to speak with him?" Hunk asks gently.

"You bet," Lance purses his lips. "Have you seen him?"

"Uh..." Hunk frowns, "he might be in the gym. That's where he tends to be most hours of the day."

He shifts in his seat.

“Do you want me to come?"

Lance shakes his head. "No," he says firmly and turns to leave before thinking twice about it and turns back to look at Hunk and Pidge with a small smile. "Seriously, don't feel bad, okay?"

Pidge and Hunk look at him with twin furrows on their brows and Hunk slides an arm around Pidge's shoulder.

“We'll do our best,” he answers with a light voice, despite the tearful expression on his face.

Lance gives them an encouraging smile before walking out of the lounge. There are so many things he has to talk to Keith about. And all the while, he can feel an ebb of anger, frustration and guilt that Lance is pretty sure doesn't belong to him.

By the time Lance reaches what looked to be the ship’s training hall, Lance’s determination wavers. He peeks in and sure enough, there is Keith, working out every last ounce of his energy. Lance bites his lip and leans back against the wall, listening to the grunts and occasional swearing as he does his own thinking.

He knows he needs to talk to Keith. There are so many things that need to be said. But what if Keith rejects him? What if he hates him for what he made Keith do? What if Keith refuses to retrieve Vhix and insists that Lance start over, leaving everything behind?

Keith is his alpha now. His bond mate. It’s a scary thought.

He continues to put the conversation off, stewing in his own apprehension when Lance suddenly hears another familiar voice in the training hall.

Shiro?

Risking a look into the room, Lance sees Shiro standing next to Keith. He must have entered the room through the sliding doors on the other side. Lance can't help but smile a little at how normal Shiro looks from afar. Tired, yes, but there was no trace of the crazed beast who had toppled him to the ground.

Hunk had said that Shiro was still in solitary, though. When had he been let out? Why?

“Why did you stop the simulator?” Lance hears Keith demand with a scowl.

"You're not pacing yourself," Shiro states and raises a brow. "At this rate, you're going to hurt yourself."

Keith throws his blade to the ground.

“Maybe I deserve that,” he snarls and begins to pace. “Fight me,” he asks, desperation in his voice. Lance flinches just hearing it.

Shiro silently looks at Keith for a long moment, studying the rise and fall of his chest, before shaking his head.

"Not when you're like this," Shiro says firmly. He reaches out and places a hand on Keith's shoulder.

"Are you going to tell me why you're punishing yourself?"

Keith flinches and then relaxes into Shiro’s touch.

“I...” he pulls away, his eyes closing. “I hurt him.” He swallows. “I... I hurt Lance. I swore I would never and I...” his voice cracks.

Lance's eyes widen as Keith crumples to the floor. An overwhelming wave of sadness and guilt washes over him and makes it difficult for Lance to breathe. Is this what Keith is feeling?

He watches as Shiro lowers himself to the floor and takes Keith's hand.

"I heard about what happened from Lotor when he released me from solitary," he says slowly. "And from what I understood, you were helping Lance through a... Difficult time."

Keith shakes his head.

“He didn’t... He didn’t want it,” he explains. “Before... Whatever happened... He told me he didn’t. And I didn’t want to force-“ he draws his hand in a fist and punches the ground. “I fucked up, Shiro.”

Lance startles at the sudden bout of anger and bites his lip. He doesn't know what to think.

"It sounds to me like both of you were forced into something you didn't want," Shiro says gently. "And if it was anything like how I-"

Shiro pauses and clears his throat.

"I don't think either of you had a choice."

Keith grits his teeth and pulls his knees to his chest.

“All I wanted was to save him, Shiro. I just wanted-“ He swallows and blinks rapidly. “How am I any different than,” his eyes narrow as he practically spits the words, “Sendak. I’m-“ he breaths, “I’m Galra. I’m them.”

Shiro frowns and reaches out to place both of his hands on Keith's shoulders.

"Keith, look at me," he waits until Keith agrees to meet his eyes. "You may have Galra blood in you. And I might've been embedded with Galra DNA. Lance too," Shiro adds as an afterthought.

"But that doesn't mean we're anything like them," Shiro says fiercely. "You didn't want to hurt Lance. Sendak didn't care if he was hurting Lance," Shiro raises his chin. "Do you think Sendak sat in a corner and cried about hurting Lance's feelings? Torturing him? Mutilating him?"

Shiro squeezes Keith's shoulders.

"Of course not. Because he doesn't care about Lance like you do. And that's the main difference between you two," Shiro nods. "You care. And you don't have big, furry ears," Shiro says with a small smile.

Lance wants to object, to make his presence known and insist that Shiro was being unfair, vilifying Sendak like that. Is that really all they thought about him? Did Lance’s words have no weight at all? Why won’t anyone believe him that Sendak truly cares for him?

The comments about the ears makes him smile, though, despite himself.

Tears brim Keith’s eyes and he blinks them away.

“Yet, I don’t have them yet,” he manages a smile and he pulls Shiro into a hug. “I’m...” He takes a deep breath; “I’m so glad you’re okay” he says, exhales, and pulls back.

“I hope Lotor is right about you and Lance, I’m sure he’d like to see you again...” Keith offers, changing the subject.

Lance tears his gaze away from Keith and Shiro, huddled together on the floor, and leans back heavily against the wall. His heart is pounding in his chest as his mind is racing with too many thoughts, confusing and contradicting.

His heart hurts. He wants to run over to Keith and hug him, but the thought of Sendak holds Lance back.

His wants and desires have been completely disregarded. Again. But it isn't Keith's fault. His body had done something stupid and he'd basically coerced Keith, biologically speaking. Maybe he should be the one apologizing.

Keith’s words drift through the doorway.

“I... Maybe I should check on Lance,” he says with uncertainty. “He... He was throwing up with I left.”

"I think that's a good idea," Shiro replies. "And if you're both feeling better, I'm sure we'd all be happy to see you at the bridge. I know I have a few things to apologise to Lance for."

Lance's eyes widen in alarm as he hears Keith and Shiro walk towards the exit. His exit. He roughly wipes away his tears with the back of his hand and scrambles to his feet just before Keith and Shiro walk out.

"O-oh, hey," Lance clears his throat and fakes a smile. "There you are. I was looking for you."

Keith starts back when he sees Lance. He reaches out and touches Lance’s hand before gently taking it and giving it a squeeze.

“You found me,” he says softly, his eyes briefly flitting to Shiro before focusing on Lance. “You feeling okay?”

Lance feels some of the tension leave his body as Keith takes his hand and squeezes it. His smile softens.

"Yeah, I-"

Lance follows Keith's gaze and freezes as he meets Shiro's eyes. Shiro's shoulders stiffen and he meets his gaze so intensely that Lance takes an instinctive step towards Keith. Shiro watches him before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. When he opens them again, the Shiro Lance used to know and look up to looks back at him.

"Lance," Shiro says quietly. "It's good to see you."

Lance hesitates for a moment before offering Shiro a hesitant smile.

"It's good to see you too."

Both of them know why this civil meeting is possible. Lance doesn't realize he'd raised his hand until he feels his fingers brush against the mark on his neck. He quickly lowers his hand and clears his throat.

"Shiro, you should just know-"

"I would like to apologize," Shiro cuts him off. "I've harmed and upset you."

Lance's expression softens.

"It's okay. It isn't your fault, you weren't yourself."

"Still," Shiro raises his chin, "that doesn't excuse what I've done.

Lance gives Shiro a long look before nodding. Denying Shiro his accountability wasn't going to give Shiro peace.

"In that case, I forgive you," Lance says and takes a step forward, reaching for Shiro's hand and squeezing it.

He can hear Keith inhaling sharply and Lance blinks as Keith suddenly takes his hand, tugging him closer. Shiro takes a quick step back and excuses himself with an embarrassed smile.

Lance wonders what all of that was about.

“You,” Keith swallows, “you got sick earlier, so you, um, should we go to med bay?”

"Oh, nah, I'm fine," Lance waves his free hand with a shake of the head. He pauses and gives Keith a searching look.

"How about you? Are you okay?"

Keith looks at Lance then looks away with a shrug.

“I’m managing, uh, best I can.” He reaches to rub his neck in discomfort then winces.

“Uh, so... Do you need something?”

Lance stares at Keith a beat too long and catches himself, looking away with a slightly flushed face. Have Keith's eyes always been so pretty? And his mullet really isn't so bad. He wonders why he'd hated it so much before.

"I, uh....I guess we need to talk," Lance rubs his shoulder awkwardly. "About being stuck together for life and all that."

Keith nods.

“Yeah... I, er, I don’t exactly understand all this,” he says slowly. “Like, what do you mean ‘stuck together’ and...” He takes a deep breath. “I... I hurt you... I’m sorry, I know you didn’t want-“

There’s a flash of panic in Lance’s chest that most certainly does not belong to him.

Lance had been aiming for a bit of humor to lighten the mood, a bit black, but humor all the same. He hadn't expected such a strong reaction from Keith, however, and his eyes flash open in alarm. His arms are wrapped around Keith a moment later and he's encouraging Keith to nose at the crook of his neck.

It's automatic, instinctive, but Lance doesn't think about that. He makes a soothing sound from the back of his throat as he runs his fingers through the hair he'd just been admiring.

"Hey, shhh, it's okay, take a deep breath," Lance says softly. There's a sudden, physical memory of holding his baby in his arms, just like this, and Lance sucks in his breath. But then he's back to rubbing Keith's back and holding him just a bit closer than before.

Keith melts against Lance’s neck and Lance can feel the panic ebb away.

“You shouldn’t be comforting me...” Keith says as he finally pulls back. “We need to talk,” he says, steeling his expression and taking Lance’s hands.

Lance wets his lips and gives a sharp, decisive nod. Yes, they definitely need to talk.

"We can go to my room?" Lance offers. They need privacy, and after last night, Lance doesn't want to go anywhere near Keith's room.

Keith nods, “yeah, let’s do that.”

Lance follows Keith back to his room. The door slides open and Keith steps inside.

“Um, maybe it’s better if you start,” Keith says, letting go of Lance’s hand.

Lance leans against the wall and offers Keith a contemplative look. The last time he sat down on a bed with Keith hadn't ended well. Or, to be exact, it led to this complicated situation in which Lance can't even trust his own feelings to tell him how he feels about it.

"So... I guess we should start from what we know," Lance raises his hand and ticks off the facts as he lists them.

"You're part Galra and apparently somewhat alpha. My biology has been messed with and I'm... An omega, I guess. Alphas and omegas bind themselves to each other with mating marks, which we both now have because of a. Well. I think it's called a heat. Yeah. So I had a spontaneous heat that made me want you and you want me."

Lance lowers his hand and meets Keith's gaze.

"So like it or not, we're now biologically linked. Whatever that means."

Keith fidgets.

“So, uh... Right,” Keith pauses. “So we... What does that mean though?” He shakes his head, his fist curling. “For us? For you?”

Lance crosses his arms against his chest and looks away.

"Well...I'm not sure. Shiro didn't go crazy when he saw me today, so it must've already started to take effect," Lance says quietly. "I don't....I don't know if Sendak will want me anymore," Lance adds in a small voice. "What if he won't let me see my son?"

Keith takes a few steps then takes Lance’s hand again.

“We are going to get you your son.” He bites his lip. “Lance, all of this is really new. Really foreign. I... In the arena I suspected, but I didn’t want to -“ he inhales, “I couldn’t accept that part of me. I took that feeling out on you, and...” He swallows.

“If you never want to touch me again I understand. And I’m sorry. But I will get you your son. I’m sorry I...” He presses his lips, “I’m sorry I failed to do it the first time.”

Lance swallows thickly. He's finding it more and more difficult to stay angry with Keith. He can feel Keith's regret welling in his own chest, and it made it almost impossible to hold a grudge against him. Ugh.

"...I know Vhix isn't human," Lance says slowly. "I-the first time I saw him, I couldn't believe he was related to me at all."

Lance doesn't know why he's saying this. To Keith. To anyone. It was a secret he'd promised himself to take to the grave.

"But then he opened his eyes and looked at me and Keith, he has my eyes," Lance says earnestly and his voice grows thick. "He's my son and-"

Lance closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He doesn't have the energy to cry again.

Keith nods slowly then pulls Lance into a hug.

“And he belongs with you,” he whispers. He pulls back and tucks a strand of hair behind Lance’s ear.

“I can’t say we’ve been through worse,” he states. “I don’t know what you had to endure... And you don’t know what I had to do,” he says almost nervously. “But we will get through this, and I will get you home.”

Keith takes Lance’s hands.

“I swear I will.”

Lance is tempted to find comfort in Keith's words. To believe him, to embrace his vision of a happy ending for the two of them.

But how can he?

"Keith, I can't go home," Lance states and pulls his hands out of Keith's hold. "They won't- I'm a freak," Lance presses his lips into a thin line. "I don't know what I'm capable of. I trapped you in a lifelong bond. Who knows what I might do to my own family?"

Lance shakes his head and takes a step back.

"Besides, even if he won't want me, I still have feelings for Sendak," Lance says miserably. "I know you don't believe me. But I miss him so much."

Keith frowns.

"How can you love someone who... Hurt you?" He draws his hands into fists. "Lance, you have to realize how fucked up this is. The only reason we even fucking 'bonded' was because he fucked up your body!"

"No, the only reason we bonded is because you kidnapped me," Lance snaps. "None of this would've happened if you hadn't been so selfish and just let me be!"

Lance takes a deep breath. He doesn't want to argue with Keith. Not right now. But fuck, Keith was making it difficult.

"I won't deny Sendak hurt me. He did. He tortured me and forced me to do things I didn't want to do at the time. But he saved my life, Keith. More than once. If it wasn't for Sendak, Zarkon would've had me killed that very first day."

Lance hesitates.

"As for my body....Yeah. I didn't want it. But without this transformation I wouldn't have had Vhix. And he makes up for all of it."

Lance knows not to bother with detailing how much Sendak loves him and dotes on him at any given opportunity. Keith wouldn't believe a word of it.

"I guess..." Keith starts before shaking his head and exhaling, "fine, I guess that's fair." He agrees and shifts from foot to foot. "I want-" he grits his teeth together.

"I know things have changed between us, but... Lance, we all just want to go home after we pay our debt to Lotor. We want you to be with us, to be safe. Please tell me you understand that."

Lance looks at Keith, shifting awkwardly in front of him. He could tell Keith was uncomfortable even without the foreign bubble of emotion in his chest. Lance nibbles on his lip for a contemplative moment before sighing and unfolding his arms.

"I get it," Lance allows. "We came here together, heck, I was the one who flew us out here in the first place. And you want all of us to go back together. Even when I made it clear to Lotor that that isn't what I want."

Lance curls his hands and digs his nails into his palms. No getting angry. Angry won't help.

"...let me ask you this," Lance meets Keith's eyes. "We’re supposed to form Voltron and fight the Galra, right? Well, Sendak knows where we're from. He doesn't know we've bonded. He's going to do everything he can to get me back. What if he targets Earth?"

"I won't let it come to that,” Keith says darkly. “I’ll protect you. And I’d never let him reach Earth. _We’ll_ never let that happen.”

Lance bites his lip. Bites back the conviction that they'd lose. That they hadn't been good enough before, that they certainly won't be good enough now, broken and fragmented. Sendak will win, blood will be spilled, and the one thing Lance has been dreading since the very start- Earth under Galra rule- will come to fruition.

All because of him.

"I can't let it come to that," Lance's voice trembles with emotion. "I just can't risk it, Keith. It would be so much easier if you just let me go. I'm not worth an entire planet full of people."

Keith winces and reaches out and takes Lance's hand.

"I know you're scared, and..." He swallows. "I am too," he admits, squeezing Lance's hands.

“If Sendak comes for you, I'm going to protect you." He says, so resolute and sure. “Because I failed you... All those times," he blinks back tears. "You aren't collateral, Lance, you're you, and I-" he swallows, "I am gonna keep us all safe."

Lance's lips quiver. He can't tell if the overwhelming sadness is coming from him or from Keith, but he's trying to blink back the tears either way. He's tired of crying. He's tired of being sad.

His abuela used to say something about sadness being a choice. Lance hadn't understood her then, couldn't make sense of how a feeling, any feeling, could be a conscious choice. But looking at Keith now, squeezing his hands like a lifeline, Lance realizes that he wants to be happy.

He doesn't know how. He doesn't know if and when it will happen. And even if he doesn't believe that Keith can protect him, any of them, from Sendak and the Galra empire, Lance desperately wants to believe. Desperately wants to be happy.

"...I'm what?" Lance repeats quietly and tilts his head. "What am I, Keith?"

Keith’s eyes widen, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

“You're...." he starts then flounders, “you're you,” he repeats. “Funny, sweet, fucking dumb," he says with fondness, cheeks reddening, "beautiful. And I know you have no reason to believe it, hell I barely believe it, but you're what got me through the- the arena."

Lance knows what he'd been aiming at. He'd been looking for that bit of happiness. He'd caught glimpses of it from Keith's words the night before, from the way he's been constantly touching him, insisting on keeping Lance at his side. And sure, this could all be a product of Lance's heat and their bond, but Lance wants to believe.

Wonders if it even matters where these feelings are coming from, as long as they are there.

"I-" Lance swallows thickly. "I'm so sorry I didn't try harder to get you and Shiro out of the arena. I made a deal with Sendak so that you'd never have to fight each other again after that first time, but I....I should've done more."

Keith's eyes lower and he doesn't look at Lance.

“Right..." he bites his lip and pulls away, his hand moving over a scar on his arm.

"Lance..." Keith swallows and doesn’t meet Lance's eyes. "It happened more than once."

Lance blinks.

"...what," Lance says flatly, thought he'd heard Keith loud and clear. Can tell Keith isn't lying.

Which meant that Sendak had.

"But I did everything he asked," Lance still insists, refusing to believe that he'd been tricked. "I was so scared, but I knew it was worth-"

Lance reaches out and wraps his arms around Keith's shoulders for comfort, burying his nose in Keith's neck.

"I'm so sorry," Lance whispers. "I'm so, so sorry."

Keith flinches as he’s touched, but a moment later his hands wrap around Lance's waist.

“Not your fault,” he mumbles and hugs Lance close. "Wasn't your fault. I'm sorry he lied to you."

Lance doesn't know what to say. Doesn't want to acknowledge Sendak's lie. But Keith had suffered for it. They both had.

So he continues to hold onto Keith, soaking in his scent. Lance frowns as notices that there was something different about it. Keith's scent is a little lighter than it was the day before. There was a sweet tang to it that hadn't been there before.

With a start, Lance realizes that he's scenting himself.

Flushing, Lance pulls away and clears his throat. He looks away, embarrassed. It feels like he'd just stumbled upon something intimate, though now that he thinks about it, Keith's new scent makes sense. They've bonded, and the sweet tang was as clear a claim as the mark Lance had left on Keith's neck.

Lance turns his gaze to Keith's neck and slowly reaches out to brush Keith's hair back and gently press his fingers against the fresh scar. Their eyes meet.

"Can you..." Keith inhales, "tell me a good memory," he asks, reaching out and pressing their foreheads together.

"Something good."

A flurry of memories surface in Lance's mind at the prompt, quite a few of them taking place in Sendak's bed. But not all of them. Lance places his other hand on Keith's hip as he wonders which would be best to share.

"...well, there was that one time Sendak took me on a date," Lance recalls with a fond smile. "We went to a space mall and he knew I was feeling homesick, so he showed me this Earth store and told me I could get anything I wanted. I ended up buying out the entire store," Lance grins. "But the best find was my cat, Azul."

The grin fades at the throb of sorrow in his chest.

"I miss her too. I hope he's feeding her properly. Knowing Sendak, he'll probably give her too much for one meal and then figure it's enough to last the rest of the week."

Keith cautiously pulls Lance to the bed, both of them just sitting on the edge.

"That's... uh, pretty generous of him. I'm... I'm glad he didn't hurt you all the time," he says stiffly, not able to quite meet Lance's eyes.

Lance wraps his arms around himself in a loose hug.

"Yeah, it was," he says quietly and after a beat, falls back onto the bed with a sigh.

"So what now?"

Keith glances at Lance sideways and smiles.

“Uh, Lotor will probably want to bother us,” he says with a sheepish smile. "And um, yeah, I don't really know. This," he motions between them, "was never really part of the plan."

Lance turns on his side and looks up at Keith.

"I'm sorry I forced you into this," Lance says solemnly. "I knew you didn't want to, but I made you do it anyway."

Keith shakes his head.

"No, that's not-" he sighs, "it's not that, Lance. I," he bites his lip. “I just knew you didn't want to do this... Before all that heat shit happened, and I just..." He sighs, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them. "I just didn't want to hurt you,” he states, closing his eyes.

"I think it's fair to say that all of this is pretty fucked up."

Lance silently studies Keith's face. He looks...tired.

"...it sure is," Lance agrees and lifts himself up just far enough to grab onto Keith's shoulders and pull him down onto the bed. Lance doesn't think as he hooks a leg over Keith's hip and rests his head on top of Keith's chest. He just acts.

"Let's go to sleep," Lance decrees, leaving no room for argument.

"Okay,” Keith says quietly and tries to settle onto the pillow. "Um... Sleep well,” he says, meeting Lance's eyes before looking away.

Lance hums in response and closes his eyes, snuggling just a bit closer to make himself comfortable. Keith's warm body and the steady thud of his heart under Lance's ear soothe him.

A reminder than things may be fucked up, but at least they're both alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! We hope you've all had a good week, and if not- well, here's an extra long chapter to help make up for it ;)
> 
> Please let us know your thoughts on this chapter! Reading your comments is the highlight of _our_ week ♡ 


	26. Chapter 26

Hunk looks up when Lance, Keith hovering next to him, step inside the room.

"Hey buddy," Hunk greets with a warm smile. "I hope you're hungry, I might've made a feast,” he says, looking a little sheepish. He motions to the seats near him.

Lance beams at the sight of food and clasps Keith's hand, tugging him towards the table. The prospect of sharing a meal with his team makes him feel warm inside, despite the gaping Vhix-sized hole in his chest. As he sits down next to Hunk and glances at Shiro, who gives him a hesitant smile, Lance briefly wonders what it would be like to sit at a table with Sendak, Vhix and Azul in his lap.

Lance worries his lip and decides to save that pondering for later. For now, there is food and conversation to be had. Keith's warm hand clasping his own on his lap is the last bit of a reassurance Lance needs before reaching out to grab a roll.

"You're a miracle worker, Hunk," Lance says with a sigh after he takes a bite. "Your hands are blessed."

Hunk blushes and waves the compliment off.

"I don't know about that!" He smiles and bumps Lance’s shoulder. He eyes Lance and Keith’s entwined hands, and glances curiously at Keith, who is pointedly not looking at them as he pokes his food with his fork.

"This is new,” Hunk whispers into Lance's ear.

Lance has the decency to blush. He'd been able to get away with his not so discreet displays of affection for Keith up until now, but the cat was more or less out of the bag. Shiro knows about the bonding. Lotor knows about the bonding. There was no reason Hunk and Pidge should be kept in the dark.

"Yeah, uh, I guess we should explain," Lance mumbles and exchanges a brief glance with Keith before clearing his throat.

"So... Keith and I have bonded," Lance says, just loud enough to grab everyone's attention. "That's it, carry on."

Keith stiffens and glances briefly at Shiro, his cheeks red before looking at Pidge and Hunk.

"Oh..." Hunk says quietly. "Um, well, I can't say I understand it all," he admits, "but... As long as you're both okay..."

Hunk clears his throat.

“You're both okay, right?" He asks nervously.

Lance pauses. It's such a simple question. Is he okay?

He doesn't think he can answer that right now. He wants to be okay. Keith deserves for him to be okay. But when Lance opens his mouth to reassure Hunk, the words won't come out.

Keith squeezes his hand.

"We're trying to be.”

Lance shoots Keith a grateful glance and returns the squeeze.

"Yes, trying is a good way to put it," Lance nods. "And, uh, it solved at least one of our problems."

Lance immediately wished he could take his words back when he sees Shiro flinch. His eyes widens and he scrambles to apologize.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Shiro, I didn't mean-"

"No, it's okay," Shiro cuts him off gently, but firmly. "It's true. And I'd like to use this forum to formally apologize for my harmful actions, whatever the reason was. They affected all of you, and as the Black Paladin, I will do my best to win back your trust."

Keith looks up at Shiro and frowns. He clears his throat and exhales.

"I think," he says calmly, "we all are working towards that."

Pidge lets out a puff of air.

"Listen, can we move past the sentimental stuff," she ask with clear discomfort.

Lance, for the first time in a while, agrees with Pidge. He releases Keith's hand and pulls apart the rest of his roll, flattening the bread with his fingers.

"Very well," Shiro says in mild amusement. "Then how about we move on to good news? Hunk tells me there's been a development with your communication with your father, Pidge."

Pidge offers a slow nod.

"We're... We're pretty far from Earth, so transmission takes a bit." She drums her fingers on the table. "But I just got word that Matt and my dad got back to Earth." She manages a smile.

“So... Yeah, that's good." She shifts in her chair. "Once we get communication going we can-" she pauses, "we can start working on what to do to protect Earth."

Lance's face lights up. Finally, good news!

"That's great!" He exclaims and looks around at the other hopeful faces. "Will they tell our families that we're alive?"

Lance's enthusiasm fades as his own words register. They'd been said impulsively, instinctively. He doesn't want his family to think that he's dead, to mourn for him. But as he has no plan to return to Earth, would telling them the truth not be cruel? They'd wonder why he doesn't want to come back home. And if they do manage to retrieve the Lions and form Voltron, they could still be killed. Why instil hope, only for his family to mourn him twice?

Lance bites his lip and reaches again for Keith's hand under the table. Keith looks down at their hand and gently squeezes.

Pidge nods slowly.

"Yeah, I think my dad will try to send messages to us from them. It... It could take a bit, though."

"Until then," Keith speaks up, "we have to keep moving forward.” He glances from Lance to Shiro.

Shiro takes Keith's cue and nods.

"We had a rough start," he says slowly and looks around the table, meeting everyone's gaze before continuing, "but I believe that we're stronger now than we were before. We- we've lost our most important allies," he says softly, and Lance's throat constricts at the memory of Allura and Coran.

"But we will retrieve the Lions and form Voltron, honoring their memory and sacrifice."

Keith nods at Shiro's words.

“And... We'll do whatever we can to retrieve what we've lost,” he adds, glancing at Lance.

Pidge interrupts, “and, most importantly, we're gonna get to Earth to protect it."

Hunk frowns.

“And the other planets," he adds with a nudge of his hand on Pidge's shoulder.

"If we can," Pidge says briskly.

Lance listens to the others quietly. It felt that his team took his cooperation for granted now that he's bonded to Keith, but Lance still isn't so sure he wants to fly Blue and fight the Galra. Fight Sendak.

"I-I understand that saving the universe is important," Lance says slowly, thinking about the arena and the planets under Sendak's command. "And Earth needs to be protected at all costs. But what if- what if forming Voltron will make Zarkon target Earth specifically? Because, y'know, we're all human?"

Everyone is quiet for a moment, and then Pidge exhales.

“Lance, it's not a matter of if, but when." Her words are sharp, precise. "You might have been with... A Commander, but I was working on their plans, their tech. They would have conquered Earth regardless of us intervening."

She looks at Lance with a sympathetic gaze.

"Look, I know what it's like to not want to do this... To just want to," she huffs, "to find your family. But-" she looks at Keith, “we just need you to help us get the Lions, Lance, no one is asking more than that."

Lance frowns, irritated.

"No, you're asking me to be the Blue Paladin and fight the father of my child!" Lance snaps. "It's not like you can just go find another paladin to replace me. Allura told us how the Lions choose the paladin. How do we even know the Lions want us anymore?"

"A paladin is a paladin from the moment their Lion chooses them until their death," Shiro pipes in. "That's what Allura told me. So, yes, you're still the Blue Paladin, Lance."

He catches Lance's gaze and his eyes soften.

"I know this is asking a lot of you, Lance. And I know that you didn't sign up for this. None of us really did," Shiro raises a brow. "But the question you should be asking yourself is what kind of world you want your son to grow up in?"

Keith clears his throat.

"This is all a lot," he admits, "and... We've had time to think this over, Lance hasn't." He looks at Lance. “We want you by our side, but the... The only way that will happen is if you want it, too."

Lance worries his lip. Shiro's words didn't hurt- they were reproachful, yes, but did open Lance's eyes to something he hadn't thought about before. What kind of world does he want Vhix to live in?

Can he live in galaxy ruled by the Galra, who'd never accept a half breed, despite Sendak's reassurances? Can Vhix live in a reality where the Galra are a hated, defeated enemy, forever resembling the enslavers of countless planets?

Lance swallows thickly. What's the point of mulling over something as abstract as Vhix's future when he needs to be focusing on returning his son to his arms?

"You know what? Fine, I'll be the Blue Paladin," Lance raises his chin and meets Shiro's eyes. "On the condition that we get Vhix back first."

If Pidge can barter for her family, so can Lance.

Keith smiles at that.

"I can lead the mission," he says at Shiro's silence, "once we get Lotor get behind it."

Shiro looks between Keith and Lance, obviously conflicted, before sitting back in his seat, resigned.

"That's a fair request to make, Lance. We'll all work towards returning your son to you. I'll speak to Lotor," Shiro looks at Keith. "But we will need an idea to present to him."

Keith nods and looks at Lance.

"We'll do some brainstorming." He says softly before looking at the others. “Is... that okay with you?" He asks Pidge and Hunk.

They nod.

"Of course. Whatever helps my best buddy," Hunk says, smiling at Lance, "is worth doing."

Lance tears up. He never thought putting himself selfishly before the universe would garner so much support and understanding, but maybe he wasn't being as selfish as he thought. If Hunk was okay with it, then his stipulation must not be entirely morally reprehensible.

"Thank you," he says and clears his throat. He's not sure there's much else left to say.

.x.

"And I'm telling you, that won't work,” Keith slams his hand on the table as he glares Lotor down.

They'd been at this for hours.

"It would only be temporary," Lotor states with a contemptuous look. “After all, Sendak will hardly lower his guard with his mate missing."

"And I'm saying that putting Lance at risk is not going to make this process go any smoother,” Keith grits his teeth.

Lance frowns. A part of him has warmed up to Lotor's idea of allowing him to return to Sendak, if only temporarily, to serve as a distraction while Keith and the others retrieved Vhix and Azul. It would allow him a chance to be with Sendak again, if only for a short while.

But Lance shakes his head. He knows better than to believe it would work.

"Sendak will know I've been claimed by someone else," he states. "We can't predict how he'll react to that."

Keith nods in agreement, reaching out and taking Lance's hand, he squeezes gently and looks back at Lotor.

“There has to be another way,” he insists. He looks at Lotor with a frown. "One that doesn't put Lance or his kid in jeopardy."

Lotor flashes Keith an irritable frown.

"I don't hear you making any suggestions, Red Paladin. And no, storming Commander Sendak's ship in a stealth attack without any kind of distraction would be just as disastrous. You can be rest assured that after having his mate kidnapped, he'll be on high alert with anything to do with his child."

Lotor sits back in his chair with a sigh.

"This all could've been averted if you'd simply taken the boy with you like I asked."

Keith flinches.

Lance rubs his thumb over Keith's wrist, a gesture of comfort. While he himself had brought up that point a number of times, Lance knows there wasn't much of a point repeating it again and again. It won't change the past, and Keith is already beating himself up about it.

“We need to establish contact, without putting Lance at risk. Make Sendak come to us,” Keith suggests, and Lance isn’t so sure he agrees.

"But Sendak has soldiers and ships at his command. If we bring him to us, we'll be outnumbered," Lance points out. "And he won't bring Vhix to a battle. Not when he's so young."

“If he was in battle,” Keith says slowly, “who would be watching Vhix?”

Lance tilts his head.

"I...I don't know," he admits. "I was the only one he trusted with him. But Sendak must've gotten Vhix a nanny or something, he can't be with Vhix all the time."

An awful thought crosses Lance's mind and his hold on Keith's hand tightens.

"He wouldn't have gotten one of those awful Galra women from the day-care to watch over Vhix, would he? I made him swear not to ever send Vhix to them!"

Lotor gives Lance a sympathetic look.

"I don't think Commander Sendak had many other options, Lance. There are few childcare services to choose from, and he must want his son to be a warrior like him."

Keith looks at Lance.

“Then that means we can get him.” He looks at Lotor. “Could we fight him and send a team to get Vhix?”

Lotor exchanges a skeptical look with Acxa, who has been a silent, brooding presence at his side since the beginning of their conversation.

"There are only so many battles we can undergo, Red Paladin. Obtaining the Lions is going to be a feat on its own and will require us to fight my father and, most likely, Commander Sendak as well. I doubt we could spare anyone to go and fetch your mate's child."

Keith grits his teeth.

“If you’re so sure it can’t be done, why are you even talking to us about it?”

Lotor raises a brow.

"I suppose I was curious to see if you had any creative ideas. It appears not," Lotor pushes away from the table and turns to look at Lance.

"I'm sorry, Lance, but it doesn't look like we'll be able to retrieve your son at this point. Perhaps it might be best to allow him to remain with his sire."

Lance never liked Lotor. Never will. Especially when he was like this, uncooperative and snarky. Lance opens his mouth, ready to tell Lotor exactly what he thinks about leaving Vhix with Sendak, when Keith stands up and grabs his hand. Lance barely gets the chance to throw Lotor a glare over his shoulder while being dragged out of the room

"I am going to get Vhix," Keith states.

Lance's heart skips a beat when he hears Keith say his son's name. It was the most substantial recognition Keith has given Vhix so far, and Lance knows that Keith isn't a fan of anything related to Sendak. Including his son.

"Whoa, hey, slow down cowboy," Lance stops in the middle of the hallway and pulls on Keith's hand to stop him as well. He shoots Keith a wry smile as he takes a step closer and wraps his arms around his shoulders.

"I know you mean well, but you can't just storm into Sendak's ship and grab Vhix out of his hands. We need a better plan."

Keith shakes his head.

“We don’t have many other options, Lance,” he says looking at Lance before exhaling and averting his gaze.

“If Sendak is occupied with something else, then... Your kid could be easier to get.”

Lance nibbles on his lip for a moment, deliberating, before raising a hand from Keith's shoulder to cup his cheek.

"Vhix means the world to me, and I'd give anything to be with him again. But I refuse to let you risk your life like this. That's my job. He's my son. And I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to you, or the others, while trying to return him to me."

Keith looks at Lance with a frowns.

“And it’s my responsibility to look after you,” he says with a serious expression. “We will get him to you. We will.” He reaches around and squeezes his waist.

Warmth spreads through Lance's chest, fluttery and light. He doesn't know if it's Keith's promise to return Vhix to him, his conviction that it was his job to protect him, or the firm grip around his waist. Probably all three. Whatever it was, it's enough for Lance to reach up and press a chaste kiss to Keith's lips.

"Thank you," he murmurs and hesitates before meeting Keith's gaze. "I think I might have an idea."

Keith pulls back, obviously surprised, and nods.

"Tell me," he says warmly, his hands not leaving Lance's waist.

Lance taps his fingers thoughtfully on Keith's shoulders.

"Well, our problem is that we're outnumbered and that even if we manage to get Vhix back, we risk being chased, and we don’t have the Lions yet. What we need is a plan that doesn't force us to fight Sendak's fleet, or the entire Galra Empire," Lance raises a brow, "and that if we get Vhix, we won't be pursued."

Lance takes a step back.

"If Lotor sends Sendak a message that I'm his prisoner and he'll hurt me if Sendak gets anyone else involved, we could try to convince him to meet us here alone and even bring Vhix with him."

Taking a deep breath, Lance meets Keith's eyes.

"And once he's here...I think I can convince Sendak to let me keep Vhix. He won't want me anymore once he scents me, anyway."

"Okay... But I need to guarantee your safety,” Keith says after a moment of thoughtful contemplation rubbing his hands over Lance's sides. “You only see Sendak if we manage to subdue him?" He suggests.

Lance shakes his head.

"No, it won't work if we do that. He'll feel like we're twisting his arm and never agree. I need to talk to him on equal footing, preferably alone," Lance taps his chin as he thinks. His expression softens as he sees Keith's worry etched so clearly on his face.

"Hey, relax, it's okay. He'd never hurt me."

Lance can see Keith struggling to accept this, but Lance knows that he’d won when Keith’s disproval melts into worry, clearly etched on his brow.

"Okay… So... Yeah, let's talk to Lotor,” he says and steps back, taking Lance’s hand.

Lance beams at Keith and squeezes his hand.

"Awesome. And we'll have to find some rope to tie me up for Lotor's video message. I don't really like handcuffs anymore," Lance wrinkles his nose.

Keith frowns and looks at Lance.

“That's, uh... Sure,” he mumbles and brushes Lance's hair from his face. "How's, uh, how's your acting?" He asks, a poor attempt at a joke.

Lance grins despite himself.

"This might not be common knowledge, but I did have the lead role in my first grade's Christmas play," Lance winks. He would've continued to say that he made a very convincing Mary, but Keith cuts him off.

“Would you go back with him, if you could?" Keith asks, a tremble in his voice.

Damn, Lance wishes he hadn't asked that. Especially not in that voice.

"...Keith," Lance sighs and takes a step closer. "I've been with Sendak for over a year. The only reason I'm not anymore is because you took me away and we bonded. But..."

Lance cups Keith's cheek.

"That question is irrelevant. Because we're going to be together for the rest of our lives, like it or not. There's no point thinking about what could've been. I mean, I could ask you the same thing," Lance raises a brow. "You might've liked me before, but I've changed. A lot. I'm sure you would've preferred choosing someone who isn't disfigured and has a half-Galra kid."

Keith leans into Lance’s touch.

"Doesn't matter," he mumbles and opens his eyes. “Pretty sure we're both too messed up to be with anyone else." He bites his lip again then moves his hand to brush away Lance's hair.

Lance wants to take affront at being called messed up, but as he'd been the first to admit it, he isn't going to pick a fight. No, this wasn't the time for that. This was a great time, however to close his eyes and enjoy Keith's fascination with his hair.

"I... It wasn't fair of me, to tell you that stuff, about," Keith swallows, "how I felt. I know you... Care for Sendak." He sighs. "Sorry, I know it's difficult to talk about."

"No, it's okay," Lance states and reluctantly opens his eyes once Keith's hand stops. "It made me, well... Kinda happy, I guess," Lance offers Keith a shy smile. "At least I know I'm not stuck in a relationship with someone who hates my guts."

Keith offers a smile.

“No, definitely don't hate your guts,” he says softly, "but I'd be surprised who would. You're annoying... But, kinda in a great way? Dunno how to explain it."

Lance rolls his eyes and swings his hand along with Keith's between them as they continue down the hall towards Lotor's chambers.

"Jeez, thanks. I liked you better when you were calling me beautiful."

Keith grins.

“Well, you are, but that's a given,” he replies with only a little flush in his cheeks.

Warmth radiates from face and he bites back a smile.

"Well, that's better. Ten points," Lance decrees.

Keith nudges Lance as they walk.

“There's the annoying I was talking about."

Huffing, Lance returns the nudge and squeezes Keith's hand.

"There's more where that came from," he promises with a smug smile as they turn the corner and stop in front of Lotor's doors.

He hopes Lotor is in a good mood.

.x.

Lance's eyes flash open and he sits up in bed, heart pounding as visions of blood and pain disappear in the dark room.

Those aren't his memories.

Looking down at Keith beside him, Lance can easily guess where the gory images came from. He frowns as Keith's contorted, sweat-drenched face comes into light.

Keith was having a nightmare.

Lance reaches out and roughly shakes Keith's shoulder.

"Keith," Lance says loudly, voice thick with recent sleep. "Keith, wake up!"

Lance gasps as the world turns upside down and he suddenly finds himself pinned against the mattress, looking up at Keith. His eyes glow yellow and his chest rises and falls at an alarming rate before Keith blinks and slams himself against the wall, putting as much distance between them as the bed would allow.

Lance isn't proud of it, but being manhandled like that was quite the adrenaline rush. It reminds him of... Well, of Sendak. But this isn't the time to analyse his body's reactions to roughhousing. Keith is scared and trembling in front of him and every part of Lance is crying out to him to comfort his mate.

Slowly, so as not to spook him, Lance crawls across the bed towards Keith. Once he's situated right in front of Keith, Lance considers his options. Remembering how his scent had calmed Keith down before, Lance decides to try something new. He rubs his wrist against his neck before offering it to Keith to scent.

"Hey," Lance says in his softest voice. "It's okay. You're okay. You're safe."

Keith’s breathing eventually slows as his eyes focus on Lance’s face. He takes a few more shallow breaths before closing his eyes mournfully.

"Did I hurt you?" He asks, his voice rough and shaky.

Lance shakes his head and draws his hand back.

"No, I'm fine," he promises and inches a little closer to throw his arms around Keith's neck, pressing up against him. As if he could take some of Keith's bad memories from him if he just got close enough.

"...did you dream about the arena?" Lance asks quietly, though he knows the answer. What he doesn't know, however, is if Keith was ready to talk about it.

Keith is quiet for a moment, then he nods.

"Yes," he manages. "Yeah, it was the arena."

Lance stays silent for a long moment, contemplating, before pulling back just far enough to look Keith in the eye.

"Do you… Want to talk about it? You don't have to, but I- I want to help you, and I think talking about it will be good for you."

Keith exhales a heavy breath.

“I... I don’t know what to say,” he admits, looking at the end of the bed.

"Okay," Lance takes Keith's hand and laces their fingers together. "How about you start with telling me what happened in your dream."

Keith looks down at their entwined hands and shivers.

“Just... Um, I was in the arena, and I was fighting,” he says slowly, “but they wouldn’t, let me stop.”

He looks at his free hand.

“I... Then I had to fight-“ his breath hitches and he falls quiet.

Lance nods, following the story. His heart pounds in his chest as Keith falters. He isn't sure he wants to hear this. But he needs to.

"And then you had to fight...?" Lance prompts, squeezing Keitht hand.

Keith’s eyes start to water.

“All of you. And they wouldn't let me stop. They kept chanting and demanding. I... And you all-“ Keith swallows, “didn’t stand a chance.” He closes his eyes and exhales what sounds like a sob.

"Oh," Lance says with emotion, biting his lip and pulling Keith forward for another hug. They both needed something to ground them.

"That's awful," Lance murmurs, combing his fingers through Keith's hair. "But it was just a nightmare," Lance states firmly. "It didn't happen, and you're never gonna have to fight anyone you don't want to ever again."

“It just means,” Keith sniffs, “we can’t lose.” He pauses. “I... I don’t know what I am,” he whispers, “or how I could hurt any of you. I just-“ he sighs. “Lance, I don’t want to hurt you.”

Lance pulls back with a frown.

"Keith, I don't think you could seriously hurt me even if you tried. We could ask Lotor, but from what I understood, the main idea of our bond is protection. You protect me, I protect you."

Lance's expression softens.

"And you're Keith. You're exactly who you're meant to be. Too serious, stubborn, and with a heart too big for your own damn good."

Keith’s cheeks redden with embarrassment, but he manages a laugh. He shifts closer to Lance and squeezes his hand.

“You’re uh, pretty good at this comforting shit,” he says, a bit awkwardly. He looks at Lance and leans up and presses a quick kiss to his lips.

“I don’t really talk about the arena, with anyone, really.”

Warmth bubbles in Lance's chest at Keith's kiss. He takes it in stride, however, and focuses on Keith's admission.

"I get it. You don't want to remember it. I wouldn't either," Lance purses his lips. "But... It helps you move on. Or so I've been told."

Lance's lips twist in a small grin.

"If it makes you feel better, maybe you can train all of us. So we won't have to rely just on you and Shiro."

Keith manages a smile at that, then shifts his hand to squeeze Lance’s bicep. “Yeah you’re gonna need it,” he teases kindly. He shifts and slides his arm around Lance.

Lance snorts. "Just you wait, I'm gonna be a natural," Lance flexes his arms with a wide grin before a sobering thought occurs to him.

“I, uh, same to you. If you need to talk, I mean,” Keith says tentatively.

"Thanks. I appreciate it," Lance says quietly and waits for a second before raising his gaze.

"They train their children to be warriors from day one," he says gruffly. "That's why I want Vhix to be with me. He’ll never fit in, but at least he'll have a better childhood. Assuming we win."

The unspoken consequences of losing loom between them.

Keith squeezes Lance shoulder.

“It won’t come to that,” he says, meeting Lance’s eyes. “It won’t.”

Lance swallows thickly and nods.

"You're right. It won't. Because our plan is gonna work," he says resolutely.

It has to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! We hope you enjoyed this week's chapter :) A quick reminder that we update every week on Friday, so if you don't get an alert, check anyway! 
> 
> As always- your comments are what keep us going, so please don't be shy to share your thoughts in the comments! <3 We wish you all a good week. Stay healthy!


	27. Chapter 27

Keith takes Lance's hands and carefully ties them with a piece of rope.

“Is this too tight?" He asks, worry creasing his brow. He reaches out and adjusts the collar of Lance's shirt, hiding the bonding mark from view.

"You can still back out, you know,” he says gently. “No one will judge you."

"Nah, it's fine," Lance grins, an attempt to distract Keith from noticing his sweaty palms. "We should definitely save the rope for later, though."

Keith blinks. His hands stall and a moment later, he snorts.

“Wow, uh, wouldn't have pegged you for that.”

He looks at Lance and smiles, leaning forward and pressing their lips together.

Lance laughs and leans into the kiss. Anything to make him forget, even for a second or two, that he's about to be see Sendak.

Sure, he'll be gagged and bound, but still. This will be his first time seeing Sendak since he left him and Vhix to go on a mission. And it had been nearly two weeks since he’d seen Vhix. The absence felt heavy on his heart.

Lance still can't get the mental image of Sendak returning to their room to find him gone out of his head.

"What kind of things did you think I like?" Lance asks, waggling his brows.

Keith answers his question by shoving his hand in Lance's face, pushing him and his shit-eating grin back.

"Oh, shut up,” Keith grumbles, cheeks rosy.

Lance sticks out his tongue, giving Keith's palm a lick and cackling as Keith yanks his hand away.

"Are you ready, Lance?"

Lance's expression immediately sobers as he turns to look at Lotor. Dressed in his armor, the prince looked every inch a warring prince from one of his niece’s fairytale books.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Lance says evenly and leans forward to peck Keith's cheek.

"Promise not to get angry and jump in? Sendak thinks you're dead, he'll get suspicious if he knows you're here."

Keith grumbles and reluctantly nods.

The screen flares to life and Keith steps away from the camera view as Lance gets into position, settling down on his knees next to Lotor. Hunk steps up and stuffs the gag into his mouth, giving the scene a finishing touch.

And then they wait.

Lance's heart skips a beat as Sendak's face suddenly appears on the large screen.

"Commander Sendak," Lotor greets him coldly. "I believe I have something of yours."

Lance meets Sendak's eyes through the screen, and he doesn't have to fake the wide, alarmed eyes. His hearts beats loudly in his chest.

Sendak.

He looks... Rougher than before. Fierce. He reminds Lance of the way he'd been when they’d first met, when Sendak had been hell-bent on breaking him.

Sendak’s eyes narrow and he growls.

"Return my property,” he demands, turning to look at Lotor.

Lance is grateful for the gag in his mouth, preventing him from scowling at Sendak's choice of words. Typical. Apparently their agreement to treat each other as mates doesn't extend outside their chambers.

But as much as Lance dislikes it, he can understand why Sendak insists on it. He has an image to maintain.

"In due time," Lotor states, unfazed by Sendak's glare. "It has come to my attention that you are in possession of the Luqiad medallion. I will consider it a fair trade."

"Fair?" Sendak spits. "You take what is mine and presume a trade is the simple solution? I will find you and your ship and burn it down,” he swears, fists clenched and expression cold.

Lotor sighs, unimpressed.

"Violent as always, I see. Very well, I shall explain the situation to you in a language you understand," he sniffs and leans down. Lance's eyes widen as he's suddenly grabbed by the neck.

They'd discussed that some roughness might be necessary to get the message across, but fuck, Lotor's grip was bruising. Lance chokes and tries to break away so as to stay in character, but Lotor wasn't about to let him go.

Lance looks back up at Sendak, eyes pleading.

"Should I feel even the slightest bit threatened, I will not hesitate to crush the human's windpipe. He's so very fragile," Lotor clicks his tongue.

"If you desire the human returned to you alive, you will meet me alone, without your soldiers. Oh," Lotor raises a brow, "and if you involve my father in any way, I will see to it that your human is returned to you."

Lotor's grin sends a chill up Lance's spine.

"Limb by limb."

Sendak's eyes narrow even further and he grips something in his hand, the cracking sound audible from the video.

"Release him and we have a deal,” he scowls, a touch of panic lacing his words.

Lotor's grip on Lance’s throat lasts a second too long as far as Lance is concerned, but he dutifully releases him, leaving Lance to fall to the floor. Lance pants, finding it difficult to catch his breath with a gag in his mouth, but he'll manage. It was all part of the plan, after all.

He won't deny that his heart did a little summersault when Sendak agreed to Lotor's deal so quickly. It was proof that he means more to Sendak than anyone on the ship was willing to believe.

"I'm glad we were able to reach an agreement," Lotor says dryly. "Now, for the logistics, we will do the exchange on Belugash in three quintents from now. I will send you the exact coordinates the day of the exchange. We will both go alone, with no backup."

Lotor pauses for a moment to allow the information to sink in.

"In order to prove the absence of armed forces, I will bring my mate, Acxa, with me. I expect you to bring someone important to you as well. You have a son, I believe?"

"You must think me a fool that I would put my child at risk,” Sendak snarls. His eyes flit to Lance.

Lance's pulse thuds heavily in his ears. He's torn. On the one hand, he's happy knowing that Sendak is being a good father, protecting their son. But on the other hand, Lance needs him to agree if he's to have any chance of ever seeing Vhix again.

Lotor raises a brow.

"I do not harm children, Commander Sendak. I simply require his presence as a sign of trust, or else this transaction cannot take place."

Sendak grits his teeth.

“You have harmed my mate. Why should I believe you will not harm my child?” He demands, practically spitting the words.

Lotor looks down at Lance before returning his gaze to Sendak.

"Your mate is not a child, and I have yet to harm him severely," Lotor waves his hand dismissively. "Are you doubting your ability to keep your son safe in your presence?"

Sendak bristles and slams his hands on the command stand.

“If you believe insult will get me to acquiesce, you have another thing coming,” he declares. “Propose something else or I shall ensure this trade will fail for you.”

Lotor frowns.

"These are my terms, Commander Sendak. It is not my wish to fight you. I simply require the medallion and I need to know that I can trust you."

Sendak gives Lotor a long look.

“Fine, but on the condition that my child is far from harm,” he amends, his eyes catching Lance’s once more.

Lotor's eyes widen a fraction with surprise, but he quickly schools his features.

"Of course, he will not leave your side," Lotor promises and gives Sendak a curt nod. "You will be sent the coordinates."

Lance's breath catches in his throat. He can't believe Sendak said yes. It was a testament to how much he loves him.

The screen disappears, yet Lance continues to stare at the empty space, overwhelmed with so many emotions, not only his own.

Keith slips out from where he was hidden and runs to Lance. He kneels besides him and pulls the gag out of his mouth.

“Are you hurt?” He asks, his voice strained.

Lance shakes his head and coughs, clearing his throat.

"I'm okay," he says, voice still a little scratchy. He looks up at Lotor.

"Thank you."

Lotor gives him a long look before nodding.

"You're welcome. I apologize for the show of force, but it was necessary.”

Keith frowns and unties Lance’s wrists, gently pulling him to his feet.

“C’mon,” he says, “we can... Uh, maybe you should lie down,” he suggests.

Lance takes Keith's hand and shakes his head.

"No, I'm good, I don't need to rest,” he insists. He wonders how fragile Keith thinks he is. Compared to Sendak and Lotor, Lance is probably as threatening as a ragdoll. But he'd like to think that he's somewhat Keith's equal. More or less. Potentially so, at least.

They're both human, after all.

Keith exhales but doesn't press the issue.

"At least," he lifts his hand to motion to Lance's neck, "maybe there's a salve in the medbay."

Lance supposes there wouldn't be any harm in finding something for his throat. He nods and allows Keith to pull him away from Lotor and down the hall.

"Um... You did good,” Keith says, breaking the silence.

"I didn't do much," Lance shrugs. "But thanks for not rushing in when Lotor was choking me. I know it was difficult for you."

Keith audibly swallows.

“It was,” he admits. “But, uh, I wanted to trust you’d be okay.” He cautiously laces their fingers together.

Lance beams and squeezes Keith's hand.

"I'm glad you trust me," he says softly and tugs Keith into the empty medbay. "I trust you too."

Lance releases Keith’s hand and takes a step back, pushing himself up onto the examination table as Keith walks around, trying to find something to help. Lance could theoretically help him, he’s been in here before, but he likes seeing Keith fumble. It's cute.

Besides, the guy probably needed an ego boost, and taking care of his mate should do the trick. Lance can't count the number of times he played dumb or pretended to be too weak to climb out of bed on his own when Sendak was in a sour mood. It always helped him feel better about himself.

Keith squints at a bottle and unscrews the top. He dips his fingers into the concoction and, apparently satisfied with his finding, Keith approaches Lance on the table.

"Um, may I?" He asks slowly, meeting Lance's eyes and motioning to his neck.

Lance hums and tilts his head to the side in open invitation. He could easily do it himself, but where was the fun in that?

Keith dips his fingers in the substance again and delicately presses it upon the bruises forming on Lance's neck.

"This okay?" He asks after a moment.

Lance sucks in his breath as Keith's fingers graze his neck. Fuck, it hurt a lot more than he thought it would. But the salve soothes his skin after a moment or two and it is certainly worth the momentary pain.

"Yeah," Lance confirms with a grimacing smile.

Keith pauses. He sets the bottle down and reaches out to smooth the substance across Lance's neck.

"You can still back out,” he says, though they both know that's a lie. "If you don't... It's okay if you don't want to do this, you know."

Reaching up, Lance wraps his fingers around Keith's wrist, forcing him to stop.

"I want to do this, Keith," Lance says as he meets Keith's eyes. "This is my only chance to get my son back. And now that Sendak knows where I am, he'll be here, like it or not."

His expression softens as he releases Keith's wrist.

"You don't have to come to the exchange. Actually, it's probably better if you don't. He'll be really angry once he realizes what happened."

Keith looks at Lance and shakes his head.

“No, I have to be, I... We don't know who he will take that anger out on and I won't ever let that be you,” he says softly, his eyes fixed on Lance's.

Lance gives Keith a long look.

"Come to think of it, you _really_ shouldn't be there. He won't attack me. I know he won't. Maybe he'll lash out at Lotor and Acxa, but they can hold their own and honestly... I don't care about them the same way I care about you," Lance says in a low voice, reaching out to tuck a strand of wavy black hair behind Keith's ear.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

Keith looks at Lance and frowns.

“Don't ask me to not be there, Lance, I-" he looks at the floor, and then back at Lance. "I want to be able to protect you... Get you away. I don't want you to be alone."

His voice is barely over a whisper.

"I thought this was what," he lifts his hands and lets them drop, "isn't that what being an alpha is? Protecting my ome-" he flinches, "protecting you."

Lance flushes.

"I mean, sure, but screw what you're supposed to do. You didn't ask for this. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you on a mission that's really just focused on me and on what I want. It's not like it's saving the universe or anything."

Keith frowns. He shuts his eyes and exhales slowly.

"I want to be there with you,” he says, opening his eyes and looking at Lance. "I want to support you."

He bites his lip when he sees Lance's expression.

"At this point, I'm pretty sure you're the only thing that matters,” he whispers. “To me, at least."

Lance is fairly certain his heart had melted, right then and there. Who said things like that? How is he supposed to react? Because Lance knows Keith is being painfully honest. And vulnerable.

It makes Lance want to kiss him.

So he does.

Keith leans into the kiss and his arms slide around Lance before pulling away with a smile.

“And after you, I guess the universe counts for something,” Keith’s laugh is weak, but his arms are secure around Lance’s waist.

Lance snorts and gives Keith's shoulder a light slap.

"Looks like you've got your priorities straight," he huffs before tilting his head and leaning forward for another kiss, twisting his fingers into Keith's hair.

Keith slips his hands under Lance, lifting him up into his arms as they kiss.

Lance wraps his legs around Keith's middle, though he doubts Keith needs his help. It looks like Keith is very much capable of carrying his weight and fuck, if that doesn't get him hot under the collar.

"I guess," he says as they pull away, "I do now." He smiles and bridges the gap once more.

Lance pulls away from Keith's lips to catch his breath.

"So tell me," Lance drawls and raises a brow with a smirk, "have you ever played doctor?"

Keith snorts then looks at Lance with a raised brow.

"You aren't serious, are you?" He asks, his arms firmly holding Lance up. He sees the smirk on Lance’s face and chuckles, pressing their lips together.

Lance laughs against Keith's lips and pulls back to give him a look.

"No," he admits, "but you should've seen your face!"

Pinching Keith's cheek with a grin, Lance proceeds to smooth the reddened skin with his thumb and then use it to trace Keith's lower lip.

"I wouldn't mind moving this back to our room, though."

Keith looks at Lance with a sceptical expression. He lowers Lance slowly, brushing Lance’s hair from his eyes.

“You sure about that?”

Lance pouts as he's lowered down to his feet. Why can't Keith go with the flow. Can't he tell that Lance needs this? Needs to be reminded who he belongs to, after being confronted with Sendak's worried eyes?

Lance has to move on. He has no choice. He's just lucky Keith is a good man who's handsome to boot. He might not love Keith yet, but with enough time, Lance thinks he will.

But how can he say that to someone who just told him he's the only thing that matters?

"I want to be intimate with you," Lance clarifies, raising his head high. "And you're my mate. I'm sure."

Keith's cheeks redden and his arms squeeze around Lance’s middle. He clears his throat and nods.

"Okay,” he says.

Lance smiles, satisfied, as Keith concedes and takes his hand. The firm hand on his back is a delicious reminder of the strength hidden in Keith's arms.

"Um, your place or mine?" Keith asks, his eyes flitting to Lance, then at the floor, as his discomfort only grows.

"Our room," Lance repeats and raises a brow. "You don't have your own room anymore, sorry."

Keith smiles at that.

“Yeah... Our room.”

.x.

Though he'd initiated it, Lance finds himself looking down at Keith with a hesitant frown. They're both stripped down to the waist and Lance can feel Keith's cock hard and aching beneath him.

But Lance isn't so sure if he's ready to take off his pants.

"I know you said it was fine," Lance argues, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, "but you were- you were heat drunk," Lance states, deciding that was the best name for it. "You would've said anything to get it on."

Now that they're both more or less clear headed, Lance is absolutely certain that Keith is going to take one good look between his legs and run for the hills. Who wouldn't?

Keith is quiet for a moment, his hands gently pressed against Lance’s back.

“Listen, what... What Sendak did to you is wrong. It was cruel.”

He swallows and tucks his fingers in Lance’s waistband.

“But, you, all of you- I accept it. It matters,” Keith exhales. “You’re beautiful.”

Lance feels the heat stain his cheeks. He doesn't think he'll ever get enough of Keith complimenting him. It was such a change from their usual banter.

"I don't know why he did it," he says quietly. It's difficult admitting to Keith that Sendak wasn't absolutely perfect, but he can't lie about this. Not to himself, not to Keith. "I mean, it doesn't serve any purpose. He just... Wanted me this way."

Tears blur Lance's vision and he blinks them away. It was easy to ignore the changes to his body when he was with the person who designed them. With someone whose body was so different from his own. But shifting his weight so as to grind down against Keith, Lance can't help but feel a different kind of heat.

Jealousy.

Keith pushes up and presses their foreheads together.

“It was cruel,” he repeats. “But we will make it work, right?” He asks, his voice a little unsure.

Lance bites his lip and meets Keith's eyes. So close. So... Vulnerable. Again. Lance doesn't know what to do with Keith's vulnerability. He can't tease him when he's like this. Can't even hold a grudge against him.

"...yeah. I guess," Lance concedes with a small, reassuring smile. He rolls his hips into Keith's hands, encouraging him to pull at his waistband.

Keith obliges, pulling Lance’s clothes the rest of the way off. He inhales sharply at the sight, but curves his hand against Lance’s cheek, pressing kisses to his skin.

Lance doesn't miss Keith's reaction and he flinches, but Keith is quick to soothe his doubts with kiss after kiss to his face, neck, shoulders- Lance has lost track. Somehow he finds himself on his back with Keith nibbling at his mark and fuck, Lance swears there's fire in his veins.

He whines, dragging sharp nails down Keith's scarred back.

Keith continues to pepper his body with kisses. Then he pauses, meeting Lance’s eyes before taking his length into his mouth.

Lance sucks in his breath and arches his back, fighting his initial reaction to push Keith away. His other, more primal side is very happy with Keith's mouth on him and if he's honest, he needs to let this happen. To allow Keith to touch him like this.

So Lance clutches the sheets over his head and closes his eyes, trying to forget that they're on Lotor's ship with all of their problems and insecurities. He tries to imagine himself in his dorm room back at the Garrison. How it would've felt to sneak Keith in while Hunk is out. The thrill of being at the center of Keith Kogane's attention, top of his class.

Opening his eyes, Lance's strained expression softens. He thinks he likes this Keith better.

Keith rests a hand against Lance's stomach, his hand brushing over his skin as he works Lance's length with his mouth.

Lance debates if he wants to pull away before Keith pushes him over the edge, but he decides to let it happen. His body shudders and he tips his head back, crying out as Keith helps him ride the wave of pleasure. When it's over, Lance pushes himself up just enough to grab onto Keith before falling back onto the mattress with a thud, Keith pressed securely on top of him, weighing Lance down.

"That was good," Lance hums, still a bit breathless. He nuzzles Keith's neck and runs his tongue over the mark he'd left, pride blossoming in his chest. Keith shivers and lets out a laugh, giddy and happy. He twists them so they are both on their sides before pulling Lance into a kiss deep with the longing.

Lance thinks he can spend forever like this, pressed up against Keith on the bed and kissing him, slow and deliberate, his own taste on his tongue. His hand slips between their bodies to cup and squeeze Keith through the fabric of his pants.

"Tell me what you want," Lance murmurs against Keith's lips.

"U-uh," Keith stammers, then exhales shakily. "I," he struggles to find the words as he looks into Lance's eyes, "I want you. Touch me,” he says in a weak attempt of a command.

One day, Lance will challenge Keith. Have him work for it. Force him into submission. But today isn't about dominance. It's about trust and mushy feelings and Lance just can't get over how cute Keith is being.

He wants to indulge him.

"Sure thing, alpha," Lance says with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. He delves his hand into Keith's pants and pulls him out, hot and hard.

"So big," Lance praises as he flicks his wrist, working his hand leisurely over Keith's cock.

Keith's cheeks bloom red again and he gently shoves Lance's shoulder. He shivers as Lance touches him and his eyes slip shut. He opens his eyes as Lance squeezes him and reaches out to tug on the strands of Lance's hair.

Keith pulls Lance into a kiss, rocking his hips into Lance's palm.

Lance easily accepts the kiss, hand never stopping its stroking. He relishes the feel of Keith's fingers tangled in his hair and when they pull away from the kiss, he latches onto a spot under Keith's ear, sucking on the soft skin as he increases his pace.

Keith grunts at the shift in pace and after a few more strokes, he releases in Lance's palm.

"Fuck,” he hisses, ducking his head against Lance's neck and mouthing against his own mark on Lance's neck.

Lance shivers as he nurses Keith through his high. With the way Keith is mouthing at his neck, it feels almost as if he's the one cumming. Once Keith is spent in his hand Lance releases him and wipes his hand on Keith’s pants. Better the pants than the sheets they're going to spend the rest of the night on.

Lance is taken aback as he's suddenly flipped onto his back and his thighs are parted. Keith's expression is clear as day, hair fanning his dark eyes, but Lance cannot fathom it.

"Are you kidding me?" He asks, though the mere notion of a second round is enough to make him embarrassingly wet. "You just came!"

Keith lifts a brow and smiles warmly.

“Then I guess we have some work to do,” he teases and kisses Lance's lips, short and quick, before trailing down Lance's neck and stomach.

Lance shakes his head, bemused. Keith's lips tickle as they trail down his stomach and Lance's laugh is cut off by a moan as Keith latches onto skin.

He continues to revel in Keith’s mouth on his hips and thighs before Lance realizes that there’s something wrong. He feels a pang of sorrow in his chest that has no business being there when he feels so good. He looks at Keith searchingly before propping himself up on his arms.

"Hey," he says softly, reaching out to cup Keith's cheek. "You okay?"

Keith's eyes look up from his body, refocusing.

“Hmm?" He hums, pulling away. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he says quickly.

Giving Keith a long look, Lance spreads his legs a little wider and pulls Keith back down against him.

"You know I'm yours, right?" Lance says seriously, parting the curtain of Keith's bangs to look him in the eyes. "I'm not going to leave you. I-"

Lance's face feels warm, but he soldiers on.

"I'm proud to call you my alpha."

Keith’s face burns a bright red, and he looks down at Lance with a shaky smile. In lieu of an answer, Keith leans in and kisses him.

The relief Lance feels flooding in his chest is a sign that his guess had been correct. He'd been self-conscious before. It made sense for Keith to feel the same, and since his bod is practically perfect, scars and all, Sendak is the only other element in their relationship that Lance knows Keith is worried about.

He can't use the L word yet, but he's willing to give Keith everything else.

Lance sinks into the kiss and hooks a leg over Keith's hip, grinding up against him in a silent request.

As Keith pulls away from the kiss with a laugh, Lance is struck by how handsome Keith really is. There's a scar on his cheek that hadn't been there when they'd first met, as well as countless others along Keith's body. Testament to the horrors he faced in the arena, but also to his strength. His bravery.

And to contrast that roughness with such a wide, genuine smile... Jeez. Lance never stood a chance, did he? He knows, deep in his bones, that it's only a matter of time before he'll be ready to give everything he has to this man. Risk it all to make Keith happy.

It's a different feeling than what Lance has with Sendak. He can't put his finger on it.

"Come on," Lance whines, a tad breathless from Keith's nibbling on his neck. "You're the one who wanted a second round! Get on with the program!"

“Not my fault you're distracting,” Keith retorts and nuzzles his nose against Lance's cheek.

"Keith!" Lance huffs, but he's having a difficult time biting back his smile. He must've been convincing enough, though, because Keith finally gives in after giving him one final kiss. What a sap. Everybody else would be lining up to fuck Lance, and here is Keith, acting as if he was doing him a-

_Oh_ _._

Lance gasps as Keith presses between his thighs and slides in. He clenches down instinctively, but all it does is make Lance feel even more and fuck, Keith is so hot, Lance cannot fathom how anyone can live like that, maybe Keith is running a fever?

Lance catalogues the thought away as Keith starts to move. He can't really think of anything else.

Keith grunts and rolls his hips, setting a steady pace.

Lance doesn't even try to keep quiet. Keith deserves to hear every sound he punches out of him, thrust by thrust. The bastard. Looking all cool and collected above him while Lance is moaning like a bitch in heat.

....well, maybe not exactly. He was a lot noisier during his heat. But still.

"Harder," Lance prompts, gathering enough energy to twist his lips into a wicked smile. "I can't, ngh, can't feel a thing."

Keith frowns and leans down, nipping at Lance's chin.

"Liar," he whispers into his ear but obliges, shifting Lance's legs up. He slows his pace, focusing more on deepening his thrusts with every pleading whine Lance echoes.

Lance's eyes widen and he might've let out a yelp as his legs are suddenly up in the air and fuck, Keith is so much deeper than he's ever been. His movements are slower, though, and more deliberate. And as much as Lance's world rocks with every thrust, it's a slow, pleasurable torture.

"Faster," Lance wishes he could sound teasing, but it's a genuine request. He flings an arm over his eyes, frustrated.

Keith reaches out and brushes his hair from Lance's forehead.

"Okay," he says gently, sweat dripping down his body as he increases his pace.

He turns his head and kisses Lance's thighs, biting gently at the soft skin.

There. Finally. Lance is going to have to train Keith, make him realize that he's no stranger to manhandling. He's not some fragile, porcelain doll. He'd shared a bed with Sendak, after all.

So maybe Keith still isn't going as hard or as fast as Lance knows he's capable of, but it's enough to sate him. The bite on his thigh pushes him over the edge with a cry.

Keith grunts and shifts his hand to Lance's length, pressing his palm against it. He thrusts deeper, angling Lance in a way that really shows off Lance’s flexibility.

“Fuck,” Keith whispers and continues with his punishing pace.

Lance whimpers, Keith's hand on his oversensitive length bordering on pain. But Keith continues to thrust, releasing Lance in favor of grabbing both of his thighs in a bruising grip. Lance leans back against the bed as much as Keith allows him, watching Keith's face with rapt attention as Keith finds his pleasure inside him.

Lance's eyes flutter shut as Keith releases inside him, hot and wet. Logically, he should be grossed out by it, but Lance has long gotten used to the pleasure he finds in the feeling. It feels like another claim. Another mark. A sign that Keith chose him.

Opening his eyes, Lance offers Keith a lazy smile.

"I knew you had it in you," he's back to teasing, running his hands over Keith's straining arms.

Keith huffs and lowers himself down, his arms decidedly wrapping around Lance in a possessive manner.

"Mm, you doubted me?" He hums with a note of weariness. He turns them on their sides, his arms situated around Lance's waist as he presses up behind him, kissing behind his ear, their bodies still warm.

Lance smiles, wide and silly. With Keith's arms around him, he feels safe. Safe and... Loved.

"I don't now," he says cheerfully, reaching back to give Keith's thigh a teasing squeeze. "You've got some serious horsepower going on there."

Keith manages a snort and shakes his head with his nose buried against Lance's neck.

“Thanks?" He mumbles.

Lance hums and closes his eyes, basking in the warmth surrounding him and their combined scent still lingering in the room.

His worries fade away, one by one, as he's lulled into deep, restful sleep by the steady rise and fall of Keith's chest, plastered to his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! We hope you're all keeping safe and healthy during these trying times. 
> 
> We do have a small update regarding subscription alerts- apparently, works in the 'anonymous' collection do not send out email notifications when a story is updated. That's news to us! As we don't plan on removing the story from the collection quite yet, we hope you continue to check in every week on Friday.


	28. Chapter 28

Lance follows Keith to the training deck, humming at the thought of finally getting to fight again after going so long without so much as kicking someone. He certainly has enough pent up energy to release, and with so much uncertainty in the air, it'll be good to take his mind off Sendak for an hour.

And, Lance hopes, this training session will make Keith feel better about their plan.

If all goes well, Keith won't have to worry so much about Lance meeting Sendak, face to face. Not that he ever had a reason to worry- despite everything, Lance is absolutely certain Sendak won't hurt him. But if training eases Keith's mind, then why not?

Arriving at the deck, Lance releases Keith's hand and walks around, surveying the room curiously. He'd peeked inside before to watch Keith and Shiro, but he hadn't paid much attention to the room itself. There was all manor of weaponry hanging on the walls. Lance can identify the usage of most of them, but there are some weapons that Lance stares at, perplexed.

"What the hell is that?" Lance asks, pointing at a thick, metallic object the length of his forearm.

Keith tilts his head.

"Uh," he pauses, "I think it's a Draxiorian bomb. Kinda like a sound pulse, I think."

Lance frowns, giving the Draxiorian bomb one last look before following Keith to the opposite wall, where he picks out a sword with such familiarity, he must’ve used it before.

"We, um, we never really got a chance to hone our skills back when-" Keith exhales, "before, so... Pick what interests you."

Lance looks up at the wall, considering. He's never touched a sword, much the less fought with one before. He picks a blade up, and its weight is awkward in his palm.

As he turns to return it, Lance's eye is caught by what looked like a rifle. He places the sword back in its place and walks over to the opposite wall, carefully pulling the rifle down. He's never held one of these before, either, but somehow the weight on his shoulder feels a lot more natural.

"I like this," Lance declares and steps back to show it off to Keith. He eyes Keith's sword and grins. "But I can't bring a gun into a swordfight, can I?"

Keith meets his eyes and lifts a brow.

“I'm more than capable of handling whatever you give me,” he says with a lift of his chin.

Lance laughs and places the rifle back on the wall.

"I'm not gonna try to shoot you," Lance admonishes. "Not without good aim. I could accidentally hurt you."

Keith chuckles and for a moment, looks like he’s about to say something, but he apparently thinks better of it and turns to the swords.

"How about you try that one?" He suggests, pointing at a thin, lightweight blade.

Lance walks back to the blades and picks up the one Keith had suggested. It doesn't feel as natural as the rifle, but it doesn't feel as heavy and awkward as the large sword he'd picked up before. He gives it a few experimental swipes, feeling a little silly, and looks up at Keith.

"I like it better than the first one," Lance agrees. "So, what do I do with it?"

Keith smiles and nods. He walks towards Lance, taking his blade, and lifts it up to meet his own.

"I'm going to teach you how to predict my movements.”

Lance nods, pressing his blade against Keith's. Keith moves almost annoyingly slow, but it gives Lance ample time to notice the rise and fall of Keith's arms and shoulders, of the way he twists this way and that before aiming a blow.

After about twenty minutes of blocking, Lance's confidence grows and his brow, furrowed in concentration, smoothens. He grins and blocks another blow.

"Where did you learn how to fight?" Lance asks conversationally. "You took down those guys from the Garrison when you swooped in to save Shiro, so it was before the arena, right?"

Keith nods and quickens his movements.

"A little bit from everywhere,” he replies before clearing his throat. "My dad taught me basic defense when I was a kid, and I had to sorta fend for myself in the foster home."

He starts to move forward, forcing Lance to block him or step back.

"And Shiro, he taught me a little bit. But it was mostly, just, teaching myself," he says as their swords hit.

Lance hums his understanding, too focused on Keith's movements and blocking them in order to meet Keith's eyes and nod.

"That's pretty cool," Lance says, dodging a stab aimed at his shoulder. "I fought sometimes with my brothers and sisters, but my parents usually intervened before it got serious. I wish I'd learned before... Before all this," Lance adds and frowns.

Before he can elaborate, however, Lance stumbles just as Keith aims his blade at his arm. Lance's eyes widen and he winces, ready to feel pain, but it doesn't come.

His relief, however, is short lived. Keith drops his sword with a pained hiss long before the blow lands.

Lance knows that Keith would do anything not to hurt him, he's told him as much, but the way Keith had dropped the sword was... It didn't look voluntary. And the pain doesn't make sense.

"Keith," Lance drops his blade as well and rushes towards his alpha, heart pounding with adrenaline. He places a worried hand on Keith's shoulder.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Keith exhales and flexes his fingers.

"I'm fine," he says gruffly after a moment. He extends his hand and places it over Lance's. "Just, I must've pulled something,” he reasons with a frown and then insists, “don’t worry.”

Lance mirrors Keith's frown, not entirely convinced. Keith would never just 'pull something' during a duel. And even if he did, he'd ignore the pain. The timing was suspicious as well.

"We should stop. Maybe go to the medbay and get your arm checked out," Lance thinks out loud and worries his lip. He doesn't know why this is freaking him out so much, but there was just something so unnatural about the way Keith had dropped his sword. It unnerves him.

Keith shakes his head.

“No, it's fine, Lance, I don't... It doesn't need to be looked at. I'm fine. Really." He pauses. “We can pick this up later, though," he agrees and shifts his hand to Lance's waist.

Lance gives Keith a dubious look, intent on arguing his case, but he pauses at Keith's expression and sighs. Maybe they'll look into it later. Or maybe it'll never happen again.

"Fine," Lance grumbles and reaches out to cup Keith's chin, brushing his thumb over Keith's cheek. His expression brightens and he gives Keith a teasing grin.

"I did well, though, didn't I?"

Keith's eyes soften.

"Yeah, Lance, you weren't half bad,” he says fondly. "We'll keep working on it."

Lance beams, satisfied with Keith's praise. He knows Keith was going easy on him, but Lance would like to think that he could hold his own against another beginner warrior. Maybe someone like Xavid.

The thought makes him snort and lean his head on Keith's chest, closing his eyes as he inhales his soothing scent. The last of his worry leaves his body as he relaxes.

Keith is right there, next to him, unharmed. Whatever happened must've been a fluke- a lucky one, at that. Lance has the feeling Keith would never touch him again if he accidentally hurt him, and that would never do.

Keith lifts his hand and places it on Lance's head, combing through his hair.

“Hey, you okay?" He asks. "This... This thing with Sendak, are you-" he exhales, "you okay?" He repeats softly.

Lance's shoulders stiffen at the mention of Sendak and he carefully pulls away, despite the way he’d enjoyed Keith's fingers in his hair.

"...I don't know," Lance says quietly. "I don't know what I'm going to say to him. I keep thinking about it, but nothing- nothing sounds right," Lance grits his teeth and digs his nails into his palms. "I don't know how I'm going to convince him to give me Vhix."

Keith sighs and shifts his hands to Lance's sides.

"You know him better than any of us," he points out. “If there's a way to argue for your son, then, you'll find a way."

He shifts a hand to take Lance's chin.

“But we're going to support you regardless,” he promises, their eyes meeting.

Lance wants to argue that there might just not be a way to convince Sendak to hand their son over to him, that it was stupid to even hope for it, but as he meets Keith's gaze, Lance can't bring himself to say so.

His friends are willing to risk their lives to give him this opportunity. He has to believe that there's hope.

"Okay," Lance says and forces a smile.

Keith smiles back and lets go of his chin.

"Come on, let's get cleaned up," he says slowly, offering his hand.

Lance nods and takes it, allowing Keith to lead them out of the training deck.

.x.

"Remember," Lotor starts, walking around the seated group with a set expression, "if we are to reunite Voltron, you need to open yourselves to each other. This means sharing the good with the bad. This is the only way we will succeed."

He motions to the devices in their hands.

“Now place these upon your heads," he prompts.

Lance looks down at the device and runs his fingers over the cold metal. He doesn't know why Lotor is pushing a team bonding activity on them right now. They should be focusing on their meeting with Sendak. But Lance did promise to cooperate and be the Blue Paladin again. So if Lotor wants team Voltron to bond... Well.

Here goes nothing.

Lance exchanges a glance with Hunk, who looks a little pale, and raises his hands to place the device on his head. He closes his eyes and tries to focus. The last time they did this exercise, his first thought had been about his family. They hadn't even had the chance to peer into each other's minds before Pidge broke the connection.

"Alright," Lotor's smooth voice breaks the silence. "Let us begin with something simple to ease you into this exercise. Please think of a good memory. Ideally, something recent that's still fresh in your minds."

Lance's first thought is Keith in their bed, a firm weight on top of him as Keith mouths at his mark on Lance's neck. Lance immediately opens his eyes, embarrassed, and closes his eyes again, furiously focusing on Hunk's cookies instead. He can still taste their sugary goodness on his tongue from last night's dinner.

"Maintain this thought, keep your minds open to seeing these thoughts,” Lotor’s voice pierced the silence.

Lance continues to think about Hunk's cookies, focuses on them, and keeps the image and taste in his mind. He opens his eyes for a moment, curious to see what his friends are thinking about, and is drawn to Shiro's screen. There is an unfamiliar man on his screen- dark, with glasses, and a ring that shines on his finger.

It didn't look like a recent memory, and the edges were blurry, but the man's happy face was bright and vivid. Lance wonders who he is.

Lotor clears his throat.

“Open your minds to each other," he instructs. “The only way for you to bond is to share your vulnerabilities with each other."

Lance closes his eyes again, chastened by Lotor's raised brow as he walks past him, and tries to focus on his memory. Lotor's wording, however, triggers other memories that start to surface. There was nothing vulnerable about Hunk's cookies. There was plenty of vulnerability about his conversation with Hunk all that time ago, when he confessed that Sendak wanted to fuck him. And Hunk had advised him to let it happen.

Lance's eyes flash open, displeased at the uncalled memory, and catches Hunk's flinch. Lance immediately feels a stab of guilt in his chest. Had Hunk seen his memory? Had any of the others? He hadn't meant to think about it. He'd just been thinking about Hunk. And vulnerability.

Biting his lip, Lance closes his eyes and tries to think about something entirely unrelated.

"Remember, being vulnerable with each other also means sharing unpleasant moments. You will be stronger for it."

Lance's mind wanders at Lotor's prompt, flitting from one unpleasant memory to another. There are some memories that surface from his past, such as the day he received the notice that he'd be in the cargo pilot class rather than the fighter pilot class he'd been aiming for, but most of his memories are recent.

As happy as Lance had seen himself with Sendak, there was an alarming amount of bad memories that Lance had never thought to revisit. He remembers kneeling in front of Zarkon, informed that he has no other use other than to be made an example of. He thinks of the displays Sendak had taken him to, how each one turned into a disaster. He thinks of the hours he spent on his knees in the Bad Place, the hours he spent on his knees banging and screaming at the door to be let out of his and Sendak's room.

But the memory that sticks and forces itself to replay in Lance's mind is the memory of a stranger's hands on him, violating him, while Sendak silently watches.

Tears well in Lance's closed eyes, stinging him as he relives the humiliation.

He hears Keith whimpering next to him, and then there’s a hand on his own, threading their fingers together and squeezing.

Lance gasps as memories that are not his own flood his mind. Memories of Keith standing next to a tombstone. Of older boys hitting Keith in what looked like an orphanage, stealing a snack from his hand. Keith receiving the news of Shiro's disappearance.

Lance wants to pull away, both physically and mentally. The pain keeps getting worse and worse, the memories grow darker once Keith is on his knees, spitting at Zarkon. Lance sees, experiences memories of pain. Of loneliness. Of sorrow. So much guilt, so much desperation.

His stomach turns as the image of Keith, drenched in the blood of his first victim, comes to mind.

It's horrible.

Before Lance can tear the device off his head, other memories stream into his mind as well. He sees someone who could only be of Pidge's brother, crying out in pain as his finger falls to the floor in front of a disbelieving Pidge. He sees Shiro lunging at Keith, aware of his actions but unable to stop himself from aiming at Keith's throat.

He sees Hunk grab a sharp tool from his working bench and plunging it into his neck. He feels Hunk's horror at opening his eyes and finding himself alive, with nothing but a scar to mark his misery.

Lance can't take it anymore. He grabs the device and yanks it off his head, cutting off his mental connection to the others. His breathing is labored and there are tears streaming down his face. His knuckles whiten around the device before he sets it down on the floor, glaring daggers at Lotor.

"This is supposed to connect us?" Lance demands in a trembling voice.

Lotor turns to look at Lance with a stoic expression.

"I never said this would be simple, Lance, nor that it will be easy. Perhaps before your trauma, bonding would have been a snap."

The rest of the team pulls off their headgear as well, all looking shaken.

“But your trauma is not something to be ignored, nor will hiding it from each other lead to a resulting victory,” Lotor points out. His eyes soften. "I understand this brings you pain, but to recover not only the Lions but your connection with each other, you must be vulnerable with one another."

Lance wants to fault Lotor's logic, but he can't. It makes sense. Doesn't mean he wants to cooperate, though. He's entirely overwhelmed by the need to comfort everyone in the room.

Shiro, whose humanity had been stripped of him. Pidge, who was blackmailed into servitude. Hunk, who was so miserable he tried to take his own life and failed. And Keith.

Keith, who had been forced to do horrible, horrible things in order to survive, and was forced to watch his best friend turn into a killing machine.

Lance's lips tremble and he grabs Keith's hand, pulling them both to their feet. He has to get away, and he has to comfort his mate. He'll speak to the rest of his team later, but for now- Keith needs him. And Lance needs Keith.

"We're going," Lance announces and tugs Keith out of the room. Storming out is more Keith's thing, but Lance doesn't think he can stand being with everyone and their memories for one second longer.

Keith doesn't fight him as he’s yanked out of the room, but as they leave, his feet stagger and he pulls Lance back towards him. Lance allows Keith to hold him close, indulges in his embrace for a minute, before taking a step back. He needs to comfort his mate, and the hallway wasn't adequate.

"Come," Lance says in a gentle, but firm tone. He leads Keith to their bedroom and lies down on the bed. Guiding Keith to hover above him, Lance pulls his alpha down to nose at his neck, to inhale his scent.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Lance murmurs.

Keith trembles. He closes his eyes mournfully and shifts to his side to slip his arms around Lance's waist.

"What is there to say..." He says hoarsely, then opens his eyes to look at Lance. “Do you?"

"No," Lance says immediately and pulls away from Keith's neck to meet his eyes. "I mean- not right now. Not when we're both feeling this way," he reasons and goes quiet. His gaze flits from Keith's eyes to his lips, and without thinking anything of it, Lance leans in to press their mouths together.

It feels right. Natural.

Keith leans into the kiss before pulling away and shifting his arms around Lance.

“Okay,” he whispers and tucks himself against Lance, sorrowful and quiet.

Lance chases after the momentary reprieve of the kiss as Keith pulls away. He hooks a leg over Keith's hip and presses close, pecking Keith's lips again before trailing down his chin, down his neck. He stops to nibble at the mark he'd left, chest blossoming with pride.

He'd managed to find himself a handsome alpha. A strong alpha.

"Lance, please," Keith says softly and pulls away. He cups Lance's cheeks before pecking his lips and pressing their foreheads together.

"Not right now."

Lance doesn't understand as Keith pulls away. Even the hands cupping his cheeks and the lips pecking his own aren't enough to soften the blow of rejection. He blinks and pulls away from Keith's touch, confused.

"Why?" Lance asks, voice tight. His touch has never been rejected before. Sendak always accepted it. Keith has, too. So what has changed?

"Don't you want to feel better?" Lance rephrases his question, confused and hurt.

Keith swallows and meets his eyes.

"Sure, it’d be good not to feel," he exhales, "feel like this, but-"

He shifts and brushes hair from Lance's eyes.

"I would much rather hold you, than, um," his cheeks flush, "I think we can feel better in other ways," he ends with a waver in his voice.

Lance frowns. He can tell that Keith's rejection doesn't have to do with him. He hasn't been faulted for anything. Yet the rejection still burns. Lance doesn't think he can let go of it until he understands why it happened.

"When... When Sendak was in a bad mood, this always helped," Lance offers. Now that Keith has made it clear that he isn't interested, Lance doesn't have to worry about ruining the mood, as Sendak's name always seemed to do in their conversations.

"I just want you to feel better."

Keith's eyes narrow, though his hand caresses Lance’s cheek.

"Lance," he says slowly, "I know this is what Sendak wanted. But I'm not him. I just... I don't want sex right now, I just want to hold you, alright? It's okay to find other ways to feel better,” he whispers.

Lance gives Keith a long look, searching his face, before eventually nodding. He feels like he's been snapped out of some sort of haze. It had been so obvious to him what he wanted to do, what he _had_ to do, that he hadn't even considered asking Keith what he wanted. It had all just seemed like... The natural course of things.

But apparently that wasn't the case. Keith isn't Sendak.

"Okay," Lance says softly and hesitates for a moment before inching closer. He tips Keith onto his back and slowly climbs on top of him, tucking his head under Keith's chin as Keith's arms come to wrap around his waist. This is how they've been falling asleep lately, and as Lance closes his eyes and listens to Keith's heartbeat, his body relaxes.

Maybe Keith is right.

.x.

The next day seems to go in a blur as they begin to near Lotor's chosen meeting destination with Sendak. Despite spending most of their time together, Lance hasn’t exchanged more than a few sentences with Keith since waking up. He can feel Keith’s tension, and at this point, Lance can’t separate it from his own.

"You should eat," Keith says, pushing a bowl in front of Lance as they sit at the small kitchen table.

Lance looks down at the bowl and shakes his head.

"No, you should eat," he slides the bowl back. "I don't think I can keep anything down."

How can he? Today is the day. Today he's going to see Sendak for the last time. He's going to have to say goodbye. And if Lance doesn't manage to convince Sendak to let him keep Vhix-

Lance swallows down the bile burning in his throat. No. He can't even think about it.

Keith’s concern is etched all over his face, from the furrow in his brow to the downturned curl of his lips.

"If I try, will you?" He compromises, offering Lance a spoon.

Lance thinks it over before reluctantly taking the spoon and shoving a mouthful of whatever it was into his mouth.

"There," he huffs. "Your turn."

Keith’s expression brightens and reaches around to poke Lance's cheek.

“Mhm," he says, taking the spoon and dipping it into the bowl.

Before he has time to lift it into his mouth, however, the entire ship rocks violently.

Lance's eyes widen as the ship makes him lose his balance and flings him into Keith's arms. His body stiffens as the alarm sounds and a voice that sounds a lot like Acxa's calmly repeats "the ship has been breached" over and over again, like a broken record.

Come to think of it, it probably was. And Lance has a good idea who might've done the breaching.

The thought immobilizes him.

Lance sees a flash of light and sound. Pain. He sees Keith being flung away. Allura and Shiro held down. Pidge unmoving on the floor. Hunk falling to his knees with a shout. And Coran-

Lance blinks and Coran is gone. Instead, Keith is in his face, shaking his shoulders with a grim expression.

"Lance, hey, hey, you need to snap out of it,” he says firmly, gripping Lance's shoulders and giving him a shake. "We need to move."

"O-okay," Lance says in a small voice. His mouth has never felt so dry.

Keith looks at Lance with a serious expression.

"Everything is going to be okay,” he promises.

Lance nods. He knows it's a lie. But he chooses to believe it. He clings to Keith's hand like a lifeline as they go through the halls, trying to find the others while remaining upright. The ship continues to shake and rock, and there’s a thick smell of smoke in the air.

There are sounds of crashing and yelling all around them. Lance stops in his tracks as he hears Hunk's familiar voice coming from the right. He sounds like he's in pain. Lance tugs urgently on Keith's hand, pulling him in Hunk's direction, when they hear Pidge's panicked yells coming from the left.

Lance stops, torn. He meets Keith's eyes.

"You go help Pidge," he says quickly. "I'll go help Hunk."

He can tell that Keith wants to argue, but as they hear Pidge scream, Keith tears himself away from Lance’s grip.

"Stay safe,” he says quickly. Then, before Lance can venture towards Hunk, Keith pulls him back in a desperate kiss.

Lance almost regrets his idea. Almost gets cold feet after Keith kisses him. But then Keith is gone and Lance knows he doesn't have time to second guess himself. He runs in the direction of Hunk's voice, heart pounding in his chest.

He doesn't have a weapon. He'll have to find one.

"Hunk!"

Lance rushes over to his friend, thankful to find the room empty aside from them. He lowers himself to his knees next to Hunk and frets over the open gash on Hunk's forehead.

"Hey, talk to me, are you okay? Can you count to ten?"

He tries not to look at all the blood on the floor.

Hunk's eyes cross in a perplexing expression.

"Uh, tasi, lua, talo... Four, five....” Hunk trails off. "Lance?" He whispers and reaches out, a hand cupping Lance's cheek. "You okay?"

Lance doesn't know if he should insist that Hunk finish counting in whatever language he chooses as long as it's coherent, or if it was safe to help him to his feet and take him to the medbay. But then Hunk reaches out and cups his cheek as if Lance was the one bleeding on the floor.

"I'm fine," Lance says with a strained smile. He covers Hunk's hand with his own. "Do you think you can stand?"

Hunk considers the question carefully and frowns. He attempts to get up and stumbles as he stands. Lance helps him, slowly and gently, stabilizing him on his feet.

"There you go," Lance encourages, unsure why Hunk’s eyes widen in horror, "just take a moment to-“

"There you are."

A deep, familiar voice booms behind him and Lance inhales sharply. He turns around and visibly pales as his suspicion is proven correct.

Sendak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! How are you all doing? We hope you're all feeling as well as you can, given the circumstances. As you can tell, the story has only two more chapters to go, but we've got one extra piece from Keith's POV that we're working on! Keep your eye out for it! 
> 
> Also, fun fact! Hunk was reciting Samoan numbers for a hot second there. They're fun, go learn how to count to ten! 
> 
> As always, comments are our lifeblood. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, and we hope you will continue to do so <3 Write a comment to your storyteller, mm? ;)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scroll down to the end notes for chapter-specific trigger warnings

Sendak takes a step closer, and Lance scrambles back on the floor. He doesn’t know if he’s trying to stand up or to get away, but whatever it is, he manages neither. Hunk shakily climbs to his knees and tries to shield him, but Sendak pushes him away with the back of his hand. Lance gasps as Hunk falls to the floor again with a low groan.

"It's time to come home,” Sendak says simply and offers Lance his hand.

Lance looks up at Sendak with a scowl, apprehension forgotten.

"Why did you do that? He's already injured!" He snaps and climbs onto his knees next to Hunk, trying to shake him awake. But Hunk is out cold, and the blood from his forehead just kept on flowing.

Sendak looks down at Lance with what might be a pitying expression before reaching down. He wraps an arm around Lance’s waist and pulls him up to his feet before lifting him in his arms.

"He will recover," he says dismissively. “Come, Vhix is waiting."

Lance tries to pull away, to slip out of Sendak's hold, but it's as firm as ever. And despite how upset he feels, he finds some comfort in the familiarity of being held like this. As Sendak says Vhix's name, Lance stops his struggling altogether. He ignored the unfamiliar, raw feeling growing in his chest the longer he remains in close proximity to Sendak.

"Vhix?" Lance repeats sharply. "Where is he?"

Sendak’s expression softens as he looks down at him.

“Safe, not here,” he assures and brushes his hand against Lance's hair. His eyes widen for a split second before narrowing.

"Who has defiled you?" Sendak demands with a growl.

Lance winces at the sudden tightness of Sendak's grip. His mouth goes dry and his pulse thuds in his ears as he tries to think of what to say. What not to say. All while battling the ever growing distress spreading through his body.

"I don't- I wasn't defiled!" Lance protests, body trembling from the stress.

Sendak sneers.

“Then explain this," he jabs at the mark on Lance’s neck. Lance gasps in pain and recoils, though Sendak’s grip does not allow him to go far.

"Who has done this to you?" Sendak demands. “Tell me!”

Lance's mind goes blank.

He'd had a plan. He was going to slowly, gently explain to Sendak what had happened. Say how it wasn't anyone's fault. Appeal to his sensible side and then part ways as amicably as possible.

He hadn't counted on Sendak invading the ship and finding out on his own.

"I'm not saying a word until you calm down," Lance eventually says, folding his arms stubbornly against his chest and ignoring the way Sendak's claws were starting to pierce his skin.

Sendak lets out a growl of frustration.

"Very well,” he says coldly and throws Lance over his shoulder.

Lance chokes as his chest hits Sendak's armor, knocking the air right out of him. His heart beats wildly as Sendak carries him down the hall at an alarming, determined pace.

"Where are we going?" Lance asks over the ruckus of fighting and explosions. He feels sick. He's the reason Lotor's ship is in ruins. The reason his friends are fighting for their lives.

“Home,” Sendak says shortly.

"No, stop," Lance squirms and beats his fists against Sendak's back. "There's no point! I already belong to someone else!"

Sendak lets out a guttural growl and his grip on Lance tightens.

“You belong to me,” he replies. “You will always belong to me!”

Lance opens his mouth to fire back something along the lines of Sendak needing to face reality, but he can hear the despair in Sendak's voice. Lance swallows his harsh words and his heart hurts.

It shouldn't have happened this way.

"Sendak," Lance tries again, in a gentler voice, "please stop. I'll tell you what happened, just put me down and listen."

Sendak slows, his grip on Lance tightening before loosening. Cautiously, he lifts Lance from his shoulder and sets him down on the floor. Lance considers it a win.

Sendak tilts his chin up and frowns down at him.

“You may explain later," he says, a large finger brushing over Lance’s lips. "For now we must go."

Sendak releases his chin and grabs his hand.

“You are mine. No claim can defile that."

Lance bites his lip at Sendak's words, wondering how exactly he should go about this. Coming to a decision, Lance squeezes Sendak's hand as much as his smaller hand can reach.

"Wait," he says quietly and looks up to meet Sendak's eyes. "I need to tell you now. Here."

Sendak looks down at Lance, and for a moment Lance thinks he’ll be denied. But Sendak’s resolve apparently wavers and he sighs.

"Fine,” he states, looking down the hall, smoke billowing as they stand. "But we must move."

Lance takes a perfunctory step before stopping again. There, he moved.

"I was really upset when they brought me here," Lance says. "And super stressed. I was missing you and Vhix and all I wanted was to go back but they kept saying no. And then my body started acting up. Lotor said it was a.... 'Survival heat' or whatever. But the main thing is that I was in pain. And..."

Lance takes a deep breath.

"I basically kinda forced Keith to mate me," Lance admits, face flushed. "He’s… isn’t dead, by the way… He was the nearest alpha at the time and he didn't want to, but then it... Happened."

Clearing his throat, Lance meets Sendak's eyes again.

"So it was my fault. And Keith has been nothing but good to me. I know this isn't what we'd planned, but... I can't go back with you. I belong to Keith."

Sendak looks down at him pensively before shaking his head.

"You are mine,” he repeats, "and I will ensure that."

Lance's eyes widen in alarm as the grip on his hand tightens and he's suddenly tugged down the halls in the opposite direction of the exit.

That, with the combination of Sendak's words, fills Lance with cold, icy dread.

"What do you mean?" Lance asks, voice an octave higher than usual. "Where are we going?"

Lance swears his heart stops beating in his chest as they round a corner and run into Keith, supporting an injured Pidge. They were probably on their way to the medbay, where Lance should've brought Hunk. Instead, he'd left his best friend unconscious on the floor.

His hand is suddenly released, but Lance doesn't care about his newfound freedom. All he can focus on is Sendak's metal arm lighting up and his furious gaze, aimed at Keith.

At his mate.

"Sendak, no!" Lance yells and grabs Sendak's flesh arm, hoping to hold him back.

Sendak doesn't look at him.

"This is the only way,” is all he says over the groan of the ship.

The heart that Lance swore had stopped in his chest starts beating wildly, pumping fear and adrenaline through Lance's veins. He changes tactics, rushing to face Sendak and grab his metal arm from the front.

"This won't change anything!" Lance says desperately, shaking his head. "What's done is done!"

He hears someone stumble behind him, and when he looks to the side, he can see Pidge rushing past them as fast as she can, in the direction of the medbay.

Good.

Sendak lowers his hand.

"It must be done if you are to return, if you wish to come home. Isn't that what you want, Lance?"

Lance's lips tremble. And to his shame, his resolve wavers for a split second.

Because he can see himself back in Sendak's room. In their bed. Reunited with Vhix, guiding him down the best path for him. Because Lance knows he'll never be able to convince Sendak to give up on their son. Not with the way things have gone down.

But Lance looks back over his shoulder at Keith and his resolve strengthens. Keith. His Keith. So brave. So kind.

He got Keith into this mess. Lance won't allow anyone else to be hurt on his account.

"I don't want you to hurt Keith," Lance says resolutely. "I won't go back with you. I'm sorry, but we have to move on."

"You don't belong with them," Sendak hisses. “You were nothing with them. I cannot give you Vhix," he states firmly, "so you must come home so that you may be with him. Where you belong."

Lance takes a step back, winded by Sendak's verbal punch to the gut. He knew Sendak wasn't going to give Vhix back to him. But hearing it brings tears to his eyes.

"Don't you think Vhix will be happier with me? With his-" Lance lowers his voice, face flushed, "-mother? He's mixed, and you keep going on about how Galra will not tolerate half-breeds. Look at Lotor! If a prince isn't being treated with respect, how is Vhix going to survive?"

Sendak looks down at him with an unreadable expression.

"All the more reason for you to return,” he says and raises his gaze to look over Lance’s shoulder.

"Step aside so I may handle this,” Sendak states and sets his hand upon Lance, roughly pushing him away just as Keith lunges towards him with a growl.

Lance stumbles from the push, his back hitting the wall as the cruel sound of clashing iron echoes through the hall. He watches, face ashen, as Keith and Sendak try to land a blow, both of them going for the kill.

And the worst part is that Lance doesn't know who he wants to win. He doesn't want either of them to die.

How can he stop this?

Keith hurriedly brushes sweat off his brow just as Sendak raises his arm. Keith quickly angles his sword and Lance cries out as he sees red blossoming on Sendak's arm. It vividly reminds him of the way Sendak had lost his eye.

For him.

He thinks of Vhix, sleeping in his cradle on Sendak's ship. Waiting for his father to come home.

"Stop it!" Lance shouts desperately, voice hoarse. "Both of you, stop it!"

Sendak growls, applying pressure against Keith's sword as they clash. For a split second, Lance thinks Sendak will succeed in piercing Keith with his own blade and he tries to yell out, but no sound leaves his throat. He's only heard of fear rendering people mute- Lance never thought he'd experience it himself.

Luckily, Keith yields before the blade touches his throat and quickly pulls away, putting distance between him and Sendak. Lance watches with wide eyes as Sendak immediately chases after Keith, swinging his arm forward, trying to disarm Keith or knock him off his feet. Lance can't be sure.

Keith’s pupils dilate as Sendak's blade scrapes across his cheek, but he ducks away just in time and aims between the cracks of Sendak’s armor.

Bile burns in Lance’s throat as he sees more blood. Blood on Keith's cheek, the cheek he'd just playfully pinched earlier that day. Blood on Sendak's shoulder, the one Lance preferred to lean his head on whenever Sendak carried him around. He can see the way his distress is affecting both Keith and Sendak. Their movements are quick, more desperate than Lance has even seen before in a fight.

Though maybe they always fight like this. Maybe this is what Sendak looks like when he's out conquering planets. Maybe this is what Keith looked like in the arena.

He squeezes his eyes shut as Sendak roars.

Keith twists his blade in his hand and ducks at another well-aimed blow. His breath is hot and fast and Sendak seems to be worn as well, but neither cease the fight. Eventually, he gets close enough to land a kick.

All color drains from Lance's face as Sendak hisses from Keith's kick and reaches out to push him. Keith's back hits the wall with a slam and Sendak doesn't waste the opportunity to raise his weapon, clearly intent on landing a killing blow.

Lance's body moves before his mind fully registers the situation. All he knows, all he can feel, is that his mate is in danger. He rushes over to Keith and stops in front of him, standing in the way between him and Sendak's raised arm.

"Please," Lance pleads, eyes blurry with tears. "I'm begging you, don't do this!"

Sendak's arm immediately powers down and he lowers it with a scowl.

"Step aside, Lance, this must be done!"

Lance can barely hear his thoughts over the rapid pulse in his ears, but he shakes his head resolutely. He takes a step back, completely shielding Keith from Sendak's arm.

"No," he states. "If you want to kill Keith, you'll have to kill me first."

Keith sets his sword down behind him and reaches for Lance’s hand. Sendak’s gaze falls on their clasped hands, and his anger visibly fades.

"Do you know what you are asking of me?"

Lance blinks away his tears, emboldened by Keith's hand squeezing his own. He meets Sendak's gaze, mirroring his sorrow.

"I love you," he says softly. "And I want to be with you and our son. But if we can't all live together peacefully," Lance exhales, "then I'm asking you to let me go."

Sendak’s expression shutters, and he reaches out to tuck a finger under Lance’s chin.

“You will regret making that decision,” he says in a cold voice. "You will always be mine."

Lance feels a bit of his heart break as Sendak takes a step back. He supposes a part of him had still held out hope that Sendak would accept his relationship with Keith and would still want him to maintain a connection with their son. They could, theoretically, work something out if they wanted to.

But Sendak sounds like he's cutting him out of his life for good. And keeping their son.

"...you'll tell Vhix that I love him?" Lance asks, sounding pathetic even to his own ears.

Is he being a bad parent, giving up on his child like this? Should he fight more, even if it meant losing Sendak? Should he give in and reunite with Vhix, even if it meant losing Keith?

There is no good choice, and Lance is losing someone no matter what he decides. But at least no one dies this way.

Sendak meets Lance's gaze once more, and Lance can feel Keith wrap his arm silently around his waist.

“You have lost all right to speak to my son."

His eyes move to meet Keith’s and they stare at each other for a long, tense moment before Sendak gives a curt nod and turns away.

Lance's lips tremble and he can't hold it in anymore. He starts to cry. He tries to keep it to quiet, hiccupping sobs, but they're still there. He turns his head to the side to bury his face in Keith's shoulder.

He's an awful human being. He'd abandoned his son.

Keith lifts Lance up, tucking him against his chest and kissing his forehead. They don't exchange words as Keith runs.

They need to find their friends.

They need to _go_.

Keith skids to a stop when they reach an empty corridor. He looks down at Lance and meets his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

Lance doesn't say anything. Or, well, he tries, but nothing comes out. He just... Doesn't really want to exist anymore. In this moment, at least. And saying something would be acknowledging that he'd really just given up on Sendak, abandoned his son, and that the ship was literally on fire and his friends might be dead.

So he closes his eyes and clings a little bit tighter to Keith. If he's ever needed someone to take care of him, it was now.

Keith sets Lance down and carefully wipes away his tears. More follow, but Keith cups Lance's cheeks regardless.

"I know you just sacrificed a lot, and for me. I don't know if I can ever repay you. But it-“

He swallows.

"This isn't the end," he says fiercely. “We're going to get through this because we're together,” he whispers, kissing Lance's head.

“You don't have to respond. Just... I'm here, okay?"

Lance silently nods and wraps his arms around Keith, soaking up whatever comfort he can get to carry on through this mess. He takes a deep, shaky breath and pulls away from the hug just enough so as to meet Keith's eyes.

"So what now?"

"Now,” Keith looks around and coughs, "now we get out of here." He takes Lance's hand and squeezes. "Okay?" He asks with a smile.

"Okay," Lance tries to smile back, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He looks around and frowns. "Where is everyone? Are they okay?"

"I told Pidge to go to the medbay, I hope Hunk and Shiro got there too,” Keith says, biting his lip. "If we're not all there..." He exhales.

"If we need to find someone," he reaches out and brushes Lance's hair, "we'll go look for them. Then we’ll find a pod."

Lance thinks about Keith’s plan for a moment before shaking his head.

“That’ll take too long! We need to split up. I know where Hunk is, so I’ll go get him. You go get Pidge and try to find Shiro. We’ll regroup in ten minutes by the pods.”

Keith opens his mouth to argue, but Lance pushes him away.

“Go! We don’t have much time!”

Keith hesitates for a second before his mouth presses into a thin line.

“Fine,” he says stiffly. “But I’m not leaving without you.”

Lance watches Keith go, a grim smile on his face before he turns to run in Hunk’s direction. The implication that someone might be missing from their regroup haunts him.

This is all his fault. Always was, always will be. A part of him wishes Sendak had just ended him right then and there. At least he wouldn't be burdened with all of this guilt.

Lance turns left, keeping his head down to avoid looking at all the damage he’d caused, when something shiny catches his attention. He looks up and freezes as he comes face to face with a sentry.

What was it doing here? Did Sendak forget it? Were Sendak's soldiers still on the ship?

Or was it sent to finish him off?

Lance's breath hitches in his throat as the sentry takes a step towards him and he looks around, frantically searching for a weapon, anything he can use to defend himself. The sentry was too close to run.

When it raises its arm, Lance raises his hands to cover his face and lowers himself to the floor in a crouch, but a second passes and there's no sound of a shot. No pain. Cautiously, Lance opens his eyes and startles as he sees a piece of paper shoved in his face.

Paper. In space. The only time he's seen actual paper in the last two years was in that notebook Sendak got him in the Earth store during one of his sprees.

Lance blinks at the paper, looks up at the otherwise immobile sentry, and slowly takes it out of its outstretched arm.

Lance yelps as a shot is suddenly fired from behind him and the sentry falls to the floor, barely missing him. He quickly stuffs the note in his pocket before four arms wrap around him, Hunk hugging his head and Pidge hugging his arm.

Lance smiles.

"Hey guys," he says, voice still hoarse from his crying. "Are you okay?”

Hunk nods and Pidge squeezes him tighter.

"Yeah, we'll survive,” Pidge mumbles and reaches out to pat Lance's cheek. "Will you?" She asks, blunt as ever.

Lance nods.

"I'll try," he promises and accepts Hunk's offered hand, pulling him up to his feet. He looks behind them.

"Are the others on their way?"

Hunk smiles and brushes some hair from Lance's face.

"I woke up after… y’know,” Hunk mumbles, concern on his face, “And, mm, Keith went looking for Shiro." He looks around, glancing at Pidge to confirm what he had said. “We haven't seen Lotor or his generals... They probably abandoned us."

Pidge rolls her eyes and Lance frowns. After all the effort Lotor and his generals put into gathering all of them together, he didn't think it was likely that they would abandon ship. But then, he doesn't know Lotor all that well.

"I see..." Lance trails off and shakes his head. "Well, let's go wait for them in the pods. If there are any left."

Hunk nods and gives Pidge a quick look before they both grab Lance's hands and silently walk down the hall. When they find the escape pods, there are two left. Lance doesn’t remember if there were more to start with.

He climbs into the pod and sits silently with Hunk and Pidge, waiting for Keith and Shiro to join them. It's tense, and when Keith finally appears in the doorway supporting a semi-conscious Shiro, Lance jumps up and rushes to help them climb into the pod.

Slinging Shiro's other arm over his shoulder, Lance experiences _déjà_ _vu_. He'd done this before, hadn't he?

Things have changed, though.

A lot.

Once they set Shiro down on one of the seats, Keith grabs Lance and pulls him into a kiss. Lance's lips tingle and he stumbles back into his seat as the pod roars to life. He takes Keith's hand and guides him into the empty seat next to him.

"Did you see Lotor or his generals?" Lance asks loudly over the countdown.

Keith shakes his head.

“No, Shiro didn’t either, they just,” he shouts louder as the engine noise grows, “disappeared!”

Lance’s grip on Keith’s hand tightens and he squeezes his eyes shut as the pod launches into space, leaving the burning ship behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Early update, just because we can ;) One chapter left to go. Crazy, isn't it? We'll wait until next week to get sentimental, though. 
> 
> In the meantime, we hope you're all doing well, and we'd love to hear your thoughts! It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings :)
> 
> tw: child abandonment


	30. Chapter 30

Lance helps Hunk walk over to the fire Keith had started earlier, casting a concerned look at the barely conscious Shiro as they pass by him. Pidge had gone with Keith to search for food, which was a good thing, but they'd left over an hour ago. Lance worries his lip as he settles Hunk down on the emergency blanket they'd found in the escape pod.

Lance had elected to stay with Hunk and Shiro to care for them, and indeed, Hunk was already looking better after they'd washed his face together by the lake they'd landed next to. The water tasted funny, but Pidge had deemed it safe after a quick scan. Lance always thought it was a little odd how Pidge carried her datapad with her everywhere, but apparently it really comes into handy when crashing on an unfamiliar planet with suspicious water sources.

"There we go," Lance says encouragingly as he helps Hunk sit down. He glances at Shiro and frowns, noting that Shiro had fallen asleep on the ground. Should he wake him and help him wash in the lake as well? Or should he just let the man rest?

"...you're sure this is a friendly planet?" Lance asks for the fifth time as he sits down next to Hunk, warming his hands over the fire. He doesn't like the idea of Keith and Pidge wandering around, weak and hungry, with the planet's sun rapidly setting behind them.

Hunk looks up at the question, blowing at his chilled hands to try and warm them up.

"I know as much as you do, buddy," he says gently and reaches out a hand to squeeze Lance's hand. "Lotor had said this was neutral ground for Galra and others, so, it should be safe."

Lance sighs. He knows this is the planet where Lotor had decided to hold the exchange with Sendak. Keith had entered the coordinates, but Lotor hadn't elaborated much about it at the time. And Lance had no reason to ask, he'd only been worried about what he was going to say to Sendak once he sees him.

So much for that, Lance thinks dully. It's difficult to imagine it having gone any worse.

Hunk rolls his shoulders and looks up at the sky.

"It's safe enough that we can rest here. It's our only option, really."

They both glance at the dented escape pod. Even if it wasn't broken, escape pods were only good for so long. They need a real ship. They need money. Shelter.

Hunk turns back to look at Lance with a tired smile.

“Bud, you can take a nap. I'll wake you up when the others get back."

"No, I'm supposed to watch over you two," Lance insists and lowers his hands to his lap. It wasn't like he'd be able to sleep until he knew that Keith was safe, anyways.

Hunk chuckles and tucks an arm around him.

“Then who's gonna watch over you, Lance?" He asks, hugging him a little and letting him settle against him. "We'll be okay," he reassures gently and meets Lance's eyes. “Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday."

Lance closes his eyes as he leans against Hunk's shoulder, always so comfortable and warm. He isn't sure he believes Hunk's words, but he's glad to hear them.

"How can you be so sure?" He asks, voice barely over a whisper.

Hunk exhales.

"I can't be, none of us can," he reasons, "but we've survived, somehow, our own personal prisons," he looks down at Lance. "I don't know what's next, Lance. Or if we ever get home. But I'm just so glad you're okay."

Tears brim in his eyes.

"I couldn't bear to lose my best friend again." Hunk lets out a shaking breath. “So I have to believe that us being together again, even if it's in this state… I gotta believe that means something. That things will get better, with us together."

Tears well up in Lance's eyes as well, and he tries to blink them away.

"You're so corny," Lance says with a small laugh. "Don't ever change, Hunk. You hear me?"

He turns, wrapping his arms around Hunk, and thinks that he must've done something very good in one of his past lives to deserve someone like Hunk.

Hunk cracks a smile.

"Yeah, I promise not to," he says, hugging Lance back. As they do, they hears brambles snap and look up to see Pidge and Keith emerge from the thicket.

"You're back," Hunk notes with a smile.

Keith sets down a bundle of forged items next to the fire, and Pidge marches towards the lake without a word.

"We didn't know what was safe to eat," Keith says with a grunt and turns to Hunk. "D'you mind...?"

Hunk rolls up his sleeves and carefully extracts himself from Lance’s arms as he gets up to inspect their findings.

"Thanks,” Keith says gratefully and finally turns to look at Lance.

Tension slowly ebbs out of Lance's shoulders as Keith approaches. Good. He's safe. He shifts on the blanket, making room for Keith as he sits down next to him.

"How was foraging?" Lance asks conversationally, hugging his knees to his chest as he stares at the dancing flames.

"Prickly," Keith mutters, pulling a bramble leaf from his hair. “But good, I think," he adds gently and reaches out to squeeze Lance's hand.

Lance snorts and gives Keith a cursory once-over. He looks tired and dirty, but the worrying bloodstains have long since dried. They're going to have to wash the cuts, though, and disinfect them as soon as they can.

Lance reaches out and brushes a smudge of dirt off Keith's cheek.

"Did Shiro or Hunk give you any trouble?” Keith speaks up, a soft smile on his lips.

"Nah, Hunk and I were having a bonding moment," Lance grins, "and Shiro is taking a much needed nap. Finally. Didn't get to wash him off before, though."

Keith nods, a faint blush visible on his cheeks in the firelight.

"Good. That's good,” he says absently and lets out a breath. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I'm sorry we weren't able to get Vhix." He glances at Lance before looking away.

Lance's smile disappears and his throat immediately constricts. He takes a shallow breath, hoping to keep the tears at bay.

"It's not your fault," Lance says in a thick voice. "I couldn't find the right words."

"It is," Keith insists, "if I had just gotten Vhix... When I had you, none of this would've happened." He curls his hand and squeezes his eyes. "I won't stop," he looks up at Lance, "I'll find a way, this was my fuck up."

He presses his lips together in a thin line.

"I'll do whatever it takes to give you the future you deserve, Lance."

Lance turns to look back at the fire, not trusting himself to speak. In truth, he doesn't want to talk about Vhix. About the choice he made. It's still too raw, too painful. But does he even deserve a reprieve? If anything, he deserves to feel guilty about abandoning his son every second, every day, for the rest of his life.

"You can't get him back," Lance says quietly. "We had a chance, and I blew it. We're lucky to be alive."

Keith reaches out and takes Lance's chin.

"You were put in an impossible situation," he says and brushes some hair behind Lance's ear. "And you know I have no love for Sendak, but you chose me,” he smiles wanly, "and there's nothing I can say or do that can make up for that."

He presses their lips together in a brief kiss.

"But I swear to you, I will not rest until you have your son back, do you understand?"

The tears finally win, and Lance sniffs as they roll down his cheeks. He ducks his head under Keith's chin and shakily inhales his scent in an attempt to collect himself.

"I can't raise my hopes up again, Keith," Lance says shakily. "I just can't."

Keith bites his lip and holds Lance close.

"Just... All I ask is you to have faith in me. I'll look after you, Lance," Keith whispers. "All I've ever wanted is you to be happy and safe." He pulls back to brush Lance's tears away.

"Whatever that means for you, that's what I'll do,” he smiles, and there are mirroring tears in his eyes.

Lance swallows thickly and tries to return Keith's smile.

"Well... What do you want?" Lance asks and rests his head against Keith's shoulder. "Aside from getting yourself killed on Sendak's ship?"

Keith's smile drops.

"I told you what I want," he says stiffly, pulling back a little.

Lance frowns and sits up.

"Look, you don't owe me for saving your life, okay? I'm the one who forced you into all this. If I hadn't taken advantage of you, then your life wouldn't have been in danger in the first place," Lance says crisply.

"So assuming we survive this planet, what do you think we should do? Where would you want to go?"

Keith bristles and he looks at Lance with a frown.

"Is that what you think? Lance, neither of us were in control during that night, this is not your fault,” he says resolutely.

Keith leans back and throws an arm over his eyes.

“I’d want to go away, so far fucking away from all of this," he admits.

Lance's irritation fades and he gently pries Keith's arm from his face. He sees the tears and before he can stop himself, Lance leans down to kiss the corner of Keith's eye.

"I second that," he says softly.

Keith offers him a small smile.

"I still want to get your son back, but whatever you decide, Lance," he reaches out and cups his cheek. "I'll help you," he whispers. "It's your turn to choose what you want."

Lance manages to return Keith's smile this time. He lowers himself down onto the blanket, and tugs Keith down with him as well.

"I want to go to sleep," Lance declares and curls against Keith's side. "And you should too."

Keith lets out a huff.

“Who am I to fight you," he says and throws an arm around Lance’s shoulder. He looks at him and smiles sadly as he presses his lips to Lance's forehead.

“Sleep well."

.x.

Lance would usually be the first one to march right up to a vendor and start haggling with them over a hunk of meat or an overpriced toy truck for his nephew. But Lance doesn't have it in him right now. The charm. The flirting. Not even the friendly demeanour.

In fact, he’s feeling rather hollow. But Hunk, Pidge and Shiro need medical supplies and they all need food and a place to rest their heads. Without any GAC, Lance isn't sure how they're going to make it through a second night.

"They think we're thieves," Lance frowns and clings a little tighter to Keith's arm. "You'll see, soon the whole market will know about us and no one will sell us anything."

Keith looks down at him and manages a smile.

“Clearly you forgot I grew up with nothing,” he says, patting Lance’s arm before bumping into someone.

A safe distance away, Keith unclenches his fist and reveals a handful of coins.

“I said I’d take care of you,” he hums.

Lance gives Keith a blank stare.

"Great, now we _are_ thieves," he mutters under his breath and follows Keith to the nearest booth. The owner looks at them with a frown, and even with his one eye he manages to look disapproving.

“How much for medical supplies and a job?” Keith asks with an unwavering expression.

"I don't need some stranger with only two arms," the owner says dismissively, waving his third arm. "But I can sell you the medical supplies. What do you need?"

Keith offers a gritted smile.

“Any gauze or pain med you got,” Keith replies. “And the job isn’t for me, it’s for my mate. He can sell just about anything.”

Lance blinks, unprepared for the single eye to suddenly focus on him with crippling intensity. He stares back, however, and manages what he hopes is a confident grin.

He isn't in the mood for this, but he doesn't have a choice.

"Those bangles suit you, sir," Lance says and takes a step forward, reaching for a scarf on display. "This scarf would go well with them. It matches the color of your eyes- er, eye."

Not his best pitch, but it's the best he can think of on the spot. The owner gives him a long, critical look.

"The medical supplies are 20 GAC," he states, "and I'll give you a trial run. Not sure about your skills, but you'll definitely grab some attention. Come back tomorrow morning."

Once the exchange is complete, Keith grabs Lance's free hand and they turn to go. He looks at Lance and smiles nervously.

"It's just temporary, I'll look for a job too ‘til we can get a ship and find a way home."

They continue to walk in companionable silence until they reach the edge of the market. Keith pauses and squeezes Lance’s hand.

"You do want to go home, right?”

Lance shrugs. They’d settled on going as far away as possible, and Earth was far enough, he supposes.

"Where else can we go?"

Keith shakes his head. “Space is huge, Lance. We could go anywhere we want.”

Lance is quiet for a moment.

"We've changed so much," he says slowly. "Are you sure you want to go home?"

Keith looks thoughtful as he meets Lance’s eyes.

“Earth was never really home, but it’s where the others want to go,” he admits. "I didn't feel anything close to peace until I met Shiro. So I... I think you are a part of that, too,” he says with a faint blush. "I guess I'm trying to say, wherever you wanna go, it’s where I want to be."

Lance bites his lip.

"I mean, of course I want to see my family again, and they won't notice anything at first. But what if- what if we want kids?" Lance says, the words cutting through his chest. Talking about kids when he already has one that misses him. He swallows thickly.

"How do we explain something like that?"

Keith brushes some hair from Lance's eyes. "Then we'll figure it out,” he says, then pauses. “We'll get a surrogate, we'll adopt. We can do whatever you're comfortable with and if we have to explain... We'll do it together,” he whispers. "He doesn't control your body anymore, Lance. It's your decision now."

Lance takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He doesn't want to talk about this, not really. Not right now. It's too fresh. He shouldn’t have brought it up.

"Home it is," he says quickly and starts to walk again, shifting the weight of the gauze in his arms.

Keith nods and slips his arm around Lance's waist as they walk to their makeshift camp. The pod lays on its side, and the fire had long gone out. Pidge is dozing against Hunk's shoulder, and Lance’s expression softens as he sees Shiro making a weak attempt at lighting the fire anew.

He sits down on the ground next to the embers and watches as Keith and Shiro try and succeed together at lighting a new one.

"Hey," Hunk yawns, trying not to disturb Pidge. "How was the market?"

"Big," Lance says and lifts up a pack of gauze and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. He keeps wondering how remote alien planets get their hands on Earth products. Maybe during all of those alien sightings.

"We got medical supplies," he hums and walks over to Hunk, settling down next to him and carefully disinfection the gash on Hunk’s forehead. "There are some pain meds, too."

“Were you always so good at this?" Hunk asks with a smile and closes his eyes. "I don't remember you being good at this when we were in the Garrison."

Lance raises a brow.

"I guess it's just something the druids programmed me with," he wonders out loud as he starts to apply a new patch of gauze. "I'm perfect housewife material now."

Hunk winces at that and reaches out to cover Lance's hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Nah, if you’re a housewife,” he says gently. “Then that makes you a hero too. Saved my life, at least.”

Lance, for the life of him, cannot remember when exactly he'd saved Hunk's life. If anything, he'd left him to die and was the cause for extra lashes by Hunk's Galra master. But he doesn't have it in him to argue. He gives a noncommittal hum and finishes dressing Hunk's wound before wrapping his arms around Hunk's shoulders in a gentle hug.

"I'm sorry I haven't always been a good friend to you," he whispers. "I should've done so much more for you. I've been so, so selfish. I don't deserve you. Any of you."

Hunk returns the hug.

"Buddy," he whispers, "you made the best of a really awful situation.” He holds him close. “We can't dwell on ‘should've’, because, well, we're here. We're as together as we could possibly be."

They don't speak it, but the absence of Allura and Coran is palpable.

"And we're making the best of it,” Hunk adds. "I think after all we've all been through, we all deserve each other, huh?" He nudges Lance's shoulder.

Lance snorts.

"I guess, if you put it like that," Lance mumbles and gives Hunk a careful squeeze before pulling away. He looks over at Pidge and bites his lip.

"Should we wake her up?"

Hunk shakes his head.

“She was up almost all night trying to construct some kind of transmitter to send to Earth. She's hoping her dad will get the message... She needs the sleep,” he explains. He looks around and raises a brow.

“Not enough money for food I take it?" At Lance's shake of the head, Hunk nods. "I'll go scavenge."

Lance frowns.

"Are you sure you're up to it? I can go. Or send Keith."

Hunk shakes his head. "I could use the walk. And the fresh air,” he says reassuringly. "I'll shout if anything comes up."

"...okay," Lance says, still unsure, but if Hunk wants to go then there's no stopping him. He watches him leave and gives Pidge another look before walking over to where Keith and Shiro were sitting next to the fire, speaking in low tones.

"Hey," Lance says as he sits down next to Shiro. He waves the gauze and alcohol in his hands. "You're up next."

Shiro offers a stiff smile and delicately takes off the bloodied shirt wrapped around the gash on his flesh arm. His eyes go back to Keith.

“So, we rest here, and try to get some funds to transport back to Earth?"

Keith nods.

"The only thing we can do now is warn Earth,” he reasons. “We don't have Lotor or the Lions,” Keith exhales. “We're on our own."

Lance silently cleans the wound on Shiro's arm with the alcohol, murmuring an apology as Shiro jumps from the burn. Once he's satisfied that the gash is clean, Lance starts to apply the gauze, careful and gentle.

Shiro is quiet, contemplative.

"Then that's what we will do,” he says and turns to look at Lance with a tired smile.

"Thanks, Lance. Keith told me you got a job. Better than any of us have done so far."

Lance rolls his eyes, but he can't bite back the pleased smile at Shiro's compliment. Despite everything, he still is kind of his idol.

"More like Keith got me the job. And it's not much, the stand owner basically said I look weird enough to grab a customer's attention without even trying."

Shiro shakes his head.

“No, Keith demanded something, but you got it,” he points out, earning an eyeroll from Keith. "For right now, Lance," he says gently, "it's about the little wins. Thanks for getting us one." He squeezes his hand.

Lance looks at Shiro, a little dazed, before flushing and pulling his hand back.

"Uh, right. Yeah. Totally. You've got it," he says quickly, stumbling over his words.

Shiro chuckles. “No problem, Lance,” he says and stands up. "I'm going to check on Pidge."

Shiro isn’t gone for a second before Keith scoots closer and nudges him.

"You're, uh, a little red."

"Shut up," Lance huffs and makes a show of trying to push Keith away. He's unsuccessful.

Keith smiles in return and kisses Lance plain on the mouth, his lips lingering.

"I know how to make you redder,” he teases, his own cheeks beginning to mirror Lance's.

As if on cue, Lance feels his face grow even hotter.

"Oh my god, that was terrible," Lance groans and turns to look away, hiding his face away from the light of the fire. "Stop looking so smug!"

"I can't help it!" Keith protests and kisses along Lance's exposed skin. Lance's breathing grows a little shallow as Keith kisses along the nape of his neck.

"I'm out of practice with all this... Stuff,” Keith mumbles, his thumbs brushing Lance's knuckles as he pulls him close to press their foreheads together.

Lance’s lips quirk in a small smile at Keith's admission.

"I dunno," Lance raises a brow, "you didn't seem out of practice this morning."

Keith snorts.

"No, no, not that shit,” he huffs, his cheeks rosy. “The, uh, am I doing the romantic stuff good?" He asks. "I've never really done stuff like this."

Lance's smile softens.

"Yeah, you're doing good," he reassures him and dips forward to press a kiss to Keith's lips. When he pulls away, his smirk is back.

"But you should probably ask me before pimping me out again."

Keith flinches.

"Yeah. You're right, that was shitty of me. You don't have to do the job, I just... I can do it." He says quickly. "Or we look at something else. It was just a risk, I didn't know if it would work."

Lance shakes his head and runs his hand down Keith's arm.

"No, it's okay, I want to do it. Just warn me next time, okay?" Keith nods, guilt in his pale expression.

Lance pauses for a moment before leaning forward and nosing Keith's neck.

"Tell me the truth," he whispers. "I'm a horrible parent, aren’t I?”

For all of his unwillingness to talk about Vhix, Lance can’t stop himself from bringing him up. He’s searching for absolution, but even when Keith or Hunk give it to him, Lance refuses to accept it. He’s sick of himself, and he’s certain that his friends will be, too. If they aren’t already.

Keith takes Lance's hands and gives him a somber look.

"My mother abandoned my dad and me when I was... I must've been really young. I don't even remember her,” he pauses. "I think she must've been Galra, she must’ve been,” he whispers, hands shaking.

"And if that's true... I can understand why she did. I’m angry about it, I mean I was, but now," He pulls his hand away to rub at his neck. “It's weird being two things, not knowing you were another thing in the first place."

Keith takes a deep breath.

"I think... I think Sendak cares about your son. I think he will be loved and cared for." He bites his lip. "I don't think you're a horrible parent... I don't think you got the chance to be anything." He meets Lance's gaze.

“Sorry... I don't think I answered your question."

Lance is quiet. He's never heard Keith speak about his parents before. Or about his mixed heritage. He swallows thickly and looks away, choosing to wrap his arms around Keith's hips and press his cheek to Keith's chest.

He smells like smoke.

"No, it helps," he says quietly. "I just... I just wish there was a way- oh my god," Lance's eyes widen and a fresh new wave of guilt washes over him. "I completely forgot about Azul!"

Keith slips his arms around him.

"I know you said you didn’t want me to,” he says quietly, “but I still think I should-“

Lance shakes his head violently.

"No, we can't try again," Lance states. "All of you were almost killed yesterday. There’s no way I’d let you go without me, and don't think Sendak would let _me_ go a second time. I can't risk you, any of you, dying because of me," he says miserably.

Keith exhales and wraps Lance into a tight hug.

“I know,” he whispers. “I... I’m sorry, Lance.”

Lance clings to Keith, trying to find comfort in his mere proximity. And though his silent tears dry on his cheeks, he can't make the pain go away. Lance doesn't feel like he has the right to even try.

Now, more than ever, he wishes he could speak to his mother. She always knows what to say.

.x.

Hunk eventually returns and dinner is silently served. Lance eats his portion, not because he's hungry, but because Keith has been eyeing him like a hawk. He wouldn't be surprised if Keith took it upon himself to force feed him.

When he’d first been taken by Keith to Lotor’s ship, Lance felt guilty about putting anything in his mouth at all. It was his job to feed Vhix, his baby, and he'd failed miserably. Logically, Lance knows Sendak must've found another food source for their son, but still. His body didn't know that, and his chest would hurt in more ways than one when he thought about it.

But ever since his heat and his fresh bond with Keith, Lance's body changed. It stopped producing milk. As if it already knew that his job as a parent was over. As if it knows that he'd abandoned his baby.

It's almost as if Vhix had never existed. The druids didn't leave one scar on his body during the delivery. Lance wishes they had. His body might be moving on, but Lance's heart is still stuck in Sendak's bed, holding his baby close and rocking him to sleep.

Dinner finally ends and everyone scatters to their own beds, wishing each other a good night and leaving Keith and Lance next to the fire for the first guarding shift. It technically was Keith’s shift, but Lance doesn’t think he’d be able to fall asleep in the dark on his own. Not like this.

“Do you... Are you up to talking about it?” Keith eventually asks, breaking the silence.

Lance looks away.

"...that's the problem," he says dully. "If I talk about it, it hurts. If I don't talk about it, it hurts. You must be sick of me crying all the time."

Keith reaches out and brushes Lance's cheek.

"I'm not... But we don't have to talk."

Lance manages a small, grim smile.

"Well, I am. And I'm definitely sick of being in my own head so please, tell me something new."

Keith returns the smile.

"I'll try-" he coughs and looks up at the stars. "We could make new constellations?" He suggests, pointing up. "We are in uncharted territory. We could make anything we want."

Blinking, Lance looks up at the sky. He hadn't even thought of raising his gaze above the ground. Which is odd, because his sisters used to tease him about how his head was always in the clouds and that he needed to look where he was going.

With Hunk's comment and his own recent observation, Lance wonders how much exactly he's changed from the person he used to be on Earth. It isn't... It isn't just his body, is it?

"Okay, I'm game," Lance agrees and tilts his head back. He points up at a cluster of bright stars. "Does that kinda look like a teapot, or is it just me?"

Keith follows Lance's line of sight and tilts his head.

"Does that make that bit over there," he points to a group of four, "the cup?"

Lance squints.

"Could be. Or a cookie."

Keith snorts. "Yeah, I can see that." He reaches down to lace their hands together.

"And that one seems like it's the brightest, don't you think?"

Lance frowns, trying to find the star Keith is talking about.

"I guess? Though there are a few over there that..."

Lance turns to look at Keith to see if he's looking in the right direction, but finds Keith staring at him with a fond smile. Lance's face feels warm against the cold night air.

"Oh," he says quietly and he really should be groaning and pushing Keith away because how corny was that? But Lance can't bring himself to do so. Instead, his eyes flit down to Keith's lips before returning to meet his eyes.

"I dunno, the one I'm looking at right now is pretty bright."

It was Keith's turn to flush, and he ducks his eyes from view. "O-oh, that so?" He says awkwardly. "So, ah, um..." He exhales, and then meets Lance's eyes. He doesn't finish as their lips meet in a sweet kiss.

Lance melts into the kiss, placing his hands on Keith's broad shoulders as he tilts his head. Keith reaches up and runs his fingers through Lance's hair, the kiss deepening.

Closing his eyes, Lance devotes himself to the kiss, feeling every warm touch like a salve. He runs a hand down Keith's chest to rest on his thigh as he scoots closer.

This is the man Lance has given his previous life up for. This is the man he promised he'd never leave.

Keith is his future.

As if on cue, Keith pulls back far enough to look into his eyes.

"I love you."

Lance sucks in his breath and his eyes grow wide. Sure, Keith has said as much in more ways than one, but the actual three words haven't been said between them yet. It's... Exhilarating. That someone can still love him, even after all the things he's done. And hasn't done.

No one has said those words to him before. Not romantically.

Not even Sendak.

Lance’s heart hurts at the thought, but the pain doesn’t linger. How could it, when Keith was sitting right in front of him, looking at him like that?

Lance wants to say the words back, even if he doesn't fully mean them yet. But Keith deserves better than that.

"I know," Lance says with a soft smile and reaches out to cup Keith's face in his palms. "And one day I'm gonna say it to you too and it'll be waaaaay more romantic. Y'know, flowers, chocolates, the works."

Keith exhales a laugh.

“Uhuh,” he hums, eyes shining with amusement.

He leans into Lance's palm and presses a kiss to his hand.

"Wouldn't expect any less,” he says softly. "And... Lance," he looks at him firmly, "say it when you're ready." He slips his arms around Lance's waist, squeezing to emphasize his point.

"I will," Lance promises, lowering his hands to wrap his arms around Keith's neck as he leans in for another kiss. He trails his lips down Keith's throat and mouths at his mark, just visible over Keith's shirt collar.

Keith smiles and closes his eyes, moving close enough to nuzzle against Lance. They stay like that for a few minutes before Hunk walks over to them with a tired smile.

“My turn to keep watch,” Hunk says in a sleep-thick voice. “You should get some sleep."

A little embarrassed at being caught holding each other so intimately, Lance pulls back and clears his throat. Keith looks embarrassed as well, and they both stand up and wish Hunk a good night before retreating to their blanket together.

The mention of sleep is a sudden reminder of the heaviness of his eyelids and the aches and pains in Lance’s arms and legs. He definitely needs some shuteye if he's going to function at his job tomorrow morning.

They curl around each other, huddling for warmth, and Lance accepts their meager accommodation for what it is. It'll be difficult getting used to working hard and living from hand to mouth after being pampered and cared for by Sendak for so long, but he’ll make do.

At least he has Keith as his own personal heater.

Lance closes his eyes with a smile and waits for sleep to claim him. The fire crackles nearby and there's some animal in the distance making a distorted version of an owl's whistle. He can tell when Keith drifts off- his breathing slows against the nape of Lance's neck and his grip around Lance's waist grows slack.

Lance opens his eyes with a frown. He's exhausted, but he can't fall asleep. Why?

He shifts on the ground, trying to find perhaps a more comfortable position, when he hears something crunch. Startled, Lance freezes and looks around, but aside from Shiro's distant snoring, he doesn't hear anything.

Slowly, Lance tries to move again and-there! The crunching sound!

Confused, Lance raises his hips and dips a hand beneath himself, blindly searching the ground for the source of the sound while trying not to wake Keith. He almost gives up when he hears the crunch again as his withdrawing hand brushes against his pocket.

The memory hits Lance as his hand delves into his pocket and touches paper.

It's the note from the sentry.

Lance's pulse quickens as he slowly pulls his hand back up and unfolds the note. He squints in the darkness to make out the words.

_Lance,_

_If you return to me, I shall not kill your mate. We will be together as it is meant to be. We have faced much worse in our way. I will be waiting at the proposed coordinates for 3 quintents. Return to where you belong and we shall be a family._

_Commander Sendak_

Lance's mouth goes dry and his hands feel clammy. His fingers smudge the ink when he smoothens out the note to read it again. And again.

He'd been so sure Sendak had given up on him. Didn't want him to be Vhix's parent anymore. But then again, he did tell him that Lance will always be his.

Lance's mind swirls with the words as he shoves the note into his other pocket. Keith grunts and Lance holds his breath, not sure if he can be confronted on this quite yet. But Keith's slow, soft breathing resumes and Lance released his breath in a shaky exhale.

A part of him hates Sendak for writing this note. He'd made his choice, yet here Sendak is, making him doubt himself. Doubt his feelings for the man curled up next to him. For Keith, who'd just told him that he loves him. His mate.

But a different part of Lance is grateful for the opportunity to return to the warm and familiar embrace of Sendak. To be reunited with Vhix and Azul. To be a family, just like they'd been before Keith took him. They were happy.

Sendak is here, somewhere on this planet, waiting for him.

Heart pounding, Lance closes his eyes, but it's a lost cause.

He knows he won't be getting any sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for reading défaite, our first published collab <3 As you can already see, we have removed the story from the 'anonymous' collection. We were a little unsure about the reception of the story in the beginning, which is why we'd initially decided to post under the collection, but you have all been so excited and kind- which led to the decision to reveal ourselves, so to speak. 
> 
> So, hey! We're Hannaadi88 and HunkyDory, and it's a pleasure to finally meet you all ;)
> 
> Now, as for the story's ending. We chose to go with an open ending because we think that who Lance chooses isn't as important as the journey he goes through in making that decision. We know it's frustrating not to have one determined ending, but we invite you to open your minds and come up with your own endings. Does Lance decide to throw the note away and return with Keith to Earth? Does he meet up with Sendak and return to his son? Maybe Lance finds away to reset his body? Who knows! We certainly don't! There's no one right answer, and we'd love to hear your theories in the comments below. 
> 
> Speaking of comments- now that the story is complete, that doesn't mean that we aren't interested in reading your thoughts! Should you happen to stumble across this story one, five, even ten years from now, we'd still be very eager to hear what you have to say! So don't be afraid to comment should you want to. Not on this fic, or on any complete fics in general.
> 
> Hannaadi88: Hey guys! Aside from writing Lance, Shiro, Zarkon and a bit of Lotor, my main job in this collab was editing our rp to the chapter format you guys have been reading every week. It was challenging at times, and certainly time-consuming, but your comments have made it all worth it! I also did the fun A/Ns at the end of the chapters. At least, they were fun for me to write, haha. 
> 
> Should you be interested in reading any of my other VLD fics, you can find them on my AO3 profile (among other fandoms). I'm also including a link to my tumblr in case any of you would like to reach out and message me! I'd love to hear from you! 
> 
> https://hannaadi88.tumblr.com/
> 
> I had an amazing time working on this story with HunkyDory, and I hope you all enjoyed the ride. Thank you for reading and commenting, and I hope to see you all in our future fics!
> 
> HunkyDory: Hi all! It's nice to formally introduce myself, I am HunkyDory, and it's a pleasure to meet you all! I took on the role of Sendak. But not just him! I also played Keith, Hunk, Pidge, Lotor, and honestly most of the extras that Lance might've come across. I also replied to most, if not all, of your lovely comments and theories, with some assistance from my partner in crime, Hannaadi88. It took us a little bit to navigate Anonymous Ao3 but replies from your comments are from me, and I loved reading your comments. 
> 
> Défaite is the first fic in a long while that I have published and it was wonderful to work with Hannaadi88 through this. Thank you for making my return to Ao3 such a blast. 
> 
> Here's my tumblr, I post stuff on it sometimes ;)
> 
> https://hunky-dory.tumblr.com/
> 
> We know it's sad to see things end, but like all things, it must. We are excited to read your thoughts and theories that have motivated us throughout this whole story. We also have one more omake from Keith's point of view coming sometime soon.
> 
> But fear not! This is not the end of this dynamic duo! We have a story in the works that might interest you. We're writing a Voltron Legendary Defenders superhero fic, featuring a villain in disguise, superhero shenanigans, and Loverboy Lance, at it again. If you'd like a sneak peek, check out our joint twitter account where we included a scene from our new fic. 
> 
> https://twitter.com/hannadory1
> 
> We will also be sharing other things on this twitter, such as drabbles, special requests and polls, among many other fun extras!
> 
> Thank you for all of your kind, encouraging words. Thank you for all the fabulous theories. And the freak outs! We had a blast writing this fic, and we're so glad you all enjoyed it too. We hope you are staying safe and healthy out there. Thanks for making this fic a joy to share.


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